Your apartment resembles one I had in Paris for almost two years at 19 rue de l’Est. When you pass that way, look up at the second floor. From there too there was a view over Paris. On summer nights I used to look up at the stars, and in winter at the luminous mist of the great city floating above the houses. Just as from your windows, I saw gardens, roofs, the surrounding hills. When I walked into your house it seemed to me I was reliving my past, that I had returned to one of those beautiful, sad twilights of 1843, when I would sit at my window for a little air, utterly bored, deathly depressed. If only I had known you then! Why could that not have been? I was free, alone, without family or mistress, for I have never had a mistress. You will think that I am lying. I have never been more scrupulously truthful, and this is the reason why: the grotesque aspects of love have always kept me from indulging in it. At times I have wanted to give pleasure to women, but the idea of the strange spectacle I must be presenting at that moment made me laugh so much that all my desire melted under the fire of irony, which sang a hymn of bitter derision within me. It is only with you that I have not yet laughed at myself. But when I see you so intense, absolute in your passion, I am tempted to cry out to you, “No! No! You are making a mistake! Take care! Not this man!”
The Letters of Gustave Flaubert, 1830-1857, pp. 54-55, Translation by Francis Steegmuller