Uther Pendragon had a problem. He'd spent so long trying to search for the mysterious, elusive being roaming through the halls of his castle, his home. It wasn't enough that this…thing was clearly a magic user, no. This being also left some quite interesting messages in each room they've frequented.
Uther ordered every knight to try and capture the being, but so far, with no results. It wasn't until one day he entered his chanber and there, he saw them. White, blinding hair and electric orbs
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The creature was…. strangely stunning. So incredibly alluring. Beautifully enticing.
Sexy. As. Fuck.
Quietly, internally, Uther hoped the beautiful twink in his bedroom was into dilfs. It was his only chance at getting a creature this fantastic to……
NO!!! He shan't even think of it… This thing had been stalking the halls of his home. He couldn't just…
"I've been waiting for you, Your Highness" - the white-haired beauty had a purr in his voice. Uther shivered.
"Give me one good reason not to call the guards waiting outside this chamber right this instant."
"And take away all the fun we could have~?"
The night was certainly taking a turn…
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"I have no idea what you could mean," he retorted, "clearly you are here to murder me. Or curse me."
"Oh, darling." The creature slipped from the bed and wandered towards him, easy as if he owned the place. His eyes caught every ounce of Uther's attention. Against his better judgement, his tongue lay still.
"Tell me, your majesty, when do you take the time to rest?"
Hands began exploring his shoulders, sharp fingernails grazing his neck. The creature's teeth were sharp, his face elegant and alluring. "Why don't we relax together?"
A haze began to descend on Uther's mind, an all encompassing exhaustion. Hell yheah
Zuko put his all into his firebending practise, throwing flames and into the foliage around him. He'd been in the Earthkingdom so long, it was freeing to bend safely, hidden in the woods, and let himself feel all his emotions. His father didn't want him, Azula betrayed him and his honour - that was a bitter ex.
He kicked a ball of flame into the trees and screamed with rage. He fell and began beating the ground, but heard a rustling from the scorch marks
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The shape that appeared was a catterpillar, a very large one. It's green skin had blended in well with the leaves, but the red face stood out in dark contrast with the burnt ash. Zuko bent down, looking at the little animal lost in the warm ash, how hadn't it burnt to a crisp? Just then, the catterpillar opened it's mouth like a snake, it's jaws unhinging to eat the hot embers. The catterpillar was very clearly extremely hungry.
Unsettled by this weird animal, Zuko sent another burst of flame in its direction, if it had managed to eat hot coals, what else could it do, where would it stop… was it the avatar? The insect didn't spare him a glance, devouring the flames as they licked up it's sides in reds and oran
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hues. What frightened Zuko the most was the eerie silence the beast was surrounded in. There was no reaction or noise that came from the creature as it slowly approached him. It was moving, tantalizingly slow and Zuko could hear Azula's laugh and how she would have probably already burnt it to a crisp by now.
At least I would die doing what I am good at: firebending and being a loser, thought the emo ass teenager, already picturing his mom waiting for him on the other side with the turtle-duck his sister had killed.
Silence followed.
Zuko was still breathing and thus, he deduced, very much alive.
Joan of Arc had been resurrected for one reason, and one reason alone - to kill Jeff Bezos.
It was a noble quest. The type of quest vengeful angels who bring you back from the ashes akin to a Phoenix (HOLY SHIT XMEN REFERENCE!!!!!!) would certainly impart upon you. But it would not be easy. Once more, she was to be tested before God.
The kill begun as any good one did, with the hunt. She stalked him for what felt like months. Days melted into each other as she watched Jeff go about his day, flying his private plane down to the local cornerstore to spit on the poor and fly back to the supermarket contained entirely within his megamansion in the hills. It was repulsive.
She could take it no longer. She had to kill him NOW.
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She stalked through the halls of the skyscraper he owned but never worked in, searching for the gleam of his scalp under the burning overhead lights. He had come, sneering, through the rotating doors to sit in on meetings and hover in doorways. He walked the line between overbearing boss and untouchable divinity. But his time was up, she had killed many god-like men before.
He was waiting for her.
"Joan," he said pleasantly, which brought her up short, "I have a proposition."
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Joan stared at him, angered. "ta guele" she answered, it did not matter what language she spoke, because soon the man would be dead at her feet.
She heard the voice of god many times since she was a young girl, even hanging out with the big man upstairs when she was dead and in heaven. But this time, it was different. This time, she didn't know if she could win. Because she wasn't just fighting a man, she was battling the unending force known as capitalism.
That evil had not been known to her, as a child growing up at domremy la pucelle, she only knew of serfdom. But she could see clearly now that this evil was greater than anything she'd ever known. Even more evil than the british. She seized her spear, looking up to the sky in prayer as she raised it over her head. Her hands clung to the wooden shaft, sweaty with anticipation.
Finally, she swung the weapon empaling the horrible man in the throat and watching him bleed out.
