#ayelaisha

[ayelaisha]

Life goals

So I have these life goals where I need to be rich, 'cause I like having and doing expensive shits.

Life goal#1:

Get a high-paying job.

Life goal#2:

Travel around Europe. This one is the most expensive.

Life goal#3:

Be the single aunt who travels a lot and gives help to those who are less fortunate.

Life goal#4:

Give my Mama and Papa a nice home to stay.

Life goal#5:

Be updated with phones. Like, everytime a good phone comes out, I will buy it. Haha. (I'm a little phone geek)

Life goal#6:

Have my very own bookstore with milktea and coffee shop. <3 Omg

Life goal#7:

I will be living alone in a new and my own house with an awesome interior design and walk naked around. (Lol, I know this is weird, but this stuff sounds too good not to experience)

Life goal#8:

Adopt a cute white kid. (Don't blame me, they are so damn cute and adorable than any other race! Sounds racist. lol)

Life goal#9:

Be one of the hottest living creature in my place. (Even though I am small. lol)

Life goal#10:

Make people regret that they left me, ignored me and misjudged my abilities. Those fuckers.

Optional goal #1

Marry a blue/green/grey-eyed, gorgeous, tall man. Preferrably, *insert nationality here*. lol if God will provide me this man, then okay. Hahahaha!

One of precious goal:

I will build a foundation where old people who live in the streets be in a shelter and be provided with food, clothes and some stuff that they need. :( That is like, my vow to God, that if ever I have enough money to do that, I will definitely help homeless old people.

For now, do the shits you gotta do, Yna. :) In order to be a succcessful person. Love yourself. And please, work on your body. You're getting fat. Be a hardworking ass.

[ayelaisha]

I was scared of school. It's not actually about the school, it's the people within it. I was so scared to be judged, because I don't do really well on my acads, since I am the lord of procrastination and lethargy (You can have that title, I don't want it anymore.) I don't effin' try hard enough to get good grades and stuff. Last semester, I was really disappointed with my grades and was sad not to be able to reach the quota grade on my major subject, so I shifted course. I transferred to Business Administration- Financial Management. And I told myself that I will do my best this time. I made rules for myself so I wouldn't do the same mistakes.

Rule #1:

Do all the shits you need to do before its due.

Rule #2:

Pass every homework that needs to be submitted.

Rule #3:

Do a bit of an advanced reading on your subjects.

Rule #4:

Don't be so fucking scared of your professors. They are just human, so are you. They can humiliate you in your classroom, but what's important is they never hurt you physically.

Rule #5:

If a professor humiliates you because you didn't give the right answer in a recitation, just deal with it. It will pass, and you will be the only person to remember what happened, so just forget it. If you can't answer, then just fucking smile and wait 'til they ask you to sit down. No harm done. 

Rule #6:

Do not skip class. Ever again. Remember what happened because of your negligence last semester.

Rule #7:

If you can do it alone, fucking do it alone. If you can go alone, go alone. You won't improve unless you do things by yourself.

Rule #8: From now on, you are optimistic and determined to reach your life goals.

Rule #9:

You can procrastinate, but know your limits. Always. Always know your limits.

Rule #10:

MANGA READING AND ANIME WATCHING ARE FORBIDDEN DURING WEEKDAYS. FUCKING GET YOURSELF TOGETHER! THINK OF MIZUTANI SHIZUKU AND HARU YOSHIDA AS YOUR INSPIRATION!!

[ayelaisha]

Cosmania 2014 - Violet

Okay, so I was at SMX for Cosmania. Didn’t cosplay and stuff. Day 2 ‘yun. And guess what? Super daming tao. Like, gah! Panay siksikan everywhere. And so, when I got in, I saw really cute guy. No, he wasn’t cosplaying. He came there as a normal person din yata? Lol. Idk. He was wearing a violet shirt with a black jacket with hood on top, may dalang DSLR(?) and naka-Jansport na violet. I was like, ’“Omygods, Eros, Aphrodite, Fortuna! Why do such person exist? He’s really handsome. He looks like he’s a character from the Shoujo mangas I am reading!” I saw him for like five times! First, when he was at a corner of the booths, second, he was walking with a friend, third, when he was sitting in front of a booth, taking pictures. Tinawag ko si Clark nun, tinuro ko siya. Sabi ni Clark, hingiin niya yung name. Kaso, hindi ko kaya. :( I regret it! Super! Wala akong info kahit isa about him. And yea, the third one was really embarrassing. Yung pinakadulo ng headset ko, naalis sa phone ko, eh pinasok ko yun sa damit ko. So nakalawit siya, like grabe ang sagwa. I saw him looked at me, and he looked down at that part. And I had no idea it was showing, yung dulo ng headset. Shiz. *blushes; covers my face* Then fourth, we bumped while Clark and I were walking. I tried na mag-touch yung braso namin. Baka sakaling tumingin siya. But he didn’t even look at his arms. *sighs* And he was with a friend, isa lang yata? Fifth, the last one. Hay. He was back at the corner where I first saw him. He wore a blue wig. Lol. Tetsuya? Idk. Lol. Then while I was walking through that corner to get out there, he kinda, uhm paano ba, nilalapit niya yung dibdib niya saakin, na-stuck kasi ako sa part na yun. Daming tao eh. I wish I did something that moment. Hay. Anyway, I’m still on search. If anyone could help me know him, please. I am so desperate. I just think he’s really interesting. Kamukha niya talaga sina Kazehaya, blabla at blabla. Magfafangirl lang ako sa kaniya. :( I can’t take him off my head, badtrip! Seriously! This is the first time I experienced this kind of thing. I like a total stranger. I don’t even have a clue about him. Weird, ain’t it? :( Ugh. I couldn’t blurt this out to my friends, 'cause they may get annoyed. And think that I’m flirtatious. Gahh. I wish we’ll meet again someday. Please, God. :(

[ayelaisha]

Mga natutunan ko this 2013:

Sa studies:

Ibigay lahat ng best. Nasa huli ang pagsisisi.

Kapag nasa school, dapat pati yung utak nasa school.

'Wag masyadong tamad.

'Wag agad gigive up.

Kapag nahihirapan, always seek help.

Sa friends:

Hindi lahat ng makakasalamuha mo, eh friend mo na agad.

Yung mga totoong kaibigan mo, sila yung laging nandyan para sa'yo. Or kapag sila naman yung may problema, ikaw naman ang aagapay sa kanila.

Dapat pangalagaan yung samahan niyo.

Dapat keep in touch sa isa't isa. Update updates.

Hindi lahat ng kaibigan mo, kaibigan ka talaga.

'Wag masyadong magtitiwala.

Sa lovelife:

Kapag mahal ka ng isang tao, hinding hindi ka niya iiwan anuman ang mangyari, kahit mahirapan siya.

Teenage years, karamihan ng nagrerelasyon sa ganyang edad, hindi seryoso o walang balak na ituloy yan sa altar.

Tama lang na 'wag mo ibigay ang lahat mo sa isang tao, kahit mahal mo pa siya. Kasi ikaw din ang mawawalan sa huli.

Kapag nagmamahal, laging sasamahan ng utak.

'Wag masyadong iprioritize yung feelings mo. 

Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, sa kaniya ka lang makikinig at hindi sa iba. Dahil ang relasyon, dalawang tao lang ang meron diyan hindi kasama diyan yung pamilya mo, angkan mo o mga kaibigan mo. Kayong dalawa yung nagmamahalan, bakit ka makikinig sa iba?

'Wag pipili ng taong hindi ka komportable sa kaniya.

Dapat yung mga ginagawa mo, laging nasa tama, para wala sa'yo ang sisi.

'Wag maging mababaw.

Maging understanding lagi sa partner mo. Tandaan mo na hindi lang sayo umiikot ang mundo niya. 

Maging inspirasyon kayo sa isa't isa.

Tulungan niyo yung isa't isa na maging better person.

Dapat may blessing ng parents.

Kung magpapaligaw ka, doon ka sa bahay magpaligaw.

Kung mahal ka ng tao, hinding hindi ka bibitawan niyan.

Babae ka, alamin mo yung mga dapat at hindi mo dapat gawin para sa isang tao. Ingatan ang pride.

Walang kwentang tao yung iiwanan ka niya, dahil nahihirapan lang siya. Napaka-babaw na dahilan noon 'di ba?

If he loves you, he'll accept you and never get tired of your bullshits.

Wag masyadong mag-tiwala.

Mahal ka daw niya pero iiwan ka niya. Kahunghangan yun. 'Wag paniniwalaan iyon.

Iiwan ka para magkaroon siya ng sariling time. Nagbibinata daw. Iwan mo na yan. Tag-libog yan, pota. Haha, jk.

MAG-TAPOS MUNA BAGO MAG-LOVELIFE! Nakakabaliw kasi yang fag-ebeg.

Sa buhay:

Be yourself.

Hindi lahat ng tao dapat mong pagkatiwalaan.

Kapag down ka, tatandaan mo kung sino ang natulong sa'yo para maging okay ka.

FAMILY IS ♥.

BEST FRIEND IS ♥.

Strive hard para mapabuti ka. 

Bye, 2013. Hindi lang ito yung mga natutunan ko sa'yo. (At sorry magulo isip ko ngayon. LOL) Madami pang mga lesson ang ibinigay mo sa'kin. Sa ngayon, ito pa lang ang mga natatandaan ko. And I have to leave everything to you, 2013. Kung ano ang nangyari satin, 'yun ay magiging ala-ala na lamang. I'm ready to meet you, 2014. 

[ayelaisha]

"I can only remember that it hurt. It hurt when you'd forget. It hurt when you stopped trying. It hurt how you'd easily go. But most of all, it pained me the most when I just couldn’t say no. I guess it was easier to blame timing and the universe than admit you stopped trying. Phone calls grew shorter, text messages became late replies, and date night became an obligation instead of something that we'd look forward to all week. Nothing is quite as painful as realizing that you've been giving more than what you should have because then you would have to come to terms with the fact that he never gave much at all." —To The Love That Burnt The Brightest 

[ayelaisha]

I hate waiting for that one text that never comes.

For three days, he didn't text me. Guess what I'm feeling? I feel lonely. Though I wear those smiles, I laugh, I don't post any sad status on my facebook... it may look like I am not affected, at the end of the day, it's the only thing I am thinking of. ''Why isn't he still texting me?'' Is this the punishment for not replying for hours? It's killing me inside. I bet I am really good in hiding my true feelings. I can't express what is really in my mind. 

  WOW...

  Just now. He happened to text me. 

  Damn. He's still mad. 

  What does he want? 

  I thought that we were fine. I thought everything's okay, that he already forgave me. Damn. Damn, Damn. 

    I was so wrong. Why is he still like that? I want to burst it all out, but how? I can't. I CAN'T. WHY CAN'T I?!

    In times like this, I seriously don't have any idea on what I should do. I'm too weak. I'm dumb. But there's only one thing that comes up to my head when we are like this. I want to see him! Face to face. Embrace him. Look deeply in his eyes and utter, 'I really am sorry.' If only he lived somewhere near me. If only we could see each other easily, I would do that! Unfortunately, I'm broke and I don't have time and the freedom to go anywhere I want. I'm feeling all worthless.  

[ayelaisha]

My First Post on Tumblr.

Hahahahahahaha! As in LOL. First post ko dito sa tumblr is super nonsense. 

"Justin Bieber"

iLySmJBeebz

Gah, so jeje. Childhood days. LOL. 

So far 82 pages na ang napoposts ko. LOL. Share

[ayelaisha]

A day before the first day... (COLLEGE)

June 2, 2013 ngayon. Alam niyo ba yung feeling na 'di mo alam kung nauutot ka ba o natatae? Lol. Kidding. Ano kasi eh. Kabado ako. Though Imus Institute pa rin ako, eh siyempre iba pa din yun di ba? Dahil, iba na ang college sa high school. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa akin sa college. Kumusta naman yung forever tanong ko sa sarili ko na, "Kakayanin ko kaya 'yun?" Kayo ba, madalas niyo ring itinatanong 'yan sa sarili niyo? Ako, oo eh. I asked that for hundreds of times. Kahit, alam ko namang walang sasagot. May nakakainis pa dito eh. Ang gulo lang. Ang daming nagsasabi na June 10 na daw ang pasok, pero may nagsasabi din na bukas na (June 3). Dayum. Ang gulo niyo. Paki-linaw please. Hay, lalo tuloy akong kinakabahan. Kasi, baka magmukhang engot ako bukas. Mag-uuniform ako tapos wala naman palang klase tomorrow. Pero, paano kung meron? E di good! Buti na lang at maguuniform ako. Chareng. Oh, hayun lang. Share ko lang. Kabado kasi talaga ako eh.