lost boy | 2002 | au self-para
āĀ in which regulus awakens in the cave.Ā
He remembered the grabbing; cold skeletal hands making contact with his porcelain skin in attempt to drag him down into their dark abyss. Regulus struggled, he remembered that as he went under the freezing waters, the taste of salt and the painful sting of water flowing into his eyes. There were too many inferi to fight off but he tried because he was Regulus Black and there was no way he was going to die like this, but the inferi only pulled him in deeper, cold and uncaring to his muffled pleas as his lungs filled with water until they were nothing. Until Regulus Black was no longer nothing. He had died tonight; or at least he thought he did, or was going to.
Nothing explained how he was currently sitting in the cave with his back against the wall after waking in a fit of sharp gasping breaths and water spluttering out of his mouth and onto the cave floor. His clothes were still wet, the cave still unnaturally dark and cold. Regulus wasnāt just freezing with his arms wrapped around his shaking body, he was exhausted and confused as he sat here, still trying to figure out how he survived. He ordered Kreature to go back to Number 12, an order his elf would never disobey. So why was he here? Why was he still alive? Something felt off and didnāt settle right with him. Ā He needed his wand, he had never gotten the chance to pull it out and defend himself. He had used a lantern for light; the less magic in the cave the better, he had decided when he entered with his elf by his side. He was a stupid boy, too confident in his abilities to think he wouldnāt need to have it at the ready. His fatal mistake.
Regulus searched his person, finding the wand on the inside of his robes and pulling it out; to him it had only been about an hour since he held it in his hand, but in reality it had been almost twenty-three years. The wand must have recognized the time difference because it lit up in sparks at being reunited with its master, a warm and oddly familiar electrifying shock cascading through his veins, causing Regulus to flinch in surprise, his eyes wide and alert because what if Voldemort sensed him here? The heir to the House of Black wasnāt sure what he would do then, probably die again. He had to get out of here, but how? The nineteen year old knew he couldnāt apparate from this point, but looking back out onto the waters he knew he couldnāt go by boat either. Regulus was scared. He was so scared to go back out there in case the inferi were to get to him again. Yet the lake was still as if there was nothing lurking beneath and as if he hadnāt just been pulled underneath itās surface. Part of him wondered if maybe it was all in his head. That there were never inferi to begin with, that he hadnāt been pulled under and maybe he had simply fallen into the lake by accident, maybe he had pulled himself back onto the cave floor before blacking out. Everything was still hazy, anything couldāve happened and just because his broken memories of the inferi were so vivid doesnāt mean that it happened.
There was a potion; he remembered drinking it. He remembered the pain of reliving the horrors of his childhood and early adulthood. The potion made it come to him in flashes and there was no escaping. Number 12ā¦Siriusā¦ his parentsā¦ the arguingā¦the cruciatus curseā¦ Sirius leavingā¦ andā¦ his mum... just his mumā¦ Freddieās intervention back in fifth year, the disappointment in his best friendās eyesā¦ and.. Auroraā¦ abandoning her, disappointing her, missing her like hellā¦ getting the dark markā¦killingā¦torturingā¦ murderā¦ he was a murderer. Regulus smacked the back of his head against the cave wall, eyes falling shut as he groaned, willing the tears from his eyes to stay in place for once and not betray him by leaking out from the corner of his eyelids.
It was all so overwhelming and too much for him to take in his disoriented state. His wand hand fell to his side but his grip never slipped on the hazel wood. He would be ready if something were to happen this time. Regulus just had to get out of here, and he didnāt think calling his house elf would be the safest form; not when he just sent him back with the Dark Lordās locket and orders to destroy it. The only way out was by boat, but Regulus wasnāt ready to go near the waters again. For now he was a confused, nineteen year old boy, trapped in a cave, too anxious and scared to face his fears and get out.