This is a very, very late birthday gift for avidreader008, who requested a fic that was sort of crack-ish (along the lines of All My Friends Say, but with supernatural elements). So I was thinking about how I should finish watching Rapturepalooza with Anna Kendrick, and then I decided to write this using the movie as inspiration. Clearly, I took it down a very different path than the movie, but that was the starting point. Also, just a general thing: KLAUS AND CAROLINE DO NOT DIE IN THIS STORY. In fact, there’s not even any angst. This is both cupcake and Melissa safe.
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Caroline had always known she was meant for great things… but she had never quite imagined… this.
It all started with the Rapture.
Yeah, capital R and all.
Caroline would have put her money on zombies being the end of it all. Instead, they got Pestilence down the street giving all the neighbors the plague… yeah, as in Bubonic. Thankfully, a lot of the childhood vaccinations most of the population had received meant that there was a pretty high survival rate… but in the younger generation?
Well, yeah…
But Mr. P wasn’t all that bad, once the initial shock of having a Horseman of the Apocalypse in the neighborhood passed. He even baked brownies for the PTA. Killer brownies – literally – but it wasn’t his fault that anything he touched turned contagious, and not just with the plague.
With the Big 4 on the loose, the next thing to come were the 7 deadly sins. Caroline hadn’t realized they were like, real… creatures. But apparently they were.
Once you convinced Lust that sex kitten wasn’t what you were looking for, he did hair pretty good, though.
So, for three months that was her existence – Pestilence down the street, Lust at the hair salon, and Envy was sort of a bitch that Caroline had taken to avoiding, because seriously? Good on Envy for landing Matt Donovan, but she had dumped him long before the Rapture ever began, when she realized he would never not be hung up on Elena Gilbert, and she didn’t have time to waste on a boy that… well, would probably never leave Mystic Falls.
But her semi-normality came to an end when the Anti-Christ came to town.
Klaus Mikaelson had risen from the ashes of the Rapture to claim his spot as supreme ruler of the world… or whatever. He had been born to the powerful Mikaelson family – apparently the bastard love child of an affair – and for everyone that hadn’t risen to the great heavens?
Well, he had told them that he would be their new God.
Caroline had rolled her eyes and continued to read the bible. She had been with Bonnie, who had looked at the book with raised brows.
“Research,” Caroline had said succinctly.
“Isn’t it a little late for that? I mean, we weren’t Raptured.”
“It’s never too late for knowledge, Bonnie. And apparently everything that can be expected can be found in here.”
So she had done her research, and then had approached the Rapture as she would any other problem in the way of her goal – which, of course, was to pretty much run the world. Key word being run. She didn’t want to actually rule, because being the face everyone saw meant being the scapegoat. No, Caroline would happily be the real power behind the face.
Which was why, on the day that Klaus Mikaelson came to town, Caroline actually went to the rally being held in his honor.
She wanted to roll her eyes and skip it, because this dude? Seriously dramatic. Like, even more dramatic than she was, and Caroline knew she was a drama queen. It came with the type-A personality and control freak tendencies. But Klaus Mikaelson’s theatrics put any show she would put on to shame.
But he was the supreme ruler of the world.
So Caroline needed to figure out how to get a job with him.
“A job?”
She wasn’t exactly sure how she ended up talking to Kol Mikaelson, the Anti-Christ’s younger brother. She thought that Bonnie managed it somehow.
But now that she was, she really didn’t appreciate his amusement.
“Oh, Darling, Nik hardly trusts his siblings enough for us to work with him. Non family members? Not going to happen.”
“Kol, who is this?”
And that was when Caroline Forbes met Niklaus Mikaelson in person.
Much like the first time she had seen him, she thought that he didn’t look all that evil. But then again, that was the point, wasn’t it? What was that line from that old movie… the best trick the devil ever played was to convince the world he didn’t exist? Well, Klaus did that extremely well.
In person, that was even more clear than in his various press conferences. Curly blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and charming dimples all added into a package that made Caroline lick her suddenly dry lips.
“She was just a groupie,” Kol replied dismissively, waving his hand and making Caroline narrow her eyes. Before she thought her actions through fully, she dug her three inch heel into Kol’s foot, and he cursed loudly, making Caroline smile in satisfaction. Nothing caused pain quite like a heel to the foot.
“I’m Caroline Forbes,” she said, stepping smoothly around a still cursing Kol, who was hopping in place, clutching his foot. His balance was actually kind of impressive. Too bad his personality obviously sucked. “And I would like to apply for a job.”
“A job?” Klaus accepted her hand, but instead of shaking it, he raised it to his lips and kissed her knuckles with a sort of old fashion charm that had Caroline scowling and pulling her hand back quickly. The action made his dimples deepen.
He was smooth.
Caroline was always suspicious of smooth.
Stefan had been smooth, and then he had been subtly guiding Caroline toward the future of his choice – a white picket fence and 2.5 kids that Caroline had never wanted – before he had been Raptured and Caroline had realized what a close miss she’d had.
“Yes. You will see on my resume that I have a lot of experience in planning community events. I realize the very best I can expect is a lower intern position, but if you hire me you won’t regret-”
“I need a personal assistant. Can you start now?”
“-it…” she blinked, because she could have just sworn he said – “Uh… can you repeat that last thing?”
“A personal assistant, Miss Forbes. You will be in charge of all my appointments, my schedule. When and where I appear will all be decided by you.”
Basically, she was being offered just one step off of her ultimate dream... but….
“What’s the catch?” she asked suspiciously.
“Nothing, Miss Forbes,” Klaus replied, offering her his arm, even as Kol blustered indignantly at him – so much for Klaus only trusting family – and Caroline hesitantly curled hers through it. “Don’t you trust me?”
“You’re the Anti-Christ,” Caroline pointed out pragmatically, and Kol’s eyes widened in fear. But Klaus just laughed and inclined his head.
“Very true… but that doesn’t mean I have to be untrustworthy.”
Caroline was pretty sure it meant exactly that… but something in his blue eyes, in that charming smile, made her want to trust him. A little voice whispered that he couldn’t be all that bad, and it wasn’t like she had been Raptured. This was her reality, and he was her way to the top.
Yeah, looking back, that was probably the moment when she should have run away and given up on dreams of running the world.
Instead, she accepted the job.
“You know, Nik will only keep you around until he’s gotten over his fancy for you.”
That was what Klaus’ sister, Rebekah, told her when they first met. About as polite as Kol, who still liked to glare at her whenever they were in the same room, her mere presence made Caroline roll her eyes. She wasn’t sure what role the other blonde was supposed to play in Klaus’ empire, but she seemed to have decided to ignore in favor of needling Caroline.
“I wasn’t aware that Mr. Mikaelson fancied me,” Caroline replied, using all of her Miss Mystic training to infuse her voice with just the right amount of disdain while keeping it classy. Her words were a lie of course – even Sloth, whom hung around Klaus’ compound in a near state of unconsciousness when he wasn’t shooting back espresso for his five minute pick-me-ups – had to notice Klaus’ fancy. It started with a bracelet. Then there was the beautiful blue dress. And then the picture, drawn to minute detail, her with a pencil stuck in her hair, typing dutifully at her computer.
It was pretty clear that Klaus was trying to buy her affection… but the only gift she hadn’t returned was the picture.
But the bracelet and dress still wound up in her dresser and jewelry box. She rolled her eyes, but really, she was way, way too busy keeping Klaus’ schedule, and keeping him on his freaking schedule, to worry about the gifts.
Because Klaus was seriously tough to keep on track.
Oh, when he thought something was important, he was right there exactly on time. But the problem was that Klaus viewed very little as actually important, not unless it lead to instant gratification. Or led to her blushing. He seemed more than eager to come to his headquarters every day and spend most of his time asking her for inconsequential things and using any excuse to touch her.
It was enough to drive her mad.
It was also a little…
Okay, so her boss was seriously hot, not that Caroline would ever tell him that because his ego so did not need the inflation, but there was just…
And okay, she needed to stop thinking about Klaus, and his wicked little smirk, and his dimples. And the way he called her love in that voice that made her bite her lip and concentrate extra hard on whatever it was she was pretending to work on.
“Are you paying attention to me, Caroline?”
Caroline blinked and looked up at Rebekah, looming over her. The other girl huffed and crossed her arms.
“Nik refuses to go to this event, even though I need him to.”
“Fine, I’ll put it in his calendar,” Caroline replied with rolled eyes. Anything to get Rebekah to go away.
“Listen to me, Caroline, he refuses.”
That made Caroline bite her lip, because when Klaus refused to do something… well, he simply wouldn’t do it.
“Then I don’t think I can do anything, Rebekah. I’m on his payroll. Not the other way around.”
That was when Rebekah sat in the chair across from her desk, rested her chin her palm, and gave her a look that wasn’t at all bitchy… which meant Caroline wasn’t going to like what came next.
“If you come, he’ll come too. He won’t be able to help himself. After all, he-”
“Fancies me,” Caroline finished with rolled eyes. “So you say. A lot. I’m not going.”
“Please.”
“Nope.”
“I will owe you a favor.”
That made Caroline pause, and because she paused, Rebekah gave a victorious smirk that made Caroline’s nails dig into her palms in frustration. When had Klaus’ sister figured out Caroline’s weakness for people owing her?
Owing her meant that she would have power over Rebekah… and power over the Anti-Christ’s sister? Nothing to turn your nose up at.
She knew it was a bad idea, but she agreed.
And when Klaus’ limo was parked out front when she left her house, she was utterly unsurprised, dressed in the blue dress and bracelet he had given her.
“Love,” Klaus greeted, climbing out of the limo and offering her a hand.
“Typically, it’s polite to ask a girl if she wants a ride, rather than just assuming,” Caroline pointed out, but she allowed him to help her into the limo. She smoothed her dress as she sat down on the seat and waited for him to take the spot across from him.
Instead, he climbed in and sat next to her, leg flush against hers.
“What are you doing, Klaus?” she asked, shifting away slightly.
He moved with her.
“We both know you’re not a foolish woman, Caroline. You know exactly what I’m doing.”
She licked her lips, and shrugged, trying to look disinterested, but he ran a finger down her neck and made her shiver.
“Well, I suppose we can talk about that more later.”
His words shocked her, but when she opened her mouth to say something particularly scathing, she had to bite back the words. Because he was smirking, which meant he was needling her on purpose.
She hated when he needled her on purpose. It made her speak before thinking.
“So what exactly is this event?” he asked, resting his arm on the seat behind her.
“Rebekah is dating a guy named Alexander. He’s really into nature or something. This event is raising money for the elephants.”
The look he gave her said what words never could, and Caroline shrugged her shoulders.
“It’s important to your sister.”
And would leave Rebekah in her debt… but no need to bring that up.
Klaus kept her at his side through the whole night, giving her little touches and being far more familiar than he typically was. It was enough to keep her guard up the entire evening.
“If you get any tighter, you’ll snap,” he murmured in her ear at one point. “Perhaps I can help… loosen you up.”
And just like it was meant to – because that was his seduction voice – his words had her imagining all the ways he could help her loosen, which had the exact opposite effect.
When the evening finally ended, Caroline was about as tight as it was possible to be, so she made sure there was some distance between her and Klaus as she walked towards the limo.
That’s when the skies decided to open.
“You have to be kidding me!” she shrieked, looking at her hands and dress, now both stained with red. She whirled around to Klaus, who had still been beneath the cover of the building when the freaking blood started to fall. “You have got to be kidding me!”
“I don’t control this,” Klaus argued.
“You’re the Anti-Christ!” she shrieked angrily. “Figure it out!”
She walked the four blocks home that night, Klaus wisely deciding to let her. Even War and her people that would typically love to go after a woman alone were wise enough to stay clear of her.
Or maybe it was the bloody rain that kept falling even after she’d made it home and washed herself clean.
And the worst part of it all?
It had done absolutely zero to curb the lust that he’d managed to arouse in her just by being his own annoying self.
Needless to say, she was still angry when she got to work the following Monday.
Although, thanks to her rabbit, she was decidedly less aroused.
“You don’t say anything,” she said to Klaus when he poked his head out of his office. “Not a word.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so angry at me. It’s all rather out of my power.”
“Because you’re the Anti-Christ!” she shouted whirling on him. “Because all of this was to create some twisted kingdom for you, and now we have to live in it – and you don’t care! You spend your time flirting with me instead of ruling the world and so everything is falling into a giant mess!”
Klaus blinked at her for a moment.
“I let you run the world,” he said at last. “And you do a rather spectacular job. Even Finn says so, and you know that Finn never approves of anything I do. He was quite put out, that he wasn’t raptured.”
“What?” she asked, confusion making her anger calm to a simmer.
“Finn. I’ve never understood why he was so upset about it. After all, had he gone, he would have lost Sage, but-”
“Not Finn, Klaus,” she growled. “The thing about letting me run the world.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” he asked taking a step closer to her. “To run the world? Admittedly, I’m still learning exactly how to use these… reading abilities, but I’m quite sure that’s what you wanted.”
“I…”
“Elijah has told me that my efforts to court you might not be what you expected, but I’ve always rather liked the idea of a large gesture.”
“I thought the dress and bracelet were your big gestures…”
Klaus waved that away carelessly.
“Baubles, because anyone that runs the world should dress the part. I’ll admit I contemplated offering you a place as my queen, but that isn’t what you wanted. To run, not to rule. So I put you in the position where you do so.”
Caroline reached behind her, grasped her chair, and sat.
“I… okay. So you gave me what I wanted… why?”
“Don’t you know?” he asked, lips curving into that smirk of his. He leaned down, so his lips were brushing hers. “It’s because I fancy you.”
“You don’t give someone the reigns to the world because you fancy them.”
“You do if you’re the Anti-Christ.”
And then their lips were no longer brushing. Instead he claimed hers in a fiery kiss. She clutched his hair, let him pull her up and lift her onto her desk, so he could get the perfect angle.
“I’m not interested in being a queen,” she said between kisses. “You were so right about that.”
“Of course I was. I’m the Anti-Christ.”
“And you’ll do something about the creepy rain. That’s not happening again.”
He ran his lips down her neck, and she tilted her head to give him a better angle to all the sensitive places.
“Of course,” he murmured against her skin. “It was rather unhygienic anyway. Rain from the sky? Foolishness.”
“And we’re going to date,” with those words, she gently pushed him away. He let her move him, looking at her with an expression that was utterly unimpressed.
“Dating?” he asked. “Isn’t that a little… juvenile.”
“No, it’s normal,” she replied primly. “And I’m a lady. And you have a nine o’clock that you can’t miss. With Finn.”
He growled and reached for her, but she pushed her chair out of his reach.
“What’s the point in coming to an agreement if I don’t get to touch you?” he demanded crossly, and Caroline had to bite back a chuckle.
“The anticipation,” she informed him. “Plus, I’m too busy for you to get handsy with right now. I have a world to run.”
“You’re rather easy to please.”
“Seriously?” she looked at him incredulously. “You have to let me run the world… and I’m easy to please That’s crazy.”
“That life after the Rapture. If you don’t schedule us some time, Caroline, I’ll break your precious schedule.”
She rolled her eyes, but when he disappeared for his meeting with Finn, she opened the schedule and typed in a meeting.
They’d do lunch.
She sent him the invite, along with a quick message – it’s a date.
Caroline had always known she would run the world. Maybe she hadn’t thought it would happen quite like this… but hey, as long as she avoided Mr. P’s brownies, life after the end of the world wasn’t that bad.
After all, it meant she got to meet the Anti-Christ… and a girl could do a lot worse than being the voice running the world through whispers in his ear.
Hi! Didn't Klaus look incredibly hot in last night's episode?
YESSSS I think the best he's ever looked!!! His long hair is back they gave him clothes that he just looks soooooo goooood in!!!! I wish Caroline could see his hotness in this episode haha. (♥‿♥)
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Five facts about me…
1) I am an agronomist
2) I like to write (because none of you knew that, right?)
3) I am a freaking amazing baker. I totally missed my calling there. I made a reece’s cheesecake browning on the weekend, and it was like there was a party in my mouth but no one else was invited because I didn’t want to share the brownie (only I’m nicer than that and did share the brownie)
4) I grew up on a farm - it’s a mixed grain and pure bred hereford operation.
5) I turn into a total nerd when I talk agronomy stuff. I seriously get so excited over it, and then I’ll realize that whoever I’m talking to has glazed over for like five minutes because they really don’t care. Unless it’s another agronomist. Then they nerd out with me.
