Azriel and his self loathing.
Is it so bad that I want to see Azriel without a mate? I mean, out of all the Bat Boys, he’s the one who hates his culture the most. Beyond the wing-clipping and such, he genuinely sees himself as anything but Illyrian. And when he remembers that he’s Illyrian, he loathes it.
Imo, Azriel doesn’t need a mate or a female. He hates himself too much to do so. He hates his culture, he hates himself, and he puts females who he sees as “purer than him” on a pedestal.
Like Elain for example, it’s very clear how in the bonus chapter of ACOSF, Azriel feels as though he shouldn’t be touching Elain.
“Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin.”
“Wrong, it was so wrong.”
Or, the biggest one:
“Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to skin, tainting her with his presence.”
These aren’t the words of someone’s who’s in hopeless love, who wants a future with someone. These are the words of a man who can’t even think past the fact that he’s worthless, damaged, and ruined. And so, he puts women like Elain at the top where he knows he can never reach them.
I think it’s precisely why he in the Chapter, it says: “Azriel said nothing. He hadn’t gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to at night.”
Oh COME ON. Is that supposed to be romantic? That he only holds lust for her because of he believes that she’s pure? All for the sake of punishing himself because he can never believe that he can have her, but the second Elain is ready. The second Elain is about to give him what they both want, it’s perfectly clear that’s all it’ll ever be.
Lust. Something based off a fantasy. Azriel being the knight and shining armor and Elain being the helpless princess.
Two things which we both know don’t entirely apply to these two characters.
Azriel hates himself, he hates the fact that he’s Illyrian, we can assume he hates his job as torturer. He hates it all. So what makes you think he can love Elain based on a fairytale?
That’s the difference between Elriel and Elucien. Lucien doesn’t put Elain on a pedestal, he wants to see of she’s worth fighting for, he wants to know if they’re right for each other. Azriel, however, assumes they can’t be together and proceeds to see Elain the way the fandom sees her.
Innocent and Pure.