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you’re in my head, you’re in my blood (ao3)

for @yasisworld, who is absolutely incredible! you asked for a soulmate au, which is something i’ve never actually written before, so i hope you enjoy this!

The red string of fate. It's an old story, passed down between generations of Chinese folklore, all about an invisible red thread that connects two individuals. These two people are destined lovers, regardless of time, distance or circumstance. The string may twist and tangle, but it will never break. There is a direct link between the story of the red string of fate, and the more westernised soulmates. Soulmates can come into your life at any time, but you aren't made aware of them until you're both eighteen years old. In different ways, you know when you meet your soulmate. There's been stories told of sparks when they first met, or suddenly being able to see in colour. It's different for everyone, a unique connection between two individuals.

---

It was an accident, it really truly was. But in hindsight, maybe fate actually did play a part in it after all.

Callum wasn't actually meant to be there, not at that time anyway. He was supposed to show up earlier, but as per usual with public transportation, it was unreliable and late. If everything had gone to plan, he wouldn't have been walking around the unfamiliar streets of Walford as the sky faded from a pale blue to a navy - he would have already been sitting down with a cocktail in his hand, enjoying his night.

Ben wasn't meant to be there either. At least, not right there. He was lazy, and couldn't be at all bothered to go home and stand in the kitchen cooking - because who would really be bothered with that after a long day of working? He had only just got back into Walford, after being on the outskirts of London all day, picking up different parts for the insides of cars, and sorting out contracts, there was no way he would willingly cook. Instead, he chose to exploit his brother's business, haggling for a portion of free chips that he expertly knew he could get, because he knew exactly what buttons of Ian's to press, especially on a Friday night before the onslaught of the night goers.

Callum checks his phone, the screen illuminating his face against the harshness of the dark that surrounds him. There's a text on there, from his date, telling him that he's already in the bar, but there's a queue to get in now. So much for a relaxing first date, he thinks. Callum sighs, and continues walking around unfamiliar territory, sending a text back as quickly as possible, but looking up every so often to make sure he isn't walking directly into a brick wall. Street lights guide his way, a fluorescent orange glow fading out into sheerness before it even hits the pavement. He presses send on a text, and waits for it to stop circling and turn into a tick before he pockets his phone. There's a calmness in the air, only a gentle breeze breaking up the warmth of the summer evening. It's remarkably quiet around him, especially for a Friday evening - there's no drunken people staggering about, falling over nothing - but it is only early. He rounds a corner, assuming that his destination is now only up the road, judging by the directions he looked at earlier today. He's not entirely focusing on where he's heading, or anyone who seems to be walking around him, because within a few seconds of turning the corner onto a new street, he's bumping into someone who was walking in the opposite direction to Callum. There's a crash, and a groan, and then a whine as the man drops his chips onto the ground at their feet.

"I'm so sorry!" Callum gasps out, horrified. Of course this would happen, of course. "I can buy you some new ones, just show me where the nearest shop is." He's all flustered, a flush spreading out across his cheeks, the tips of his ears burning aflame.

"I reckon I should be the one apologising mate." The stranger says, looking at Callum's chest that was now not a crisp white shirt, but a white shirt with ketchup stains now littering it. "Don't worry about those. My brother owns a chip shop, I can get them for free."

Callum looks down at himself, and yeah. He can't show up to his date looking like this. He looks back up at the man and speaks again. "Still." He says. "I'd feel better if I bought you a new portion. I'm Callum, by the way."

"Ben." He responds, holding his hand out for Callum to shake. "I hope I haven't ruined your night."

Callum lets out a low chuckle, and shakes his head. "I was actually heading on a date." He explains, following Ben's footsteps. They're both walking in time with one another, Callum more so following Ben considering Callum doesn't know his way around this area and the virtual stranger seems like he does.

Ben looks at him, eyes wide. "Your soulmate?" And if this world was different, that may seem like a stupid question. It's a common thing, to ask another person about their soulmate, even at a young age when you don't know them yet. "Well now I feel even worse."

"I doubt it." Callum says. "I've met him once before, when we agreed to this date and nothing out of the ordinary happened, so I figured he can't be my soulmate. It's meant to just be a bit of fun really."

Ben accepts that, because it's more common than people realise, going on dates and having fun with people who aren't necessarily your soulmate. He opens the door to the chip shop, a ringing of a bell sounding above them, notifying Ian that he's got a customer. He turns around with a smile on his face, until he sees Ben.

"What are you doing back?" Ian scowls.

"Nice to see you too, bruv." Ben says sarcastically. "Two portions of chips."

Ian rolls his eyes, not caring that there was someone else in the shop that he's never seen before. "And what happened to the other portion I just made for you? For free, no less."

"Ah." Ben says, looking at Callum's shirt, with stains of red almost imprinted onto it. "Funny you should say that, because it ended up all over this man, and then on the floor. So two portions of chips, coming up?"

Ian turns around, and shuffles chips into two separate polystyrene boxes, muttering something about an annoying family under his breath. Callum stifles a laugh, and Ben winks in his direction, teasing. When Ian faces them again, there's an aching smile on his face, instantly back in customer mode. "That'll be eight quid." He says, the chips laying on the counter.

Ben reaches over, and grabs them both, quickly handing on to Callum. "Cheers Ian, put it on my tab and I'll pay you after."

They're halfway out of the door, laughter erupting out of them when Ian shouts back, clearly flustered. "I don't do tabs Ben!" He screams. "That's it! You're barred."

Outside, it's relaxing. The moon is hanging high up in the sky, friends with the littering of stars, and there's a chill in the air, though it's still warm. Callum steps in time with Ben, his legs taking him wherever Ben's going, like there's some sort of magnetic force pulling them together. "Fancy eating these in the park?"

"Can do, yeah." Callum says, a mist of breath swirling from his lips into the abyss, an ache at the top of his spine like a tingle threatening to fall down his torso. "It's not like I can go to my date dressed like this."

Ben winces as he turns to face Callum, a flush on his cheeks, though neither of them are willing to bring it up in conversation. "I am sorry about that." Ben reiterates. "I need to start looking where I'm going. I just assume I know where I'm going, and that people will move out of my way, but clearly not." He trails off into a soft chuckle.

Silence falls between them, and Ben's still guiding them to the park. Callum has no idea why he trusts Ben so much, for a complete stranger, but something tells him that this is a good idea. "Maybe it was fate." Callum puts out into the universe, and then mere seconds later he's regretting even suggesting it.

Ben raises an eyebrow, and there's the faintest hint of a smirk on his lips. "What do you mean by that?" He asks, as if he doesn't already know.

Callum shrugs. "I don't know." He says, as he tries to think of the right words to say. He throws a salty chip into his mouth, limp. "Just - I don't know - maybe you putting ketchup over my shirt and stopping me from going on my date was fate. People always talk about how sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe this was one of those things."

Ben nods, accepting. "It's as good a thought process as any, I suppose." He sits down at a table, swinging his legs around as he perches on the connected bench. Callum joins him soon after, sitting on the opposite connected bench, and puts his chips on the table. Above them, street lights illuminate the park, allowing them to have visibility of their surroundings even in the darkness that surrounds them.

"Have you met your soulmate yet?" Callum asks.

Shaking his head, Ben chuckles quietly. "I thought I did, a long time ago." He sighs, reminiscing. He pokes at his chips, nudging them around, before he puts a few of them in his mouth at the same time.

Callum mirrors his actions, and wipes his hands on his trousers lightly. "So what happened there then?" He inquires.

"Nosey, ain't ya?" Ben laughs, raising an eyebrow. "We grew up together. Everyone assumed we would end up soulmates, so I reckon that's why it hurt as much as it did in the end. We turned eighteen and nothing changed. We loved each other, but it wasn't meant to be. He died, just after his nineteenth."

That shut Callum up.

Ben looks him up and down, and notices how his face has gone from bubbly and light to empty and sad. He's got no idea why, because it's his life - not Callum's. Maybe he's just an empathic person, or maybe it's something more. No. Ben coughs to break the awkward silence, the tension between them thick in the air now. "Why was your date here anyway? I've not seen you around."

Callum shrugs his shoulders, and eats the last of his chips, though there's still a few scraps that he leaves behind. "It was his idea. Apparently there's a decent gay bar here, and he wanted to go there."

Ben chuckles, shaking his head as he too finishes his chips, poking holes in the now empty box.

"What?" Callum inquires, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"My mum owns it." Ben laughs. "The gay bar, I mean."

"Seriously?" Callum asks, because for some reason this is a shocking revelation - what are the odds of that? "Maybe it really was fate after all."

Ben grins, a laugh tumbling out from him, and he feels free. This just feels so natural, like this was just meant to be. He looks up at the sky, and notices a faint cloud forming over the moon, casting a shadow as it hides the ever present moon. "Look, I need to be heading back home." Ben admits, though there's a huge part of him that's screaming out to stay here forever. "I should've been home hours ago."

Callum nods, accepting, and stands up, grabbing his and Ben's boxes and putting them in the nearest public bin. It's so weird, because when he isn't next to Ben there's a pang within him that's just aching and itching to try and get to next to him. He turns, and watches Ben as he stands up too, picking his phone out of his pocket for just a few seconds before he puts it back in. He looks as if he's about to leave, and a wave of something floods through Callum like a tsunami. "Ben." He says out loud, a shake in his voice, and his fingertips are ice cold all of a sudden.

Ben looks up at Callum, puppy dog eyes highlighting his face, anticipating Callum's next words.

"Can I get your number?" He asks.

Ben's face folds into a smile, shy at first, but then unrelenting. "Yeah." He says, and his voice is hoarse. He should really be more reluctant, because he comes with a lot of baggage, some of which he can't really talk about in the middle of the night, not long after meeting, but something is drawing him to Callum and he wants more. He takes his phone out of his pocket again, and Callum does the same. They both swap devices, and put their numbers in, before handing it back to the other.

Callum rocks back and forth on the tips of his toes, and he adds an extra inch or so onto his height above Ben temporarily. His hands are in his pockets, hidden in an attempt to disguise the fact he's shaking with nerves and he doesn't know why. "Well, I'll be off then." He says. "Hopefully nobody on the tube thinks I've been stabbed." He looks down at his shirt, knowing that it's probably going to be thrown in the bin the second he gets home.

"I am sorry about that." Ben apologises again, though there's a giggle threatening to fall from his lips.

"It's fine." Callum confirms, in a soft tone of voice. He takes one hand from his pocket, and presses it to Ben's waist. He has no idea why, or even what possesses him to do it, but he leans forward, and presses his lips to Ben's cheek, inhaling for a split second. There's a tingle on his lips, and Ben audibly gasps as he feels the touch searing hot against his skin.

They both know what it means. They both know what's happening to them. But neither of them mention it.

It's been weeks since Ben and Callum met. Or rather, weeks since they physically bumped into one another in the street. Since then, Callum's ketchup covered shirt has been thrown away and subsequently replaced in a matter of days - and they haven't been able to stop texting each other constantly. They haven't seen each other since, not face to face, because they both have busy lives apparently, but something is growing deep inside of them and it's making the urge to see each other again ever present. Ben's rarely without his phone now, and Kathy has begun to notice that he just seems to have an aura of happiness glowing around him, especially when his phone vibrates and he reads whatever it is that's on screen. He's giddy, and everyone notices the positive change in him.

He's sitting on the sofa, his legs curling up at the side of him. The television is playing in the background, providing a noise that fills the room. Nobody cares about it, it's only a gardening show, and it's only on for the background noise. Occasionally Ben looks up, just to see if it's still on. Kathy is at the table, with a folder in front of her as she flicks through the pages, cooing at whatever it is that she sees. Ben looks up over the top of his phone, and narrows his eyes. "What are you doing?" He asks, and puts his phone down on his lap as his mum turns in her seat, putting her arm onto the back of the chair as she twists to look at her son.

"I found all these family photos the other day." She explains, holding up the folder. "I haven't seen some of these for years."

Ben snorts. "The photos, or the people?"

"Ben!" Kathy scalds, waving her hand dismissively at him, though a smile is growing on her face at her youngest son's cheeky nature. Some things never change. "There's some of you here."

Ben pockets his phone into his jeans, and pads over to his mum, towering over her as she sits down. He presses a hand to her shoulder, and looks over at the folder on the table, opened up on a page full of photos of himself as a child, including many he's never seen before. There's photos of Kathy holding Ben, kissing his chubby cheeks and Ben pulling away from her. There's photos of him playing on the beach, sitting in the sand with a bucket and spade next to him, with a blue hat atop his head. It's a childhood that seems a million miles away from the one he remembers. There's a lot of photos of him, surprisingly enough, but there's one photo that stands out to him in particular. He's sitting in a teacup ride, probably only around three or four, holding onto the wheel in front of him. Next to him, is another child, who looks just a little bit older, judging by his long legs nearly managing to reach the floor of the ride. They're both grinning into the camera, and the strange boy has his arm around Ben's shoulder. "Who's that?" Ben asks, pointing to the random boy.

Kathy looks closer, and pushes her glasses on further up her nose, as if that will help her. "Oh, I've got no idea!" She says, furrowing her eyebrows as though she's trying to go back in time twenty odd years to work it out. "Probably just a random child I would suppose. You never used to like rides, you know. Why?"

Ben shrugs, but he can't take his eyes away from that one photo. "He just looks familiar, that's all."

"Perhaps you've just got a stronger memory than you thought, love." Kathy smiles, and continues to flick through the pages once more.

"Maybe." Ben says, walking back to sit on the sofa once more, unable to get the picture out of his mind.

---

Ben's sitting at the bar in The Prince Albert. He's got a bottle of beer hanging loosely in his hand, and he's half leaning his body against the bar to hitch himself up. He's there early, grateful that he's not there on a day his mum's working, because that's the last thing he needs. He's listening to the music that plays in the background, though he's not really focusing on it. It's not loud anyway, and it wouldn't be until later on in the evening. Now, it's calm. It's not busy, not just yet. Ben's grateful for that too, because that means he's able to see when Callum walks in. He takes a sip of his beer, and closes his eyes as the liquid hits the back of his throat, refreshingly. When he opens his eyes again, he sees Callum walking over to him with a bright smile on his face. He's wearing tight jeans, and a navy shirt, and Ben's body tingles just looking at him. Just moments later, Callum's standing right next to Ben, towering over him. "Hey." Ben whispers out, and touches Callum's waist with his hand, fingers featherlight.

"Hey." Callum grins, and leans his body down just slightly so he can press his lips to Ben's cheek. It's warm and inviting, and it's like there's this force from beyond their realm that ties them together perpetually.

Callum sits down, copying Ben's stance, and their knees knock together. He orders a beer, and when it arrives, he gulps his first sip down.

"Thirsty?" Ben inquires, raising an eyebrow.

Callum chuckles, and his hand is resting on Ben's thigh. It's a calming touch, a calming presence. "I need to start saving for a car." He says. "Taking the tube everywhere is awful. Still, at least you haven't thrown food all over me yet."

Ben rolls his eyes, but a laugh bubbles out of his lips nonetheless. Callum is infectious. "That's why you wanted to come here is it? We could've gone to a restaurant."

"And have hot food everywhere?" Callum teases. "No thank you, I actually quite like this shirt."

"You do look good in it, if I'm honest." Ben says, and suddenly he's shy.

Callum smiles, and squeezes Ben's thigh comfortingly. "You're not too bad yourself." He admits, and there's a flush of pink that he can feel making its way onto his cheeks. "Anyway, I wanted to come here because I missed out on it the first time."

Ben's drink is nearly empty, only the last dregs remaining now. He finishes it off, and places the bottle on the table with a small clash of glass against the surface. "And the bloke."

Callum moves his head from side to side, as though he's weighing up his options. "I reckon I got the better end of the bargain. Met you, didn't I?"

"Maybe it was fate." Ben teases, though part of him is starting to think that fate is playing a part in all of this. "I'm just glad we decided on coming here today. Mum's working here for the rest of the week."

"And you don't want me to meet her?" Callum asks.

Ben shakes his head. "She's the best parent to meet." He explains. "But probably not on the first date."

Callum grins. "First date, eh? I would've thought the park was our first."

"Well, first indoors date." Ben concludes. "First proper date. Knowing her for the last few weeks, she'd probably get out all the baby pictures to show you, and it'd end up you and her on the date, and me sorting out your drinks."

Callum drains the rest of his pint, and his bottle soon follows where Ben's is - or once was, someone must have taken it away without interrupting them in their conversation, but neither of them saw it. "I reckon you were probably a cute kid."

"Oh I don't know about that." Ben says. "I need glasses, but I used to have these thin wiry ones and I hated them. My hair wasn't much better either, and I was so scrawny. Freckles everywhere. I still get them now though, especially in the sun. My mum found a photo of me the other day, on a ride with some other boy. No idea who he was, but when I saw it I felt like I recognised him, it was really weird."

Ben looks at Callum, and he's smiling, until he sees the colour drain from Callum's face. He looks grey, almost ghostlike. "What's wrong?" Ben asks, worry evident in his voice.

"Do you have it? The photo?" Callum asks, his throat dry and his words getting stuck in his throat, as though he's straining to get it out painlessly.

Ben picks his phone out of his pocket, but there's confusion on his face. "I took a picture of it to send to my friend. Here." He hands Callum his phone and watches as his face twists and contorts with what seems like a million different emotions that run through his body.

Callum grabs his phone from his own pocket, and scrolls for what seems like an age, until he turns both phones around so Ben can see the screens. On them, is the same photo. Ben, sitting next to a strange boy, both of them grinning wildly at the camera that takes the photo. "I woke up one morning, and this photo was on my phone. That's me. That little boy, is me."

Ben looks up at Callum through his eyelashes, his mouth open in shock. Is this happening? "Does this mean…" Ben starts his sentence, racking his brain to try and find the words that make sense, but it's like he's forgotten half of the words in the dictionary.

"You and me." Callum says, testing the waters. "We're soulmates."

"Yeah." Ben breathes out, finally releasing the pressure from a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. He falls back into his chair, but he can't stop staring at the pictures in front of him. He's scared that if he looks away, this will all just have been a lie. "This is really happening." He whispers, voice shaky.

It's rare, apparently. Normally, soulmates are together for life once they first meet, even if it's before their eighteenth birthday. It's so rare for them to disappear from one another, especially for so long, but it does happen, and Ben and Callum are proof of it.

"I guess it actually was fate then." Callum teases, and he scoots closer to Ben than before. His hand is rubbing Ben's thigh, and his skin tingles at the touch. It all makes sense now, everything.

Ben scoffs out a laugh, and shakes his head incredulously. He leans forward, and his fingers thread through Callum's, resting in an embrace against his thigh. His face is close to Callum's when he speaks again, barely centimetres away. "Can I kiss you?" He asks in a whisper. He follows Callum's eyes, and notices just how blue they really are, as if everything in the world is brighter now he knows the truth.

Callum nods, and his free hand touches Ben's face, holding them together in place. Ben's lips finally touch Callum's and it's electrifying. It's a perfect match, a perfect fit. They mould together, one and the same. Ben grins, feeling things he's never felt before. It takes his breath away, and Callum yearns for more, he needs more. He stands now, towering over Ben, though they don't pull apart. Both hands are on Ben's face, and Ben's straining his neck to deepen the kiss, His hands are on Callum's waist, holding them together, and his legs are half hooking around Callum's. Every touch is electric, every movement leaving searing tingles. It's perfect. For once, everything just seems right.

They're soulmates, they belong together.

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