#avenesce

[hhanseung]

@avenesce from here.

“i’ve never thought about that…” her only fear is the unknown, which is a very vast topic because most things out in this world are unknown. she couldn’t dare to just sit and think about what will happen the next day, in a week, a month or a year. she couldn’t even think about all the unknown creatures who have never been found yet, either in the ocean, on land and maybe even in outer space. she could see that he was truly bothered by the statement he had made. she didn’t know how to cheer him up, heck, back when she took care of her parents she didn’t know how to cheer them up either, all she did was make sure they had everything that they needed. she wanted to know how it made him feel, thinking about something like that, but she knew she would be crossing the line, just as if someone asked her the same questions about her fears. “maybe we should change the subject, yeah?” she offered him, just to be sure he wasn’t stuck in his thoughts like she would be if she was in his position.

For so long Seunghyun thinks that had made peace with death. Especially knowing what he does for a living, to him death is just an old friend that might come by and visit him anytime he wants. However, being in the verge of it, experiencing it for the very first time a week ago robbed everything he believed in. He always thinks that it would be just him quietly walking down a bright highway until he reaches the upstairs, but it was completely the opposite. There was nothing but a complete horror and agony. He can still remember how fast his heart beat, how suffocating the air felt, and how utterly scared he was. It was like falling down a pitch-black bottomless hell hole with no one there to help you or hear you scream. “Yeah, sometimes we never thought about something until it really happened.” he softly replies, rubbing his face to shake off the frightening thoughts. “But hey, thinking about it gives your life meaning. It just drives you to live your life to the fullest before it’s too late.” he carries on with a smile then sighs. “You’re right. This is depressing to talk about isn’t it?” a soft chuckle escapes his mouth. “Sorry, though. I didn’t mean to drag you down with me there.”

[jjnhyng-blog]

starter call // @avenesce​

          walking up to the checkout station with his basket weighted down with more than just a boxer of crackers and some soup, he smiles at the cashier sheepishly. “i told myself i would come here to buy just crackers and now i have a whole basket full of stuff...”

[stilledsouls]

@avenesce ( ✧ continued )

“don’t we all…” youngja had looked away from the older male momentarily as she rolled her eyes. everyone has the right to be angry with or at someone, she understood that. but to her, people needed to understand that others do or say things for a reason, to either protect someone or themselves. youngja is always trying to protect herself, it had nothing to do with it being him. even if she was with someone else, she is cautious and always trying to carefully speak her mind without anyone stopping to ask her what is truly up with her. no matter how angry he was in this moment, she would have thought that he would understand where she was coming from. she thought that maybe he would understand what it was like to want to hide parts of you that you didn’t want anyone to know. “i lied not because i didn’t trust you or felt some way towards you, i lied because i don’t trust anyone. there’s a difference.” 

The male was used to being a receiver of misplaced trust until he was labelled an inadequate, breaching their normative expectations with his insensitivity and nefarious alacrity for things that were deemed to be improper and distasteful. But no one bothered to review the hurt afflicted upon him every time they withdrew it unhesitantly, prising it away with steady fingers and a slew of malicious words to his pretence of an ego. Wounds were inflicted upon wounds, old ones viciously torn and reopened at the scabs, leaving an unseen heart marred with hastily stitched up lines. Hardly anyone bothered to offer a shred of concern, but neither did he— years of downplaying his emotions and ability to feel, and pain had become nothing more than a dull hum reverberating among a thousand other thoughts in his mind. But he supposes she could be different yet; though very much unforeseen and unrequested, an explanation she had nevertheless presented. It was one he realised he could finally understand.

“ Must be tedious isn’t it—  not trusting anyone? ” Her answer had been devoid of sustained anger, and perhaps, Hanbyul conceded, rightly so in the circumstances. “ I used to trust people easily, ” he confessed haphazardly into the night, discomfort welling up immediately in the marrow of his bones. “ But that was a very long time ago, I don’t remember what it was like anymore. But I think I understand, I’m trying to at least— trust remains to be earned, and given that we hardly know each other, its absence is very much permitted. But if I truly did wish to earn a small portion of yours, would you agree to sharing just one secret each? ” He’s negotiating, but an effort is surely made towards phrasing his request in the most undemanding fashion he knew of.

[pvndra-blog1]

™

( FILE: SEND ME "™" IF YOU THINK I’M QUALITY. )  current status: accepting!  written for @avenesce.

ahhh, thank you! it means a lot coming from you :^) and obviously, i think you’re quality as well. your muses are always interesting even if you believe they’re not!!

[pvndra-blog1]

「 ❝ @avenesce ; continuing from here! 」

“well, good! maybe that’ll show you not to go back on your word.” she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the female as she was trying to fix her things for class tomorrow. they both were supposed to meet up earlier today to eat and hang out, and while youngja showed up, the other female did not. she had waited at the designated place right on time and after waiting almost an hour, she decided to call her up. their phone call did not go well, youngja was already angry that she had wasted an hour of her time waiting on haneul instead of doing something productive like studying for her classes. she honestly didn’t even know why haneul decided to come by to her apartment now when it’s been hours. “unless you’ve come with food and a long written out apology, then don’t come in here and act like a victim.”

      she regrets showing up late. truthfully, she had spent most of the day on her laptop. avoiding every text and phone call from those who dealt with her daily. when she touches her laptop, she blocks everything out. focuses on the job at hand. her fingers moving faster and faster with each key she presses. she focuses on hacking. a terrible hobby and crime, but it's her entire life. her damn mutation does little to keep her away from it either. but that's not the point. she showed up late after promising to hang out with youngja. their heated phone call did little to make her realize how terrible it was for her to miss, but the slap she received once she showed up did. parents thought it was a good idea for her to get away for a weekend. she was still rubbing the pain away, grimacing as she avoided eye contact with the other. ❛ fucking hell. you didn't have to hit me that hard. i'm sorry, okay? i don't have either of those things.. we can order in or something — if you want. i can go get some beer. ❜  

[fri0lero]

"Or, or, third option, we could not do neither of those things."

    “I can tell you are not a big fan of sports.” The doctor mumbled as she glanced down at her sport attire that she had obviously put on for nothing. Minhee tried to stay healthy and fit not only for herself but also to be a rolemodel for her patients. Many kids were looking up to her and she wished to be a good example. “So what do you offer to do if you don’t want to do yoga or pilates?”

to: @avenesce