TVD 9x16 - What happens in Vegas... (part 1 of part 1) Enjoy!
Cut to - The Salvatore mansion family room, present day. Damon is watching Bonnie sleep. She wakes up slowly…
BONNIE: Ian?
DAMON: Ian? Who the heck is Ian? And tell me where he is, so I can kick his ass!
BONNIE: (Smiles) Sorry, had the craziest dream… And your name was Ian, for some screwed up reason…
DAMON: Oh, okay… then Ian is cool in my book! (Smirks and gives her a kiss).
BONNIE: What time is it?
DAMON: Almost 3pm…
BONNIE: What! Oh my god! I had to be at the airport an hour ago to meet Elena! Shit! Shit!
DAMON: Uhm… Bon… don’t you remember?
BONNIE: Remember what?
DAMON: About Elena…
BONNIE: What about Elena?
DAMON: Her flight got canceled; she got another one straight to Vegas. You don’t remember?
BONNIE: I do, I do… Told you, strange dream… I’m still a bit drowsy.
DAMON: Well, she won’t be able to help you bring all that “bachelorette” stuff. But the bachelor boys are heading the same way; I’m sure we can fit some of it; just promise me there’s nothing illegal in those bags.
BONNIE: (Mischievous smile) I can’t promise you that…
Cut to – Two days later, somewhere in the middle of the Mojave desert. Damon, who looks like hell, is dialing on his cell. Behind him, a crashed police car with Alaric, Iker, and Kai inside; also looking like crap. They are wearing nothing but their underwear.
DAMON: Care, it’s Damon… Listen ...The bachelor party got a little crazy and, well...we lost Stefan.
BONNIE: Uhm…think we might have a problem of our own…
DAMON: Bon?
BONNIE: It’s me, I think… Anyway; the bachelorette got a little crazy too, and, well… we lost Caroline.
Cut to – A couple of hours earlier. A Sky Villa at the Palms Casino Resort.
Damon wakes up confused, he is lying on the bathroom floor, drool coming out of his mouth, brain drilling headache. His vision is blurry, but he manages to recognize a familiar face, lying inside an empty bathtub, completely passed out. The familiar face is Kai, dressed in what seems to be a ballerina tutu.
He stares at him for a minute, wondering why he is there… not in the bathtub, but in Vegas; he hadn’t been invited. Oh well, he’ll figure it out later. For now, he needs to do an overall casualty assessment. He gets up slowly, holding on to whatever is at hand. He eventually gains the balance to find his way out of the bathroom, and into the living room. The place is a war zone, the hotel bill won’t be cheap! Amongst the debris of the previous night, he searches for other survivors…
Soon enough he finds Alaric, also passed out, half of his body hanging over the piano, which, to Damon’s surprise, a monkey seems to be playing.
DAMON: What the… (shushes the monkey away from the piano, shakes Alaric to wake him up, no response… He hears a sound coming from a mount of sofa cushions and clothes; someone is under there… it’s Iker, who slowly fights his way out).
IKER: (Looking messed up and disoriented) Hey, man… (looks around, grabs his head) What the hell happened last night?
DAMON: Beats me… I can barely remember my own name…
(Alaric wakes up suddenly, holding his hands up in a cheer).
ALARIC: Jackpot, bitches!!!!!!!!!!! (He realizes he has no idea where he is, or making any sense). Hey, guys… where am I? What are we doing here?
DAMON: (Sarcastic) Oh, boy… I have a feeling this is gonna be fun!
(Kai walks out of the bathroom, passes them by, but apparently doesn’t notice they are there, and goes into the master bedroom, throws himself on the bed. Just as he gets comfy, he realizes something is very wrong…
There is an elephant in the room; literally. Jumps up, screams like a little girl, runs out of the room and shuts the door).
KAI: Holy shit! There’s an elephant in the room!
DAMON: I’d say you’re right, stalker boy. What the hell are you doing here?
KAI: … I have no idea, but I swear, there is an elephant in that room!
DAMON: Are you sure it isn’t Stefan? He can look pretty scary in the morning…
(Goes to check it out, vamps back about a second later) Nop, that ain’t Stefan… and there is definitely an elephant in the room... (takes a drink).
ALARIC: So, where is Stefan? And, why the hell is he (referring to Kai) here!
DAMON: Ric, I think we have more important things to focus on right now… Like, for example, there is a freakin elephant in the room! It’s a baby elephant, yes, but still, a freaking elephant! Those things are dangerous! Oh, and I’m pretty sure there’s also a loose monkey somewhere around here! What the hell did we do last night? Rob a zoo?!
IKER: The only thing I have a vague memory of, is a steakhouse, a casino… a strip joint?
KAI: That pretty much describes all of Las Vegas, so, not a lot to go on.
DAMON: Okay, okay, I’m sure we can figure this out.
ALARIC: Let’s just find Stefan and get the hell out of here, before they put us in jail.
DAMON: Fine. Shouldn’t take too long. Ric and I will check every corner of the villa. Iker, you and psycho boy check around the hotel… restaurant, pool area, casino, etc.
IKER: (To Kai) Think you can keep up, princess?
KAI: (He hadn’t noticed he was wearing a tutu until this moment; he looks at Damon) This was definitely your doing! (Takes the tutu off).
DAMON: (Sarcastic smirk) Probably… Okay, let’s move.
(They search everywhere, Stefan is nowhere to be found. They teamback at the villa).
ALARIC: Well, we’ve searched everywhere, he’s not here. (Sarcastic) This is great! The wedding is tomorrow, our plane leaves in a couple of hours, and we are missing the groom...
We should call Caroline, maybe he ditched us and joined the girl’s party.
DAMON: And if he didn’t?
ALARIC: They can help us find him.
DAMON: Did you get brain damage last night?!
No way we are calling Caroline! I’d like to live a long and happy life with my Bon-Bon, so, not an option! Just chill, we’ll find him. He couldn’t have gone that far… it’s Stefan, he’s probably hunting bunnies. All we have to do is retrace our steps from last night, and we’ll find him.
ALARIC: The main issue being… none of us seem to remember anything about last night!
KAI: (Coming from another part of the room) Okay, I just called reception, they assure there is no Stefan Salvatore at any of the area hospitals, morgues, or police stations…
DAMON: No shit, Sherlock, he is a vampire! Of course he wouldn’t be in any of those places…
IKER: Wait… a police car… I remember we were in a police car!
DAMON: Ooh, that can’t be good…
KAI: Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no… (looks at his hand) This can’t be good either (shows them a very tacky ring).
DAMON: Come on, that’s just your daylight ring.
KAI: No, no… I don’t need a ring for that… which means this is … (takes the ring off, sees it’s engraved) most definitely a wedding ring!
ALARIC: Who the hell would be crazy enough to marry you?!!
IKER: (Cracking up) Shit, this too funny…
DAMON: (Takes the ring from Kai, reads the inscription) “To my knight in shining armour, from your damsel in distress” - Cupid’s Wedding Chapel. Well, boys, I believe we have a lead…
We need to go to this chapel, ask them if they remember us; and if Stefan was with us.
KAI: And who the hell I married!
DAMON: (Sarcastically) Oh, I’m sure she’s a lovely gal.
ALARIC: I’ll get us an uber…
Cut to – Cupid’s Wedding Chapel.
As soon as they walk in, the receptionist recognizes them.
RECEPTIONIST: Oh, shit! You guys are back!? Please, just no stealing the “King’s” costume this time!
DAMON: You remember us?
RECEPTIONIST: Of course I remember you! You guys are crazy! Specially you, damsel (winks at Kai). Where are the other three?
ALARIC: What other three? We are only missing one…
RECEPTIONIST: Uhm, no you aren’t; there were seven of you. You four… the wolf man, the cop, and the handsome hero hair guy.
DAMON: So Stefan was here with us, that’s a start!
ALARIC: And, apparently, Matt and Tyler too… So, not only did we lose the groom, we managed to loose two members of the wedding party. (Sarcastic) Fantastic!
KAI: Listen, I really need you to tell me who I married last night...
RECEPTIONIST: Sure, you married Whitney Houston; you lucky bastard!
KAI: What!? I mean, I love me some Whitney, but, really? She married me?
RECEPTIONIST: (Looking confused, and a bit sorry for him)
Well, an impersonator, obviously. The real Whitney has been dead for a while. Boy, your hang-over must really be screwing with you.
IKER: Don’t these places usually offer packages? Like photo albums and stuff…
RECEPTIONIST: We sure do.
IKER: Did we, or he (referring to Kai), buy any?
RECEPTIONIST: The whole nine yards. I thought that’s why you guys came back. (Takes out a box of wedding souvenirs and a photo album) Look… mugs, crystal balls, pins, key chains…
DAMON: Let’s go straight for the album… (They go through the photos. Some are “somewhat” normal...
Others, go along these lines… Kai, dressed as a ballerina, and the bride dressed as a noble knight. Stefan, wearing an Elvis outfit, mastering every single one of his iconic poses. Iker and Damon playing catch with the bride’s bouquet. Alaric, sneaking about, in full Indiana Jones mission. Matt, riding an inflatable unicorn, role-playing to be the Lone Ranger. Tyler, on all fours, howling).
DAMON: (Terrified at the pics they just saw) Oh god… I don’t even want to know...
ALARIC: (Sharing the sentiment) Oh, fuck no... apparently, I was the one to walk Kai down the aisle… Those pictures really need to be destroyed….
RECEPTIONIST: I’m telling you… you guys are totally insane!
ALARIC: You don’t happen to know where we were heading when we left here, do you?
RECEPTIONIST: No. But you did mention something about settling a debt; getting Britney Spears back for something…
ALARIC: Britney Spears?
RECEPTIONIST: Yep; the hero hair guy kept going on and on, about her owing him big time; and that he was going to collect… And you (referring to Damon) kept saying “It’s Britney, bitch!” That’s all I got, hope it helps. (Alaric looks at Damon to see if he remembers anything from hearing that …)
DAMON: Sorry, man, I’m at a blank…
IKER: Wait… I think I’m getting a flashback… of you (referring to Damon), strip dancing to “Gimme More”?
DAMON: No… I’d never strip dance to that! Britney Spears? Nice try, but nop.
KAI: Oh, come on, everyone loves Britney!
ALARIC: I think I remember that… God, please, take that image out of my head! Of all things, that’s what you chose for me to remember?! Have some mercy!
DAMON: If I did… I probably rocked it (winks and smirks).
IKER: Okay, I’m definitely gonna need therapy after this trip.
ALARIC: Well, we got all the information we are going to get from this place; and I don’t think I want to find out more. So, what’s next?
DAMON: I say we pay Miss Spears a visit…
ALARIC: First, no one would ever let us be less than 300 feet from her. Second, that’s ridiculous; she is obviously not involved, aside from you stripping to her songs. What we need to find is that strip joint we apparently went to after, or before, this place.
IKER: (Who has stumbled upon a box of matches in his pocket) Maybe this can help… (shows them a very tacky match box, which reads: Mystic Divas.
Cut to – Mystic Divas strip joint. The place, given the hour, is obviously closed. Just as they are about to leave, a woman, wearing Whitney’s “Queen of the Night” outfit, spots them as they are about to leave.
LADY: My princess! (Runs to hug Kai and kisses him) Why you bail on me last night?! Thought we were having fun!
KAI: Uhm… I’m guessing you are, my knight in shining armour?
LADY: Sure am! Till death do us part… (Sees Kai’s terrified face and laughs) Don’t worry, it was only pretend, honey, nothing permanent. We were both really drunk and thought it would be fun.
DAMON: (Sarcastic) Aw…what a love story! (To the lady) Sweetheart, you think you can help us put some dots together?
LADY: I can, but there is no way I’m letting you on my stage again. And, don’t call me sweetheart.
ALARIC: So, we were here last night?
LADY: Physically, yes. But I’m not sure any other part came along. Y’all were completely wasted.
IKER: All, meaning us four; or were there more?
LADY: Shit! You really don’t remember anything?
DAMON: (Trying to avoid the whole Britney strip thing) Nop!
LADY: Well… you were all here; plus the other three dudes.
ALARIC: I’m assuming that was before “the wedding”?
LADY: Yes. This is where (looks at Kai) we fell in love. But we came back here after the reception. Well, only me, my hubby; you fine looking thang (referring to Iker), and you, the ultimate party pooper (referring to Alaric). Don’t know where the rest of you went. All I know, is that my princess here, pulled a runaway bride after he got a call, and you two (referring to Iker and Alaric), left along with him.
ALARIC: Do you know around what time that was?
LADY: I’d say three-ish? Anyway, I have to go (kisses Kai on the cheek) It was lovely being your wife for the night. Good luck boys! (Leaves).
IKER: Not bad, psycho boy, she’s hot!
KAI: (Proud smirk) Totally hot!
ALARIC: Kinda reminded me of…
DAMON: (Before Ric says the name, he knows he’s going to say, he changes the conversation) Kai, check your phone…
KAI: (Rubbing it in his face) What... she remind oyu of someone, Damon?
DAMON: Please, you wish!
Now, check your freaking phone!
KAI: Fine, fine… (looks at his received calls; sure enough he has an inbound call, from an unknown number, at 3:13 am) Well… Yep; I received a call, clueless about the caller, but seems like we had a lot to talk about, call lasted 20 minutes…
DAMON: (Sarcastic) Gee, I wonder how we can find out who the mystery caller is?
KAI: We could try to hack into the local police system, they have a huge database. Except, we’ll need a computer, preferably a stolen one so it’s untraceable…
IKER: (Also sarcastic) Or, maybe just call the number?
KAI: Of course I was gonna do that first! I was just thinking ahead, in case we get no answer. Amateurs!
(Calls the number…) What a surprise… no answer! Oh, wait… (someone answers: Rawson Neal Psychiatric Hospital, how can I help you? Hangs-up immediately).
DAMON: So, who was it?! Why did you hang up!!
KAI: Ooh, I’m getting a bad feeling…
ALARIC: Give me that (takes the phone from his hand, calls the number… Rawson Neal Psychiatric Hospital, how can I help you? Hangs-up immediately) Shit…
DAMON: So, who the hell was it?!
ALARIC: Not who, but what…
DAMON: Ric, I’m too hung-over to be playing guessing games.
ALARIC: Does anyone remember anything about a psychiatric hospital?
DAMON: Now, that’s definitely a place Stefan could be at…
KAI: Specially if he was found hunting bunnies…
DAMON: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go one flew over the cuckoo’s nest…
ALARIC: I’ll get us another uber…
IKER: Wait…
Uber! Of course! I can’t believe we didn’t think of that! Everyone, check your phones for any trips we took last night.
DAMON: Duh! Man, we are really out of it! (They check their phones…) Well, I have one at 5:30, from the hotel to the Andiamo Italian Steakhouse, downtown. And another one at 7:40, from the steakhouse to the Bellagio… That’s it.
IKER: I have one, from the Bellagio to Mystic Divas at 1:06am.
KAI: As for me, one, at 3:33am, from Mystic Divas to the Rawson Neal Psychiatric Hospital…
ALARIC: I don’t have any from last night.
DAMON: Okay, so far, our best bet at finding Stefan is at that psych hospital. Let’s move.
TVD 9x16 (part 2 of part 1) coming very soon! Hope you stop by, read, and enjoy! =)
P.S Had to split it into more parts otherwise it would be too long for one post per part.











