The Final Conversation
My family was out bodysurfing in Costa Rica, like we always do when word reaches us of quality waves on the Mediterranean coast, when my dad took a wave way out of his league and nearly died. “What if I had died”, he screamed as we laughed at him. That made me think of this:
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM, MY DAD IS LYING ON HIS DEATHBED - DUSK
Dad: Son, approach me.
Me: I may enter the prohibited zone?
Dad: Yes, come close (first time my dad has allowed me within 5 feet of him in my entire life).
Dad: Son, I don’t have very long, I need you to promise me that you’ll take care of our family.
Me: OK, but they’re all fully grown adults, financially healthy, well set up for long productive careers, I don’t think -
Dad: Your my only son dammit, I need you to be the man of the family now.
Me: Ok sure, but what does that even mean in today’s society with gender roles being broken down and coming together like never before?
Dad: And one more thing. The secret to happiness. I wanted to keep it to myself but now I’m dying and I don’t want it to die with me.
I move in even closer as my dad pulls out his wallet. For the first time in my life I’m close enough to smell him - he smells like a combination of corn and lobster. This may be because he just finished eating a lobster corn chowder, but it could just as easily be his natural musk.
Dad: The secret to happiness is the exact combination of money, family as represented by family photos, and 20% off Indian Pavilion’s Lunch Buffet coupons, found in this wallet.
Me: ...there’s only one family photo in here and it’s missing both your daughters.
I start to leave the room. As I reach the door my dad sits bolt upright in his bed.
Dad: One more thing I almost forgot! Catch!
Dad tosses something at me, it catches the light as it hurtles towards me and I read ‘Ford Mustang’ written in metallic letters. I do a quadruple backflip off the wall, flash my dad a thumbs up on the second flip, and catch the keychain mid air, “thanks Pa”.










