May 31, 2021
deadass living out my banjo bus bum dreams yo lmao. tryna learn weary traveller in the mothership + the sky is pretty as shit + blunts are nice. 🌤🚌🪕
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Paraguay
seen from China
seen from Russia
seen from Canada
seen from Canada
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Lebanon
seen from China
seen from Yemen
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Canada
seen from India
seen from Russia
seen from United States
deadass living out my banjo bus bum dreams yo lmao. tryna learn weary traveller in the mothership + the sky is pretty as shit + blunts are nice. 🌤🚌🪕
Kurt cobain is a cop
Marvel-ous. Ish.
More Marvel superhero films are on the way...
Bully-groupie Boy:
Bully-groupie Boy is Gerald Smith, a right little cunt and no mistake. At school he befriended all the bullies to stop them picking on him, and would stand in the background issuing insults to victims and encouragement to the bullies; the cowardly prick. A minor character, he appears in later episodes of The Avengers, and is rumoured to be appearing in the next film. Generally hanging around with The Hulk, he does none of the fighting, instead he lurks around at the back, giving enemies the finger over Hulk’s shoulder, and stealing the baddie’s dinner money once Hulk has knocked them into oblivion.
Mammy:
Introduced after complaints of a lack of diversity amongst the Marvel superheroes, Mammy is an overweight, elderly, black maid, who looks after Tony Stark’s home most of the time. In her younger days she worked at the home of a scientist who owned a cat, Tom. Tom spent most of his time fighting with a mouse called Jerry to hilarious effect, but one day, LAWDY, he chased Jerry into the scientist’s lab (the scientist had nipped out for a Twix, and forgot to lock up). Mammy ran in after him to shoo him out, but in the melee Tom knocked an unidentified potion all over Mammy, which gave her magic powers (of course). Now, whenever she shouts her magic catchphrase “THOOOOMMMAAASSS!” her big fat arse turns into a massive, solid, lump of toughanium, the hardest metal in the universe, and also joint owner of the shittest name in the universe with unobtanium.
Unobfuckintanium.
With her buns of steel (kind of), she can knock down walls, deflect lasers, and do the dusting a bit quicker. LAWDY!
Kathkolo, destroyer of worlds.
Kathkolo is an ancient warrior from the remote planet XZiiRRJFnonAw225HGJ()(^----fF23211/MReeeee)*ccc>frnarfnrarnfnarfnarathgooooogogooooooooooooooo45000ddfDDfG|||[[[[[[[}hhhhhhhhhhhhhheDdDDDsNobasa4 (pronounced Wee Bill’s fanny bluster in Earth lingo. English, if you really needed to ask). Kathkolo is over thirty feet tall, with one large, bright red, glowing eye. Kathkolo is of indeterminate gender (sort of an alien Susan Boyle), and can run at 125 MPH flat out. One of the most powerful beings in the cosmos, Kathkolo can control tortoises and penguins using mind-control, using them as a kind of ultra-loyal evil army (he/she/it also has complete control over geraniums, but what the fuck can THEY do?). Unfortunately for Kathkolo, tortoises are slower than the rising of a hard-on in the vicinity of a naked Katie Hopkins, and evil plans thusly take FOREVER to implement (a brilliant plan to take over the world’s garden centres, began in 1958, has so far only resulted in one tortoise, Timmy Algernon, crossing the car park of his local B&Q last week so far). Penguins aren’t really much better; most of them are trapped in zoos, and can’t do any evil bidding apart from the occasional deliberate watery shite when children are watching, and unless you want to rule Antarctica then their wild brethren aren’t much better. Because of this, Kathkolo generally limits his/her/its evil mayhem to stomping about loudly at nights when people are trying to sleep, and kicking the occasional cat.
The Great Morrissey:
The Great Morrissey is an English superhero who (in the comics) joined The Avengers two years ago as a replacement for Hawkeye, who (spoiler alert) had been killed the year previously, but no-one had noticed. The Great Quiff of the Great Morrissey is probably the most potent weapon in The Avenger’s arsenal (even more powerful than Scarlett Johansen’s arse in those leather kecks), able to destroy small planets and Renault Clios, but the miserable shite never uses it to destroy alien baddies etc. Whilst Captain America et al are getting pummelled by overwhelming odds he can usually be found in another part of town, distracted after noticing a MacDonald’s sign in the distance. Using his Great Quiff he razes the “restaurant” to the ground, laughing manically (oh okay, it’s Morrissey; the hint of a faint lop-sided smile appears on his lips), whilst also harbouring secret feelings of guilt whilst the smell of burning customers and burgers makes his mouth water. Even when in the thick of the action he can usually be seen just standing there, muttering his catchphrase “oh, what’s the point? It’s all so futile.” whenever Iron Man or whoever begs for his help to get six aliens off his back.
Gunny Joe:
Gunny Joe has guns. Lots of guns. Gunny Joe also has grenades. Lots of grenades. Gunny Joe believes that other superheroes make life too hard for themselves, with their flying about, and summoning storms etc. to fight evil. Gunny Joe just stands on the side-lines, eating a sandwich, and shooting. Famous for his catchphrase “fuck it, just shoot the cunt”, many don’t agree with him being referred to as a superhero at all, but most keep these thoughts to themselves, lest he “shoot the cunt”.
Banjo Bum:
His pregnant mother was in a music shop in Hiroshima when the bomb dropped, and this resulted in him being born with a superpower: a banjo for a bum. Mainly there for comic relief and background vibes.