April Showers
Every day, April showers.
She makes sure to shower every day. For a time, it wasn't the case. One day she went into work and overheard one of her co-workers talk about how it's bad to shower every day. How it's better to shower every other day. So April took this advice.
Every other day, April showered.
But April's hair got all greasy and oily. She hated the way her skin felt. So she decided that her co-worker was untrustworthy and went back to showering every day.
Every day, April showers.
Sometimes, April showers twice a day. Those times happen to be on a day when it is particularly hot or she went out for a run. She heard exercise was good for her body from an infomercial. She took the advice of the infomercial. But after coming home from runs, she found herself covered in sweat. So she would shower. On summers, she would sweat without ever running. April found the best solution to said problem would be to take constant showers.
Every moment of the day, April showers.
At least in the summers. Except when it came to sleeping. But sleep was a struggle. So much tossing and turning. It was easier to sleep in the shower. It was where she grew the most comfortable. She had gotten into such a habit that every summer, she would quit her job and spend the whole three months in her shower. Come autumn and winter, there was a towel ready for her to dry herself off with. Still, even if it was no longer a constant, she couldn't go a day without stepping over the tub.
Every day, April showers.
She got tired of doing it in the day time, though. Nights were so much more convenient. In the mornings she had to get ready for work and sometimes when she got out of bed, she didn't have time to shower. It took long enough as it was just to get dressed. But once home from work, her body smelling of everything she came in contact with, there was her lover with a head that sprayed down water.
Every night, April showers.
But then she would wake up and find her hair a mess and decided the best way to fix it would be a shower. She decided to take one in the morning and take one at night. It would be just like when she exercised. After some time at her job, she discovered that there was a workplace shower. She cheered once she made such a discovery and every day on her lunch break she would disrobe and take a shower. Before her break would be over, she would get back dressed in her work uniform, itching to take another shower.
Three times a day, April showers.
But three times wasn't enough. She thought about showers whenever she wasn't in one. Some days she would blurt out to people on the streets how she wanted to be in the shower at that very moment. She didn't mean to, but the urge grew stronger with each passing day. Showers were much more pleasant than whatever the world was like outside of a shower. People don't stare down at you and spray you with miniature rain clouds on command like a shower does. Showers got her. People didn't.
April showers.
So should you. April thinks so. April thinks you should be taking a shower right now. It helps you relax. April's best thoughts are in the shower. She thinks about how she would like to give motivational speeches about showers while in the shower. Showers showering praises upon her. April loves showers and April hopes showers love her too.
April fell asleep in the shower.
She had a dream where the shower showered her with affection. Its head bowed down to her and sprinkled little love fluids, or, in her own words, water. April loved water, but only in the shower. The shower loved April too, but only in April's dream. When April woke up, she was still taking a shower. She closed her eyes and imagined that the shower was taking her as well. Away to a far off land where she never had to step out of the shower. Perhaps she was already there. In that land, showers were everywhere and for every shower, there was an April, occupying.
April showers.
Just as she should. It is hygienic and good for the pores. She has become the ultimate prune and her skin has never felt so fresh. So smooth, so ready to peel off. How callous for the skin to die off and be replaced by healthier, better skin. April didn't need skin. She had surpassed nakedness. She surpassed the entire concept of 'skin' into a realm of existence that could only be described as 'shower form'. Many researchers have looked into 'shower form' but the results have been inconclusive as no one else wants to replicate the experiences of April. But that's what makes April special: the fact that April showers. In fact, even in death, April never stopped showering. Some debated on turning the shower off, but even though there was no longer any hot water, they found it disrespectful to interrupt someone's shower.
So to this day, April showers.
Whatever one might consider April to be, it is a known law that what occupies the shower is April. When that law was established it was placed in the history books, then the Museum of Modern Art. Following that, many publications ran articles on how problematic the law was. There were protests, riots, revolts, followed by revolutions, coups, and overthrows. When all was said and done, many decided never to take a shower again. Such a notion gained a following until that too was made into law. The new law stated:
April showers, no one else.
After a while, some noticed that their names were April. So a new law passed:
Those named April may shower.