Chapter 1: Crystal’s Ex-Fiancee Will Be On Busty Asian Beauties
Today, Crystal & Danica discuss why Danica should(n't) be on Busty Asian Beauties. We talk about: misogyny, "Soldier, Poet, King," and "Twist and Shout."
(Inspired by The McElroy Brothers Will Be In Trolls World Tour. Not officially endorsed by @bustyasianbeautiespod.)
Full transcript under cut:
C: Hi, Crystal here. We realized a little too late that this episode doesn’t really make sense and is very unfunny without knowledge of the podcast The McElroy Brothers Will Be In Trolls World Tour, so give that a listen or a look first, I suppose. Also, this was originally going to be released on April Fool’s Day, but we decided not to because it would overshadow the BABPod Season 1 finale, so pretend that it is April 1st right now.
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[jumbled piano music vaguely resembling the BABPod theme]
C: Hello, my name is Crystal.
D: I'm Danica.
C: And this is Crystal's Ex-Fiancee Will Be on Busty Asian Beauties, the Busty Asian Beauties fan podcast where I, one of the co-hosts of Busty Asian Beauties...
D: And I, someone who has never been on Busty Asian Beauties...
C: Discuss why my ex-fiancee should be the third co-host of the podcast.
D: Yeah. And of course, all of this is speculative fiction. I will never be on the podcast, and I don't wanna be on the podcast, but also, I will be on the podcast and these are all the reasons why.
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C: So, Danica, tell me about your history with Supernatural and its fandom.
D: [laughs] I started watching it after you got really into it-
C: Mm-hm.
D: And I thought it would be really funny to watch the show for 7 seasons. So I've seen more of it than you have-
C: Yeah.
D: - and just not tell you, and then one day just say like, "I've seen all of Supernatural." But then I kept getting really mad at the show [C laughs] because it sucked so bad. So eventually, like, I felt like I was just making everyone else in my life hate me, so I thought like, okay, well, I have to tell Crystal now. And I got to halfway point in the show!
C: Yeah!
D: So it's perfect. It's like you've never seen it, Grey's seen all of it, and now I'm in the middle.
C: Reason number 1- Danica is a good midway point between me and Grey-
D: Exactly.
C: - in terms of watching Supernatural.
Now, how do you feel about Supernatural and the Supernatural fandom?
D: Um... poorly.
C: Yeah.
D: But if- If I was on BAB and someone gave me money on the Ko-Fi to not feel that way, I would love the Supernatural fandom so much. [C laughs] I could love Dean for $4. [C laughs more]
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C: What are other reasons? That you just don't give a shit about Supernatural? That's a new perspective.
D: Yeah. I can just sit there, and you can all be like, you know, like, "I think Dean is, like, a total monster who's abusing his authority!" and Grey can be like, "I think Dean like, has reasons behind his actions!" and I can be like, "Who cares? Let's go watch freaking like, Bojack Horseman already!" [C laughs] Like-
C: Yeah. A podcast about -
D: Haven't you heard of Steven [in unison] Universe? Like, hello?
What qualities are people seeing in Supernatural that they're not seeing in Steven Universe?
C: Um... misogyny?
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C: Okay, what are other reasons that Danica should be on BABPod?
D: ... Please? Is that- does that count as a reason?
C: I mean-
D: If I just said "Pretty- pretty please?"
C: Yeah, no, that's pretty good. I'll take it.
D: Yeah, okay! There's one.
Maybe we should just split it up.
C: Yeah.
D: So if there were three of us, it could be like, one person's Asian, one of us is busty, and like, one of us is the beauty-
C: [overlapping] Beautiful. Oh!
D: So it's like we all represent like, one.
C: Yeah!
D: Like "Soldier, Poet, King."
C: How would you split "Soldier, Poet, King" in Supernatural?
D: Oh, that's so easy!
C: Like Dean is obviously soldier -
D: Yeah! Literally. And then Sam is k- I would say Sam is king and Cas is- yeah.
C: Yeah! I would- I would also say that Sam is king and Cas is poet, but all the ones that I've watched have Sam as poet and Cas as king.
D: Really? Why?
C: Because-
D: Because Cas is the man who would be king?
C: Um, I think mostly it's just because they only view Sam as like, loreboy, so it's just like Sam is only associated with words and they forgot that he's literally like, the boyking of Hell.
D: That's so silly!
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C: Well, now that the plane has passed, what were we talking about before? Oh, you've watched "Strawberry Blond" video.
D: Yes, I've watched the Destiel "Strawberry Blond" video, yes.
C: And she's read "Twist and Shout."
D: I have skimmed "Twist and Shout," [C laughs] yes.
C: So, really, Danica has learned more from social media about Supernatural than me. [D laughs]
D: I mean, I feel like my Supernatural social media, quote unquote -
C: Uh-huh.
D: - is just, like, talking to you, so...
C: God. Ouch.
D: Yeah. [laughs]
C: We're making a "Twist and Shout" podcast after this one, guys. [D laughs]
D: I will never finish, ever.
C: I am not reading "Twist and Shout."
D: Like I'm- I can't just like, say to myself that like, "I haven't done my readings for my English class, [C laughs] but let me set aside this, like, critical essay by Northrop Fry to like, consume 'Twist and Shout,'" like, honestly, you know?
D: Okay, let's just sit here and go through every single chapter silently, and then-
C: Okay.
D: Okay.
C: So, "Twist and Shout," we start with chapter 1.
D: Yes.
C: Next, we have chapter 2.
D: Good recap, yeah.
C: Chapter 3...
D: Uh-huh.
C: Chapter 4...
D: Sick.
C: Chapter 5...
D: Yeah.
C: Chapter 6?
D: Uh-huh.
C: Chapter... 7!
D: Okay!
C: Chapter 8.
D: Yeah.
C: Chapter... 9?
D: God, it keeps going!
C: Chapter 10.
D: Yeah.
C: Chapter 11-
D: Of course.
C: And ooh, you're gonna like this one. Epilogue!
D: Oh! That's like kinda a plot twist, though!
C: Yeah! It is!
D: 'Cause I really thought you were gonna say chapter 12!
C: Yeah, no!
D: So, there you go, yeah!
C: Yeah, there we go!
D: That was an emotional journey. I can see why this is the top fic on SPN AO3.
C: To be clear, we don't support "Twist and Shout."
D: Is there like a big anti-"Twist and Shout" movement, or do we just all, like, hate it and then move on, like, in our hearts?
C: I... there's not necessarily a movement, more like a general acknowledgement that it's like, very very embarrassing that someone wrote a Vietnam War fic-
D: It's very funny, yeah.
C: - where Cas also dies of AIDS. [D laughs]
[laughing] We're really off-topic. Why else should you be on -
D: [laughing] What is the topic here?
C: I don't know! Why you should be on BABPod?
D: I mean, there are no really good reasons for that, so I can see why we just went off topic.
C: I've been thinking about what it would be like if you were on the "Hammer of the Gods" episode.
[silence]
D: Oh, they- that can't be heard on the audio medium. I'm shaking my head to show that I disapprove of racism. [both laugh]
But you'll find that out. In episode 4.18 of BABPod.
C: Um, isn't "Hammer of the Gods" in season 5 or something?
D: Seriously?
C: Yeah.
D: Okay, that makes sense, I guess.
C: Yeah, 'cause Lucifer's in it, so he had to have been like, let out of the Cage.
D: Oh, god, yeah. This is something that we need to establish is that I forgot all of the Supernatural that I watched. Like, I don't remember any of it.
C: Right.
D: I watched it like, less than a year ago.
C: That's also another perspective.
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D: Okay, we can all agree that nobody wants this to happen.
C: Yeah.
D: Like, literally none of us want me to be on the show.
C: Right, including you.
D: But... but. If this episode gets 10 million listens, [C laughs] then, you have to let me on, because it proves this is what the people need.
Let's go watching freaking Steven Universe already. Like- [laughs]
C: Yeah, let's do that. Okay.
This has been the first episode of Crystal's Ex-Fiancee Will Be on Busty Asian Beauties. And we're gonna go watch Steven Universe now.
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Busty Asian Beauties is a Supernatural commentary podcast hosted by your two asian pals Grey (who has seen the show several times) and Crystal (who only knows the show through social media). Join us twice a week as we do a deep dive on every episode of Supernatural, from start to finish.
In today’s trailer episode, we will be introducing ourselves and answering the burning question: why make one of the most insulting running gags in Supernatural the title of a Supernatural commentary podcast?
A new episode will be released every Tuesday and Friday, so subscribe and don’t miss out! We are currently only available on spotify and anchor, but availability in other platforms will follow.
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