I don't want to ride anymore. I don't own a horse and I've been riding my lesson horse for a year. We've moved backwards. Leg means go, reins mean go, nothing means stop. I don't enjoy riding her, it's draining but she's my only option at this barn.
Hi hun,
You sound really frustrated, understandably so! Honestly to me, it sounds like it might be time for a different barn. You're not moving forward, and you're not even wanting to do this anymore, and if this barn/this horse is making you feel this way, it may be time for a change.
You could always try talking to your instructor first, if you'd prefer to try to ride where you are. Let them know how you're feeling about this and ask if there's any other horse you can ride, or if you can work on fixing these things so that the horse is more enjoyable to ride. If that doesn't work, I would visit some nearby barns and ask to take a trial lesson at any barn you think you might be interested in.
It's also possible that the horse could be feeling just as burnt out on things as you are. If you're allowed to/able to do so, it might help to just take some hacks/fun-rides with your lesson horse. Taking a step back from training to just focus on relaxing and having a little fun can sometimes make a world of difference in a horse's attitude or your approach to them.
If all else fails, there's nothing wrong with taking a break. Sometimes you really need to step back from things, and that's okay. Some people might look down on a decision to take a break (or, if you go that route, even to quit), but honestly it's all your choice -- and you should make the choice that's best for you. You're the one living your life, not them.
I wish you to best of luck, and I hope you find a solution that helps you!
<3 Admin Shan