#axios!!

[enigmaticwhispers]

I don't know why I haven't felt much concern about joining the military.  Some of my friends have expressed concerned about me and my well-being when I told them about it or when they heard about it.  I think it might be their perceptions or beliefs about the military and the life, and also fear of violence and war, which I can also understand too.  I mean, I understand that I will be put in situations where harm might befall me.  And military life isn't for everyone.  The mentality is different.

I do understand the probable dangers and risks.  However, I see much more gains and benefits for me.  But, I can't shy away from something just because it looks dangerous.  I'm not a hero, but I will try to save someone if I can, even if it's dangerous.  I will sacrifice myself, not to be remembered.  But, because someone needed help.  If someone was in trouble, the last thing I'd think about is how much fame and recognition I'll get from the deed.  I've always wanted to avoid such celebrity status.  I'm a very private person.  I have an open door policy, but also a privacy room.

It's been almost a year and a half since joining the Navy.  I don't know where I am right now.  This post was scheduled in September 2013.  But I hope my readers have been reading these.  If at least one person is, that's fine.  One person is all I need.

[enigmaticwhispers]

I want to exist beyond the scope of normal understanding.  I think that's how great people of now and before existed.  Their wisdom was far ahead of anything of their time.  That's why most of them were chastised, hated, exiled, marginalized, etc during their mortal existence.  But now, we celebrate their words and cause.  They exist beyond mere mortality.  They become an idea.  An idea that we, in the present and future, will always be able to fall back upon.  To take it into our very being and use it to guide us in our lives.

It's a sad existence, really.  If you're against the popular opinion/status quo/generally accepted view, you get the worst treatment.  They suffered through it all when they should have been celebrated.  We celebrate them now, but man, if only their lives could have been easier.  The sad thing is it can take decades, even centuries for progress to show real change and results.  How can we be satisfied with just planning for our lifetime?  How selfish can we be?  We should be planning for 50 years from now, 100 years from now.  We should be focusing on making our species much better than it is now.  Not for us, but for the grand scheme of things.  The bigger picture.  People are too busy looking at the mirror to look at what's around and beyond the mirror.  Great people don't look at how we are, but look at how we can be.

When can I attain such courage and commitment?  To swim against the current.  To not break down, give up, or let naysayers prevent me from what I believe needs to be done.  To face violence, hate, and close-mindedness with honor, respect, and classiness.  When they tell you that you can't, and you tell them "I can and I will."

I don't think I will ever reach that level or come close to it.  But I will reach for it, even if I never make it.  In the mob, you're safe but you are trapped and go wherever the mob goes.  You can't decide your own destiny.  You never go against the mob for fear of the mob.  I don't want to live in fear.  I want to live the way I want.  I want to exist beyond the crowd, where you can do anything.  Where everything is possible, if you're worthy. 

And you are worthy.  When the mob is moving in one direction, all you have to do is take that first act of courage.  Take that first step to the side and let them go pass you.  Then you'll have the freedom to move and act however you please.  Then you will exist beyond the scope of normal understanding.