#barglar

[lotro-play]

One Burrahobbit comes in Archet.

[dylan-russell]

Barglar the Alien

The alien named Barglar was squat, green, shamelessly bald, and had one bulging eye left of center. The alien was also furious. He was furious not because the bathroom light wasn’t working, and it certainly wasn’t, but because his most destructive phasers weren’t working. Phasers built by structural engineers in his home planet. A planet so structurally advanced that structures provided entire populations sustenance.

Structures had advanced from simple shelter giving constructions to objects that could be consumed for nourishment, hydration, and even provide sexual stimulation. Of course this created a multitude of problems, the agricultural based economy crashed and population went into steep decline, but that had been centuries ago. Such primitive problems had since been resolved, as structural technology had advanced even further. So for phasers, a fairly basic construct, to be inoperable was beyond stunning – it was bordering on the unbelievable.

And so it came to pass that Barglar questioned the motives of his kin. “I left my planet with one noble goal in mind: mindless destruction of inorganic compounds, and my kin have now made this difficult” he said, mainly to have the statement linger in the air and refuse to leave like a particularly smelly fart.

Barglar’s hatred of inorganic materials began when, as a young child, a building viciously crushed his father. Whether the murder had really been vicious or merely indifferent as has been debated by most structologians didn’t matter to Barglar. What mattered was his dead father, and countless sociological studies which showed he now had reduced earning potential.