#babylonbee

[godisarepublican]

[dunerun]

Trump Disguises Himself As Muslim Migrant So Europe Will Let Him Invade Greenland

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brilliant stroke of genius, President Donald Trump has just disguised himself as a Muslim migrant so that Europe now

Fucking MAGA geniusness !!!

[nerdygaymormon]

Member Of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints Wishes There Were A Shorter Way To Say Member Of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints

PROVO, UT - After an exhausting conversation with some friends about his church, local member of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints LaDell Ballard wished there were a shorter way members of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints could say they were members of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints.

“While LaDell ordered a twelve-thousand-piece chicken nugget crate, his one wife Maddheleiynne suggested they could come up with some sort of nickname inspired by ancient scriptures, such as the Bible or his religion’s Book of Mormon, but no good nicknames jumped out at them.“

[tristikov]

Media Offers Thoughts And Prayers That Someone Would Start Some Violence At Gun Rights Rally

U.S.—Somber members of the press offered their thoughts and prayers that someone would start some violence at the gun rights rally in Virginia today.Reporters expressed their grief and condolences as the violence they hyped has so far failed to materialize."Nobody has so much as fired a shot. This is an unbelievable tragedy," said one teary-eye …

[christianandnerdy]

“The man who has devoted his life to the teachings of a con artist encouraged the nation to examine its leaders to see whether they are worthy of our devotion and respect.” That pretty much sums up Mitt Romney’s criticism. My honest opinion about the latter day church members is that they are superiorly more moral than their founder Joseph Smith. #mormon #mittromney #josephsmith #babylonbee https://www.instagram.com/p/B8QrITAlzib/?igshid=1hmngkslp6mtx

[christianmaymays-blog]

Theo...what? Thee-ol-uhj-ee? Yeah, I think my grandma had that a while ago. #christianmemes #christians #christianity #christiansatire #babylonbee #thebabylonbee #theology

[dunerun]

Federal Judge Orders Astronauts Be Returned To Space Station

U.S. — A district judge has issued a ruling saying Trump lacked the Constitutional authority to pick up two astronauts who have been strande

[dunerun]

Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky

LOUISVILLE, KY — Representative Thomas Massie has accused the Jewish population of rural Kentucky of being the cause of his primary defeat.