Long post. tl;dr for like multiple personal mental health reasons I'm not gonna be here for a while. My Discord: minniusmaximus. My sfw blog: @braverybystarlight. Love y'all forreal and see you around (or not)
Anyways, I'm going to take a hiatus. I keep stressing out and feeling left behind when everyone's doin' a new thing and its probably a sign I need to get out more or at the very least do other things that aren't just chasing everyone else creatively.
I feel like I rely waaaay too much on public feedback just to do things I like and when I don't get any it puts me in a bad mood and makes me feel like nothing I do matters which sucks even if it's no one's fault and its my rejection sensitive dysphoria making any lack of reaction feel like a massive negative reaction.
There's also the matter of my job instability that's been making my life incredibly stressful and making it difficult to put too much thought and effort behind rp at the moment.
My current job sucks, I'm only like a week into the training stages and its putting massive drains on my mentals and my ability to be around in any capacity beyond just posting ooc posts. Like I've been upset at not getting much engagement but I don't think I've sent a single ask that wasn't a kind of jokey or short low investment thing in months.
I'm finally getting good news in that department though if you hadn't heard already so maybe this won't be a super long hiatus but I try not to make promises on that front lol.
Lastly (and you prolly knew this was coming) there's just the matter of Awoo. I can't stand her y'all, she pretended to be my friend for years, probably my longest one in fact and didn't even have the decency give me a reason before she blocked me and it's caused me to reflect on just how awful she's been to me in the last few years especially.
She's just like a bad person and ngl it bothers me that it feels like I'm mostly the only one that cares about how I was treated. And like I understand people might know her longer or not particularly know me well but that's just how I feel.
And maybe it makes me sound obsessed to be this mad over internet friendship but it's very hard to get over when she's so entrenched in my friend group. She can't even civilly exist in the same space as me she hates me so much and that's mad upsetting to think about. So idk, maybe I just need space from here in general and to focus on non lewd projects for a while until I can fully process that to move on from it.
In any case If I come back in like 2 weeks I'll see you soon lol, if I don't come back for a few months to a year I'll see you later, and if I never come back again and y'all don't follow me to Discord or my other projects then I'll miss each and every one of you.