Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut: ⭐! But maybe talk about an aspect of a fic you changed last minute? Up to you!
I have a very recent example of this, actually!
Half of Me, chapter 8 of Fugue, gave me fits. I wrote the first draft in December 2020, when I was burned up creatively, and getting what I got on paper required pulling teeth. It was excruciating. And then it sat for about a year and a half. Occasionally I picked at it, but never more than pick. Then I finished Cantata and came back to Fugue, which meant turning the lights back on for a story that is very complex and very difficult to write. Getting back in the right headspace was a hell of a thing, and I was working with a draft that hadn't been clicking quite right when I wrote it.
That chapter needed to punch on a lot of different levels, and it just wasn't punching hard enough. I needed to capture Kaidan floundering in a state of purgatory, unable to go back where he wants to go but unwilling to move forward, and then being forced to reckon with a world that was moving on whether he liked it or not, forcing him to choose whether or not to move along with it.
This was very hard to accomplish, lol.
I rewrote it three times, all three with pretty substantial changes. The final draft re-ordered scenes, changed the location and context of a scene, and added new scenes. Several of those eleventh-hour changes gave me the punch I needed:
Kaidan forgetting to pick up the eggs and berating himself for not being able to complete simple tasks.
Breaking the light bulb.
Reflecting on the 'Yang after finding Sam's shirt.
There were a lot more little adds that helped me thread in a sense of helplessness and anger that were just missing from the other iterations, but those are the bigger ones. And if none of these sound familiar, it's because you probably read the earlier draft I originally uploaded by mistake. 😩
(That mistake as since been corrected, but I'm still upset about it).
The project is complete and I can finally share! Here is my handbound double-sided book of fics by the awesome @bagog, namely ‘One New Message Waiting’ and ‘Someone’s Waiting.’ The dust jacket and title page art are original drawings by myself, as well as a special illustration in the middle where the two stories meet. Thank you so much to bagog for the blessing and the amazing stories you’ve written. Everyone please go read their work, they’re truly a gifted writer.
Fandom: Mass Effect
Pairing: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
One New Message Waiting
Someone’s Waiting
Keep reading for pictures of construction and the art inside!
Handsewn headbands my beloved. Used plain black, so that the focus wouldn’t be taken away from the jacket and endpapers.
And flipped over:
And the art in the center, where the stories connect. Given one is an AU of the other, acknowledging that in the meta felt appropriate.
3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer. •Writing OC’s. I guess I’ve done reader inserts in a way?23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? •MUSIC!!!!33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? •That my writing style is sometimes lyrical or rhythmic. That’s one I remember off the top of my head.41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written? I guess Zaeed. I wasn’t even intending on writing him to be quite honest. I didn’t even get him for awhile, but it only took one dream to set things into motion then it was all downhill from there.Weird thing is, whenever I have a dream about a character, I can usually get a better feel for them. Like some small detail like the way they smell, or something they’re feeling in the dream, something about their presence, or how they kiss. Yes, Zaeed was a semi-sex dream. It was a little weird but I remember kissing him. Then I went on to write like a four part thing about Shaeed.Thanks B <3 You rock <3
I write a lot of Mass Effect shorts that get posted once and then never again. Been asked a few times to make a Master List of all my fanfic stuff by year, so here we go!
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Original Works
New Skill Set
Post-war, Shepard confronts his trauma and masters all new skills to be a good father for his and Kaidan’s son, Sean. Fluffy, sweet, and domestic.
An Expert on Bad Dreams
Unconventional Swim Instructor
Post-War Parallels
A series in which the ‘same story’ is alternated between a universe where Shepard did not survive the war, and one where he did. Angsty, bitter-sweet lovey dovey, and angsty, respectively.
One New Message Waiting
Someone’s Waiting
Backlogged Messages
N7 Hoodie - Kaidan sorts through Shepard’s belongings after he has died. Short, angsty.
Ask Box Fills
I am always super stoked to fill any random request that comes into my ask box, and in 2015 I posted a lot of Ask Memes. Below are the meme’s filled according to character and then prompt. They range in length from 100-1000 words.
MShep x Joker -Surprisingly popular and the fans are great.
“Going to Need You to Put Some Underwear On...“
“Leave Me to Die--No Wait! Just Kidding, please help!”
First Time Cooking For Each Other
Mshenko - Much love for the OTP
‘Shh, that’s the Sound of Me Falling in Love with You‘
‘Paid to Punch You in the Face’ Continued here...
The Fake ID with @gayscottryder‘s Cal Shepard OC
Falling asleep on a date
Trembling Hands
Comfort Food, More Comfort Food
When Words Aren’t Enough
Coming Home, part 2
Yawn and Stretch
Fire, Flames and Excessive Heat
One Missed Call
Other Prompts
James and Kaidan and the Cat
Legion - The Skirt is Short on Purpose
EDI - Someone’s Greatest Fear
Archives of Special Runs
Where I try as often as possible to engage in theme weeks/months or make my own mini-series when the right request strikes me.
Sometimes I see a someone else’s headcanon and just start writing.
Kaidan and Shepard both Make it to the Citadel...
Kaidan and Shepard, SoulMate AU
Same Old Places - a drabble based on @ltleflrt‘s Feels Like Home AU
Kaidan and Shepard - AU Shepard is the one who gets hurt on Mars
More below the cut!
Longer Prompt Fills
These fics are gifts or prompt fills that got longer than intended and became proper one-shots. Many are cross-posted to AO3, though some are not. AO3 links will be provided through the tumblr link, should you wish to see them there. They are Mshenko unless otherwise stated.
Things that Change, Things that Stay the Same
Inspired by @shepard-alenko‘s story Household Hoodies, a number of thematically connected threads showing the progress of their relationship and Shepard’s healing post-war, centering around the boys wearing and sharing each others’ hoodies
Thinking Back
Ben Shepard and Kaidan lie in the snow, and consider when they first knew they loved each other.
Two Rings
Far future where Shep and Kaidan have been married for years, and are still on missions together... sort of.
Pillows and Photographs
Post-war, Shepard is finally ready to sleep in a bed again. Kaidan has been making himself sick keeping a watchful eye over his recovery, but now they can both rest.
In London
Post-war, Shepard and Kaidan are making a modest living, thinking about Kahlee Sanders and David Anderson. Flashback to the first night Anderson moved into his Citadel apartment.
A Perfect Memory
In a conversation with Thane, Kaidan realizes why all of his memories of Shepard are so muddied and hard to make sense of. He realizes he is in love with Shepard.
There Are Things I wanna Say
The end of the end. After a long and wonderful life together, Shepard attends Kaidan at his deathbed. It was always a gamble who would reach the finish line first and who would go on alone.
Starting From Scratch
Post-war, Shepard and Kaidan take a well-deserved camping trip to settle down and get to know each other. Fluffy and warm.
Interspecies Cooperation
Reapers defeated, Javik reflects on his relationship with his own kind and with other races at a post-war conference for interspecies cooperation.
There, that’s all of 2015! Always love knowing what your favorites were, what you might like to see more of, or hearing requests!
I’ve had some requests to post more of these on AO3, does that seem like a thing I should do? Or would that be muddy and complicated? Any thoughts welcome. Thanks very much for always supporting me and for taking part in this game that has meant so much to me.
