I have so many mixed feeling about my art and social media, but I can't really put them into words. So I had to sort my thoughts first.
Reasons why I don't draw much anymore: - work is sucking out all of my energy - general dissatisfaction with my art style since years - but not knowing what to change about it - wanting too much - naturally getting rusty bc I lack practice now - results in anxiety & petrification
I have so many ideas that I would really, really love to draw and get excited at the idea of it. But as soon as I think about picking up a pen or plugging in my tablet I start to feel sick and my anxiety level is skyrocketing.
Also on social media: I always kept fandom and original art/ATC art kinda separated on tumblr, insta and twitter bc I'm too afraid that some people might see my pathetic loser fangirling. This also results in me neglecting half of these accounts sooner or later. (Usually the original art accounts bc y'know fanart gets you more attention.) I also hate that I'm going by different names and did some name changes in the past, so there is art circulating from me with all kind of different watermarks on them. Idk if that's a good thing. So I'm thinking about uniting all my art under one (yet another) new name. But I'm afraid of uniting all the different followers or that people get annoyed and me always creating new accounts. Also if irl people stumble across that account they will know all 50 shades of Ashy. That account actually already exists, but I haven't really posted anything there. So far I only have like 5 followers there from a German ATC discord and idk if I should tweet in German or English. I make everything unnecessarily complicated and act as if this was a big scientific problem and not just a haobby that I am supposed to bei enjoying.
