#awesome100

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Commence Gagging!: By Josh Jordan

The Misadventures of Weston the Cyborg

Chapter Two: Commence Gagging!

Continued from Chapter One: Glomp

Weston pinned his communications chip inside his throat with a couple of well-placed nanobot clots. However, the clots weren't perfect-yet-and couldn't bring the chip back up his throat. Much as he was fond of his Inferior friend Greg, Weston was not sure whether or not his Termination mode would be stoppable if he lost that chip.

Weston balked. "You do realize that my body's internal workings aren't so malleable anymore, right? No, I think it'd be better if I did it." He wheezed, the chip and the clots causing him breathing trouble. If only he'd had some mechanical lungs implanted too, he'd have no problem. Perhaps he'd do that during his next upgrade.

Weston tried to dig the chip out of his throat, using the extensions in his fingers to grope farther down than any mere Inferior could. Alas, it was pointless: the chip was lodged too far down.

Greg, who had been watching Weston stick fingers down his throat, got behind Weston and, without hesitation or permission, pumped Weston's chest.

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Challenge of the Week: by Gibbons

Is humanity worth saving? This is the question I have been asking myself for the past few weeks. I have come to one unmistakable conclusion. NO! Humanity deserves whatever comes its way. We, including you and me, have not done the best job at being loving, or even nice to each other. I realize that you might be sitting there saying “I am a great human being. I am nice, and loving.” Well I am talking about humanity, which includes all of us, and if you watch the news or just pay attention next time you are in a crowd, we in general are not doing too good.

So agree with me or not, you probably want to know why I am using this as the Challenge of The Week. Well it is simple: I am still going to do every thing in my power to help this world. In the end none of us truly deserve anything, which is why all of use deserve some help.

Just keep that in mind.

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Glomp: by Josh Jordan

Starting with this episode of Awesome 100, I will be occasionally detailing the exploits of a young man from the future. My only rule is that I must be tired while I write, so as to make things just that much wackier. Enjoy.

The Misadventures of Weston the Cyborg

Chapter One: Glomp

Weston was a quiet fellow who liked to walk the streets for pleasure. You know how it is, sometimes those human instincts for nostalgia just overtake the improvements we've made, but we're working on that. It won't be a problem soon, but for now, poor Weston likes to take walks and call up his lady friend, the superb new B4692 model I'll call "Victoria" from now on.

It was on one such walk that Weston experienced an incredible conundrum. As usual, his trouble originated in a young Inferior named Greg. Please try not to be too unkind to Greg, as his weakling mind simply isn't capable of the good sense programmed into a more modern brain.

Weston had just finished his daily call to Victoria when he was ambushed by the imbecile little monkey-spawn we like to call Greg, who tackled him from behind a corner.

Weston, as any rational being would do, simply brushed himself off and stood up, while his Inferior friend laughed like a lunatic and rolled on the sidewalk.

"I still don't see why you meat creatures think this so amusing," Weston told the monkey child, although the half of his face that was still human grinned despite his best efforts to stop it.

Greg kept laughing. "So you do still feel fear. I saw that look on your face!"

Weston huffed, and gave in to the human urge to swallow. He felt something slide down his throat. He analyzed the anomaly, and his human hand flew to his forehead while his eyes winced.

Greg jeered. "Now what? Calculating our math homework in facepalms?"

Weston refused the urge to show anger. "Shut up, you twerp. I think you made me inhale my cell phone chip."

Greg laughed even louder.

"Quit it! That hardware also served as my wallet! If I go broke, you're the one who'll regret it."

To Be Continued…

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In life its what on the inside that counts for you. But for other humans its whats on the outside that matters.

Skyler Mullins

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Bohemian Rhapsody: By Camron Cluff

We need to have a serious discussion about “Bohemian Rhapsody,” because it is way overrated.

Which is weird. When something is overrated, it means it is getting more praise than it deserves, but usually that’s for things that don’t deserve praise. But “Bohemian Rhapsody” is actually a really good song; it deserves a lot of praise. So the fact that it’s overrated is really scary.

I don’t know how it happened, but “Bohemian Rhapsody” has sort of become the song that is held up as the pinnacle of good songwriting. The Internet loves it, which basically guarantees its overrated-ness.

Have you ever seen one of these pictures?

It’s not always Beyonce, it could be any song that was released in the last ten years or so. That’s what the Internet thinks of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” If another song does not hold up to its greatness, it apparently sucks. This is an incorrect approach to bring to current music, for many reasons.

First, it compares the chorus of the current song to the verses of Bohemian Rhapsody. That’s stupid. In every song, the chorus is always less complex than the verses. That’s how music has been structured for hundreds of years. It’s like going

Queen: We will we will rock you. We will we will rock you.

Chuck Berry: Deep down in Louisiana, close to New Orleans, way back in the woods among the evergreens, there stood a log cabin made of earth and wood, where lived a country boy named Johnny B. Goode.

and using that to try to prove that Chuck Berry is a better musician than Queen. Also notice that they leave out the weird middle section of “Bohemian Rhapsody” where Freddie Mercury just starts flat-out making up words and putting them next to foreign words in random order. If you’re going to compare the lyrics of two songs, compare all the lyrics.

Second, “Bohemian Rhapsody” is an incredibly unique song. Comparing it to any other song is stupid, because there is no other song like it. If you were to compare a more traditionally written Queen song, like say “Somebody to Love,” this would make more sense.

Lastly, and most importantly, music is not about the lyrics. Music is about the lyrics. There are songs vastly superior to “Bohemian Rhapsody” that have absolutely no lyrics. You could the best written passages of Shakespeare and set it to music, but if the music sucks, the whole song sucks. That’s why songs like “Stayin’ Alive,” “Walk This Way,” and “Hound Dog” are as timeless as “Bohemian Rhapsody.” It’s just the way music is, and to judge other songs by any other standard than this is just plain wrong.

Jeez, I’ve been doing a lot of ranting lately.

P.S. As good as “Bohemian Rhapsody” is, there are even better Queen songs that you could use to compare to other songs: “We Will Rock You,” “We Are the Champions,” “Somebody to Love,” and “Tie Your Mother Down, for example. Use those songs instead, Internet.

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Random Movie Review: by Harris Smith

The random movie is called The In touchables. It's a French film so there will be some reading. The title gets its name from the characters in the story. One character is a handicapped rich man named Philippe and his black care taker Driss. Phillppe is considered very fragile, so many people do not touch him. Driss lives and is from the projects so his people are not touched by society because of the poverty and crime that Driss lives in. Both are not touched by society. A summary by IMBD.com says it's about how Philippe, who become a quadriplegic after paragliding accident, hires a young man from the projects to be his caretaker. But it's a fun story, with music from Earth Wind and Fire, car chases, and plenty of funny moments. Please go see it! Next Week we will look into the Film...Brazil.

Trailer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsPHXVnt27g

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Challenge of the Week: By Gibbons

Fine. If you are going to keep reading I am going to go with what I just said. You can think for yourself, and you should. It is really simple. Step one: think of something you believe; step two: ask yourself this: “do you agree, why do you believe what you believe?” Repeat steps one and two until you have questioned everything. Well I am going to leave you to that; it will take, about the rest of your life. Good luck. “Thanking is something you do when you're grateful. Thinking is the process of coming up with thoughts.” -Josh Jordan

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Finally, this He who makes no mistakes lives an empty life. He who doesn't learn from them leads less than that.

Skyler Mullins