Me: I’m going to write something serious tonight. Me at 2 AM: 🤡✨ writing this instead.
( Dora’s room. She’s sprawled on the floor, but this time she isn't in shock. She’s having a full-blown hysterical laughing fit, holding her phone above her face. John is sitting on the floor beside her, leaning against the bed, watching her with an expression that says he’s about to call a mystical asylum.)
Dora: (Laughing so hard she’s breathless) "John... John, you have no idea! I... I thought I had a new reader on Tumblr! Someone interested in your arc! Someone who saw our TikTok 'mini-theater'!"
John: (Arches a skeptical eyebrow) "And let me guess... the 'reader' was a profile-picture-less account named 'Success_Trader_99' wanting to teach you how to invest in blood-themed cryptocurrency?"
Dora: (Rolls over on the floor, laughing even harder) "Almost! The bot came in all confident, showing its little claws, and sent a: 'Let’s work together?'. It wants to sell me a course, John! It wants to be my agent! It’s a bot trying to scam me!"
John: (Lets out a heavy sigh and covers his face with his hand) "Dora, for the love of all the ancestors... You got excited over a spam bot? How far have we fallen?"
Dora: (Sits up, wiping away tears of laughter, but with a tiny, sad pout) "Hey! My social interaction options right now are: either I talk to you—who’s a grumpy Original-project I invented myself—or I talk to a bot that wants to steal my bank deatils. Between the scam and the delusion, you’re cheaper, John! You don’t charge commission!"
John: (Stares at her for a long beat in silence. Then, he lets out a dry snort and shakes his head) "Yeah... true. I am the budget-friendly option. At least I won’t send you an affiliate link in the middle of your creative meltdown."
Grimoire: (Hovering over them, its pages flapping with a sound like a gossiping aunt clicking her tongue) "What a delicious downfall. An author so desperate for feedback she almost fell for the siren song of a sales algorithm. Dora, if you want to be deceived that badly, I can craft a spell to make you believe you have a million readers, but it’ll cost you your remaining sanity... Oh, wait, you already spent it all laughing at a bot."
Dora: (Swatting the air toward the book) "Shut up! I wasn't going to fall for it, I just thought it was funny! If I don't laugh, I'll cry. The post is sitting there in the void, and the only one who shows up is a 'course salesman.' John is suffering horrors in the PDF and the bot is asking if I want to 'leverage my earnings'."
John: (Reaches out and gives Dora an awkward little pat on the shoulder) "Look, if it's any consolation... if the bot wants to work with you, it's because it saw potential in your engagement with the void. It’s recognition, in a way."
Dora: (Looks at John, then her phone, and starts laughing again) "You’re terrible at consoling people, you know that?"
John: "I’m free, Dora. You get what you pay for."
Grimoire: "John is right. Next time a bot appears, ask if it’s willing to be sacrificed in a Season Three ritual. If it replies 'Yes,' then we’ll truly have a successful partnership."
Dora: (Leaning her head on John’s shoulder, still giggling) "I’ll stick with the character. At least John doesn't try to sell me digital marketing courses in the middle of the compound courtyard."
John: "Don’t give me ideas. If Season Three takes too long, I’ll start selling 'Survival Tips for OCs' on your Tumblr."
Dora: "At least John is real in my PDF..."
John: "And the bot is real in your bank statement. Stick to the PDF, Dora. Stick to the PDF."
