#b fics

[beels-burger-babe]

Oh we are SO FREAKING BACK

I just spent my breaks during work rereading Sister's Keeper AND somehow managed to find an AT LEAST TWO YEAR OLD hand written draft for part eight shoved in the bottom of my crafts drawer!

WE ARE SET BABY! With luck, I should have the next part posted sometime this week, maybe even today!

Update: It is COMPLETE

[butch-enjoyer-omo]

Its been one of those weeks...pass the omorashi!! Omovember day 6 for your consideration. We have piss, wetting and a lesbian that cries.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Im following the list made by @homo-rashi ! you can check it out right here

[xenobabble]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

A not-so-clear guide by Isaac, amnesiac survivor of the White Whale and member of Elma's squad.

Or: My most self-indulgent fic yet, with a focus on Wrothians and a gay slowburn. Also available for reading under the cut!

The biggest job Isaac has been given since the discovery of the Lifehold Core, and it’s a security detail for a man who doesn’t even need one. He understands wanting to be safe, especially while they work on getting the Lifehold Core back online and ready to get everyone their actual bodies back and all… 

But Nagi is just about the last person Isaac can think of that needs to be guarded.

Well, who is he to tell Chausson how to run NLA? A rookie who worked under Elma, not Elma herself. Someone who had basically no room to say shit, as far as he was concerned. He didn’t want to ask if Chausson felt the same.

So instead, he just nodded and agreed to being on the security detail with Irina and Gwin. 

It was the Wrothians they were going to see. With the Ganglion threat mostly neutralized, the end of the treaty was coming close. At least, that was how it was supposed to be. 

The higher ups were interested in keeping relations nice and cool, though. A longer treaty would be the easiest way to do that -- easier than training each and every BLADE to steer clear of Wrothians on the hunt.

Given how dangerous Wrothians were to fight off? Well, Isaac guesses he does get the idea of extending an extension of the treaty. His personal interest in Ga Jiarg just sweetened the deal to him all the more.

That interest may need to be buried soon, if things got messy, though. It was a good thing only Crow and maybe Lin were even aware of it. Less chance of questions on how he was doing if the Wrothians became something to avoid just like the Indigens.

Well, that was enough thinking about himself. He had a job to do.

“Ready to get going?” Irina asks, quirking an eyebrow. “Nagi has been waiting for us.”

“Yeah, spacing out is probably not the way to get this job done,” Gwin teases. “Just sayin’.”

“Oh haha, very funny,” Isaac sticks his tongue out. “Come on, let’s go.”

He leads the way towards the exit, Nagi in fact already waiting. Isaac decides to pretend like he doesn’t see the quirked eyebrow or the look that screams why did you take so long. No, he’ll just play ignorant.

“Sir,” Irina gives him a salute and Isaac and Gwin follow suit. “Ready to head for the Wrothian Stronghold as soon as you’re ready!”

“Wonderful, I was afraid I would fall asleep before you made it here,” Nagi says, his tone as deadpan as always. “Isaac, I have it on good authority that you’ve been there quite often. I want you to lead us. Irina, Gwin, I want you to take up the rear.”

“Sir!”

Isaac climbs into his Skell and starts off, the others following shortly behind him. For a moment, he wishes it was Lin or Elma in his place. They had been there nearly as much, if not more. Why was he leading anyway? They had the location on Frontier Nav!

Best not to question it. Maybe it was a test from the higher ups. If that was the case, he had to do his best. And so the best he did. Taking out Indigens as quickly and carefully as possible as they travel to Oblivia.

It’s when they’re within sight of the Wrothian Stronghold that he pauses for a moment. Takes the time to get out of his Skell and rehearse answers to questions he is expecting to be lobbed his way.

He gestures for the others to follow and in they go, soon making there way to where he often finds Ga Jiarg. Just… sitting or chatting with one of his people. Today, he isn’t occupied.

He nods in greeting and Isaac nods in return. He steps to the side, deferring to Nagi much like Ga Buidhe defers to Ga Jiarg himself. The Wrothian stands when it is clear whatever’s going on here is more serious than a casual visit.

Nagi bows, and the other three scramble to follow suit. “Ga Jiarg, leader of this band of Wrothians, I presume.”

Ga Jiarg nods. “Yes. Rise, human. There is no need for such respect among allies.”

They straighten and Isaac wonders what Nagi’s next move will be. He thinks back on when he was guilt tripped right into joining BLADE and, well… Here’s to hoping he doesn’t try anything like that, right?

“Allies,” Nagi starts. “Our status as allies is exactly why we stand before you today, actually.”

“Always right to the point with him,” Gwin whispers at Isaac. Isaac has to resist the urge to snort.

“As I’m sure you are aware, the Ganglion threat is all but gone,” Nagi continues as if Gwin hadn’t said a word. “The intel from the BLADE team who secured the treaty in the first place tells us you plan to dissolve in when that time comes.”

“Yes,” Ga Jiarg nods. “Such is the Wrothian way.”

Nagi hums. “Of course. However, other such intel tells us many of your people long for the conflict to march forward, if only to remain allies.”

A pause before Ga Jiarg speaks again. “That is correct.”

“I do not envy the position you are in,” Nagi says. “To choose between the way your people have always operated and what they want now. It is a difficult choice to make.”

“Get to the point you are trying to make, human,” Ga Buidhe speaks up then, eyes narrowing. “Are you asking to extend the treaty?”

“That is in fact what I am asking, yes,” Nagi nods. “I would never ask you to simply go against your ways, perish the thought. But your people have made their wants clear to us, and the Indigens still pose a threat to all of us.”

“The one who gathers this intel for you,” Ga Jiarg’s eyes move from Nagi to Isaac for all of a second. “They were wise to pass it on to their superiors.”

“Only the best BLADE has to offer dares to take on jobs for those outside of our own system,” Nagi replies. “That care can’t be trained into them.”

“I see,” Ga Jiarg crosses his arms and closes his eyes. A pregnant silence falls over the room.

“This offer,” Isaac speaks up, unable to take it. “It’s something my superior officers came up with for both our sakes. Cooperation towards a future where we both survive on Mira.”

Ga Jiarg does not open his eyes. “Do you believe a continued treaty could lead to such?”

“I’m no statistician,” Isaac admits. “But I want to believe it could, if both sides are willing to try.”

“You trust your superiors, that much is clear,” Ga Jiarg finally opens his eyes. “Then I will put my trust in them as well.”

“Oh?” Nagi asks. “Have you made your decision, then?”

“I offer you a deal,” he replies. “It is my duty to care for my people, and to listen to what they want. But it is also my duty to ensure they are not dreaming up falsehoods. You are to build a team of the best you have to offer. Send them to me, and have them live among us for one hundred days. If they can prove this treaty is for the best for both our people, the treaty will be extended indefintely.”

Oh, huh. That was not an answer Isaac had been expecting. And based on the reactions of Irina and Gwin, neither were they. Nagi, being Nagi, is unflinching, even in the fact of the answer. How he was prepared to not freak out at anything but a yes or a no is beyond Isaac, but he wants answers.

“I see,” Nagi says before Isaac can even think of questioning him. “Then it is up to us to decide what the best of the best means?”

Ga Jiarg nods. “If your best does not meet our standards, it would not matter if we give you exact details of what we look for.”

“Hey, uh,” Gwin swallows hard. “Does it have to be only humans? I mean, uh--”

“What he’s trying to say,” Irina takes over in a much calmer tone of voice. “Is that New Los Angeles is a melting pot of Xeno cultures. It’s not just humans who make our success possible, and it wouldn’t just be humans who could answer your call for aid if it came down to it.”

“As long as they are a member of BLADE, they will be welcomed to show the use of your people,” Ga Jiarg nods. “Though your methods may be called into question if you only send us non-humans.”

“Worry not,” Nagi assures. “I already have a human or two in mind for the job.”

--

“So that’s what was said,” Isaac says, throwing himself into the bed next to his husband. “The big wigs are gonna send a team of four to live with the Wrothians for a hundred days and all we have to do is hope they don’t blow it.”

“What if they send you, though?” Crow asks, playing with a strand of Isaac’s hair. “You were there to help beat Ga Jiarg and Ga Buidhe, right? That might give you bonus respect points they’ll want to cash in on.”

Isaac shakes his head. “No way. Elma and Lin did all the heavy lifting with all the Ganglion stuff once I joined the team. If anything, those two and some mediators will be going. Maybe a mediator and a harrier, since they acknowledge strength in battle and all that.”

“Strength you have,” Crow points out. “Stop selling yourself short, babe. If I was in the talks about who to send, you’d be at the top of my list.”

“And you’re biased.” Isaac points out. “This feels like an attempt at telling me to just shoot my shot already, before I run out of time.”

“Maybe,” Crow replies. “Worked for me when I told L how I felt, didn’t it?”

“That’s different,” Isaac argues. “Don’t ask me how, but it is.”

“Uh-huh, well from the sounds of it you don’t think you’ll be going anyway,” Crow curls up next to him. “So don’t worry about it. You can always shoot your shot when the treaty is back in full swing.”

“Haha, very funny,” Isaac makes a face. “I’m not saying shit, especially when there’s no saying if the treaty will work out in the end or not!”

“Okay, okay…” Crow rubs his side. “We’ll just wait and see, then. How about that?”

“Perfect,” Isaac replies, melting into his touch. “After that mission, I don’t want to see politics for at least two months…”

--

“Wait, why am I here?” Isaac looks at the chosen group. 

Elma, Lin, and… Mia? The first two seemed like prime choices for any mission, but especially the Wrothian one. Mia and him, on the other hand? Seemed like picking from the bottom of the barrel, if you asked him.

“You’ll be headin’ out to the Wrothian Stronghold,” Vandham replies. “You’re the team that’ll spend a hundred days trying to make us seem worth it.”

“Whoa! That’s a big job!” Mia gasps. “I’ll do my best, sir!”

“Good, that’s what we’re expectin’.” Vandham replies. “You’ll report back every day, all of you, to help give us a feel of how things are goin’.”

“We’ll also feed you advice, should things seem to be going south,” Nagi adds. “We’re hoping it won’t be needed, but we must be prepared for everything.”

“Makes enough sense,” Elma nods. “Show the Wrothian the best BLADE, and by extension NLA, has to offer.”

“I don’t get it,” Isaac says in stark contrast. “Elma makes enough sense, I mean… Look at her! Lin and Mia know how to work on Skells better than anyone else, and Lin can awe them with their cooking and Mia with her… plucky attitude, but what do I add?”

The answer was nothing. Everyone else had at least one unique thing to bring to the table, but Isaac? He guesses he’s spent the most time around Wrothians, but he’s shared any important data with everyone else. It was a job anyone could do.

“You are what we call a last resort,” Nagi responds plainly. “You seem to get on well with Ga Jiarg, and so are being sent as a sign of goodwill. The best of the best include the human he likes most.”

“Oh,” Isaac responds. “That’s silly.”

“Silly as it may be, it seems like about the best idea we had for number four,” Vandham replies. “Use that goodwill to your advantage, could save us from any really bad days. Woo him with those… Isaac charms he seems to see.”

“Woo him?” Lin guffaws. “Oh, Vandham--”

“Lin,” Isaac says through gritted teeth. “Don’t you dare--”

“If this is about your apparent feelings for him, do not worry,” Nagi offers. “We all can already tell. That’s why your main goal will be to court him for the hundred days. It may not go anywhere, but the softer he is on a human, the better.”

Mia whistles. “Damn, Chief! Get it!”

“Mia, please, not now.” Isaac groans. “Come on, Nagi, Vandham. You can’t be serious! You don’t really want me to court--”

“We do. Court him with all your might,” Nagi replies. “Woo him with those Isaac charms of yours, as Vandham put it.”

“...I’m getting a feeling the only answer you’ll accept to that is yes sirs, I’ll try my best sirs.”

Nagi nods. “Indeed.”

“Great,” Isaac groans yet again. “Just great.”

[xenobabble]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

He pulls him a bit closer, and their breath mingles. “Perhaps you are too naive and ignorant for your own good. I will have to be direct from here on out.”

More Ga Jiarg cause I am gay!

--

Ga Jiarg’s tail slams against the wall and Isaac wonders if that means he’s upset. It’s hard to tell if Wrothians just look like cats or if they also act like them… So he decides to play it safe and be polite.

It’s been a couple weeks since he met Crow and found out about Isaac being married, found out that relationship was polyamorus, and had a secret conversation with him. He had seemed fine -- maybe more than fine if Isaac had to describe it.

But right now? He seems upset.

Isaac stops petting the cat in front of him and stands up, dusting off the front of his pants. “Sorry, got distracted there…”

Maybe that was what he was upset about? Ga Jiarg had been visiting NLA more often after meeting Crow, usually to spend time with Isaac. Isaac didn’t know why an alien ex-prince wanted to spend time with him, but, hey. He wasn’t going to complain.

He was going to worry he was blowing all this time hanging around a man he found so attractive, though.

“It is fine,” Ga Jiarg says, clearly lying. “You were enjoying yourself.”

“Yeah, but if you come to see me, I should pay more attention to you, right?” Isaac replies. “The cats are always here. A Wrothian Warlord, not so much.”

“I said it is fine, but…” He pulls himself from the wall and moves closer, his tail wrapping around one of Isaac’s leg. “I cannot argue with your logic. More attention would not be scorned.”

“Well, it would help if you acted like you actually liked the attention,” Isaac sighs. “But I can work with this. I like hanging out with you.”

Ga Jiarg’s left ear twitches. “You do?”

Isaac nods, smiling. “I do.”

Ga Jiarg’s tail around his leg shifts and Isaac shifts in turn. “As much as you enjoy being with your husband?”

“Huh?”

“I would never suggest more, if you are worried that is where this is going,” Ga Jiarg replies. “I am courting you to be an equal of his, not to replace him.”

Isaac blinks once, twice, three times. “Courting me? You’re courting me?”

“Why else would I be spending my days with you so endlessly?” Ga Jiarg frowns. “I must take care of my people, I have no time to simply spend time with a human I do not long for.”

“I just thought you were being friendly,” Isaac replies, “I uh, thought you were out of my league.”

Ga Jiarg frowns, reaching out and pulling Isaac close to him. “Your husband did not tell you? Despite me asking for his blessing?”

“He did tell me to go for it,” Isaac mumbles. “I just thought he was being supportive, though.”

Ga Jiarg’s tail once again slams about, his ears twitching in what must have been annoyance. Isaac feels like shrinking a bit in that moment, but it’shard to when the Wrothian has such an iron grip on him.

He pulls him a bit closer, and their breath mingles. “Perhaps you are too naive and ignorant for your own good. I will have to be direct from here on out.”

Being kissed by Ga Jiarg feels like something that’s happened in a dream more than once. More than five times, if he’s being honest. Really, it had become a nightly occurrence some time ago, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

So when Ga Jiarg actually kisses him, he wishes he could pinch himself. You know, make sure this wasn’t just another dream. Wrothian fangs biting into his lip do enough to show him it’s real, though.

He lets out a squeak at it, even, spurring Ga Jiarg into pulling away, licking his own lips. Isaac’s mind is swimming, not only was he kissed but Ga Jiarg is continuing to be extremely fucking hot .

“Uh,” he finally manages to say. “S. So that’s your official proclamation of courting me.”

“That is an official proclamation we are mates,” Ga Jiarg replies. “You feel the same, yes?”

“I mean, I do, this is just moving so fast,” Isaac replies, cheeks red. “Are you sure about getting with someone like me?”

Ga Jiarg gives him a look. “Do you need me to be direct with my answer once again?”

“No!” Isaac pauses. “...Though it, uh, wouldn’t hurt.”

“I see,” Ga Jiarg leans in again, their lips brushing againtsone another. “Then allow me to make myself extremely clear.”

[curlyjoe7]

The Vampire & His Sharpie Fic

“The only important thing in life is Sharpie Black,” said the Vampire. I just wish they could see me for my heart not my lack of morals and immortality.

Blood sucking was all I knew until I smelt the toxic scent of my dear crush, Sharpie Black. Sure their variations are hot, Sharpie Blue, Sharpie Pink, and Sharpie Gold but nothing is like my dear Black. They just have a way to them. Many ways… oh how that plastic just slides in. Nothing is better than that. If only they didn’t prefer werewolves and Sharpie Pink would stop flirting with me. I don’t know why she even is, she has a boyfriend: Sharpie Finetip. Fuck that Elvis wannabe. All he ever does is cheat on her with all the Copic Colors. Gross. Why does she even like him?????? AND WHY DOES HE NEVER WASH HIS HAIR???????????? I CAN SMELL HIS GREASE FROM TWO MARKER NIBS AWAY. Gag. But he’s not important.

Also I want to say that warewolves smell like dog dookie, what do they even see in those furries????? Everyone just fucking seems to love werewolves. WHY?! I’m a clean, smooth shaven guy who doesn’t smell like dog dookie and I’m the one who can’t get a date????? Is it because of that one time we saw a dead pigeon in the park and I ate it? Look that pigeon was just laying there and littering is very bad, I’m just doing a favor by keeping the town clean. That’s what I get for trying to be a good citizen???!!! Y’ALL GOOD FOR NOTHING ART SUPPLIES AND SUPERNATURAL ASSHOLES DON’T GIVE TWO HOOTS ABOUT THIS TOWN!!!!! IF I WASN’T HERE YOU’D BE LIVING IN YOUR OWN GARBAGE. Anyway despite their horrible taste in men my cold heart still felt warm standing next to them in the park. Or I was just burning to death, I don’t know. That would explain the smell of someone grilling steaks…

Let’s talk more about Sharpie Black and less about my burning flesh now, okay? Oh my Sharpie Black, how I wish you would just notice me one more time. How I wish we could have one more night but alas they never texted me back. What did I do wrong? I guess for now I just won’t know. They did say they were going to Crayola’s house tonight though and lucky for me I work as a driver for Pizza Hut and guess who just ordered some pizza? Crayola’s household. Crayola is Sharpie Black’s best friend, Crayola Supertip. I’m honestly not sure what happened to Crayola Original, they were here for the marker factory tour field trip one day and next they were gone. It’s really weird and Crayola Supertip refuses to talk about it. I know they know something but it’s not easy to think about I guess.

I got the order from Trevor and walked out to the car to put the pizzas in, 13 extra large deep dish olive pizzas with extra cheese. I’m more of a hand tossed kind of guy myself but hey to each their own. Slam the trunk and off I went. I made my way down Robin’s Egg Blue Ave in my 2002 Toyota Camry with a special surprise in the back seat: a 14th extra large deep dish pizza with olives forming a very important question to my future bae. Oh and can’t forget the extra cheese of course! Hell yeah we get down with mozzarella!!! My 2002 Toyota Camry just barely survived making it up Crayola Supertip’s driveway and I get out. “Who makes driveways this steep????’’ I exclaimed, “That honestly should be illegal! I could have died!” “Well I mean I’m a vampire and I can’t die, unless I’m standing in the sun or eating garlic,” I corrected myself “whatever you know what I mean.”

I took the pizzas out and got up to the door, ring rang that doorbell and Crayola Colored Pencil, Crayola Supertip’s dad, opened the door. With a smile I greeted him “pizza time sir!” I handed the 13 pizzas to him hoping to see Sharpie Black come down the stairs, they never did. Then I brought him the special pizza: number 14. “I didn’t order 14 pizzas.” he said. “We know you didn’t sir but it’s a free one for being a supporting customer.” He gave a big smile to me “Oh well isn’t that just so nice. Now this is why I prefer Pizza Hut.” I laughed “It surely is delicious” and handed him the receipt for him to sign. He signed it and I went on my way. Hopefully Sharpie Black will just text me their response. But what was my question you ask? It was this: “You wanna date or nah? – Clot Vampire.”  I wanted them to open the pizza and see that instantly and with that thought I got a text. I unlocked my phone and it was from them, sweet, toxic smelling Sharpie Black. I opened up the message with excitement that read: “nah.” “Welp I feel like some garlic.”

And that’s how I died. Kinda sad but wow heaven sure does have some fast internet though.

[erurilicious]

baccuroth replied to your post:How to win my heart and wet my pants: share your...

yessssss *is given life*

That's the least I can give you for your writings