Apparently it's against the rules to kiss/be affectionate in Adelaide Zoo because it angers and distresses the animals. Perhaps NZ got a little handsy with OZ during a visit and he literally shoves him off XD
(Fml Jack you always give me the most cursed ideas but this was too funny not to write about u3u, also get out of my ask box I swear you're constantly here-)
Rating: K
Pairings: New Zealand/Australia (Nzoz)
Variation: Canon
---
"Please? Just one kiss?"
Jett sent him a withering look from over his shoulder, grinding his teeth as he thought about how to respond to the whiny New Zealander that stood in front of him.
"No James, it's against the rules."
【Don't Kiss me at Adelaide Zoo】
Whenever James visits him, Jett is fairly convinced that James only comes to Australia to see the selection of animals. And to see him of course, but if he had to choose between saving Jett or saving a rare Hairy-nosed Wombat, Jett stood hardly any chance.
In order to make some light of the situation, Jett always made sure to take James to a zoo or wildlife park. This visit in particular had started out as any other, James arriving on his delayed Air New Zealand flight from Auckland to Sydney. Proceeding to absolutely smother the Australian he'd missed so dearly in hard to breath cuddles and kisses, these sessions could go on for hours. They never failed to gain a few off handed stares from other Airport goers that passed them. Over the years Jett had warmed up to the action of having the breath squeezed out of him affectionately.
They usually stayed in Sydney, Jett concluding that a trip down to Adelaide would at least give them a change of scenery. Of course, Adelaide Zoo seemed like the go too place to take James. You can imagine his surprise when they're stood at the gates together and James blinked at him, a little dumbly.
"Aus, darlin, where are we?"
Jett was rather dumbfounded as he just stared at James. The Kiwi seemed genuinely confused.
"James. We're stood in front of a sign, with the giant letters, A-D-E-L-A-I-D-E-Z-O-O"
"I thought we were goin' to the movies-"
"Why on earth would I take you all the way to South Australia for a movie?!"
"I dunno! You said we were goin' to see somethin! So I thought movies..." James paused like he'd remembered something from the war. At least something along those lines with the fear on his face. "Just so you know Kookaburra, there's at least 2 tons of popcorn in the back of your car."
"I'm sorry wha-"
Before Jett can continue however, he's dragged into the gates of the Zoo. Perhaps a diversion of sorts because lord knows that James knew the argument that would follow when they got back to the carpark.
---
It might seem strange, James supposes, for him to be so fascinated by Jett's eyes. The Australian only giving him a odd look as they stand against the fences that border the Tiger enclosure. Perhaps he had never gotten the chance to look at them properly, they're a beautiful chartreuse green. Somehow they were more breath taking than the striped big cat that strolled along it's enclosure.
"You're staring again, you know..."
Jett diverted his attention from the Tiger over to the lovestruck Kiwi next to him. It wasn't abnormal for James to be hit with these kind of lovestruck trances.
"Oh I know, I just can't help the fact your eyes are so perfect~"
Jett just rolled his eyes but his face said otherwise. Giving him a very fond smile and a light pink blush to his response.
"Please, your chat lines are cheap."
James rested his hand on the railing before fully turning to Jett, Jett's peripheral vision catching James about to lean in for a kiss. Feeling a hand caress his waist and slide across his hips. Almost like his flight or fight responses kick in when he's yanked towards James, he let out a yell of distress and cupped James's mouth with his hand while James was mere centimeters away from his face.
"MMH?!"
James just stared at him in shock, looking down at Jett's fingers then back up at the flustered Australian who had just denied him his kiss. The fear on Jett's face only making him more confused.
"DON'T-!"
Their gazes meet for a spilt second before Jett quickly looked away from him, pushing James back with his fingers on his rough lips. "D-don't kiss me...not here..."
"Whot?! Why?!" his voice was muffled against Jett's palm, barely audible at this point.
"You just can't James-"
"Koala bear?! Normally you love my public affection! That time we made out at SeaWorld and got kicked out!"
"That's the point-" Jett hissed softly at him like he was giving him some kind of classified information that no one else could hear about. He was certainly acting like it too, the way his head tilted back to look around for other visitors, to see if anyone had seen them.
"Please? Just one kiss?"
Jett sent him a withering look from over his shoulder, grinding his teeth as he thought about how to respond to the whiny New Zealander that stood in front of him.
"No James, it's against the rules."
"Against...the rules?! What rules?!"
There's a heavy sigh that the Australian lets out when he finally looked back up at James.
"It's against Australian law to be affectionate near captive animals. They could become jealous, anxious or aggressive. That then leads to them causing disturbance, or worse, harm to other zoo goers."
James just stared at him like he was mentally processing the overload of information that simulated his brain to, figuratively explode. Like a computer with limited space and storage that would break almost on command.
For some reason James just imagined a very angry koala attempting to scratch out his eyes. Which amused him to some extent, making him chuckle and grin.
"So I can't kiss you?"
"No-"
James winced quietly when Jett released him from his restraints. Giving him a rather sheepish smirk all of a sudden.
"Fine. But as soon as we get back to the car, I'm making out with you."
The Australian let out a small snort like he was kidding about that, unfortunately for him, James wasn't kidding.
Jett was suffocated in love once again, in Adelaide Zoo carpark.
What would be the answer to number 66 on the OTP list questions? .w.
66. What are their parenting styles?
Jett is a very gentle parent. He's the kind of dad who will take you out to the playground and show you cool tricks on the monkey bars and probably fall. He doesnt really scold or yell. Just a smile and reassure dad. A sweet himbo dad. Fun, Loving and Goofy.
James is a laid back parent. Not too strict and often encouraging and even taking part in stupid childish ideas bc he's also childish. He also loves to teach about the outdoors and environment so his kids grow up respecting and loving nature just as much as he does(Thank you @a-local-asshat for the info ily bestie/p)
