i hit my first thousand followers when i was 16 years old, a little over a year from when i first created this blog. i wanted more than anything in this world to die. i was sad and hopeless and depressed. i self harmed and even attempted suicide. but there were still 200+ requests sitting in my inbox, and i told myself i couldn’t go until i had written every last one of them. i wrote and posted a fanfic daily without fail, like clockwork, no excuses allowed, for several months. as silly as it seems, you gave me reason and purpose to stay. it helped me stick around.
i hit my second thousand followers at the peak of my tumblr existence, where at this point, i was running two different blogs, both of which hit 2k at relatively the same time. while my mom was in the hospital, my dad was being extremely abusive, and i was being moved around relatives’ homes, barely even having enough time to sleep. however, i somehow miraculously wrote and posted saudade as well as regularly livestreamed on younow. i had hundreds of asks in my inbox, i met so many amazing people, and i was happier than ever. for the first time in my life, i felt like my writing was genuinely appreciated and had the potential to be something more. it made my silly childhood dreams of being an author a possibility i will never forget.
today i hit three thousand followers. i’ve written several series, over one hundred imagines, i’ve run several blogs, and i’ve met some of the most amazing people on this planet. some of whom i have even met in real life. i run a youtube channel, i have a handful of finished novels waiting to be edited and published, and i’m happier than ever. i am officially 18, moved out of my house, and headed to college. i am dating the love of my life. i’ve found my purpose. i know who i am now. and i want to live. i want to live so fucking bad, to greet every sunrise with a smile and every nightfall with a wave goodbye.
i wonder where i’ll be in life when i hit my next four thousand.
wherever that may be, i just hope you’re still right there beside me. thank you for all that you have done to support me. i do not have words to describe just how much you mean to me. i love you.