#bad idea!!!!

[arborix]

I need to try and draw my neglected ocs more

[lovelyirony]

You’ve Got Me Seeing Stars

Steve remembers that Tony really likes art. He loves seeing all different sorts of it, and it goes through phases. He has his modern art that’s all glass and clear and transparent. He has his paintings that are blurry and have soft smiles carved in and Steve likes those paintings. He has his hyperrealistic paintings, though those tend not to stay as often. 

Steve wishes that life would stop sometimes. He doesn’t want to die or anything, but he just wishes that time could freeze and he could breathe. He remembers feeling like that in the army, too. With soldiers dying and guns rattling and breathing shaking. It was like one of the dances Bucky always dragged him to went off-kilter. 

Tony was never like that. At least, not around the public. He never stopped, just kept on going like a hurricane of words and biting remarks and smiles that always seemed genuine even if they weren’t. Tony talked and talked and Steve wondered how he did it. 

They would go to an art museum sometimes. Always incognito. Tony laughed when Steve showed up wearing a Captain America sweatshirt and Tony was wearing actual, regular jeans that didn’t cost half a human body to wear. They weren’t personally tailored, marked, and Tony’s wearing a perfectly normal shirt and sweatshirt. It’s relaxing, to see such a man humbled by what he wears. 

They walk in. Tony talks about coming here once or twice with Jarvis. Seeing art. There was this painting of a woman that had been his favorite. A coy little smile, as if she always knew a secret that you never did. Steve found the painting unsettling. The woman smiled like she was Natasha, but lighter. As if she didn’t care whether or not your secret was exposed. Steve can’t look her in the eye. 

Tony likes sculptures. How long they take, how dedicated someone must have been to finish it. “Not your speed,” Steve teases. 

“It’s my speed, just slower-paced,” Tony says with a shrug. “Haven’t I finished the suits, the technology?” Steve nods. He always manages to say the wrong things. But Tony smiles and asks if he wants to go see modern art. 

Steve finds that he can’t stand modern art. It’s all just stupid. It’s plain paintings that Steve could have practiced on. A blue square was considered a criticism of truth or whatever bullshit the man thought of. Tony liked making fun of them. 

Tony likes windows and clear art. He looks through window panes to the outdoor exhibits that kids are climbing all over. He smiles as the stained glass dappling his hand walking past a church. He buys all sorts of weird glass or crystal objects, and he laughs when Bruce gives him a glass Iron Man. Steve asks him about it once. 

“You can see through it all, no bullshit,” Tony says. Steve can get behind that. He likes the truth, no bullshit added. He can’t always have that, but he likes it. 

Until there is broken glass lying on the floor of a secret base and Steve leaves and goes to Wakanda and they also have wide glass and he just can’t fucking do it anymore. He looks through glass and sees things, but he can’t look too long. Tony smiling in there, talking about absolute truths and his crystal figures and art. 

Steve can’t draw on any of the tablets Shuri offers him. “It would be much more efficient,” she says. “You have been trying to draw that thing for weeks now, and the paper will give you. You can erase it on this program.” 

“I know,” Steve says simply. “I know.” 

He crumples the paper, eyes that can never get the right genius to them, and tells Natasha that they are still Avengers and have places to defend. 

Everything turns to shit, as usual. Steve isn’t really surprised by this. He sees buildings go down, the architecture ruined. Tony would hate seeing that, but Tony isn’t here. 

Fucking aliens. Why is it always aliens that pull this shit? Steve fights and fights, and he’s angrier because nothing ever stops. 

People fade. Steve chokes as he looks for Sam, everyone looking, and they can’t find him. T’Challa fading and Okoye showing emotion for probably the first time that Steve has seen, and Steve hates that he’s trying not to think about Tony crumbling to dust. 

Tony Stark comes down to earth. Steve looks at him with a careful smile, and Tony grins back as if nothing ever happened, as if he’s totally okay, except the smile looks like it’s about to leave if something sad happens. 

“So, who else is dead here?” And Steve has to pretend like everything is fine, like he’s not gonna stare at Tony because he’s here now, he’s safe, and yeah. 

“We’re in this together,” he says instead. And Tony looks at him, head cocked. 

“We are, aren’t we?” (Because it’s such a surprise after everything, after being on opposite sides, but damn it’s good to be back.) 

They fight. Thanos is one ugly son of a bitch to fight, and Steve gives it his all. Tony fights like his family is gone, and maybe it is somewhere, but they fight like that. 

And it works. 

A stone cracks. People pour out. T’Challa, Spider-Man, Sam. Steve nearly cries with relief as Sam raises an eyebrow. 

“Need some help, Cap?” 

“Yeah,” Steve responds tiredly. “We really do.” And Tony grins as he sees Spider-Man, who attacks him in a hug and Tony hugs back just as fervently and Steve feels like he missed something. 

“No more hugs until this purple nutjob is dead,” Tony says. “Alright team, let’s do this.” 

Tony is always one step ahead of everyone else. He always saw the paintings’ meanings before Steve ever did, saw the outcome. Steve remembers that on one trip, Tony was walking like he memorized everything about the museum. 

“I’m always ahead,” he had bragged. “Come on Cap, let’s go get some coffee.” Tony was smart, blisteringly so at times. He would come out of the workshop burnt up and smile and say that he’d be back within the hour to do some extra work. 

He has a plan for the infinity stones and the gauntlet, and Steve nearly breaks when he realizes what Tony is doing. 

“You can’t,” Steve says. “You’re going to die.” 

“Better one than all,” Tony responds. “Besides, Cap. You know that something had to be done.” 

“Not this,” Steve says. “You always said that there are other solutions to equations, and we’re in this--” 

“Don’t,” Tony nearly whispers. “Don’t try and talk me out of it. Don’t convince me to stay.” 

“Why don’t you stay?” Steve says. He’s looking up at Tony like a sinner in need of forgiveness, and maybe he is. But he wants Tony to stay. 

“Mr. Stark--” Peter starts in, tears welling up. And Tony nearly cracks there, Steve knows it, but the stones light up. 

There is nothing but a peaceful man. Slightly burnt. And it is over, and people are smiling but fuck it all if Steve can’t. He looks up at the sky, sees the blurring colors, sees the resemblance to Starry Night,and knows that it’s Tony final goodbye. Steve doesn’t necessarily dislike the painting, it’s just that he thinks it’s overrated. He likes others better. He’s always been more of a Sargent guy anyway, or a Monet. Never Van Gogh. Indifference. 

Steve laughs. It’s such a Tony thing to do. 

[swaggot-number2]

should i use a safety pin to pierce myself…. so tempted

[teenycries]

my eyes are tired and already miss nash so bad and i just wanna sleep for like 10 hours

[belovedgoofball]

Tried to make the custard base for vanilla ice cream and accidentally scrambled the eggs ughhh

[icanseeyourholo]

-

[whiteroombanshee]

Don't have crushes on friends!!!!!!