So it was predicted as it would have ever been. I was having yet again another argumentative Valentines. I even tried to avoided it this year, and by avoiding I meant isolating myself from everyone. But no, I had to open my laptop to get on Skype to jump into something entirely unexpected.
I got in a fight with my crush because it has been said around that people were telling him I was telling 'everyone' I was in a relationship with him. Not to mention these were people he and I knew! And we knew only a few friends. I explained to him in my own truthful words because I couldn't lie to him. Lying would make it worst. That I only told four friends that he and I mutually know, but they only knew I really like him, not that I was in a relationship with him. I lie to myself to keep myself going, to have some hope.
But I guess that was my mistake and I apologized and said that person probably misunderstood what I meant and I didn't think of us that way, I only wished it was because I respected his decisions and choices.
I even said in December 2012 that I did respected it and I would much rather have to see him face to face to be together.
After that, I gave him my Valentines gifts. The ones I took a awhile to make. Course he had to help me by critiquing my work and lecturing me on hwo I could make it better. It was okay at first, but then it started to feel like I was being pinned down when he started to point out his friends artwork against mine. It made me feel belittled even when he said he was only trying to help. I hate being emotional.
The day afterwords...
That infuriated me. I confronted him through via text message and asked for a explanation about hat one section.
He explained he was told by someone about the relationship thing as well as this blog. Now don't get me wrong, it's my fault as well. I set up a hidden link so that one day he'll find this, but I didn't expected it to be this soon. So anyway, he said I was practically creeping him out with this blog, as well as artwork being drawing of me and him saying I love you ect.
Not only did he just now took in all of this sudden information, but he got a bunch of sources incorrect.
First of all,
This blog isn't all about him, it's about my feelings and how I deal with life. It says so in my description and it was this blog is for me to look back on my mistakes on things that has impacted a great deal of damage in my life.
Second of all,
I haven't drawn a single of a lovely-dovely artwork of me and him since we last broke up which was back in October. The rest were either friendship drawings or group drawings, so I dont' understand where ehe was going with that.
Third
we already covered this but I already said that I didn't tell the WORLD we are in a relationship. I just said I like him a lot and the only people know who he is and who I am are the four friends I talk to practically everyday. Those four friends are mutual to me and him as well.
Lastly,
he mentioned that he gets the idea it was someone trying to cause trouble between us, AGAIN.
Hence the word, Again.
--- --- ---
After reviewing all the text messages, having a sit and thinking about it clearly. I figured it out who it is.
I can't believe how disappointed I am in this person, nor do I even want to even think why was it even intended in the first place.
All I know now is, I can't even have a normal conversation or even that same friendship bond with my crush anymore. It's like he wants nothing to do with me. The most upsetting this is, I didn't do a single thing. This person , aka ex friend. Ruined everything for me. Ruined my friendship, my small happiness . My friendship with my crush.
I used to think so highly of you, I thought you knew better, yet you hang around at the bottom with dirty scum like her. I think I might've just lost all my respect for you.
