Balltime
Our intrepid explorer ventures into the woods, before stumbling upon a beautiful woman holding a ball. Enamored by her ravishing good looks and brilliant personality, the explorer is dumbstruck by her beauty. Could this be love? He’d been lonely for the better part of a year, his previous girlfriend abandoning him months ago for a wealthy tech CEO. This woman… she was free, she was beautiful, she was ball. The man sinks into the fuzziness of affection, feeling a new lease on life after so many lonely evenings eating microwave dinners and watching jewelry channels. He imagined the woman there, too, commenting on the unique lab-grown diamonds with her ball in between them. They go on dates in the park, and to the movies, and on their anniversary they both buy each other a ball and laugh about how they met. They’re so in sync. They’re so in love. They’re so ball.
His dreams become real dreams, because he is knocked the fuck cold. The woman has thrown her ball to confuse him, loosing the wallet from his pocket and spilling his change across the forest floor. With ease, the woman descends the tree and steals all his cash, to buy more balls, presumably.
