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The Double Date

Kurtis asked for a fanfic about a double date with Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates. My dream is for them to make a video about it. I wrote it to make them laugh.

Based on a true story

Kurtis walked down the busy sidewalk, hand in hand with his lover. It was their 6 month anniversary, and they were going to a new fancy restaurant for their date. He smiled at Bill, his heart beating faster with excitement. Suddenly, he felt a thump and fell backwards. Kurtis mumbled a “Sorry,” as Bill helped him up. Kurtis looked up at the person he had run into. He couldn’t hide the gasp that escaped his mouth.

“Hey, Kurt.” Danny said, a cool smirk on his face.

“Danny?” Kurtis said, still in shock. Bill stuck out his hand. “Hi there, I’m-”

“Bill Gates?!” Danny stepped back in surprise before shaking Bill’s hand. “Not bad at all, Conner”

Kurt looked at the person at Danny’s side. “Is that…?”

“Jeff Bezos.” Danny said, nodding.

Jeff shook Kurt’s hand. “Hey Kurtis, I’ve heard alot about you.”

Kurtis wondered what that meant. What had Danny said about him? Bill brought him back. “Babe, we’re gonna miss our reservation.”

Kurt looked at Danny. “Yeah, sorry, we should go. We have a reservation at that new restaurant by-”

“I could eat.” Danny said, cutting him off.

“Well-” Kurtis started to object when Bill interrupted. “The more the merrier,” He smiled and squeezed Kurt’s hand.

Walking to the restaurant, Kurtis was quiet. He hadn’t seen Danny since the breakup. They had texted each other a few times, and they were still friends, but it had been almost a year since he’d seen him in person.

Once they were in the restaurant, Kurtis had calmed down a little. He was telling the story of how he met Bill on Tinder, and how their first date was at a charity event. That was where Kurtis came up with the nickname ‘Daddy Warbucks’ after he dared Bill into making a large donation to an orphanage. Bill lifted Kurt’s hand and pecked his knuckle. Kurt blushed, embarrassed. “Anyway, how’d you two meet?”

Danny laughed. “Well he actually saw our minecraft videos and dm’d me to congratulate me after we beat it. We didn’t start dating until later, though. I’m glad I met my Iron Daddy.” He smiled at Jeff, kissing him on the cheek.

Kurtis felt a squeeze in his heart. He used to be Danny’s Iron Daddy. He thought back to the old days. He loved Danny’s minecraft talk. “I’d love to explore your daddielands,” He heard Danny’s voice echoing in his mind. He remembered Danny giving him the sex eyes, and he looked up to see those same eyes, now looking at Jeff.

The rest of dinner, Kurtis was conflicted. He had all but forgotten about his feelings for Danny, but tonight was bringing it all back.

Jeff’s phone rang, and he explained it was a work emergency. He handed Danny a roll of cash to call an uber, before leaving.

Kurtis stood up, “We should get going, too.” He grabbed Bill’s hand and started pulling him out. Bill scribbled out a quick check for the dinner, and they left.

Danny followed them out. “Wait, Kurtis!”

“I’ll go get the car. You two should talk.” Bill said, giving him a kiss.

“Thanks honey.” Kurtis said, half hoping he would stay. He turned to Danny. “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry. I got carried away, it’s just that, seeing you with him… Reminded me of us. The house has been lonely without you. I thought I could fill the hole in my heart with Jeff, but…”

“But what? We’re both with other people now. You look happy with Jeff.” Kurtis said, folding his arms.

“It’s just not the same. You were the one that was there for me after Drew died. I didn’t think I’d ever love again.”

Kurtis noticed his heart beating faster. Danny still loved him? But Kurtis was with Bill now, and loved him.

“Kurtis, if you can tell me honestly that you have no feelings for me, I’ll leave you alone.”

Kurtis was quiet for a moment. He shook his head. “I can’t.”

Before Danny could say anything, Kurt’s phone started to ring. “Hello?” Kurtis said.

“Kurtis, it’s Drake from Drake and Josh. I have to tell you something about Danny.”

Kurt glanced up at Danny. “What is it?”

“He kidnapped Josh.”

Kurtis almost dropped his phone. He and Josh had hooked up a few times, but they had to stop because Josh was married. Did Drake find out? Kurtis wondered why Drake would call him.

“Act natural, don’t tip him off. I know you’re with him. Danny is blackmailing me into helping him get back with you. I’m across the street watching you right now.”

Kurtis could hardly breathe. Was this really happening? He swallowed. “It’s my mom, I’ll be right back.” Kurtis said to Danny before turning the corner, out of hearing range.

“Drake? What should I do?”

“I need you to leave with him. Pretend like everything is okay and we’ll catch him off guard. Maybe if you agree to go out with him, he’ll tell me where he’s holding Josh.”

“I can try.”

“Text me once you’ve left.”

“Okay.”

Kurtis gulped and walked back to Danny. “Wanna go back to your place?”

Danny and Kurtis went back to the house they used to share. Kurtis texted Bill that he would be home late, assuring him that everything was okay. Little did he know it was anything but. Kurtis sat on the couch, noticing that everything was mostly the same as it had been a year ago. Danny came out from the kitchen with two glasses of wine. He handed one to Kurt and sat on the couch. Kurtis was suspicious of the wine but tried not to show it. He quickly set it down and kissed Danny. He kept his lips planted as he took Danny’s wine and placed it next to his on the table. It seemed to work, because Danny smiled, not seeming to care about the drinks anymore.

“Wanna take this to our room?” Danny said.

Kurtis faked a smile and nodded, letting Danny pull him to the room. Kurtis went directly to the closet, and found a box of their things, left untouched for a year. He found exactly what he needed. He flashed Danny a smile and held up the handcuffs.

Danny smirked and raised his eyebrows.

Kurtis breathed a sigh of relief. He was into it. Danny let Kurtis handcuff him to the bed frame. Kurtis then ran out of the room, bringing back a hostage of his own. Danny’s beloved nutcracker. Danny looked confused.

“Danny, where are you keeping Josh?”

Danny looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t act dumb. I know you have him, and if you don’t tell me where he is, I’ll destroy the nutcracker.”

“Wait no!! Kurtis, I really have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Kurtis heard a pounding noise in the bathroom. “Don’t move.” He said to Danny, before cautiously opening the bathroom door. There was Josh, tied up with tape over his mouth.

Kurtis gasped. He kneeled and untied him. Josh ripped the tape off his face. “Kurtis!” They hugged. Kurtis took Josh to the kitchen. “I’ll be back.”

He went back to Danny’s room. “You have sixty seconds to explain what the hell is going on.”

“Kurtis, I have no idea, you’ve gotta believe me. I don’t know how he got in there.”

“Danny, you kidnapped him!!”

“I didn’t! I swear! Please Kurtis, you know I could never do something like this! Check the security camera footage on my phone!”

Kurtis grabbed Danny’s phone and went to the Ring doorbell app. He saw two people had entered the house an hour ago. It was… Drake and Josh? Danny was nowhere to be found.

“Show me,” Danny said.

Kurtis turned the screen to him. “Drake helped him frame me.” Danny said. “But… Why?”

Kurtis unlocked the handcuffs. “Let’s go find out.”

Danny and Kurtis walked out to the kitchen. Josh looked up and saw them together. He gulped. “Kurtis?”

“Drop it. We know you faked it. Why?”

Josh sighed. “Okay, okay. I wanted to make Danny the bad guy so you would get back together with me.”

“What?” Danny and Kurtis said at the same time.

“That doesn’t make sense. You’re with Drake.” Kurtis said.

Josh shrugged “Oh, yeah. He’s okay with it. He even helped me cause he wanted to threesome.”

Danny and Kurtis looked at each other and laughed. Josh laughed too.

“Nah man, you’re crazy. We’re calling the cops.” Kurtis said.

After Drake and Josh were arrested, Kurtis and Danny talked. Kurtis went back to Bill, and Danny studied the Dark Arts to revive Drew from the dead.

What the fuck was the point of this.

#fanfic #kurtis conner #danny gonzalez #baddiesmp

Hello fello baddies enjoy a Baddie SMP background.

When the boys were “fighting” last stream I saw someone in chat say “baddies aren’t always besties,” and I have not stopped laughing. Featuring the iconic torch block, of course. This is my promise to meme until the torch block is the symbol of baddie lore.

Feel free to use, but don’t repost!

#Baddie SMP #bsmp #danny gonzalez #danny goonzalez #kurtis conner #kurtis poggers #danny gamezelez #baddiesmp