#azazelcore

[ex-angels-anonymous]

There were more than a few times Arseni would come to my place and all it wanted to do was lay in bed or sit on my couch in my studio and either cry, or rest and sleep.

I think there was a lot of pressure on Arseni to do a lot of different things, very often in Heaven. It loved being a professor, but it also had these separate healer duties it was bound to, and when it had time off it tried to spend it with Gathon. But, as you already know, Gathon was busy pretty often by the time I came into the picture in Arseni's life.

Sometimes it would go back to its rooms, but sometimes it would come to me.

It wasn't always sexual. It actually was usually completely nonsexual - I'd make it some tea. I'd get it a blanket and set up the bong. And it would cry. I think it felt safe to do that around me because it knew I wasn't going to ask or make a big deal about it- I'd let it cry to its contentment, and then do my best to distract. It usually didn't take much more than asking it to tell me about what it was teaching in class these days- Arseni loved to lecture.

It also loved to sleep. In heaven sleep is kind of taboo- it's allowed in small quantities but ""excess"" is deemed sinful- and down in hell with me Arseni was sinning let me tell you that. I'll admit that it was pretty adorable watching it pass the fuck out and curl up while I worked on something or other in the same room.

If it were doing really bad mentally it would want to cuddle, but good luck trying to bring that up with it, because it would get all flustered and deny wanting to be anywhere near me. What it really wanted me to do was just read its mind, I guess, but I never could do that with it. Eventually it just started taking my arm and being like "Come here. Right now. Sit here. Lay down. Put your arm like this" to get what it wanted.

But if it was in tears, and clearly doing unwell, yeah okay I would try and take a little bit more of a dominant role. Give it some basic instructions to lay down and wait for me, bring it some comfort items (tea, food, extra blankets or a change of clothes, a bracelet to try on) and then lay beside it.

As bad as I know this is, I find myself kind of missing the way it would press itself against me and cling to the front of my clothing and generally seem to find solace with me. I'm really used to being treated as a threat, especially by angels, so. This was pretty crazy.

I know I was just a stand in for Gathon. Arseni never let me forget it either. Sometimes it would mess up and call me by his name. Any time I alluded to it wanting something (think "You want me to braid your hair for you?") it'd respond with some version of "I don't care about it being YOU doing it" or something along those lines. But I think I got a lot of enjoyment out of Arseni sharing space with me even so. And it did really seem to like getting its hair braided.

-Azazel

[ex-angels-anonymous]

[ex-angels-anonymous]

It's hard sometimes because fuck, man, I miss Gathon, too.

And I know it sees a little bit of Gathon in me. I know it does. I know it does because he was just so much, he rubs off on beings, and I see a little bit of Gathon in IT, and sometimes... Sometimes it's just...

Sometimes it's a late night communicator call that I pick up, half asleep, and for a moment there I get confused why that voice calling me "my lovely" isn't my old friend from college. Sometimes I catch myself using one of his arguments and I see its eyes on me like it's doing a double take. Sometimes it's the way it rolls its eyes, or how I saw it look at me when I showed up in something made of sky blue silk.

-AZ

[ex-angels-anonymous]

Arseni is currently broke right now because it didn't realize that all the money / assets it has were really going to be stuck in that evidence locker for way longer than just the two month quarantine period, and the money it did have (mostly from selling jewelry and gold and stuff like that that it brought down with it or that it was able to negotiate the release of from the evidence locker) it blew through really really quickly. There were a lot of small comforts it really wanted on Earth that it could never have in heaven, that it kind of used as a coping mechanism early on in its time down here. Namely: that gamer chair in its room is custom built, and for the most part even I don't have leather furniture that expensive in my studio because it would be excessive. It bought really expensive custom bedclothes, bolts of expensive fabric and rare dyes, it got a little into gambling, expensive hell-exclusive alcohol and drugs, sex toys, it bought rare books- kind of a mid-existence crisis.

Arseni also has fairly expensive tastes- exhibit A, Arseni likes having its nails done and wants like, jewelry quality gemstones on them, gold leaf, that kind of thing. This is something that it has wanted evidently for a very long period of time but could never do in heaven for obvious reasons- I remember when it would come down to see me in the times of Gathon it would talk about this, and I'd be like "I can do it for you, but you're going to have to take it off literally tomorrow before you go back up" and it would be sad.

But now it's in this position where it understands that it can't really get all that luxury with the capital it has - because it doesn't have any- but it CAN get services for free if it talks its way into it. It talked its way into getting into this pretty nice spa down in the deep dark because, from what I heard from Edon, it told them "well I'm pretty much an angel, you ever get practice with angelic clients this far out of the way of Pandemonium? With all these newly fallen there's sure to be someone you'll run into, some high society used-to-be who's willing to pay a lot - how about I teach you a few things, I won't even charge!" And apparently they fell for it.

And I say fell for it like I didn't fall for it too. It came to me asking if I could repair a piece of jewelry for it, I took a look, it was something that was missing gemstones. I was like I can't fix this unless you're willing to pay for the replacements, and it was like I don't have that kind of money, and I said well. Good luck to you then, not sure what you expected, I like you, angel thing, but I'm not giving you free sapphires. It sulked about it for a little while and tried to talk its way into it, and I don't know how it happened but this interaction ended with me doing a full set of gel nails with extensions (except its index, middle, and ring fingers on its dominant hand) with all the things it wanted, minus the precious stone inlays because I did actually have to draw the line somewhere.

That being said I got done with the set and then I'm sitting there like... Wait holy shit I just fucking said I wasn't doing services for free, how the fuck- but before I could even think that entire thought all the way through it was out my door.

And then I'm sitting there, half angry half impressed, half thinking about how it managed to convince me to do that, do I really just have that much of a weakness for color theory, or for Arseni? Cue up mental montage of what that gorgeous being looks like asleep in my bed after a night out, relaxed and wrapped in a bedsheet (or even better, a borrowed cloak,) cue me thinking about how I'd feel watching it unconsciously stretch out its arms, getting to see the work I did on its nails, still intact even after it got in a fight or tried to scratch someone- oh no this is a serious problem isn't it, and then it finally hits me that it was the necklace.

It put a fucking curse on the necklace and I spent like 15-20 minutes handling that thing and I didn't think to check it for curses because I trust Arseni (trustED, now,) and wouldn't expect it put some bullshit like that on a piece and then try and hand it to me.

And yeah I am upset!

- Azazel

No idea what the fuck is going on with Azazel, idk why he's upset with me I didn't even do anything!

The fuck are you talking about, cursed necklace - sure it's not the prettiest piece I own but it isn't cursed!

Wait he thinks I put a curse on it?! Because he did my nails and he thinks that it was charmed?! Bitch please! If I did go through the effort of doing all that, these nails would have sapphire inlays. Or at least opal. He did it because he wanted to and because my idea was good!

This is fucking bullshit, I'm getting blamed for something I didn't even do, for something that didn't even happen!

I guess I could try and prove that I didn't do it. Either show him a real curse, or convince him to do another service for me.

What do you mean, just have a conversation with him and show him the necklace? Why would I do that?

xoxo Arseni

[ex-angels-anonymous]

APOCRYPHAL Chapter 22: To Come Full Circle is OUT NOW. ~47 pages of trauma fueled pining, hurt/comfort, and Demon!Arseni.

And a sneak peak at Demon!Edon at the very end.

-Author

[ex-angels-anonymous]

The first time myself and Arseni smoked weed together I heavily overestimated its tolerance to the point where it greened out on my couch and I actually had to call Gathon to come pick it up the next day. It's still a little bit angry at me for this to this day (it claims that I shouldn't have let it smoke that much) even though I maintain this was entirely its own fault because it lied to me multiple times and made it seem like I would be stupid for not believing it.

I believe it was the third or maybe fourth time we ever really hung out with each other. It came down looking for a place to stay the night, I don't remember why exactly, I don't know if it ever really gave a reason. But I remember thinking to myself, damn, I was really looking forward to just sitting on the couch and smoking weed until I passed out when I got home. Now I'm going to have to deal with this bullshit.

Even though it couldn't read my mind due to my charms and everything, I think it could probably tell that this was the case because it was subtly asking me about if I knew anybody down here who could supply it with some good cannabis.

And then I was like... Okay. At least you're not going to be lame about it, it couldn't hurt to have somebody to smoke with. Sure I'll help you out, I remember how it was trying to get cannabis in heaven, it's really hard, I'll hook you up.

So I ask it like a few basic questions about its experience with cannabis, trying to get a feel for, for example, if it had never done this before and it was just interested in trying it or something. It scoffs at me. "I've been smoking for years, cannabis, tobacco, all of it, my tolerance is so high you don't even know. Just because I'm an angel doesn't mean I'm a complete and total lightweight or a newbie at everything fun."

So I'm like okay, damn. I pull out some decent stuff from a good friend of mine, I let it check it out. I remember it really struggled to open my grinder. I thought that was a little weird because it looked like it was trying to screw off the top of it and was confused when it wasn't opening. But eventually it figured it out and it managed to take a look at what was inside. And it looked super unimpressed. It was like, "do you got anything better?"

So I pull out something stronger. It looks upon this with great interest, like it's smelling good cannabis after months to a year of not having any, and approves it. I start setting up my bong. "Absolutely not. I'm not smoking out of that thing!" So I'm like okay. What do you want from me right now. This is already kind of a stressful situation for me. "The smoke is going to be too harsh in that thing. You have to do it different, I know there's a way you can do it different. And it's like, cooler."

Looking back I realize I think it might have been talking about putting ice in the neck of a bong. But at the time, I thought it was talking about a gravity bong. I don't think that it knew the difference, and honestly I wouldn't put it past Gathon to have a gravity bong that somehow incorporates ice.

Regardless. A gravity bong was set up. No ice. This was Arseni approved. Honestly it wasn't even like I didn't have the components within my direct line of sight at that point in my existence.

We're sitting on the couch. Well. I'm staying on the couch. It's insisting on kneeling on the floor next to the couch for some reason, I assume to be closer to the gravity bong but what do I know. It takes a good six to eight pretty decent hits, and huffs at me and goes, "this really isn't shit, I don't feel anything."

Okay. Damn. Fine I'll set up a dab or something, I didn't know that you were this much of a stoner, honestly I wouldn't have thought that about you. So I set that up. I'm also pretty fucked up at this point so I don't really even think I was paying attention to how fucked up Arseni was. Initially I was planning to set it up just for it, but I was actually getting kind of annoyed with it because it was making me do all the work when I really just wanted to sit there. So, cursing that latent angelic desire to be a good host, I took the first one for myself, which was only a bad thing because it demonstrated to Arseni how to do it, and honestly I don't think it knew how to do a dab before it watched me.

I also don't think it really understood the concept of dabs. Or that they are a lot stronger.

It sits there for about maybe I don't know. 10, 15 minutes, hitting that. Then it goes, " this is stupid. " Gets up. Tries to take a step. Stops in its tracks. "Ohhhhhh God..." Immediately falls back to its hands and knees.

So I'm like...???!? What. And I go down there to try and like. I don't really know help in some way I guess. And it's crying. Starting to sort of panic but it's so sedated that it's not really coming across very clearly. I'm like dude what the actual hell. You are so fucked up right now, I thought you said that you had a really high tolerance. It goes "I thought I did!!" In this tiny little voice trying not to cough. I'm sitting there like are you actually fucking kidding me right now. Its eyes are super red, it looks so stoned it's not even funny. I'm looking at this scene in front of me where it can barely hold itself up, trying to conceptualize what to even do right now because I'm also really stoned. I literally just wanted to sit by myself and smoke weed that's all I wanted to do. And now we're going to be playing take care of someone who's way too high. It goes in this tiny little voice again, "...I'm so hungry omg do you have food???'"

I told it I was absolutely not bringing anything, but if it really wanted food that bad it could go to the kitchen with me because I was also hungry and so there was kind of this like intermission. Where we both kind of stood there / leaned on the counter and attempted to cook something edible, both pretty upset with each other for different reasons, but united in one purpose somehow.

I ended up having to coach it through a panic attack, wrap it in a blanket, put on some music for it, lay it down on the couch and be like, "you better sleep." I spent the rest that night just kind of working on projects in my room and being a little bit pissed off that I wasn't alone that night. This was really early on in us knowing each other and I really didn't know what to think about it at this point. I wasn't really sure if I found it annoying / didn't want much to do with it, or I kind of liked it, or if we were friends or if I was into it or what. I didn't really understand what was going on with it at all and hadn't really totally caught on to the fact that it was defensive and acting out for reasons relating to forces beyond its control.

Even though I was pissed off in the moment though, it was really funny the next day. Especially because I ended up having to call Gathon to get it back to heaven. It was so messed up still in the morning that I was like I actually can't do this right now and I don't want it to be in any trouble for not getting back on time. So I called him and I was like, hey. Your students down here. It was trying to buy weed or something I don't know. Really got into it. Laying on my couch can't get up.

He didn't seem all that angry when he showed up, he more seemed relieved that I knew where it was and had called him about it. But Arseni told me later that apparently he actually did yell at it when they got back. Something about how it should "never buy weed on the street in hell, don't take drugs that are given to you by demons, I'm glad you have enough sense to go crash with somebody safe but seriously I'm actually going to be so upset with you if you do this again. You could have gotten so hurt. "

Only then did it hit me that he never even knew that it was me that gave it the weed in the first place. I got to hand it to it; it's not a snitch.

-AZ

I can't believe I said all that. Honestly I just really wanted him to give me the maximum amount of cannabis that he would let me have, I think at that point I maybe smoked like maybe once a month for the past 2 years. And once a month would have been a very high estimate. I had no idea what a dab was. I just thought it was the same thing as a pipe essentially. I didn't really know what a gravity bong was. And I wasn't about to ask because I didn't want him to know that I wasn't actually as experienced as I was saying I was.

And at first I didn't feel that high. I don't know why, maybe it was just the position I was in or by inexperience I just didn't notice. The second I was up though, oh my God. I felt like I was going to black out. Immediate regret. I couldn't feel the entire lower half of my body from the necks down, it just felt like tingling, I just sat on the floor and cried until I remembered that food existed, and then I was like, I need food right immediately now please give me food :3 I'm so hungry please help me.

I look back on this event with nothing but embarrassment. I know it really wasn't his fault, but I desperately wanted it to be at least be partly his fault because it's so embarrassing.

He brought this up again because I asked if I could borrow some weed. And he was like, please don't let this be a repeat of that one time.

But to be perfectly honest with you, at this point my tolerance is actually high enough that the amount that he gave me that time would have been perfect if I could have it right now. Sigh.

xoxo Arseni

[ex-angels-anonymous]

I really truly love Arseni's voice and I really can't overstate that enough.

Arseni speaks in this deep, low, calming voice that washes over you like cool water. It just radiates "trusted, benevolent authority figure" in a way I can't really describe. I can and I have easily fallen asleep listening to it speak, dictate, or lecture- while I was trying to of course, when it's not giving in to my pleading for someone to read to me to help me sleep, it's an amazingly engaging lecturer, and it is really fucking good at teaching and explaining things.

I can totally understand how it got so much pussy in heaven- considering conditions up there, as a lower angel, holy shit. Meeting Arseni, who's so game to comfort you softly and work with you, in a good mood it's patient to the point of teasing, it's good in bed, it's kinky as hell and as long as it's in the dominant role, it's pretty much down for anything that gets you off, it knows what you want because it can read your mind, and it's going to cuddle you all night long and send you out the door with RESOURCES? Probably some weed, too??? PLUS that voice?

I don't know if you can tell but me and my throne have been kind of talking a lot about how much we really need to engage with Arseni more. I love that angel, and Edon loves that angel, and I feel like we reallyyyy need to be doing more about helping it out with its rut cycles. And also just in general with other, nonsexual shit. We're trying to help it out with some of its cannon work more, we offered to clean out its room, and we were talking the other day and we have a plan to approach it and ask if it wants a massage. A good one. We're researching this shit.

...This is maybe a little bit motivated by my deep desire to hear it moan again. Arseni is not a quiet being and it moans really pretty.

Lord.

- Ezekiel

Early on in my knowing of Arseni, I considered kicking it out of my home the next time I saw it. This was because the relationship I was in before I met Arseni was a really shitty one, and I was trying to improve as a being by thinking higher of myself, trying to not let beings treat me disrespectfully and just sit there and take it, delineate my fucking space and my fucking boundaries. And I also didn't really understand Arseni's personal situation and the reasons for some of its disrespect towards me as well as I did now. And by disrespect I mean repeated insults and belittling and accusations of violence ("so you're going to hit me? Go ahead and hit me, hellbeast," that type of shit, like I was actually going to do something like that,) comparisons- early on when it would visit it would compare me to Gathon incessantly.

But I could never bring myself to do it. Because every time it showed up at the studio or my place, I would hear that voice again and I would fold. No I'm not leaving you out in the cold. No I'm not sending you back to heaven. I want you sitting pretty on my couch ranting, or venting, or lecturing. I want to hear that voice again.

-AZ

[ex-angels-anonymous]

A conversation from last year...

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BA>> ur never gonna believe who just called

AZ>> I swear to God if it's Taliel again I don't want to talk to him, I don't care how many times he asks I'm not giving him a frenum piercing for free, I don't care that he was Gathon's throne he's fucking annoying.

BA>> guess again lmao

BA>> ur close tho

AZ>> I don't want to talk to Arcsine either, to be perfectly honest with you I'm not really in the mood to hear his whole schpiel about hoof stuff.

BA>> it was Arseni

B>> it wants to defect and its asking when ur free to talk.

AZ>> You're shitting me

BA>> i swear to u I'm not lol.

AZ>> What did it say specifically.

BA>> it said "Please ask Azazel when he's free to talk, I have urgent things I must speak with him about, some of which are related to a particular incident, he will know what I'm speaking of."

AZ>> I'm free right now give it my new number.

BA>> it also said "You're so sexy Baraqiel, you're such a good DJ, I want you so bad" and then sent a nude

AZ>> I'm going to block you.

BA>> fine it also said "Don't tell Azazel I asked this, but, I heard he got fucked up really bad about 100 years ago in an attack involving Raphael and I was wondering how bad it was, like, is he okay. Did he lose limbs."

AZ>> Did you respond?!

BA>> I just told it you're fine don't worry bro. I didn't mention the eye thing or the horn thing I'm not stupid

AZ>> please just give it my new number and tell it to call me.