Day 5: Memes for @baconcolaweek and it's finally not as short as the last two! Also on AO3
Memes used:
"I Open The Window For A Second To Let A Fly Out And 10 Flies, 6 Mosquitoes, 3 Moths, 2 Mice, and A Jehovah's Witness Gets In."
"It's So Hot In My Van, Two Hobbits Threw A Ring In It."
The weather is predicted to be in 32° highs, humidity high, and little wind for relief. Heat haze rises from asphalt and cars alike, unifying in a dizzying mirage. Opening the door results in a blast of air so hot, you’d think you just took a steam iron to the face. It’s a perfect day to stay inside.
Edd has other plans that nature cannot stop.
He sets two bags and the cooler by the front door, checks he has everything then double checks again. He asked Tom to check the car earlier although he still hasn’t come back inside yet. Edd spares a second to wonder what’s keeping him, then shrugs and ambles up the stairs. Edd knocks on Tord’s door and goes in without waiting for a response. His boyfriend is spread eagle on the ground, a wind machine on full blast in front of his face and wet towels covering him.
“Hey, you ready for the pool?” A groan answers Edd. “I know, Baby, but the pool will be more refreshing than the bathtub.”
Tord lifts the hand towel on his face. “Elskede, when I looked outside, a tree caught fire. I bet it’s still burning too.”
“You’re exaggerating. See, it’s fine.” Edd opens a window, jumps back as ten flies, six mosquitoes, three moths, two mice, and Tom crawls through it. Unnoticed, a fly swoops out only to plummet to the ground.
“Edd, it’s so hot in the car, two hobbits came around and threw a ring in it.” Tom fans his face, panting like he ran a marathon. Tord throws his hand towel to him, sympathy plain in his expression.
“Why did you climb—never mind, I’ll get you a glass of water then we can go to the pool,” Edd says, ignoring the aggravated groans at his announcement.
After popping into the kitchen and getting the water, Edd passes Matt’s room. He knocks, but doesn’t barge in this time.
“Matt, are you ready for the pool?”
He opens the door, eyes wide in horror. “You want us to go out there? Have you lost your marbles?”
“It’s not that bad. Tom went out and he’s fine.”
Said man wobbles his way out of Tord’s room, takes the glass from Edd, downs it like a tequila shot, and stumbles to his room. Matt shoots Edd a disbelieving glare after he’s safely inside.
“That’s your definition of ‘fine’, mate?”
Edd has no response other than a sheepish smile. Matt shakes his head and closes the door. Dejected, he goes to Tord’s room and flops onto the bed. Tord cracks an eye open and moves his head to face Edd’s direction.
“Nobody wants to go to the pool?”
He gazes at Tord with wide, sad eyes, bottom lip in a quivering pout. Tord slaps his hands over his eyes the second the sight registers in his dazed mind. He whines, all puppy high notes and needy. Tord whimpers softly in return and curls up on his side away from Edd.
“Tord, Baby, Sweetie, Honeybunch, Love, Angel, Sugar,” Edd singsongs, sure of his victory.
“Okay, fine, we’ll go together.” Tord caves, unsticking himself from the floor to look for his swimming trunks. “Anything for you, kjære.”
Edd cheers and pulls out his phone for a victory photo. It ends up featuring the burning tree viewable through the window, but his winning smile and Tord’s adorably grumpy face distracts from it.
