Feb 16, 2013
how do you tell yourself its time to walk away from the person you have loved for 4 years....
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how do you tell yourself its time to walk away from the person you have loved for 4 years....
1 week.
it's been one week without you. one week I don't see your beautiful face. one week I have not gone over to be lazy with you. one week I have not talked to you. one week where the most important person in my life has left. one week where I haven't kissed those lips of yours. one week I have thought about you every day. one week where I tried to be strong, but still cried myself to sleep. one week where my feelings towards you still has not changed. one week where I try and stop myself from texting you every night. one week where everyday I look at our pictures and cry every time. one week and I miss you so much. one week and im still hoping you come back and wed start over.
diary.
I cant talk to anyone anymore. why. cus no one wants to hear it. im not in the greatest mood. all I want to do is cry. cry cus I miss you terribly. I want you back. I really do. I would be lying if I said I don't. how can I be friends witth you. I cant. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. I didn't imagine us being like this. I miss you so much. I try and put a brave face on. its really hard when I just want to stay home and cry. even more when I look at our pictures. I know im hurting myself more but I like looking at them. it brings be back to the days that we were madly in love with eachother and super happy to be with eachother. im crying as I write this....
i cant..
I miss you. I am lying to myself and telling myself and everyone else that I am perfectly fine. i'm not. yeah I miss you. and I wish things didn't change between us. but things change and feelings change. your happiness means so much more to me than mine. I care about you. why should I make you feel trapped in a relationship/ or whatever we were. like you said you wanna be alone. and ill let you be alone. if that makes you happy. do I want you back? yeah. do I want things how they used to be like before we broke up the first time? most definitely. but that's what tore us apart. we spent every minute of the day w eachother. I miss the intimacy we had. like not gonna lie, you know how to do me good. I got attached more by the sex. sex means more to me. your my one and only. im most comfortable w you. you seen me at my worst and my best. I thank you for putting up w me. I know im a lot to handle. but you still managed how to make me the happiest girl on earth. and I would do anything to be back in your arms. cus quite frankly, I cant give up on us. I don't want to. I love you way too much to throw everything we've been through away.
i feel like my world is crashing down.....all because you .
over.
it's over. it took you a fucking month to tell me how you really felt? and me being the stupid one falling still head over heels for you. I thought everything was going good. til last week shit went down. I swear if I could tell you everything I've been keeping from you. I would. but I can't cus that will just destroy us even more. you would hate me so much if I told you. I hate myself. of course you made me the happiest girl on earth. but whats done is done.
Sorry.
You can take it back. The shiny thing that is on my ring finger and what is around my neck. Give it to one of those other beautiful girls you text. I'm sure one of them deserves it more than I do. You can make them happy the way you made me happy. Tell them they're beautiful. That you'll never leave them. That you will have a big family. That they're the only girl you've ever loved. That no one can replace them. Propose to them. Have a big wedding. I'm sure your mom and dad will love her. I hope she loves your sister like I do. I'm sure she'll yell at you if you hit her like I did. I hope you introduce her to the rest of your family. You deserve someone better. I'm sorry I'm not enough for you.
my baby's soccer game tomorrow. bright and early.