Izzy's Frantic Fanfics

The collective brainchild of 8 people playing Frantic Fanfic

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

welcome to our twisted spine

this blog is just somewhere for our friend group to keep our frantic fanfic creations categorized. if you find something here you enjoy, great! if u find these funny, follow! do whatever! we're just here for a nice time

here's how our tagging system works;

AUTHOR tags will tell you who worked on which fic. these tags will also be used when posting art created by a particular author from our group! these are as follows:

#author sam

#author kauria

#author mims

#author lera

#author penn

#author ehl

#author heiko

#author circe

MOD tags will tell you who made the post (but this person may not always be the author of the fic/art/whatever else!) these are currently as follows:

#mod sam

#mod mims

each post will be tagged with the characters and fandoms related to that post. additionally, we will use these extra tags for other stuff:

#frantic asks - for asks, if we ever get any

#frantic creations - for art and other stuff related to the insane shit we decide to write

#frantic ramblings - for posts unrelated to our fics, and just ppl yapping about who knows what

#suggestive - for any post that gets a little raunchy

#NSFW - for any post that gets outright NSFW, but you could have guessed as much

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Sam Wants to Kill Kauria, With Love (no Yaoi)

Characters: Magneto & ..... Author Sam ?!

Erik Lehnsherr took one look at the curly-haired girl in front of him and said:

"You should have tried harder, Sam". His voice was deep, silky honey with an undercurrent of threat. If Sam had tried harder, she wouldn't be held down by two of Magneto's mutants while he floated above the ground mere metres from her.

"If you had, I wouldn't get to force you to live here.. as my servant. Sadly you aren't a mutant, but I can live with that. I'm not sure you can, though."

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"I got what I wanted," she said, clearly unbothered despite the situation. "You thought you dictated the rules here? Well, you would be wrong. This has been a part of my plan all along."

"And what would that plan be, hmm?" Magneto's voice was magnetic. "Getting yourself captured?"

"Maybe," she said, her voice almost…cheerful. Magneto wasn't sure what to say. Should he try to intimidate her or try a different tactic? This didn't seem to work

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Erik could have never prepared for this - somehow, in his hubris, he had allowed a, and he really thought this with much disgust, a fangirl to get close.

"It's okay. This is a meta narrative I'm completely in control of. I'm not Chris Claremont or Beau DeMayo. I'm not gonna make you commit a crime! Like, I'm even younger than Rogue was in Savage Land, yuck. Plus I'm like totally probably maybe on the asexual spectrum and honestly I would much preferred if you just let me date one of your daughters. Maybe both of them. Would this be a crazy time to say I'm here to ask for Lorna's hand in marriage. I've got pictures of her printed on my wall haha. I wish that was a joke for the sake of this meta narrative. And while I do have pictures of you printed next to hers also that's more of a… You know when you have pictures of your grampa in your house?? I'm also in a committed relationship, so yeah, nothing weird here. Thanks Kauria"

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Forbidden Magic

Characters: Astarion & Uther Pendragon (bbc merlin)

Uther Pendragon had a problem. He'd spent so long trying to search for the mysterious, elusive being roaming through the halls of his castle, his home. It wasn't enough that this…thing was clearly a magic user, no. This being also left some quite interesting messages in each room they've frequented.

Uther ordered every knight to try and capture the being, but so far, with no results. It wasn't until one day he entered his chanber and there, he saw them. White, blinding hair and electric orbs

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The creature was…. strangely stunning. So incredibly alluring. Beautifully enticing.

Sexy. As. Fuck.

Quietly, internally, Uther hoped the beautiful twink in his bedroom was into dilfs. It was his only chance at getting a creature this fantastic to……

NO!!! He shan't even think of it… This thing had been stalking the halls of his home. He couldn't just…

"I've been waiting for you, Your Highness" - the white-haired beauty had a purr in his voice. Uther shivered.

"Give me one good reason not to call the guards waiting outside this chamber right this instant."

"And take away all the fun we could have~?"

The night was certainly taking a turn…

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"I have no idea what you could mean," he retorted, "clearly you are here to murder me. Or curse me."

"Oh, darling." The creature slipped from the bed and wandered towards him, easy as if he owned the place. His eyes caught every ounce of Uther's attention. Against his better judgement, his tongue lay still.

"Tell me, your majesty, when do you take the time to rest?"

Hands began exploring his shoulders, sharp fingernails grazing his neck. The creature's teeth were sharp, his face elegant and alluring. "Why don't we relax together?"

A haze began to descend on Uther's mind, an all encompassing exhaustion. Hell yheah

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Caved In

Characters: Superman & Princess Celestia (mlp)

Celestia had 1 rule when going out on missions with the league: never enter caves. She and caves never got along, not when she was made to soar through the skies, spread her wings and work her daylight magic all across the world. With Superman at her side, caves were slightly more manageable.

Or at least, they should have been.

Stupid joker and his stupid alliance with Discord. Now they were both stuck in the collapsed caves, the kryptonian crystals imbedded on the walls preventing her co-hero from getting them out through brute force.

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Celestia felt a dull throb of pain in one of her hooves, and her wing must have been stuck under a pile of rubble. Superman gazed at her white fur and the bloodstains on it.

"I'm so sorry, Princess Celestia. I cannot break through the walls. But… I think you could."

"My magic is not strong here. I think the Kryptonite… may just be my own kryptonite too."

"I will try to free you from this rock on your wing, but further than that, I'm afraid… It all rests on your shoulders."

Do pegasi have shoulders, Superman wondered, but refrained from asking.

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Superman collected all of his strength and heaved the rock up, freeing Princess Celestia's wing. She thanked him and tried moving it, but a sharp flash of pain stopped her. She had no choice. Even with a broken wing, she had to do this.

"Step aside," she said gently to Superman and began gathering her bearings. Nice and simple. Except it wouldn't be. Not this time.

Superman did, and she faced the wall.

Light blazed through the cav

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Soda and Water Never Mixed Well (Yet We Tried Anyways)

Characters: Baby Saja(kpop demon hunters) & Percy Jackson

"Look I know you're a demon and all but you literally have one chore to do in the house and it's to water the plants, so pleaaase, do it!"

This exact sentence had been uttered by Percy's mouth so many times he could say it with his eyes closed and in almost every language he knew (which was English, bad Spanish and Sarcasm). And similarly, like every single time, Baby Saja answered with the same string of words.

"Aren't you a water spirit or something? Shouldn't you be the one to water the plants?"

"I am a demi-god for fuc-"

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"Watch your words!" Baby Saja tutted, "Wouldn't want to swear around a bwabwy~"

Percy threw his hands in the air. He was done. DONE. with the newcomer's bullshit. The Hermes Cabin better get their bed space situation sorted stat. Or Poseidon better not claim a new son any time soon. One more day of this whole roommate situation and Camp Half-Blood was going to turn into a murder scene.

And as often when it came to Percy and the Gods, it all went terribly when the next day, at breakfast, Baby Saja stood in the middle of the room with

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a glittering symbol above his head. He was a son of… Apollo. That explained why he was such a dumbfuck of a shithead.

Baby Saja looked up at the lyre symbol and tutted.

"At least I know where I got the singing voice from… Huh, Jackson?" he said with a smile that promised only bad, bad things.

Percy braced himself, as Baby Saja stalked closer, his mint hair gently covering his forehead.

"You're my soda pop! my little soda pop! pop!"

the fucker started serenading Percy with a really, really bad pop song… about soda.

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Come so Far From the Death Star

Characters: Louis Tomlinson & Anakin Skywalker

Louis was playing in a small club on a Aaloth, singing his hit song, High in california. He then went on to sing Habit, thinking about his ex, Harry styles, that he left on another planet. Just as he was singing his eyes scanned the room, landing on a beautiful young man with blue orbs and a sexy golden outfit. As he sang to the complete stranger he couldn't help noting the warmth in those blue eyes, and how different they were from the green he'd left on earth

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It had been what, seconds, possibly minutes, when he had gay thoughts regarding a man and boom- here he was again, pondering about the way the man's hair would feel around his hand. What shampoo did the blue-eyed man use? For all he knew about this planet -on which he had landed approximately seven minutes ago-, hair hygiene was definitely not a well-known art.

He noticed the man was staring at him as well. Except there was no love nor a hint of interest in his cerualen orbs.

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Louis raised his guitar and spoke into the mic.

"This next song is dedicated to handsome strangers. I call it 'Lost in your Cerulean Orbit'."

There, the stranger looked at him and their eyes crossed. Louis was no stranger to love, it was the primary drive behind his every creations. But this? Now? The spark shared between the two of them was special. Both he and the strangers had felt it, he knew it.

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

HUNGER

Characters: A Very Hungry Catterpillar & Zuko

Zuko put his all into his firebending practise, throwing flames and into the foliage around him. He'd been in the Earthkingdom so long, it was freeing to bend safely, hidden in the woods, and let himself feel all his emotions. His father didn't want him, Azula betrayed him and his honour - that was a bitter ex.

He kicked a ball of flame into the trees and screamed with rage. He fell and began beating the ground, but heard a rustling from the scorch marks

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The shape that appeared was a catterpillar, a very large one. It's green skin had blended in well with the leaves, but the red face stood out in dark contrast with the burnt ash. Zuko bent down, looking at the little animal lost in the warm ash, how hadn't it burnt to a crisp? Just then, the catterpillar opened it's mouth like a snake, it's jaws unhinging to eat the hot embers. The catterpillar was very clearly extremely hungry.

Unsettled by this weird animal, Zuko sent another burst of flame in its direction, if it had managed to eat hot coals, what else could it do, where would it stop… was it the avatar? The insect didn't spare him a glance, devouring the flames as they licked up it's sides in reds and oran

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hues. What frightened Zuko the most was the eerie silence the beast was surrounded in. There was no reaction or noise that came from the creature as it slowly approached him. It was moving, tantalizingly slow and Zuko could hear Azula's laugh and how she would have probably already burnt it to a crisp by now.

At least I would die doing what I am good at: firebending and being a loser, thought the emo ass teenager, already picturing his mom waiting for him on the other side with the turtle-duck his sister had killed.

Silence followed.

Zuko was still breathing and thus, he deduced, very much alive.

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

To kill a billionare

Characters: Jeff Bezos & Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc had been resurrected for one reason, and one reason alone - to kill Jeff Bezos.

It was a noble quest. The type of quest vengeful angels who bring you back from the ashes akin to a Phoenix (HOLY SHIT XMEN REFERENCE!!!!!!) would certainly impart upon you. But it would not be easy. Once more, she was to be tested before God.

The kill begun as any good one did, with the hunt. She stalked him for what felt like months. Days melted into each other as she watched Jeff go about his day, flying his private plane down to the local cornerstore to spit on the poor and fly back to the supermarket contained entirely within his megamansion in the hills. It was repulsive.

She could take it no longer. She had to kill him NOW.

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She stalked through the halls of the skyscraper he owned but never worked in, searching for the gleam of his scalp under the burning overhead lights. He had come, sneering, through the rotating doors to sit in on meetings and hover in doorways. He walked the line between overbearing boss and untouchable divinity. But his time was up, she had killed many god-like men before.

He was waiting for her.

"Joan," he said pleasantly, which brought her up short, "I have a proposition."

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Joan stared at him, angered. "ta guele" she answered, it did not matter what language she spoke, because soon the man would be dead at her feet.

She heard the voice of god many times since she was a young girl, even hanging out with the big man upstairs when she was dead and in heaven. But this time, it was different. This time, she didn't know if she could win. Because she wasn't just fighting a man, she was battling the unending force known as capitalism.

That evil had not been known to her, as a child growing up at domremy la pucelle, she only knew of serfdom. But she could see clearly now that this evil was greater than anything she'd ever known. Even more evil than the british. She seized her spear, looking up to the sky in prayer as she raised it over her head. Her hands clung to the wooden shaft, sweaty with anticipation.

Finally, she swung the weapon empaling the horrible man in the throat and watching him bleed out.

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Cruel summer (You know that I caught it)

Characters: Mary Poppins & Taylor Swift

Mary Poppins wasn't your average time-travelling nanny. She was a badass, crime-fighting, time-travelling agent, who posed as a petsitter, when in reality she inserted herself into the lives of celebrities to make sure no funny business was going on. Taylor Swift certainly had enough cats to take care of, but Ms. Poppins had to make sure she also had time to ensure Taylor wasn't committing crimes on the side. She entrusted Travis with the cats for a day in order to shadow Taylor and see if she was secretly evil…

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It started out slow, taylor going out to do the usual pr stunts. A trip to a hospital, a donation to a school, but soon, things started getting more sombre. With every new place taylor visited, her skin glowed brighter, her teeth became sharper it was as if she was gaining some supernatural power from the attention. Of course, it all came to a head at night, during the infamous Eras Tour. Lover started playing, the singer's blue orbs shining over the crowd as she sang slowly, with intent. That is when Mary poppins understood, she was practically perfect in every way, of course she understood dark magic. As Taylor swift finished the last notes of Miss americana and the heartbreak prince, the stadium errupted in joy, laughter, and magic.

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That was it. Mary Poppins nodded, pulling the umbrella from her bag, unlocking the safety to detach the handle from the fabric and pulling out the sword hidden all along.

"Cease this at once!" Mary Poppins jumped on stage, sword raised toward the demon that was Taylor.

"Well well well… If it isn't Miss Poppins. I've been waiting for the day we'd finally meet."

Taylor Swift's mic expanded into a staff, horns grew from under her blond locks, revealing to the world her true evil face.

"I can't let you feed off those poor souls any longer." Mary Poppins sprung forward, toward the fight she'd trained for.

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Two Autistic Fags Walk Into a Coffee Shop

Characters: Charles Xavier & Arthur (bbc merlin)

Arthur thought he knew everything about humanity. Plus as a gay person, he prided himself to be the most knowledgeable about men especially. Yet when he saw a blue-eyed man who ALSO couldn't walk, he was shocked- How could one be so unloved by the red threads of fate to be simultaneously disabled AND cursed with blue shimmering orbs… The man,

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with his shiny, beautiful, sexy bald little head, was unfortunately irresistible. Blue orbs be damned.

They met as all good pairings of this kind do. No matter where you head, you will find a coffee shops. Yes, even in vaguely medieval fantasy settings. (See, Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldtree!) How Charles had found himself there, there's no way to tell. Probably some Otherworld bullshit. Blame Betsy Braddock.

Whatever it may be, Arthur could not tear his eyes as he strolled (rolled?) into the room with the grace of a man who really did NOT look as though he should have been born with blue orbs. Or natural blonde hair, for that matter. At the very least THAT ick had managed to fall away with the years.

It was fate. It had to be.

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There was no other option to explain this feeling which sprouted in Arthur's muscular chest. He wanted to say something, anything, but no word was coming out of his throat, his voice wholly stolen by the beautiful man.

The man who was looking at him, as if waiting for something.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" he asked, trying to ignore his beating heart.

"I'm…looking. For someone," the man said, as if searching for the right words.

"Many people pass through here. Maybe whoever you're looking for has too. What's his name?"

The man looked at himself, his face impassive.

"His name is Erik."

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Leek sabers

Characters: Hatsune Miku & Obi-Wan Kenobi

"Hello Young Padawan," Obi-Wan smiled proudly. "I can see your venture to the cave of Ilum was a succes, although I'll admit I have never seen a light saber quite like yours."

Hatsune Miku twirled the leek sabers in each her hands, a faint, healthy, vegetable scent permeating the air.

"They're powerful, I can tell. I'm ready to defen

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this cave and all jedis ever."

Her leek sabers emitted that vegetable scent which enticed Obi-Wan Kenobi so much. It reminded him of home, the home he could never go back to. Hatsune Miku stood in front of him, her turquoise ponytails seeming to gently move in a breeze, and yet there was no breeze at all. Obi-Wan was curious as to how that was possible. He considered Hatsune Miku's bright orbs and how they looked at him expectantly.

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Obi-Wan kept his padawan's gaze, nodding once as he spoke.

"Hatsune Miku, it seems the student has surpassed the master," He let his hand grasp at one of the leek sabers, before continuing. "You are no longer my Padawan, Miku, you are your own Jedi master. Your link to the force is strong, and the power you hold over these leek sabers is impressive. I have no doubt that you will one day restore peace and balance to the galaxy."

Miku nodded, her orbs glazed over with unshed tears as she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. It was an honor to be considered a master in her own right, but she wasn't sure she was ready for it, she still had so much to learn. But as she brandished her leeks in a triumphant pose, she knew she had to do it. She was the chosen one.

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Looking for a Singing Twink

Characters: Geralt of Rivia & Harry Styles

Geralt observed the room, searching for his new informant. It's been a few days since he started tracking the one man who could tell him anything. According to his information, the man he was looking for had an intriguing sense of style, a strange accent and would break into song once in a while. He surely wasn't looking forward to the songs.

A man with chestnut tussled locks drew his eyes. He sat hunched at a table.

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The Witcher almost left out a grunt of exasperation. This man could either be the worst creature he had to face yet: a British man. British men were not to be confused with British women, who were, as everyone knew -especially the Dandelion- could be compared to goddesses of charisma. As for the British men… to explain it simply, they were the total opposite. A true failure of humanity with their pompous accent and malevolent rizz that could turn even the most thirsty of succubus.

But Geralt needed a contract. Needed the money to prepare for winter and so, he approached the monster, not without touching his

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sword, just in case (what did you think that was going to say, pervert?)

"'ello luv. lovely day 'ere having."

Geralt wanted to vomit.

"I'm looking for information."

"Well, for a lovely lady like yourself, anythin'"

He must have been drunk. VERY drunk. He started reaching for his guitar, so Geralt slapped his arm on the table to stop him.

"Cease, minstrel."

"Is that some kind of slur?"

"I do not care enough to call you a slur."

Harry looked away. Dejectedly.

"I like when men like you are a little mean."

Geralt had to admit, he had a soft spot for singing twinks of this kind. But he couldn't cave. Not here, not now. He had a job to do and he would do it, damn it.

i'm out of time uhhhh they bickered a bit more and then fucked. love is love gay rights happy pride

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

The Profiler and the Hedgehog

Characters: Will Graham & Sonic the Hedgehog

Will's eyes scanned the crime scene, taking in the very little evidence he could see. He closed his eyes, slowly letting himself get immersed in the killer's mindset. Quiet settled over his mind until the only thing he could hear was the steady rhythm of feet hitting the ground. It was so fast he barely recognised it at first, but he finally concentrated enough to see the shape of the killer in his mind, a short, dark figure with spiky hair (fur?). He locked eyes with the figure, and the ravenette blinked back, his red orbs shining in the dark.

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"You there! Come out at once!" Will spoke with authority.

There, from the shadow of the wall, came out the silhouette. Now in the light of the room, the figure was clearer under the glass chandelier. Blue fur tainted red. Hands raised high enough that he could see the trembles wracking his body.

"I'm innocent," Sonic pleaded. "It was Dr. RObo

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Will felt his own hands begin shaking. He knew that words such as that came out of the mouths of killers all the time, and yet, he was inclined to believe this strange creature. Because… There was something similar about them. The creature was small and ragged, in its eyes a crazed, wild look akin to what Will often experienced. The look of a wild animal in a cage.

"If you're innocent, why are you at the crime scene? And why are you covered in blood?"

Sonic stuttered for a moment. "I know who you are. I read about you on Tattlecrime.com…"

"Is that supposed to make you appear innocent?"

Sonic paused. He slowly lowered his hands, as his gaze dropped and the trembling stopped.

"No", he smiled them, a cold and cruel sneer on his face. "I just want you to chase me, Will."

With that, he turned and disappeared with only a faint sense of… blue.

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Stacy's Mom has got it Going On

Characters: UCD's very own Newman Building & Thomas the Tank Engine

Thomas sought purpose. He had spent what felt like eternity (which you could say the limbo of being a children's entertainment mascot is akin to) moving forward, forward, forward without any goal in mind. He needed somewhere to head to. A track to follow.

After soul-searching, Thomas finally understood - what he sought, was love.

But a train engine can't love a human. At the very least, Thomas was not interested in a human romance. So he wandered. He rode on and on, an ache in his heart. And after what felt like a thousand days and nights, he saw it.

UCD's very own Newman Building. Perhaps the most conventionally attractive building Thomas had ever glimpsed. And that's when he knew he had finally found something he could truly love. But loving Newman would not be easy.

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It started with trying to strike up a conversation. Thomas was not used to saying much, and inside his blue metallic shape, there was little room for anything other than a simple hello.

But there was no reply. Only the wind around this striking, leaking building howled around to the accompaniment of seagull cries.

Newman stood, unmoving.

This made it even more alluring.

Thomas decided he would try a different tactic.

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They were many doors to the Newman Building yet Thomas knew only one could lead to the cold heart of his true love. After much pondering whether where he should start to make his entrance, he decided on an even bolder approach: drowning himself.

The cold water was… cold as fuck. This was clearly the worst idea and God knows he had been allowed many as a literal servant for kids all around the world. He could feel his wheels getting heavier, and his eyes were beginning to close when he felt it. Something, as light as a feather, stroked his grey face.

Forcing himself to open his eyes again, he saw no one else than Stacy, the messenger of Newman smiling at him. He knew he had succeeded

[memento-me]

Hi, I don't usually post my art on tumblr but I am starting commissions so here I am!!

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Happy Pride from everyone here at Izzy's Frantic Fanfics with another piece of art of author penn from Feather and Sparkles make a messy bed

[izzys-frantic-fanfics]

Turns out I can't pick which is my favourite from author penn's Edward and Zeus' drawing so you're getting both. For more on their lovely love story, check out Feather and Sparkles make a messy bed