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Janaina Medeiros
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Mike Driver

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Claire Keane
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@jinxzied
date night!
If Elain is so emotionally available and Azriel knows it then why did he stay away from her for a year?
It doesn't matter that Elain is a free agent, of course she is because her bond with Lucien does not prevent her from doing what she wants with whomever she wants. We as the reader can acknowledge that Elain does not have to be with anyone she doesn't want but it's not about what we as the reader recognize to be true.
What matters is how Azriel views Elain.
Why did he think it was so wrong to be kissing her?
Because in his mind she has a mate and it's not him.
Why did he stay away from her for a year?
Because he can't stand the scent of her bond with another man.
Azriel was 100% fixated on a female who he didn't think he should have though Elain never gave him any reason to think that he couldn't approach her, that he couldn't be with her, that it was forbidden for them to be together because of her bond.
The guilt Az felt in his bonus, the worthlessness he felt, it was his own doing because he actively chose to jump from obsessing over a female who has not shown him interest in centuries to a female who he felt he could never have in the first place - one with a bond and a fact that he used to hate on himself for ("My brothers got a bond with two sisters so how comes Lucien got one with the third?!").
It doesn't matter that Elain was emotionally available because he is the one who decided to feel bad about wanting her.
So yeah, my point still stands. He actively self-sabotages himself even if he makes up those reasons in his own mind because he doesn't actually want a healthy love right now, he wants to punish himself for all the bad things he thinks he does by fixating on women who he either can't have or who he can tell himself he has to stay away from because of "reasons".
Then he'll spend sleepless nights for an entire year or centuries ruminating on about how he's so unworthy and that's why he can't have who he wants rather than making healthy choices for himself and realizing his worth is not wrapped up in whether he got a bond.
Elain never asked him to avoid her, she probably could have used a friend in the last year.
Azriel chose to avoid her for himself. It wasn't because he was respecting her boundaries the way Lucien has been, and that's exactly why Sarah didn't make them mates, because he would rather hate himself than do what was best for her. He chose to avoid Elain because he believes she belongs to someone else (despite the fact that she belongs to no one), something he knew from the start yet he chose to obsess over her anyway.
That's literally the definition of self-sabotage.
Accurate moods I’ve been cycling through after being fired for a week
guys i’m genuinely so upset i’ll never be able to nut in a pretty girl. like im so sad. what do you mean i can never feel that. it looks heavenly
Writing Description Notes:
Updated 19th October 2025 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes
Dialogue Tags
Facial Expressions
Masking Emotions
Smiles/Smirks/Grins
Eye Contact/Eye Movements
Blushing
Voice/Tone
Body Language/Idle Movement
Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted
Silence
Memories
Happy/Content/Comforted
Love/Romance
Sadness/Crying/Hurt
Confidence/Determination/Hopeful
Surprised/Shocked
Guilt/Regret
Disgusted/Jealous
Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried
Anger/Rage
Laughter
Confused
Speechless/Tongue Tied
Fear/Terrified
Mental Pain
Physical Pain
Tired/Drowsy/Exhausted
Eating
Drinking
Warm/Hot
Cold/Freezing
High Lady Feyre
Now before anybody gets upset, there’s nothing wrong with Feyre as a character or concept—however, her being written in as High Lady was genuinely such a bad play.
We all know she saved Prythian, but the girl doesn’t even know how to read. She just learned to read and write and you’re going to tell me she’s supposed to be High Lady of one of the biggest territory in the Prythian?
Not only that but Feyre is only a good High Lady during times of war and I solely blame that on SJM’s inability of learning the politics she wrote in her book. Realistically, Feyre would’ve been HATED as High Lady, not only because her title was given to her on a whim but because she wouldn’t know anything diplomatic.
I would think Nesta or even ELAIN would be a better High Lady than Feyre. However, I’m not a debby downer, Feyre had potential to be a good High Lady if the books actually showed growth and foreshadowing towards her being High Lady instead of a warrior.
SJM wrote that in there purely for shock factor and left strings loose that brings in doubt towards Feyre being High Lady, then her stans get mad when you point it out.
Like no, me saying that Feyre isn’t a good High Lady doesn’t make me misogynistic, I’m genuinely just looking at the writing.
Feyre is a bad High Lady in writing, not because she didn’t do anything to earn the title, but because she’s good at fighting, she barely comprehends the politics. 
I mourn Emerie
I mourn Emerie. I truly do.
If we take a look at Emerie’s character and the half baked world that SJM has crafted, you’ll notice a lot of loose ends. The Illyrians, the CoN vs Velaris, the Wing Clipping, etc. You’ll see that there’s a big distinction between the two, not just where they are, but who they harbor.
The CoN is essentially its name. It’s supposed to be a nightmarish place where women are brutalized and men are simply weapons that eventually have to go to war because there’s no other way to be useful.
Velaris is a place of dreams and prosperity, a hidden solace that only those “worthy” get to achieve. The “Dreamers”, queer people (I believe), High Fae, etc.
Now, if you strip both down to its core, you’ll see that it becomes a conversation of “Light vs Dark”, “Good vs Bad” in some ways. It’s a horrible way to think about it but it’s what SJM set up. So, you might be asking:
“Jinxzied, how does Emerie play into all this?”
Well, she’s a bridge.
Somewhat.
Emerie is the only female Illyrian that we see go between the CoN and Velaris, she’s the only female Illyrian we meet in general, and by the narrative, female Illyrians are heavily oppressed and brutalized. Not only that, but they’re disappointed by their government who takes little lack of thought for them. Emerie is essentially in two worlds at this point, friends who she’s made and her people who are stuck in the same cycle.
She could be a voice for the other Illyrian women. A sign of the new. Her wings, despite being broken, open to take in all the young children into her embrace.
She’s a soft woman and yet she could and is a staple for so much change in a world that failed her and her people.
God, I yearn so much for it.
Emerie is the true feminist story. Or, she could be, but she’s put to the side.
This is where Gwyneth Berdara comes into play. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Gwyn but pivotal moments that could’ve been for Emerie as an Illyrian woman was given to Gwyn. For example, Gwyn becoming the first Valkyrie.
A heartwarming moment, sure, but Valkyries are Illyrian women who were wiped out. Valkyries ARE Emerie’s culture, her blood. That moment should’ve belonged to her, not just for her development, but for the impact of the readers. To see a female Illyrian whose wings were clipped becoming the first stepping stone towards a new future, I could shed a tear.
However, that’s thrown away for a “special connection” moment because Azriel and Gwyn. What? Sure, yeah thanks for that but there were so many other times to display a connection between the two. So you’re telling me that Gwyn, a character that’s mainly been introduced as Nesta’s friend, gets that victory for a scrap of a CONNECTION between her and another mmc?
Wow.
Anyway, I love the Valkyries, but I also love Emerie more and I think she had such good potential. Yet, we all know she’s a woman of color and SJM would never go that far. So, she’s probably going to end up with Mor and be like one of the Bat Boys despite her being a woman who likes to read, cook, laugh, and play in bubbles.
Thanks a lot, Sarah.
ACOTAR
I’m very conflicted about ACOTAR.
I suppose I like the plot and premise more than anything. I like the characters as well, all of them, despite the rampant toxicity that are the ships that define their character.
However, every time I find myself interacting with ACOTAR it leaves such a horrid taste in my mouth. Keep into account that I am a woman of color, black, to be specific and though I wish so hard to see past it, I can’t.
The sheer negligence of POC in SJM’s books cannot be ignored!
Though, its so easy to because her some of fans go off the rails and fly into the absolute chaos every time you try to talk about their “Lord and Savior SJM”.
Now, this isn’t saying I don’t like ACOTAR content, I do, especially the fanfictions and what people create. But it seems like the community picks up what Sarah drops behind and they make it their own and apparently, it becomes the new canon.
For example, so many characters are described as golden-brown, The Bat Boys, Emerie, Vassa, Thesan, Lucien.
Yet, when we turn around, you can see the fandom characterizing them with cultures and races that would ACTUALLY apply to them. Doing this, however, doesn’t mean that SJM is writing POC and if she was, they aren’t good. It means that you’re simply applying your headcanons to the text and making it canon.
But, let’s get into the nitty gritty of it.
These seemingly POC characters are treated like pedestals to uplift the white fmcs or even the love interests of the fmcs. This is a narrative that’s been done plenty of times in media in general, where a poc will be killed, discarded, taken advantage of, or simply be used as a placeholder, all for the sake of the white main character.
Helion is a good example of this actually. Though he isn’t used in any of those cases I mentioned, he’s one of the characters that’s specifically stated as being darker than the others. Yet, he’s also treated as an over-sexualized, promiscuous man—oh, sorry MALE—who just so happens to be in love with a white woman, the Lady of Autumn.
Tarquin was abandoned for the sake of the plot as well. Feyre had to get him to trust her and when he did, she took half of the Book of Breathings and completely abandoned him. Though, that’s not the problem, the problem is the narrative abandoned him too. He was cast aside of having any potential real plot. That’s sloppy writing overall.
Also, quick side note. Cresseida is also only seen as lustful and annoying. She’s lusts after Rhysand only for us to constantly be told that “she’s no competition against Feyre”. Both Tarquin AND Cresseida are threatened for caring about their court and wanting to keep it safe because, mind you, Feyre is supposed to be Tamlin’s wife or, at least lover. They’re worried about the safety of their Court but, when they get threatened, its “badass”. Oh, okay, whatever.
Next, the Bat Boys and the Illyrians in general.
It doesn’t surprise me that SJM made her male love interests “golden-brown”, it’s a theme with her, and it’s also a fetish. Some authors, white women to be specifically, will make their characters an ambiguous skintone and have them be a tan without giving them any hint of culture or at times, even personality.
It’s like taking the color out of People of Color and slapping it on white dry-wall. Tada, you have your perfect male main character who isn’t entirely a person of color but isn’t entirely white and oh, don’t forget, they’re completely depressed until the white female character comes in and becomes the center of their whole world!
Wow, I just love consuming the same slop over and over.
Anyway, the Bat Boys are simply tools for the white woman’s fetish. Rhysand is the seductive, charming male who would do anything for the white female main character. Cassian is the brute who has an inferiority complex but would also do anything for the white female main character. And Azriel is the blank canvas where all the qualities we want in our men go to but REMEMBER—he would also do anything for the white female main character.
See the pattern?
There’s also another pattern! They all seemingly hate their Illyrian heritage and our disconnected from it. The Illyrians are seen as brutes in this story, which is harmful in general. They’re nothing but tools of war when they need to be used and when they’re not, they’re either victims or abusers. How do you take a culture, make them ALL poc, then make them brutes, or submissive, or evil.
The Bat Boys, however, are different. They don’t have the same qualities as those other nasty brutes. No, they’re not dreamers (cue the angel’s choir). Yes, dreamers! Their mothers were hurt, or killed, or abused and so they figured hey, that’s wrong! But if all women of the CoN and the Illyrian culture, in general, are abused, then wouldn’t that mean there’s a lot more dreamers. No, there couldn’t be!
The only dreamers are the Bat Boys, love interests of white fmc, Morrigan, friend of white fmc, also Amren, another friend. And, of course, Gwyn and Emerie.
Emerie. Oh, Emerie.
The scapegoat to tell the audience, “hey, it’s okay, Rhysand isn’t a shitty High Lord and the people down there can’t change because they sorta like it!”. That’s her purpose. Outside of being Nesta’s friend, THAT is Emerie’s purpose. I mourn her character, a lot, because she has such good potential. Yet, she’s a woman of color so she cannot be devastatingly beautiful or world-shockingly powerful. She cannot have the same story as Feyre, though she would probably sport it better BECAUSE she’s an Illyrian woman.
Without making this a long-lengthy discussion, I think we all see the signs, the hints. Remember, these characters are not real! They are conduits for a writer’s mind and what the writer wants to say. If you see some oddly prejudice or bias in this series, it’s not a flux or a product of fiction.
It’s Sarah J Mass’ mind pouring from her fingers and into her work.
It is her thought process and bias, so please remember, read diversely. Put down the ACOTAR for a moment and see how vastly different other characters of color are treated in comparison.
The Politics of the Night Court
Most of this talk is going to be about the treatment of Illyrian women in the Night Court, the lack of agency, the hypocrisy, and the lack of enforcement on part of the Inner Circle.
Let’s all use our heads and bash them together to try and get through understanding the politics in ACOTAR, yay! Acotar genuinely has THEE most shit politics in any book I’ve ever read, I’m not even joking.
There are so many loose ends to be tied up, starting with the wing-clipping in Illyria and Hewn City. I don’t understand how Rhysand is “The most Powerful High Lord” and deigned such a feminist by the fandom, but the brutalization of Illyrian (brown) women continues. Yes, Rhysand passed a law banning it, but there’s no one to enforce it.
Cassian holds no true weight compared to Rhysand. He’s a General, he can only command his troops and his “punishments” are little to nothing in comparison to Rhysand going down there and enforcing the law. A Prison, public punishment, SOMETHING.
Everyone says Rhysand’s morally gray but they’re scared of him being morally gray.
Not to mention, the High Lord meetings. Azriel, Feyre, and, I believe, Rhysand, have all attacked one of the other High Lords. Mainly Beron. But aren’t these people supposed to be allies for the Night Court, especially in Hybern? Or the constant slutshaming from the other High Lords, mainly Beron, Eris, and Tamlin.
It makes absolutely no sense how there hadn’t been a civil war between these Courts. It seems like SJM doesn’t know what to do with these meetings because her world isn’t fleshed out enough.
And in ACOMAF, when Feyre, Amren, and Rhysand steal the Book of Breathings or whatever or was called. Why is it that Tarquin hadn’t cut off an alliance or started some form of attack on the Night Court.
Also, the split courts of the NC. Court of Nightmares and Court of Dreams. The way the CoN is just counted off as its own hell and used to keep Velaris safe.
Genuinely, the politics of it all confuses me. And Idc if it’s a “romantasy”. It’s still a FANTASY with meetings about POLITICS, POLITICAL talk, and WAR. Cmon now.
Azriel and his self loathing.
Is it so bad that I want to see Azriel without a mate? I mean, out of all the Bat Boys, he’s the one who hates his culture the most. Beyond the wing-clipping and such, he genuinely sees himself as anything but Illyrian. And when he remembers that he’s Illyrian, he loathes it.
Imo, Azriel doesn’t need a mate or a female. He hates himself too much to do so. He hates his culture, he hates himself, and he puts females who he sees as “purer than him” on a pedestal.
Like Elain for example, it’s very clear how in the bonus chapter of ACOSF, Azriel feels as though he shouldn’t be touching Elain.
“Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin.”
“Wrong, it was so wrong.”
Or, the biggest one:
“Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to skin, tainting her with his presence.”
These aren’t the words of someone’s who’s in hopeless love, who wants a future with someone. These are the words of a man who can’t even think past the fact that he’s worthless, damaged, and ruined. And so, he puts women like Elain at the top where he knows he can never reach them.
I think it’s precisely why he in the Chapter, it says: “Azriel said nothing. He hadn’t gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to at night.”
Oh COME ON. Is that supposed to be romantic? That he only holds lust for her because of he believes that she’s pure? All for the sake of punishing himself because he can never believe that he can have her, but the second Elain is ready. The second Elain is about to give him what they both want, it’s perfectly clear that’s all it’ll ever be.
Lust. Something based off a fantasy. Azriel being the knight and shining armor and Elain being the helpless princess.
Two things which we both know don’t entirely apply to these two characters.
Azriel hates himself, he hates the fact that he’s Illyrian, we can assume he hates his job as torturer. He hates it all. So what makes you think he can love Elain based on a fairytale?
That’s the difference between Elriel and Elucien. Lucien doesn’t put Elain on a pedestal, he wants to see of she’s worth fighting for, he wants to know if they’re right for each other. Azriel, however, assumes they can’t be together and proceeds to see Elain the way the fandom sees her.
Innocent and Pure.
why did they turn roblox’s logo?
what happened?…
Mkay I’ve been going on a lot of rants but one more.
Why is it that SJM’s interracial couples mainly pertain to brown male-white female? I honestly don’t understand it. From this point, we’ve been introduced to plenty of women, but most of them have been white.
But then we’re introduced to the men who are most brown, varying shades from the illustrious golden-brown to the deep and dark browns. But there’s one thing that connects them all and it’s that they’re all lustful and aggressive. For example, Helion.
Helion is a character whose basically only traits are that he wants to sleep with multiple people. That’s how he was introduced to Feyre and that’s how he’s constantly being put in place of the story. We have Cassian in ACOSF whose constantly being portrayed as lustful, even going as far as abusive with the theory that he pushed Nesta down the stairs.
Rhysand as evil. Azriel as damaged and once again, lustful. And why do they all roar? Why are all the High Fae we’ve seen white and the Illyrians mainly brown and closer to animals because of their “instincts”?
Why was Tarquin immediately wanting Feyre?
Why is Emerie immediately put in a masculine position in the fandom because she’s brown and lesbian?
Why isn’t Feyre, Nesta, Elain, or Mor treated like this?
It’s just so weird to be that there are such huge distinctions between the lighter characters and the more melanated ones. And then the relationships. Why are Illyrian relationships supposed to be abusive and toxic because they “beat their women” but interracial relationships “pure and gentle”. Like what? I genuinely don’t understand it. And where are the soft, brown female characters? Yknow, the ones that don’t get mischaracterized and forgotten?
Feminism is supposed to be such a big thing in Acotar, but ONLY for white women and it’s not exactly subtle.
Quick question: would Elriel even be forbidden?
Like honestly, Elain has the most agency and freedom in the mating bond than Nesta and Feyre combined. You’re telling me that she can’t reject the bond?
The points are so contradicting to me.
Elain Archeron.
I honestly don’t like Elain. It’s something about her that reminds me a lot of those girls who smile in your face then talk behind your back and I think that’s what she is.
Elain isn’t kind, she’s nice. Those are two different things.
Elain is nice because she’s complacent, it’s her trauma response to shrink herself in order to stay hidden from anger and, dare I say, consequence. I think it all festered in the cabin, Elain forcibly shrunk herself in order to stay away from Nesta’s rage. And it worked so now she just does it all the time.
I get we don’t know anything about her, but I rather her cultivate somewhat of a sustainable personality before she gets shipped with anyone. Same goes for Azriel because he said four paragraphs in all these books. And like its a pendulum for her, she’s either really boring, or people start making up these theories for her.
And don’t get me started on the Elriels. They are VICIOUS. If you say anything about their ship they start defending it like these characters are real people.
| “Oh Elain deserves a choice! Elain doesn’t have to do anything! Azriel and Elain love each other!”
Ma’am, they are fictional characters. Whatever happens, happens. Even with Elriel, I don’t see it. They take theories from color coding, the sky, their ASS and they make it sound smart. That goes for all these ships. Like its fun but atp we don’t know if they just wanna fuck oorrrr…
Anyway, I said what I said.
A flop imo .
Okay,
so i personally have been on booktok alot and i’ve seen plenty of books that have come and gone. A really popular book was fourth wing. I didn’t mind fourth wing, it was okay.
Then we get to Iron Flame, which was really the boiling point of a loooonnng problem. There was generally no direction for where the plot was going and I felt like I was spinning around and around in circles. ESPECIALLY with Violet and Xaden. Like honestly, you’re in a middle of a war and all of a sudden you want to fuck, but oh you can’t trust him. Or you’re trying to be secretive.
Cmon!
I’ve seen a lot of people who agree with the fact that the miscommunication trope is honestly one of THE worst tropes out there. And it was even worse for Violet and Xaden who—imo—have no basis relationship whatsoever. They’re attracted to each other but do they LOVE each other? No. Now onto Onyx Storm.
A drag. A lot of nothing. I understand that Rebecca Yarros is a big contemporary romance author or whatever but I feel like she could’ve worked on the plot a lot more. The world is surrounded by Xaden and Violet and their romance, but how in the world is it so focused on THAT when there’s a WAR. Cue in War because I’ve only seen small quests. The plot feels like its going in circles with no clear end but also sort of a clear end because some things for me were predictable. Like the islands portion were really fucking long and for WHAT? Mind you, we didn’t know about these islands until the third book when world building should’ve been established in the first two.
And as far as the characters? Violet has had NO character development. Her character now fully relies on Xaden and whether he likes something or gets angry. Then she gets nervous cause he’s always trying to kill someone. I thought Violet was smart? That’s why I didn’t care when she got two dragons or when she became the lightning wielder because she EARNED it. Now its like she’s just getting powers smacked onto her when all she does is run around and her friends follow. Speaking of friends, I hate the dynamic. Even if the Empyrean series is in mostly Violet’s perspective, that doesn’t mean the characters shouldn’t feel like individuals.
Their sole purpose is to further Violet’s character when they should be serving the plot. Not the other way around. And Xaden? He’s your common “don’t touch what’s mine” except now he’s insecure because he’s venin and aggressive. What changed aside from the fact that you’re not human anymore? Like you were literally the same now you just spit out love admonitions which I don’t believe because the romance was just fucking, fucking, fucking.
Sigh.
Anyway, find your own books people but this one wasn’t for me.