#bachata team

[youveseen--thebutcher]

Auditions went so well, the current team led a lot of it, I even was a lead for the bachata since it’s our old routine haha. I’m performing with my team on Friday for our latest routine, the Margarita routine with red bodysuit and a black tassel skirt haha. I’m with Brendan for it and I’m excited. I love my teammates and the new routines, salsa footwork with everyone solo as a group, and the ladies styling team. Ugh. I had to leave after we ran the performance bachata team routine as I’ve had a bad migraine and I need some medicine and a nap and some Roro snuggles😢 but I’m happy with today, I slept in and killed it at the gym for a few hours, spent time with my cat and sister and cleaned at my moms house, and then hung out with my honey until I had dance and he seems to be feeling better and not so depressed so I’m glad he’s not suffering, my bb. Overall a good day.

[youveseen--thebutcher]

That was the sweatiest dance class(es) ever. So fucking humid in the studio. 😩 but it was good everyone was happy to see me and the other instructor Clara was especially and kept checking if I was gonna be back and coming regularly. I didn’t cry once so that’s a win, take that depression!!! I caught up, too, so I’m happy. I told the main instructor about why I wasn’t there, how I have depression and took the week to take care of myself and he understood and checked in with me today but not in a overly nice way yk? Ugh. I could tell people wanted to ask but didn’t want to pressure me, I’m still EMOtional but it will pass with time and I’ll be able to open up to them all just so they know for the future. I’m also glad my whole team wasn’t there as those who were missing would’ve been hugging me and worriedly asking where I’ve been and such. 😭💖

There’s a social on Saturday at our studio and while I’m working I can probably make it for performances and social dancing after work. Clara asked me specifically if I was going or not 😢, and about Thursday, too. It’s nice to know I was missed by them. I missed them, too, but when I’m that deep in my depressive funk it’s important I take time for my mental health. And I’m glad I did. I also didn’t want to be a black cloud around practice, and even though I felt like that at times I snapped myself out of it. I’m fired up about it dance all over again haha. I’m excited for this week to unfold. x

[youveseen--thebutcher]

I missed dance class. The patterns today were challenging and full of learning opportunities, so I was happy. Ladies styling is so hard, y’all. But very rewarding aha. 🍒

[youveseen--thebutcher]

Even though as of now I’m not dancing Saturday, I’m at peace with it. I missed two weekend practices due to my family emergency and I get it. But, once there’s a third guy ready, and my dad should be ready, I hope kristian puts me in over the other girl. I didn’t throw a fit or anything because “I worked hard” and “didn’t get picked” and “sacrificed my free time and all these hours”. We ALL worked our asses off, the last two weeks especially. So I don’t wanna hear that bullshit aha. It sucks not to be picked but it’s not fair to everyone else. Pick yourself up and work harder!!!! Get it down, ask what you need to improve.

That’s what I do and did. And by the end of the week we’ll see who gets the third spot. I’ll be performing the next few weekends anyways so I’m not worried at all! But I’m still gonna fight for my spot. Plus, Saturday I can just look bomb as fuck and rock my new heels💞💞 It IS our second year anniversary for our dance company!!

[youveseen--thebutcher]

SO excited for my new dance shoes!!!!!! The black are for practice and socials ($40!!!! Bish whaaaaat!!!) and the right are for our performance!!! The others are expensive, $110 but they’ll last for a few years, and they’re going to be super comfy! Ugh. Heart eyes for days💞💞💞

[youveseen--thebutcher]

During practice today we ran the end of our routine and it feels good to remember and have the steps and just focus on body movement and styling, and I helped my other members for spacing and footwork as well. It feels nice. Spin class was hard, as usual, but I actually felt progress this week and I wasn’t as hard on myself. I’m finally getting it, like it’s finally clicking aha.

My instructors said it’s improving and pointed out a few things to work on and it helped a lot. Spotting is key, locking my arm and not making the prep so big all help so much. Grounding myself, too. We worked on a spin pattern with three doubles, one regular with a prep, one CBL with an arm throw/fake into a inside turn, and then another cbl turn. The guys needed some work for helping us spin as the last two were opposite directions and to be on time we need help hahaha. It was a lot of fun. I’m excited for practice Thursday and Saturday!! The next two weeks will consist of four day practices and it’s a lot but it’s prep/crunch time for our routine!!! I gotta keep grinding at the gym and really hone in on my diet, I know I can do it. I see improvements but consistency is key! (: Tomorrow I have a double at work and during my break I’m gonna gym and practice the routine and styling as well. I’ll get there. Performing on Sunday in the front fanned my fire for performing and my drive to do better and I can’t wait to get back out there. There’s only three couples performing on the 21st at our dance company’s second year anniversary and I will fight for a spot. I know I will make my team and instructors proud.

[youveseen--thebutcher]

Last night our instructors finished our newest routine, and we perform on the 21st. It’s the fastest we’ve learned a routine and I’m SO excited to get our costumes and do it live! I’m praying I’m on the opening team, I’m going to practice my ass off to get on it. There’s only three guys and there’s five girls.... so there’s that haha.

Last night we were doing our final run of the entire choreo and I was with the instructors husband, and he doesn’t know the beginning so we were waiting watching and I was lowkey stepping along until we got to the new section, when the power shut off and everyone screamed hahahaha. It was terrifying and my adrenaline was pumping dude haha. We all grabbed phone lights and I went to the breaker and nothing changed..we opened the hallway door and all the emergency lights were on😰. Needless to say we ended practice and we left as a team hahaha.

[youveseen--thebutcher]

So if I wasn’t in the ER with my man when we had team practice last week I would be performing this Friday. And my instructor forgot I took the days off to come to class/performance. Looooool. 😴😴🙄Imma work instead, my boss is so easy going it’s great so I can just take back my shifts.

Cool.

I’m highkey annoyed since I know I dance better/remember the footwork better than some of them but it’s all good. I hosted extra practice at my place on Sundays and only missed ONE rehearsal due to a concert, I came when I was sick and sat out and watched.... Lol. I’ll work and make money, plus my car is fucked up from the plow and I don’t want to drive it any extra at this point or be out super late Friday. I’m not in a social dancing mood, or fending off men. 🙃

Next performance though? I will be in better shape and I will be performing every. time.

B E T.