Dec 30, 2017
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“She got to me first, Dad.”
hello there little gothling,
“Is that a real word?”
clean ur room young man
“...”
“No.”
(autmnleaf pt1) I know when you are around different people, you will show different parts of your personality, that's normal. But I feel I only have a personality when I am around people, which I instantly lose when I'm alone.
(autmnleaf pt2) When I’m alone, I either imagine someone is sitting next to me so I can start talking to them or I get busy wasting time to be occupied. Being alone in a quiet room makes me extremely uncomfortable if I cannot distract myself.
(autmnleaf pt3) Between two moments of being around people, I merely exist and waste time before I can be around someone again. There is no motivation or joy to do anything. I hope I managed to explain this. Is it normal? What could cause this?
Hi anon,
I think that learning to be alone and be comfortable when being alone, is a hard skill and it’s something that comes naturally to some, but not to others. It can be a personality thing, but I do think it’s part of life to learn how to be alone and be OK with being alone.
Maybe the first step would be to identify what it is that makes you so uncomfortable being by yourself; is it your thoughts and emotions that pop up that bother you? do you find it hard to just sit with your thoughts? I know this is something I struggle with so I can understand that, and it’s something that I am practicing and working on because it’s a goal for me to get more comfortable with myself and being by myself. Mindfulness skills can be helpful with this sort of thing. Just learning to sit with my thoughts and emotions and not distracting myself or having to do something, or be with others, is a helpful way to get more comfortable with yourself. Maybe that’s not the issue for you though, so it would be helpful to identify where the uncomfortableness comes from and then you can better identify how to work on it, if that’s something you want to do.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing or abnormal, but if it’s something you want to change and work on, then I think it’s worth seeking out help for it and working to build skills and get more comfortable with it.
It’s definitely normal to have these struggles though, and it’s something that I do believe changes with time and can change with work as well.
Lina