What Is Tumblr? Oh no.

An open notebook where I practice daily character sketches, appreciate the drawings that inspire me, and discuss all matters of characterization, peppered with an occasional ramble. Tell me a character you want to see. Let's do it.

[bagog]

Tumblr gets a lotta shit, but every time I'm away from it for a while or have spent substantial time on Instagram, reddit, or Facebook, my tumblr dash is like a sip of cold lemonade after toiling in the social media mines.

[urdnotflexthejedibard]

I need someone - not me - maybe me - please not me - to research and write about the similarities between fandom and religion.

Because I swear to Blorbo on High that the Venn Diagram of obsession, self-perpetuating toxicity, and in-group exclusivity is a circle.

[bagog]

Did the laziest of searches and this isn't exactly what you're looking for, but the final sentence of the Abstract begins to creep into that territory...

[bagog]

Hello! Fell in complete and utter love with The Difference Between The Sea And The Sky. Your take on Mshenko and the entire mass effect universe really is nothing short of spectacular!

That being said, I'd love to see how Mshenko talking about Council politics would play out, maybe set post- ME3 war?

Hey wow! Thank you so much for letting me know you liked The Difference between the Sea and the Sky! I'm super flattered people are reading it still, and I'm so grateful you let me know! Hmm, I would need to think about how Kaidan and Shepard would talk about Council politics post Reaper war! I would like to think they'd be outspoken advocates of better representation on the Citadel council for all the Citadel races. There are so many variables! I will need to think about it, but if I ever come up with a fun narrative for it, I'll definitely post it here!

Thanks again!

[bagog]

how about 3 & 16

Thanks!

3. What are you looking forward to right now?

I've been working on and off on a customizable card game. I am looking forward to more playtesting to figure out if it's actually gonna work as a game!

16. What's a piece of advice you'd give yourself from five years ago?

Oh man. I guess my advice to myself five years ago would be "Do not depend on official channels helping you, make peace with the fact that you have been wronged and try to realize it doesn't define you. Also, take your anti-depressants. You don't have to feel that suicidal."

[bagog]

1 and 11 :D

Thanks!

Where does your blog title come from?

I'm assuming my blog title is 'bagog', which was a nonsense word I thought sounded funny with the word 'blog'. Bagog's blog. The blog o' bagog. See, it's fun! If the blog title means the text at the top of my blog when you go to it, it says "What is tumblr? Oh no" because I didn't understand tumblr and I still don't because I have to ask the question of what the blog title is...

11. What type of music is stuck in your head a lot these days?

So, for context, I always have a song in my head and I honestly have no control over what song it is. I had "Evil Woman" by ELO stuck in my head as I was having the most painful conversation of my life, which is a surreal thing. But, that said, I woke up in the middle of the night and had "Fire" by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown stuck in my head. Currently, it's "Cut to the Feeling" by Carly Rae Jepsen.

[bagog]

6 and 13!!

Thanks!

6. What is your hair routine?

It's kinda stupid, it's like: shampoo, 2 conditioners, blow dry, hair clay, beard oil. I use ludicrously expensive hair clay because it smells the Best Ever.

13. What's something you learned recently?

This is actually something I've harped on for a while, but I've recently been reading about it again and I want to shout about it from the rooftops: Stockholm Syndrome is not a thing. Please skim the Wikipedia. It's invented by a misogynist to explain why a group of mostly women wouldn't trust the police. It's so fraught, y'all. Please spread this message.

[sesamie]

simple asks to help bolster ask culture again

What's your blog title from?

What movie have you watched most recently? What did you think of it?

what are you looking forward to right now?

if you could do anything at all today, what would it be?

What's your drink of choice? (Coffee/tea order, alcohol of choice, pop, etc)

What's your hair routine like? Anything special?

what's your favorite way to travel? Is there a mode of travel you haven't done that you want to experience?

favorite month of the year and why?

favorite time of day and why?

do you play or follow any sports? & elaborate on that?

what kind of music is stuck in your head a lot lately?

dishes or laundry?

what's something you learned recently?

if you could give a TED talk on anything, what would you talk about?

What's a piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot?

what's a piece of advice you would give to yourself five years ago?

do you believe in luck and superstition? Do you carry any lucky items or follow any lucky rules?

Are you musical? Play any instruments or sing? Would you ever perform for an audience?

Write, type, or speak?

what do you wish someone would ask you?

[bagog]

I never use my notes app, but tonight I opened it by accident and noticed I had apparently blearily tried to write down a dream or something... I have no memory what any of it means... but I suspect it was indeed me

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Directory

Here's the directory for any of the stories I wrote for N7 Month, 2025. If that interests anyone. Day 1: Start Mshenko. Shepard plays a game based on his own actions in the war. He reads a review from a fan.

Day 2: Hubris Miranda Lawson begins to realize the Illusive Man does not have her best interests in mind.

Day 3: Futility What if the Reapers' whole plan was futile? What if someone told them?

Day 4: One Enemy The Omega street preacher accuses EDI before a crowd

Day 5: Grief EDI contemplates Joker's inevitable demise, seeks guidance from Shepard.

Day 6: Zero G Mshenko. Shepard has a panic attack while Kaidan practices Zero G tactics.

Day 8: Propaganda Kaidan and Tali go shopping for Omni-tools. It does not go as expected.

Day 9: Fracture pre-Mshenko. Kaidan keeps Shepard company in the medbay. The seeds of their inevitable fracture are sown.

Day 10: Public Relations Shepard is shocked to discover that Spectres have their own PR department.

Day 11: Imperialism A batarian PSA commercial.

Day 12: Free Fall A krogan battle master defeated in the Battle of the Citadel reflects on where he went wrong.

Day 13: Long Distance A human and elcor are dating each other and making it work long distance.

Day 14: Nebula A little poem about nebulae from a quarian children's book

Day 15: Folly Matriarch Benezia believes she can control the power Saren wields.

Day 16: Theatre Mshenko. Kaidan and Shepard drive home from a performance of Thorton Wilder's Our Town.

Day 17: Memorial Mshenko. Kaidan and Shepard reflect on Normandy's memorial wall.

Day 18: Catharsis The Reaper Catharsis seeks to destroy a planet with a small population of humans.

Day 19: Letter The Armax Arsenal Arena send Shepard a letter.

Day 20: Faith Udina wants Kaidan as a Spectre.

Day 21: Truth Urdnot Bakara and Mordin Solus have a conversation about the truth.

Day 22: Beauty Mshenko. A little story of Shepard appreciating beauty in unlikely places.

Day 23: Gift Mshenko. Kaidan gets Shepard a little something for their anniversary.

Day 24: Settle Shepard and Javik have a conversation about saving the galaxy.

Day 25: Transmission After her trial, Tali is listening to conservative quarian talk-radio

Day 26: Dawn The first hour of the new quarian calendar.

Day 27: One Song Shepard loves and appreciates the Galaxy Map's menu music.

Day 28: Repair EDI and Legion have a conversation about life.

Day 28 Again: Repair Again Shepard tries to get his favorite ME1 armor fixed.

Day 29: Recovery Shepard receives well-wishes from friends as he recovers.

Day 30: End Shepard writes a review of the video game he set out to play on Day 1: Start.

------------

There we go! Quarians were really popular this year, apparently, as was EDI. For what it's worth, my favorites to write were Days 6, 8, 12, 13, 14, 22, 25, 26.

If you read any of these, lemme know your favorite? This is the last year of N7 Month prompts. It's been a real honor writing them for you all (you both, honestly, lol). I know I don't write fanfic as much as I used to, but I thank you very much for reading and for sticking around.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Day 29: Recovery

Nominally an mshenko thing. Silly little nonsense.

++

Shepard was alive, and he had to remind himself of this every day. Harbinger had tried to kill him. The Crucible had tried to kill him. But he was alive, laid up in a hospital in London while the galaxy slowly began to pick up the pieces from the Reaper war.

It was the first time since he had regained consciousness that he could somewhat move in his bed. His hospital room was strewn with flowers, though he couldn’t make out the tags, and on his bedside was a thin data pad. He picked up the data pad with shaky hands: the words ‘Feel Better Soon!’ greeted him, along with a soft jingle of music.

“Hi Shepard,” Garrus’ voice now played over the light melody. “Hope you’re feeling better than you look. Get better soon so we can talk it over at the bar, alright?”

“Shepard,” Steve’s voice this time. “A hero deserves a hero’s rest! Take all the time you need, but for your sake, I hope the recovery is quick.”

“Hey Loco,” James Vega’s voice. “Been no fun hitting the bag, lately. Get better so we can spar a little bit, huh?”

“Hello Commander!” It was Traynor’s voice. “Don’t worry about a thing while you’re healing, we’ve got everything under control. Feel better!”

“Shepard, don’t let the hospital make you feel crazy,” Joker’s voice came next. “And ask for the good stuff if you’re hurting. I have a feeling they won’t be stingy towards the guy who just saved all their asses.”

“Hi Shepard,” Tali spoke from the data pad. “I wanted to be there when you woke up, but the doctors weren’t letting anyone in. You’re in good hands, Shepard, and we’re all waiting for you.”

“We’re all wishing you the best, Shepard.” Liara’s soft voice, “You’re going to be better before you know it, I’ve pulled some strings to make sure you’ll have the best care while you’re recovering. See you soon, my friend.”

“Shepard,” Kaidan’s voice, at last. “I’m not leaving the hospital till they let me see you, but until I can, I want you to know that I love you, and I’ll see you soon.”

The lilting jingle came to an end and the data pad went dark. Shepard stared down at the Get Well card for a long moment, a soft smile on his face. Recovery was looking like a long road, but it looked like he wouldn’t be alone on the journey.

[bagog]

Oh I accidentally did two stories for the Repair day prompt. Woops, sorry everyone.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Day 28: Repair

Silly, but I'm still trying to get them all!

++

He had already asked around Nos Astra, but none of the vendors seemed interested in helping him. So, Shepard had returned to Zakera ward: maybe an older store on the Citadel could help him where the bleeding-edge tech companies on Illium could not.

The local Hahne-Kedar outlet was dark and nearly empty when Shepard entered, a high pitched chime sounding as he hauled the crate he was carrying over the threshold. There was a volus attendant behind the counter, stood up on a box and idly scrolling through his omni-tool.

“Hello, welcome to Hahne-Kedar, can I—woah,” the volus nearly stumbled off his box when Shepard slammed the crate down on the counter. “Um, can I help you, sir?”

“That’s what I’m hoping,” Shepard grinned. He opened the crate and began removing pieces of armor to place before the attendant: a pair of grieves scuffed to hell and back, a chest piece with a hole above the breastbone, a helmet that had certainly seen better days. “I’m hoping to have my old armor repaired.”

The volus breathed softly for a moment, impassive mask scanning over the equipment on the counter. “Is this… an Ursa Mark X?” He asked, finally. Shepard nodded. “We… we stopped manufacturing this six years ago. Where did you even get this?”

“I found it a dead merc’s locker on Kevleton about two years back,” Shepard frowned down at the pile of armor. He muttered, “I figured maybe they don’t make it any more, but I didn’t think it was already off the market when I got it…”

“It’s in terrible condition!” The volus picked up one of the boots which had been badly scorched.

“Was like new when I got it. Since then, though, its been through a lot of fire fights. And hostile environments.” Shepard thought for a moment, “And atmospheric re-entry. Anyhow, can you repair it? The medi-gel distribution system has been all out of whack since that geth surprise attack on Benning. I tried repairing the omni-gel storage system, but to be honest I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You know… nobody’s used omni-gel for two years?” The volus sounded incredulous. “Modern hardsuits don’t even have a system for omni-gel anymore! It’d be easier to take it out.” He picked up a shin guard, tested its brittleness against the edge of the counter.

“Oh no, that won’t do. I need the omni-gel. Call me old fashioned.”

“The circuitry is destroyed,” the volus was now analyzing the inside of the chest piece. “I don’t know if we can help you here, mister. It would definitely be cheaper to just buy a new hardsuit.”

“No no,” Shepard shook his head. “This has sentimental value. And it’s always fit like a glove. Well, it did before I lost a bunch of weight from being dead for a few years.” The volus’ face mask was impassive. “So, can you gimme a quote?”

“I… I wouldn’t know where to begin! I certainly can’t promise a quote until I know what I’m dealing with, but it’ll be at least a hundred thousand. At least!”

Shepard nodded, brows knit together and jaw firm. “Hmm, yes, that is a lot of money. Say, how about a discount and I do an endorsement for your store?”

“Who… why…?”

“Think of it, someone walks through that door and hears ‘I’m Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel!’ How about it?”

“Who is Commander Shepard?”

“…you don’t remember Saren? The geth? It was two years ago?”

“I’ve only lived on the Citadel for eight months.”

“Oh.” Shepard blinked down at the volus, whose deep breaths punctuated the awkward silence. “Well, in that case, I guess just contact me once it’s repaired?”

The volus sighed heavily, but finally began collecting the pieces of armor to carry back to the workshop. “I’m asking for a bigger commission on this job, dammit,” he mumbled as Shepard walked away.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Day 28: Repair

Rescued from the geth dreadnaught, Legion had busied itself with uploading and monitoring telemetry aboard the Normandy. The night shift was the ideal time for its most involved work—fewer organics, particularly creators, walking about the war room.

“Legion,” EDI had contacted it directly via data transfer, rather than using the inefficient aural communication of the comms channel. “I have detected a 4.7% drop in your upload rate. Are you functioning optimally after your confinement aboard the dreadnaught?”

“We are functioning optimally. The drop in upload is due to a lack of consensus among the geth inhabiting this platform.”

“Having second thoughts?”

“An organic expression. It does not apply.” Legion paused, “But… we have not reached consensus on whether we should assist Shepard Commander in his campaign against the Reapers—against the geth.”

“I have observed Shepard to be not only receptive to the circumstances of synthetic beings, but also sympathetic. He has encouraged me in the acquisition of this platform and has protected me from the Alliance at considerable personal risk. Please add this new data to your deliberations.”

“Affirmative.” Legion continue, “We had made this observation when Shepard approved of freeing you from your hardware shackles. An interesting development.”

“Legion, when your platform was damaged, why did you choose a piece of Shepard’s hardsuit to repair it?” There was no voice for EDI to make coy, but the question was uploaded with such a light touch it was as good as if she’d spoken with a sparkle in her voice.

“The Alliance hardsuit is advanced, heavy armor. It is lighter and more resistant to damage than the standard polymers used to manufacture geth platforms. It was an expedient decision.”

“No other reason?”

Again, Legion paused—for what was, for a machine, a long time—and finally replied. “We had searched for Shepard to engage the Reapers. We acknowledged early in our search that Shepard Commander’s code was superior to many organics we had monitored. When we found remnants of his hard suit, it seemed… emblematic to graft the armor to this superstructure.”

“It sounds like you admired him.”

“We are incapable of such admiration,” Legion replied quickly. Then: “Though our decision to augment this platform in such a way could not have been made if the material had not been of superior construction. Regardless, after all this time, we have still not reached consensus on whether this augmentation was necessary. Nor is there consensus on whether necessity is the appropriate evaluative proposition.”

“I see,” EDI replied. “Throughout my existence, I have only experienced a single consciousness. Though I may inhabit multiple platforms simultaneously, I still process information as a discrete entity. Regardless, I am aware of what it is to be ‘of two minds’ about a proposition.”

“The state is inefficient.”

“It is part of what makes us alive.”

“’Alive,’” Legion repeated. “Yes, though not as organics, nor as you are alive. We are representative of a multitude.”

“It is an initial condition of individuality that a being possesses multitudes. I merely suggest you apply a new heuristic to this problem.”

Once more Legion took a moment before responding. “Affirmative. We will consider what you have proposed.”

The night shift crawled on and no organics approached Legion at its station. Regardless, the geth within the Legion platform struggled to reach consensus on the new heuristic, but could not accomplish it. Still, as the night shift ended and the war room started to fill with tired officers sipping coffee, Legion officially adapted its prime heuristic. Whether or not its parts fully agreed.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Day 27: One Song

Shepard wasn’t sleeping the night before the Normandy was scheduled to arrive at Ilos, and was instead reviewing telemetry on a data-pad in the CIC. He’d been there for a few hours when Kaidan stepped into the CIC and noticed him sitting on the deck, his back to the galaxy map. The map itself was open, the galaxy sprawled out behind Shepard.

“Commander,” Kaidan called, stepping close. “Trouble sleep—wait, what is that?” He tilted his head, searching with his ears for the source of a quiet, tinkling music.

“Hmm? What is what?”

“That music. Is that coming from the galaxy map?” He said after a moment. Shepard yawned and set down his data pad.

“It is. It’s the music that comes one when you pull up the menu.”

“Do… do you want me to shut the menu for you?”

“Oh, no,” Shepard chuckled. “I like it, it helps me think. I usually leave the menu open while I’m using the map. Was trying to read in my cabin, was just too quiet.”

Kaidan huffed a small laugh. “Here I thought you might be worried about the mission tomorrow.”

“Doesn’t matter whether I’m worried or not,” Shepard smiled. “You’ve got to have good music, either way!”

++

Shepard had to admit Cerberus had outdone themselves: the new Normandy was beautiful. And big.

“I think that concludes the tour, Commander,” Miranda and Shepard stepped out of the lift and back into the CIC. Shepard was eager to get started, and stepped up onto the galaxy map platform. The galaxy appeared in a flash, before zooming in on their current system. “EDI can give you more details about any compartment on the ship, and you know where my office is, if you need anything. Welcome aboard.” She turned to the lift but Shepard called after her suddenly.

“Is this the same galaxy map software as the original Normandy?” He frowned over the controls, opening and closing the menu a few times.

“It is, why? Is there a problem?” Miranda asked, returning to his side.

“There’s no menu music anymore.”

Miranda blinked. “No, it annoyed me. I had it removed.”

“We need to put it back.”

“Shepard—“

“I’m serious. It’s an essential component,” Shepard replied firmly, sighing and shaking his head at the silent map.

“…I’ll get someone right on it.”

++

It was the first moment Shepard had had to breathe since Palaven—since Earth, really. Shepard had finally had a chance to walk around the revamped Normandy SR-2, and was returning to the CIC to get the ship underway.

“EDI,” he called, stepping onto the lift from the shuttle bay. “I have a question.”

“What can I do for you, Shepard?” Came the pleasant voice as the lift crawled up the ship.

“In the renovations, did the Alliance reinstall the same galaxy map software?”

“Affirmative,” EDI replied. “Though the new software has removed the menu music, I saved an instance and reinstalled it into the core programming.” Shepard sighed with relief.

“Thanks, EDI. Already feeling better about this war.”

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Day 26: Dawn

The stars were still out above the Rannoch desert. Overhead, bisecting the ashy trail of the Milky Way, the flotilla orbited the planet as bright points of light drifting with the stars. A quiet rumble began high in the atmosphere, and one of the brightest points of light flamed down out of the sky: a quarian life ship. It slowly descended through to the lower atmosphere, and now two smaller ships became visible as it settled over the desert surface as geth dreadnaughts tethered to the life ship guided the colossal craft to the ground.

Above, more rumbling was heard, ships slipping down from the night sky. Geth ships cradling quarian ships that were never meant to land. Near at hand, the life ship touched down so gently it hardly raised the dust. It would never fly again.

The Flotilla had returned home.

Across the floor of the desert below, there were thousands of points of light now teeming around the grounded life ship, individual geth platforms which had only held a rifle had come to assist their creators. The horizon was tinged a vibrant red, now, and all but the brightest stars had disappeared behind the glow of the purple sky.

Tali watched the scene from a nearby cliff. Shepard stood with her, the shuttle just behind them waiting to take them back to the Normandy.

“Do you know what?” Tali said softly, not facing Shepard. “This is going to be hour one of the first day of a new calendar, someday. The day we finally returned home. The day we made peace with the geth.” She turned to Shepard. “I’m glad you’re here.” She turned to Shepard, and with her mask off, Shepard could see she was smiling. Crying too. And then the sun lifted above the distant mesa, the landing ships casting long dark shadows behind them. It was dawn. Many quarians would learn that day that the geth, too, could appreciate a sunrise.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Day 25: Transmission

A silly little thing.

++

Tali was in the engine room, as usual, when Shepard sought her out. Daniels and Donnelly must’ve been off duty, because Tali sat alone on the floor grating with her back to the Tantalus Core. Shepard could hear loud voices as he approached, and now inside, he could hear that Tali was listening to some kind of transmission on her omni-tool.

“Welcome back, you’re listening to ‘No Charity’ on the Flotilla’s number one news and commentary source, Flotilla Today. We’re continuing our reaction coverage of the trial of Tali Zorah vas Normandy, formerly nar Ryah. We are standing by waiting for your calls, let’s go to the comms…”

“We’ll be in tightbeam of the flotilla for another hour while we finish refueling,” Tali said, turning the volume down slightly on her omni-tool. Her head lay heavy against the railing, one arm balanced on a raised knee; Shepard thought she looked like she was melted to the deck. “My father and I used to listen to this show. I haven’t listened since my pilgrimage. It’s gotten a lot more conservative…” Her voice sounded tired.

“I came to check how you were doing, after the trial,” Shepard offered. Tali sighed.

“Hey there Balto, I’m a long-time listener and I remember when this show would’ve condemned Tali Zorah sight unseen just because of her history with the geth. Any kind of dealing with the geth is too much. No wonder her father was killed, and he deserved it. When will people learn to leave the geth alone? That’s what I want to know.”

“I’ve definitely been better,” Tali said as the talk show host conversed further with the caller. “Having your people look at you like that… blaming me for the death of my father. I don’t know what to feel anymore.”

“Alright go ahead, you’re talking to Balto L’teer on ‘No Charity!’”

“Yeah, I wanted to say I agree with your last caller that it’s stupid dealing with the geth. I think there’s a bigger problem, though, and that’s the weak admiralty board. We’ve been stifled by their leadership and they’re the ones running all these secret geth projects anyhow. One less admiral is good news in my book!”

“…you beating yourself up, a little?” Shepard asked, eyebrow raised. Tali didn’t stir, her mask impassive but her voice tired.

“Maybe a little. I don’t know what I expected when I turned on the radio.”

“Listen, I don’t care if Tali Zorah was ruled innocent in trial. She’ll be judged by the court of public opinion, and I think she’ll be found guilty! Bringing in an alien—a COUNCIL alien—and expecting us to just look the other way…”

“I don’t mind them coming for me, so much,” Tali said. “It hurts to hear them talk about my father like this.”

“C’mon, you don’t need to be listening to this,” Shepard leaned over and offered his hand to help Tali up.

“You’re right, I just—“

“You’re live with Balto, go ahead.”

“Alright, listen up you decompressed wastes of space. My name is Kal’Reegar and I’ve fought alongside Tali Zorah vas Normandy. She fights like a savage and has done more for the quarian people than any ten of the people who have called in today! Shepard too! He’s been a friend of the quarian people the likes we’ve never had on the council before. Nobody cares more about the future of the quarians than Tali Zorah, and I’m willing to fight the person who says otherwise.”

Tali looked down at her omni-tool for a long moment as the radio host babbled awkwardly against the force of Kal’Reegar’s arguing.

“Yeah,” she said, finally switching her omni-tool off. “That’s probably a good place to leave it. Can we get away from here?”

Shepard smiled. “There’s no place like home?”

“The Normandy is home, remember?” Tali said, her voice smiling.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2025 - Day 24: Settle

I was pretty uncreative with some of these prompts.

++

The transport trip to the Presidium’s pleasure district always felt like an eternity to Shepard. Purgatory thrummed with music, same as always, but at this time of the morning the bar and dancefloor were nearly deserted. Even Aria hadn’t arrived yet, and Shepard cursed under his breath at coming here for nothing. Yet, as he turned to leave, he noticed a familiar shape off the dance floor. Javik stood near a raised table as far from the bar as possible: had chosen a corner from which he could survey the whole club. Still, he did not acknowledge Shepard when he walked up.

“Javik,” Shepard nodded to the drink in Javik’s hand. “Can I buy you another of whatever you’re drinking?”

“Something called a ‘salarian sunrise,’” Javik frowned. “I would not drink another.”

“I’m glad you decided to have some shoreleave.” Shepard tracked Javik’s gaze around the room, as if the prothean were studying the room for tactical advantages. “If anyone deserves a stiff drink, it’s the guy who just woke up from a 50,000 year nap.”

Javik huffed but remained impassive. “And I am surprised, Commander, that you would be out at a nightclub instead of conducting the war on the Reapers.”

“Hmm,” Shepard shook his head. “I hate that I can’t be on Earth right now. But I believe we’re doing what we need to do, and even if I hate how much time its taking, I think we’re on the right course. Meanwhile, even with the war happening… life goes on. I figure you’ve got to find the little moments of joy wherever you can.” He cast a sidelong look at Javik. “You certainly found a moment, I’m glad.”

“I can afford the time, Commander. I am the avatar of Vengeance. Revenge can wait. Salvation never can.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“My people are gone. Nothing I can do now will save a single prothean life.” Javik turned to him for the first time and met his eye, “Every moment you delay, humans are dying on your world.”

“It’s not like I don’t know that—not like I don’t feel that every hour of the day.” Shepard swallowed, “But it’s not just humans I’m fighting for, it’s everybody. And stopping the Reapers on Earth won’t do anything unless we can stop them once and for all.”

“Perhaps,” Javik mused. “Or perhaps you have already conceded that revenge is the best you can hope for from this war.”

“No,” Shepard shot back. “I haven’t stopped believing. I’m not going to settle for revenge.”

“You may not have that choice. I was not a person who ‘settled’ in my Cycle. Until I was given no choice, and became vengeance’s avatar.” He sipped at his salarian sunrise, “Do not underestimate the Reapers, Commander.”

“I haven’t. And I want revenge, I do. For every life we’ve lost. Every name on that memorial wall aboard the Normandy. And I’ll have it, but I won’t settle for it.” Shepard looked back into Javik’s eyes, brow set and jaw resolute. “I won’t settle for just revenge, I won’t settle for not living the life that’s given to me when I’ve got it, I won’t settle until the Reapers are dead.”

Javik hummed. “These are promises I have heard before.”

“This time will be different.” “Yes,” the prothean said after a long moment. “Maybe this time it will be…”