My Options: The Frozen Cupcakes
I opted to eat a regular ol' yellow cupcake con vanilla frosting. One for many a day within a row.
I am faced with the consequences.
Was the sickness caused by the sugar and gluten or was the craving caused by the sickness?
My mind is swirling of sorts.
I cannot make sense of such choices when I know now that I have sensitivities which wreak havoc when ignored.
Pretension or option?
Processed or organic?
Probably the latter because of the sensitive nature of my person.
Could I wish to be different on some days I would make that wish... knowing there are two more wishes so I could safely wish myself back.
Wish for wellness?
Perhaps an option.
Only with rules.
The ascetic choices are hard but the softness is suffocating.
Someday I hope to be healthy if only in spirit.
Someday I hope to fully embrace my sensitivity without an ounce of fucking shame.
No, I don't want your smells and your tonics and potions.
I don't desire temptation in the form of taking the gray from my hair or the red from my face.
I want peace, fully. I want understanding funnily. I want love and a sense of family that I can try to create all day yet my age makes me in a line to a throne I do not own.
I just want a gluten free cupcake sweetened with apples and honey... but in a year. I have to wait to consume tiny cakes again.