For parents of 5-13 y/o
When I was nannying three boys (at the time, 8,9, and 11) we would have a system called “bad tomorrow”.
“Bad tomorrow” was used for when we were out in public, or it was too late in the night for a formal punishment.
For example: the 8 year old and 11 year old are teaming up against the 9 year old in a restaurant. They are arguing and its starting to get out of hand— issue the “bad tomorrow” warning, making sure each of them heard you clearly, and hope it worked. Depending on age, decide how many warnings they get. These boys got two, because they are intelligent enough to understand that actions have consequences. If they are still fighting, and especially if one child hurts another to make them cry, that’s when you give the strict “bad tomorrow”.
The purpose of it is to protect the kids (and yourself, really) from the public embarrassment of punishment. No one likes the guardian yelling at their child, especially not the guardian or child. So, while still protecting the childs feelings and any possible scrutiny, you get across the message that you were serious, and you will follow through with a punishment.
Then, tomorrow, they get a “bad” day. No electronics. More time outside (with these boys, that often managed how rough they were with one another). More time reading, doing school work, and time one on one. Maybe throw in your own punishment. These kids, they loved their kindles more than life itself, so the threat of having a “bad tomorrow” without them, or any electronics, was usually enough to earn apologies. And sometimes I would have to follow through, but they learned.
In another case, it could be the children being too rowdy late at night, or doing some kind of act that would earn a punishment. Say it’s bedtime and they are being a big brat. Its too late to take away electronics— they’re already away! Instead, they get a “bad morning” or “bad afternoon” warning. This late at night, children are tired and likely to make stupid mistakes they wouldn’t have meant if they were rested. So, you split the punishment. It shows the action was still wrong, but you can understand that they felt off and it was just a bad moment in time.
Okay, hope my “bad tomorrow” advice helped. Best of luck to you incredible parents/guardians/nannys/babysitters/anyone who has to take care of children at that weird stage of life. You got this.
