How to have the perfect Saturday: first, make sure it’s the birthday of someone you like very much but rarely get to see. Also it helps if they have a dachshund.
Add sriracha candied bacon, bacon s’mores, bacon chocolate chip cookies, bacon dark chocolate covered pretzels, bacon tater tots, bacon brown sugar monkey bread, bacon wrapped grilled pineapple, bacon grease brownies, and a couple platters of just your basic thick, perfect bacon. And in case you want some non-meat with your meat, also include chocolate chip cookie dough dip, glitter dusted ginger snaps, and mini champagne cupcakes and hell maybe even some vegetables.
Then mix in like two bottles of champagne per person, make sure you have no plans on Sunday morning, and you have done it: the perfect Saturday.