27.04.20 - Last week everything felt super tense and tight, like, weirdly tight. My adductors felt like rocks, my back felt stiff as a board, nothing was responding to peanutting or stretching or anything. I took 3 rest days at the end of the week, having had 3 days off at the start of the week too.
Today I felt more normal, so I tried again. Even though my body feels normal again (a little stiff, but no worse than on a bad day), I felt like I’d regressed badly. I tried everything to get my upper back to open up and engage, but it wasn’t happening. This is especially frustrating as last Saturday I had the most amazing session - my upper/mid back were both engaging, there was no pain in my spine at all and I was getting really deep in my stretches. And then today, my flexibility was no better than it was in November. I was so frustrated I spent the second half of my session trying not to cry, but I ended up breaking down after seeing this picture.
Admittedly, this is my “bad” side. I didn’t do my “good” side because my hamstring still hurts, and for some reason this position really aggravated it. And admittedly, I’ve not trained this position for months, because I kept sinking into my lower back and hurting it. But still. It felt so difficult. I struggled with the balance, I struggled getting my back to engage, I struggled extending it. And it’s so frustrating to struggle with something that you used to be envied for. It’s frustrating to work so hard and feel like you’re still going backwards.
Anyway, today I showed up. Today I hated myself and I felt like I couldn’t do it and it was pointless, and I did it anyway. Hopefully that counts for something.