#b1g8

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8 for B1G8!

8 for B1G8!

Tolkien’s epic Novel Lord of the Rings has three (3) parts.

CS Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia has seven (7) books.

My Chronicles for B1G 8 has eight – it’s an eight-part series! Haha!

Why this long? I dunno. Maybe It’s called an overflow. And oh I have to apologize for making what I consider the most reader-insensitive (i.e., the loooonggeeesssstttt) blog post I made my whole life. Of course you guys are busy people and I don’t really expect you to read all of these. (I doubt actually if ever Id have ANY blog readers at all given it’s this long : ))) If you were to chose one, I guess it’ll be worthwhile to read the 7th part. Nevertheless I’m sharing the links. Feel free to read it when you are either fee, or. uh, “that bored.” (Kidding aside).

In all honesty, I initially planned to make it short, but as I write I realized I have s much on my notes that I don’t want to put to waste. I actually intended to write it down, so I won’t forget what God taught me during this retreat. I remember that scene in Narnia (in Voyage of the Dawn Treader) wherein Caspian and his crew sailed through the inky black waters of the Dark Island. When they felt stuck in the infinite darkness, Lucy remembered Aslan and prayed to him. Then a beam of light cut though the darkness, and an albatross emerged from that beam of light. This guided them through the darkness.

Like Caspian and his crew I really tend to forget things, even the good things no matter how grand these are. By all means I don’t doubt that I’d find Help when I need it. I hope that through my journals, my notes on verses from Scriptures, and these blog posts, (like how the albatross reminded the Narnian crew of Aslan) I’d be reminded of things I need not forget and Id be able to just keep on moving forward. “Don’t forget in the darkness what God has taught you in the light,” I was told. So there, that’s my motivation for this uber long blog post :D   

So here’s the list of the links:

·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 1): The Prelude  -

“So how was the B1G 8 retreat?” a good friend asked. Frankly I didn’t know where to start because I had a lot of things in mind when I try to recall what happened during that 3-day retreat.

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36716243370/b1g8-part1

·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 2) - Get Real

Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets." (Luke 5:5)

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36718365829/b1g8-part2

    ·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 3): Get Radical

Do you want to serve Christ? Then know the cost.

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36794038529/b1g8-part3

·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 4): On Convictions

  Intimacy With God Results to Making Convictions

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36798035605/b1g-8-chronicles-part-4-on-convictions

·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 5) : A Segway on Liberty Issues and Convictions

  If there’s one key takeaway from Pastor Nate’s on liberties, for me it’s this: You are to glorify God in these liberty aspects.

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36798706961/b1g8-part5

  ·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 6) : More Segways

  Okay so let’s take a break from all the serious posts. The retreat didn’t really have that constant melancholic + reflective theme. I did share a few laughs and light moments too, and I’ve compiled it here. These are just some short events that did spice up the retreat.

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36800614373/b1g8-part6

  ·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 7) The Joy of following Jesus

  Through what Pastor Ricky shared I was reminded that choosing to serve and follow Christ is in itself an act of faith.

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36801377168/b1g8-part7

  ·         B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 8)

Making a commitment yet again

Every retreat ends with a challenge: what stand should you take now that you’ve heard all these things? The best part of learning is application, not knowledge retention

http://jilds.tumblr.com/post/36802034389/b1g8-part8

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B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 8) - Conclusion

Making a commitment yet again

Every retreat ends with a challenge: what stand should you take now that you’ve heard all these things? The best part of learning is application, not knowledge retention. And as always, the B1G challenge stirs my heart, and I pray I’d move accordingly. When God moved your heart so much, how can you stay still? I guess the only response is to follow.

Give Him your alabaster jar: He deserves things of great value and of worth. You are to give it to him wholeheartedly.

And also offer Him your Isaac. To Abraham, Isaac was his promised son whom God asked him to offer as a burnt offering. Abraham did, and the Lord blessed his heart. At one point in life God requires us to give him our Isaacs – people and things he gave to us and we value. If the alabaster jar is something you willingly offer, this may not be unwillingly offered at once. But when he asks to take it away, what would you do?

I won’t write here what my alabaster jar nor my Isaac was, but whatever I wrote there, I wrote it in faith praying that I would be able to really these and that those aren’t just wasted words. As I wrote I looked back and remember what I wrote during the past B1G 7 and the B1G intimacy retreats – many of the things written there were already crossed out. He answered my prayers during those times, and I know he sees and reads what I was writing. Being reminded of that I was writing with high hopes that it won’t be a wasted time: God would enable me to let go of these things as I continue to trust in him.

The place was set up with candles arranged, leading to a narrow road. It was symbolic and accurate of what our walk with God is like – it gets narrower and harder as you go along, hence it’s always very tempting to go back.

Yes Lord!

“Do you know Isaac trusted his father when he knew he’d be offered to the Lord?” Isaac was a teenager when all these happened, and we he knew he’d be offered as a bunt offering, he uttered no complaint. The speaker further mentioned about what it’s like to be a burnt offering – it’s something meant to be fully bunt and offered to the Lord. It will be fully consumed by fire, and nothing will be left for the one who offers. I cried at that instant. Nothing left for me, even the things that I hold dearly as that what’s required. I lay this down with trust and with a broken heart – Yes Lord I lay these down. It is hard, but In the end I know I won’t regret making that decision.

Yes Lord, Id follow.

Going back to my First Love

For some retreats may be just a yearly thing. For me, however, as early as now I’m looking forward to the next one. And I know as I wait, there would be more milestones in my walk with God outside a retreat site for he speaks and moves even on what you may consider as an ordinary life event, like prayer times. From the past two retreats I knew there are always fresh starts with your walk with God. No matter how long you’ve been waking with Him, it isn’t true that it is bound to be repetitive, boring and dragging. Rather it’s a relationship wherein you keep falling in love over and over again.

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B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 7) - The Joy of Following Jesus

Day 3 - The Joy of following Jesus

“Gone fishing.”

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Ptr. Ricky Sarthou mentioned that in Western countries, the phrase is used when people went to rest (say from their work) to get away from the stress so they may relax and think things over. Sometimes God’s workers do the same when the going gets tough. It could either be because they feel unappreciated or unnoticed for the hard work that they do for the ministry. Some others feel that they’re so unworthy to do the task, and they think they can’t really offer anything good as they serve. “God, your team would be better off without me.” Here he spoke of people who continued to serve God despite the struggles they face. He elaborated by explaining God’s manner of selection: “Who are those people whom God calls?” The answer to it is striking: He makes use of damaged goods. We are all damaged goods in a way, he mentioned, some more broken than others. But we’re alike in that aspect; we only vary in magnitude (of damage). Hence it is only by God’s grace that we are able to do things for Him. He makes use of whatever little we can give to turn it into something good for His glory.

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It is true that the Lord calls us to make use of the gifts we have to serve him. Here what was emphasized though wasn’t the gifting part, it’s the holistic view of who God calls – a person with talents and gifts, but also is with a scarred past bound to make mistakes in the process. Sometimes when we think of serving, we place so much emphasis on our gifts hence we are led to believe that it’s about us and what we can do. But along with our strengths we bring our weaknesses with us – a character that’s yet to be molded, with baggages and hurts still on the process of healing. That struck me.

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When I chose to serve, I thought I was ready for it. I prayed to be in a ministry, to be involved again since latter part of 2010, but God told me to wait because my life’s focus then ought to be about redirecting it -- away from the deviations I just had. Yes, over my waiting time, the Lord dealt with my character and molded it. Like Moses waiting in the desert for 40 years, I waited and allowed God to help me resolve many of my issues. It did improve over time, and as my heart overflows with joy because of what God did for me, I decided to volunteer.

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But maybe nothing is ever gone completely. As I went on serving I realized there are still hints of my imperfect self – ugly and disgusting facets of my past resurfacing – and for some time I thought these things could ruin God’s plan for the ministry I chose to serve in. I was thinking of taking a leave until “I fix it.” I continued to pray for this, but I was encouraged to press on. I was led to believe it’s part of the process, and my response is not to run away but draw near to Him.

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I was reminded of what writer Frederick Buechner mentioned, that God took a big risk when He delegated His work to the 72 followers (prior to Jesus’ ascension) and then to us, the Church. He spoke of the selection process (which is, in essence, the same as Pastor Ricky’s). Allow me to quote:

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“to choose for his holy work… lamebrains and misfits and nitpickers and holier-than-thous and stuffed shirts and odd ducks and egomaniacs and milquetoasts and closet sensualists.” (Frederick Buechner, A Room Called Remember, 142)

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It is true people as flawed as us can misrepresent Christ as we do His work, but He took that risk when He called me and you to serve Him. And through what Pastor Ricky shared I was reminded that choosing to serve and follow Christ is in itself an act of faith. I’d always be imperfect hence always falling short of God’s high standards for his ministry, so instead of focusing on my guilt I should have the humility to confess and admit these every single time I fall. In addition to this I ought to persevere and stand up again, be obedient and cooperative as He changes me daily to be more like Him and less of myself. I agree with what that familiar song said, “I’m trading my sorrows, shame, sickness, and pain for the joy of the Lord." After all, the Lord never left us guideless, rather we are with a Counselor. Hence we ought to depend on Him completely in this aspect. At the end of the day, it all boils down to one truth we shouldn't miss: it's all about Him.

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When you serve you are to give God your most excellent output. At the same time you lay down everything about yourself, and that includes your messed up past and your current struggles. Pastor Ricky reminded, “God loves you so much to leave you the way He found you.” Indeed you can trust He will change you and work in you because of His love (for you). In entirety nothing good can really come out of a damaged good like yourself, if not for the hands of a wonderful Potter who would mold you into perfection.

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B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 6) : More Segways

Okay so let’s take a break from all the serious posts. The retreat didn’t really have that constant melancholic + reflective theme. I did share a few laughs and light moments too, and I’ve compiled it here. These are just some short events that did spice up the retreat.

Discipleship principles of Jesus

Ptr Jonathan Fenix presented three points on discipleship which Jesus himself modeled for us. According to him it has to be intentional meaning we are to take initiatives and be clear with intentions. He also suggested we may even be the one to approach people if we have the burden to disciple them. It laso has to be relational, hence people-oriented. Finally it should be missional, or we mentor with an end goal in mind.

Bible reading: Boys vs Girls

I really learned a lot from the practical tips Ptr. Jonathan shared but I must say I also enjoyed the jokes and his side comments he gave as he delivered his lecture. For me the most epic joke was the Bible reading comparison between girls and boys. According to him, girls (ahem!) do a better job reading the Scriptures aloud than men. Haha! Hey, that’s according to him ;)

So we had this mini contest of Bible reading – men first, then the women. Before the men read, Ptr. Fenix gave all the motivation they might need – say being noticed by their retreat crush and all that.  I guess he got disappointed afterwards.

I’m quoting from memory some of his witty remarks:

“Ok na sana nung umpisa eh… medyo nagkalat pa kayo sa dulo…

Napansin na sana kayo nung crush ninyo sa 1st verse eh… Pagdating sa second verse friends na lang ulit kayo (ng crush niyo).

Men… why? : ))))”

Of course we were laughing when he said that. And then after saying this he called the ladies to read the same passage. “Now ladies, without any motivation whatsoever, please read.”

So we did read in unison. I think Ptr. Fenix liked the way we read. “See guys the ladies read it in a manner na ‘Im not trying to please anyone here. Just trying to read the best possible way,’” he commented. I guess we won that mini-challenge.;)

We’re hoping next time the men will win. Harhar. :D #justforlaughs #nothingserious :D

Break out group and dinner outs

I spent most of the time with my breakout group, and I must say I learned a lot from all their sharing. I believe each of us were reminded of how similar many of our struggles are, and I think that helps because we sometimes feel miserable when we think we are alone in our struggles. Of course I can’t share the details here, but I think it suffices to say I did enjoy our sharing time. Our group mate Dawn shared an FB pic which I liked much (because it has #kikayhearts as its borders). I really hope Id see most of them during the Saturday Connect fellowship in B1G South (in CCF Alabang).

I also sent some of my time with the younger gals of the music team. I really praise God for how he’s worked (and is still working) in this team. We started out barely knowing each other by name after the B1G Intimacy retreat, but we found ourselves growing closer together over time. We (from the Woship team) had one dinner wherein we tried to eat dinner together as a group. Karen was leaving that night so we wanted to spend time with her. Sayang, some of the guys weren’t able to come, but nevertheless we had fun. Of course it would have been better if everyone was there :D

B1G Games

When about 200+ people were running around and doing obstacle courses… I slept. Haha! Actually I did read a book, then did write (heartfelt) letters for the care share wall as well. Then after writing a few notes, I felt sleepy. And the rest is history. Hihi. Zzzz.

Fellowship Night

We had a birthday surprise for Tommy during the fellowship night. There, along with the guys and gals from B1G South we stayed at the lobby of the hotel, had some chit chats, and sang him a birthday song. Tommy gave a short speech extending his thanks to the fellowship. He also shared how blessed he was when he decided to go back to the Lord and how of a joy it was for him to be able to volunteer for B1G 8.

After the gazillion photo ops, we went back to the garden were fellowship night was held. I lost track of where my friends were and had a hard time finding them without my contacts. Actually I deliberately didn’t bring my contacts that retreat, because my eyes were prone to wander. So imagine what it was like that night as I walked across the garden: it was a myriad of blurred faces because I can’t recognize people if they are more than three meters away. I might have given most of the people there a blank stare. Not more than 5 minutes of searching, the emcees declared that the night is over. Then and there I found Isa and Sheena at the corridor so I walked with them back to my room.

I didn’t sleep at once because I can’t, and had a short reflection time on John 11. It was a timely reminder that when God responds in a manner we don’t expect (like how Jesus did towards Mary, Martha, and Lazarus), it still is for something greater than what you can imagine. 9I may share it in a separate blog post ;)

After uttering a short prayer, I rested. I was looking forward to Day 3.

[jildsinequilibrium]

B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 2) - Day 1

Get Real

Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets." (Luke 5:5)

“Because you say so…” It all started with Peter obeying Jesus’ command, despite what may seem to him as an odd thing then, he still followed. Through his obedience he was able to see a miracle from Jesus Christ – they had a miraculous catch of fish. Later on Jesus called them to be his followers, so verse 11 closes with “(they) left everything and followed him.“

Pastor Jess (Lantin) emphasized that our true identity as believers is to fish for men and disciple as Jesus did. He adds that we are to “fish with unquestioning obedience, and in absolute abandonment.” Ichkoy (de Leon) also shared his testimony and he said that we focus so much on the miraculous catch of fish but we fail to see one important thing: “The best catch of the day is Peter.”

He ends his testimony with a challenge, “Jesus is going fishing this weekend. Will you be His Peter?”

"Lord, I want to," I silently prayed.

Old Sofas

As I am longing to lead a Dgroup for 2013, with the permission and encouragement of my breakout group leader Tin, I opted for the workshop for Dgroup and D12 leaders. Here speaker Ichkoy (De Leon) mentioned of old sofas we got used to in leading our groups – these are practices that may have seem comfortable for us but we have to get away with as it’s not in any way contributing to the success of leading a Dgroup.

One of these is Vision buy-in (or therefore the lack of it). As a church we are to “make Christ-committed followers who will make Christ-committed followers.” If we are half-hearted towards this, then it will manifest in our actions. Pursuant to Christ’s command (in Matthew 28:19, 20) we are told to promote and live out this great commission. Ichkoy also mentioned of three other pitfalls detrimental to any Dgoup and ministry such as Legalism (falling in love with the process to the point of missing out on the vision), Politics (showing favoritism towards a preferred group of people), and a sense of Entitlement for leaders. He mentioned practical tips such as making time for everyone, say invest at least 5mins on people you don’t know nor usually talk to (to minimize Politics), as well as prefer to work in the background even without recognition (to deal with entitlement).

In one way or another I have been guilty of being comfortable with these old sofas then an now. I pray that as I lead my own Dgroup soon, I’d look back to these practical truths. I hope I'd do away with these pitfalls.

[jildsinequilibrium]

B1G 8 Chronicles (Part 1): The Prelude

 “So how was the B1G 8 retreat?” a good friend asked.

Frankly I didn’t know where to start because I had a lot of things in mind when I try to recall what happened during that 3-day retreat.

But if I were to sum it up, it was a weekend well spent and I know like B1G 7 my learnings from this 3-day retreat would impact my walk with the Lord for the next years, especially for 2013.

Flashback

B1G 7 for me was like among the most memorable retreats I had in my whole life. Growing up in a Christian family, summer camps became very usual for me that it became rather routinary at one point. Came College, I stopped attending such retreats and went to mission exposure trips instead. But as the phrase for B1G 7 was catchy, “Find Rest,” I gave it a shot. Needless to say it was so timely for me for at then as I was going through a lot of things. There at that retreat I found rest, and I recommitted my life and started afresh. I went there lost from my wandering, tired from the hurts I was going through, empty and broken. But after 3 days I went home at peace, once again zealous for life, no longer aimless but with a purpose. For me it was more than just retreat; it impacted my decisions for 2012. Moreso it changed my life.

B1G 8: Not just “another” retreat

I was excited for B1G 8 even before the final date was announced. Actually I was looking forward to it. Even though there we from B1G South thought we’d have our own retreat, I was decided that Id go to B1G 8. And when there was an opportunity to serve as a volunteer, I did sign-up. It was my way of saying thanks for how God reached out to me in the past retreat. I knew it will be an avenue wherein many hearts will be moved, and so I wanted to help in every small way I can so that as I work with many other volunteers, this retreat will happen.

When the theme was announced, I was just amazed as to how something that was supposed to target a general audience could be so personal – like it was tailor suited for me by God. B1G 7 was about recommitment, B1G 8 was about pressing on towards that life I decided to recommit to Him. FOLLOW.

Ask and you shall receive

True enough, I got what I expected and hoped for. Actually I had more. Before going to the retreat, I had some concerns and questions and these were answered. I also had some aspirations and dreams for 2013, and these were all the more ignited. There’s just so much to write about.

As I know I’d be looking back to this entry sometime in the future, I tried to write everything I learned during that 3-day encounter. Some portions of the entries may be summaries of the sermons preached by the speakers, but I also did input my reflections.

B1G 8 Chronicles?

The lexical definition of the word chronicle (from the freedictionary.com) is a “A detailed narrative record or report.” Hence I believe the series of posts qualifies as a chronicle. It’s too long for a blog post, Im making a 5-part series just to include in here everything I’ve learned. I’m sorry for writing what could be the most reader insensitive (i.e., ultimately loooong) blog post. It would take so much patience reading all of these, so if ever you were to choose one blog post to read, please choose Day 3 - The Joy of following Jesus :D I tried to make Days 1 and 2 to be as short as possible. I focused on Day 3 as most key points were on that day.

So let’s get started :D