#barryallensmut

[hppylaw]

Steve Rogers/ Chris Evans & Barry Allen/ Grant Gustin Aesthetics

•Masterlist•

[hppylaw]

Because I’m not needed (Barry Allen x reader)

Warning: I do no own any character from The Flash just my character

<Master list>

Summary: Thank to the person who send this hopefully you liked it

Ever since the singularity happened, we fell apart—especially Barry. He pushed all of us away, not wanting us to get hurt. He does all the hero work on his own now, and I could help too. I mean, I’ve dealt with stronger people in Star City, Gotham City, Keystone City, and Opal City. They all have some sort of bad guy, but that’s not the point.

I have known Barry and Iris since they were small. We were so close. I would always protect Barry from Tony. Me and Iris would even help Barry when his mother died. We were his shoulder to cry on. I would also help Barry escape the West House to go see his dad, and me and Barry would get in trouble with Joe. Joe was like my father. I would come over to their house a lot of times.

I lived with my grandmother, even though she doesn’t really care where I go as long as I come back to the house. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. So I would always hang out with Barry and Iris.

When we grew up, we were so attached to each other. We would tell each other everything, and we all grew to be best friends.

I got multiple degrees in science. I do a little bit of everything—I’m really smart—and that’s how I got into S.T.A.R. Labs. I helped build the Particle Accelerator, and it didn’t turn out so good. Everything that Harrison Wells told us was a lie. He lied to each and every one of us, and we stood by him through everything, even when the city hated him.

What hurt the most was that he was not only my boss and mentor, but someone me and Barry looked up to for a really long time. He ruined Barry’s childhood, and that’s what led Eddie to shoot himself, and Ronnie not making it when Firestorm went to help Barry.

I go visit Caitlin and Cisco from time to time, but I wish we could be a team again. That is, if Barry would stop pushing us away. He is so stubborn. I think that’s what led me to talking to him. I know he’s in CC Jitters trying to build it up again.

I was driving my motorcycle to CC Jitters. It was starting to get dark, but I didn’t really mind it.

I parked in front of CC Jitters, turned off my motorcycle, and took off my helmet. I got off and took a deep breath, trying to steady myself.

I know for a fact that he doesn’t want to see me.

I walked in and saw Barry cleaning up Jitters.

“You know, you could speed through this instead of taking your time,” I said.

He turned around and looked at me. I gave him a small smile.

“What are you doing here, y/n?” Barry said.

I played with my keys.

“I wanted to see you. I haven’t seen my best friend for a pretty long time. And I get it—you don’t want to talk to anyone. You feel responsible for what happened to Eddie and Ronnie, and not only them, but what happened in the city. You’re angry. I know,” I said.

I saw Barry sigh.

“Are you here to talk to me about Flash Day? Because Iris and Joe already tried,” Barry said.

“No, that’s not what I was going to talk to you about. I know you don’t want the Key to the City because you feel like you don’t deserve it, and because you feel like you’re not a hero,” I said.

He turned to look at me. I leaned against the doorframe of Jitters. He didn’t say anything.

“You know, Barr, other superheroes would die for their city to have a day for them,” I said with a little laugh.

“You wanted to talk to me about something,” he said.

“Yeah… um—” I was trying to figure out how to tell him.

“Someone came by my house. A man gave me a USB. He said it was from Harrison Wells. I just wanted you to know that before I leave,” I said nervously.

He looked at me.

“What was in it?” Barry asked.

“I don’t know. I was too scared to open it. But it doesn’t really matter because I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to,” I said, putting my hand in my jacket and looking down.

“You’re leaving?” Barry asked.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Yeah. It’s not permanent. I’m just leaving for two days. I texted Oliver asking if they wouldn’t mind me going over there. I think I just need to get out of Central for a few days since it doesn’t feel like home anymore. Everything’s gone really bad, and I didn’t think I was needed anymore,” I said.

“Does Iris and Joe know?” Barry asked.

“Yeah. I told them this morning. They told me to try and talk you into going to Flash Day, but I didn’t because I know you don’t want to go, so I’m not pushing you,” I said.

“You know, when you said you think you’re not needed anymore… that’s not true,” Barry said.

“I didn’t think I was needed anymore. I mean, I haven’t been helpful for months, and everyone on the team is just as broken as you. I lost Ronnie—he was like a brother to me—and Caitlin’s husband. And Eddie… he made Iris really happy, and now he’s gone too,” I said, upset.

“But that doesn’t mean you weren’t needed,” Barry said.

“Barry—” I didn’t finish because he didn’t let me speak.

“You’re my best friend, y/n. You’ve been there for me through everything, even before Iris. You helped me as the Flash, and you always cheered me up when I was angry or sad. I wouldn’t be the Flash or Barry Allen without you,” he said, looking at me.

I smiled.

“You’re annoying, you know that,” I said sarcastically.

“I’m not annoying. I’m your best friend,” Barry said.

I smiled again.

“I should go. You’re busy, and I need to pack my suitcase for tomorrow,” I said, taking out my keys.

“R-right… yeah,” Barry said.

I started walking out, until Barry called my name.

I turned around.

He flashed toward me and kissed me.

I kissed him back. I put my arms around his neck, and he placed his hands on my waist. I pulled away, and our foreheads rested together.

“I didn’t know if you felt the same, so I took the risk and kissed you before you left,” Barry said.

“You did it in a very Barry Allen way,” I said with a smile.

“I love you, y/n,” Barry said.

I bit my lip.

“I love you too, Barry,” I said.

“You don’t know how long I waited for you to tell me that,” Barry said.

“I guess we were both scared,” I said.

Barry agreed.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Barry said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I love you and I need you,” he said.

“What do I tell Oliver? ‘Hey, never mind, I’m actually not coming to Star City’?” I said.

“You could tell him that,” Barry said.

I hit his shoulder softly.

“You really want me to stay?” I said.

He nodded.

“Okay… just because you told me to,” I said.

He hummed and kissed me again. I pulled away.

“What—” I was going to say something, but Barry shut me up by kissing me again.

I pulled away once more.

“You did not just shut me up by kissing me,” I said.

“But I did, and I’ll do it again if I have to,” Barry said.

“I stand by what I said—you’re annoying,” I said.

“I might be annoying, but you love—” Barry didn’t finish because I kissed him to shut him up this time.

He pulled away.

“See how annoying it is?” I said.

“Yes, but I love kissing you,” Barry said.

“It’s getting late. We should head out,” I said.

“Yeah, let me grab something,” Barry said, speeding around. He came back quickly.

“Okay, done,” he said.

He grabbed my hand, and we walked out of CC Jitters. He locked it.

“Where are we going?” Barry asked.

“How about food? I’m starving, and you’re probably starving too,” I said.

He nodded.

“How about Big Belly Burger?” Barry asked.

“I’m down. Now get on my bike,” I said, getting on.

“I don’t know… I could speed us there,” Barry said.

“You could, but that would mean our clothes would set on fire, and my bike could get stolen,” I said.

“Fine,” he said, getting on and holding my waist.

“Alright,” I said, starting my motorcycle and speeding away to get some food.

I guess things could get better. Me and Barry finally confessed that we love each other, and I’m happy—and so is he. Slowly, months pass, and the team gets back together. But new threats come our way… more like Earth-2 meta-humans and Zoom. Like we didn’t already have a speedster before this.

[hppylaw]

Strange feeling (Barry Allen x reader)

Warning: Fluff,cute, stronge language, no sexual content

Warning: I do not own any of the flash content or the characters it’s just for the story, I only own my character and the story I’m writing

Summary: your in love with Barry Allen but he is with Iris west, your a meta human but your have multiple powers, it comes to the end where you have to confess your feeling so you can move on! But will you? That’s until you meet someone knew and you don’t know what to do?

•~•Series Masterlist•~•

"Do you ever get that feeling when you're with someone, your whole world stops, and your heart beats like a million miles per hour? Well, that's me right now, stuck with my emotions of being in love with the one and only Barry Allen. Oh God, you don't even know how much I want to tell him how I feel, but I can't because he's with Iris.

Sometimes I wish I could have been faster, but sometimes even the fastest woman alive is slow!

Oh, you didn't know? Yes, my name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I'm the fastest woman alive. Well, not only the fastest but the strongest.

Okay, I'm probably confusing you all.

Well, I was struck by the particle accelerator as well. I was in my lab in Mercury Labs that night, and I was trying to find a solution for one of my experiments. There were a lot of dangerous chemicals, and that's when lightning struck me. All the chemicals that I mixed in a container went into my body, as well as other chemicals that were around me.

I woke up in S.T.A.R. Labs, and my friends explained to me what happened. That's where it leads us today, me helping my friends stop our big bad, Savitar."

"(Y/N), hello, are you listening to me? (Y/N)!" Cisco says.

"What? What's up, Francisco?" I say.

Cisco just rolls his eyes.

"I have been calling you for the past 2 minutes, and you seem to be daydreaming about your Prince Charming," he says.

"No, I haven't. I just got lost in thought, trying to figure out how to stop Savitar, okay?" I say.

He looks at me with the eyes that say, 'I don't believe you, but whatever you say.'

I was about to say something until a certain speedster speeds into the lab, putting hair in my face, and the papers are thrown all over the floor.

"No! I just organized all of those papers!" I say.

"Sorry, (Y/N)," Barry says.

"It's fine, I guess," I say.

I see Barry giving me an apologetic smile. I can't help but smile. I use my speed to pick up all the papers and sit down like I did a good job.

"That gets annoying," Cisco says, pointing at both of us.

"Hey, at least you don't have a mess. Be a little bit more appreciative, won't you?" I say.

Cisco glares at me, and Barry just laughs.

"Okay, first of all, you made that mess," Cisco says.

"No! Barry did!" I say.

"Okay, whatever, (Y/N)," Cisco says.

I flip him off, and he gasps like he was offended.

I get up and get my bag ready to head out until Barry stops me.

"Where are you going?" Barry says to me.

"I'm going to CC Jitters. I need a drink like right now," I say.

"I'm coming with you," Barry says.

"Bring me a coffee," Cisco says.

"Fine," I say.

Me and Barry walk out, talking about everything. We haven't had a chance to talk in a long time since he is always with Iris.

"Okay, do you remember that time you tried to ask Becky Cooper to prom but failed miserably?" I say.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Barry says.

"Barr, it was really bad. You hesitated and rambled a lot, but it was cute and adorable," I say.

"You thought it was cute, and so did Becky," he says.

"Whatever, Barr," I say.

"It's true. You thought it was cute, and I got a yes from Becky," he says.

I roll my eyes, and we get to CC Jitters.

I order a caramel iced coffee, and Barry orders black coffee. I order two coffees for Caitlin and Cisco.

We sit down at a table.

"How are things going with you and Iris?" I say.

"They're going great. I finally got the girl. You know, your brother said guys like me and him never get the girl, but he was wrong," Barry says.

"Oliver said that?" I say.

"Yeah, but I got the girl," Barry says with a smile on his face.

I was a little bit hurt by it because when you like someone, you hate it when they're with someone and it's not you. It hurts your heart like it's being ripped in half like a piece of paper.

"I'm happy for you, Barry," I say with a small smile.

I drink some of my coffee.

"Thank you, (Y/N). It means a lot to me since we both basically grew up together like siblings," Barry says.

OUCH! That hurt. Stuck in the friend zone!

I mean, he's not wrong, but I wouldn't put it that way. I think of it like we're both best friends. If only he knew how I felt.

But then I get a strange feeling that maybe I shouldn't. I don't want to ruin anything between us because then I'll make things awkward between us, and Iris would hate me knowing that I said I love you to her boyfriend.

Plus, I don't even know if Barry likes me.

I really need to stop talking to myself in my head.

"Yeah, we both basically grew up together after everything that happened between my parents and your mom," I say.

"Yeah, and you have been there for me through everything. No matter where we both are, we always seem to find each other and make sure everything's okay," Barry says.

"That's true. We always find each other," I say with a smile on my face.

"So Iris wanted to have a family dinner with Wally, Joe, me, you, and her tomorrow," Barry says.

I look at him.

"Oh, she hasn't told me anything about it yet," I say.

"She was going to tell you, but I beat her to it," Barry says.

"Guess you did there, Speedster," I say with a grin on my face.

We both laugh and keep talking about the random things we can think of, plus some science because we're both nerds.

We both get our things ready to head out.

I go to get napkins in case the coffee spills, and I bump into someone.

"OMG! I'm so sorry! Oh Jesus!" I say as I grab napkins.

I look at who I bumped into, and it was a male with beautiful brown eyes.

He laughs.

(That’s a picture of him! Thank you Andrew Garfield)

"It's fine. I should be the one to apologize. I bumped into you," he says.

I let out a nervous laugh.

"No, I dropped your coffee on you. I'm so sorry. I'll pay for another coffee and your shirt," I say as I try to clean his shirt.

"It's fine. You don't have to pay for anything," he says as he tries stopping me from cleaning him.

"No, it's not okay. I ruined your shirt," I say as I go through my bag trying to find money to pay the guy.

"Hey, it's fine. You don't need to pay me anything," he says, trying to get my attention.

"Besides, I don't even like this shirt," he says.

I look at him.

"So then why are you wearing it?" I say.

"I guess I needed to wear it before throwing it away," he says.

I let out a giggle.

"I didn't get your name," he says.

"Oh! My name is (Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/L/N)," I say as I extend my hand to shake his hand.

"My name is Chris, Chris Peters," he says as he shakes my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Chris," I say.

"Nice to meet you too, (Y/N). You know, you have the most beautiful name," he says, making me turn red and nervous.

"Thank you," I say with a smile.

He gives me a smile.

He was so handsome and cute.

I turn to look at Barry, and he doesn't have a happy face. He looks really bothered almost jealous. Maybe I am reading to much into it.

"Are you here alone?" Chris says.

"Um... no, actually. I'm here with a friend. I was supposed to get napkins and get ready to head out," I say.

"Oh, well, I suppose I'm keeping you from your friend," Chris says.

"No, it's okay," I say.

Chris gives me a smile.

"Okay, well, it looks like you're in a hurry, so why don't you give me your phone number and maybe we can hang out sometime?" Chris says.

I nod, and he passes me his phone.

I put my phone number in his phone, and he puts his phone number in my phone.

I apologize again. He says it was fine and hopefully he'll get to see me again.

I turn even redder and tell him we'll have to see.

I walk back to Barry, and I see him a little upset.

"Hey, you okay?" I say.

"Yeah, fine," Barry says as he looks at me with the fakest smile.

"Who was that?" he asks.

"Some guy I just met. I accidentally spilled his coffee on his shirt, and I tried paying him, but he said it was fine and that I didn't have to pay him. He also wants to hang out sometime," I say, trying to explain to Barry.

"Oh," Barry says.

"Yeah, he had the prettiest eyes, and he was actually cute and attractive," I say.

I see Barry become really bothered.

Why is he acting strange? I say in my head.

"I don't trust him, and I don't like how he was acting with you. Plus, I really do not think you should see him again," Barry says.

I look at him like he's crazy.

"Barry, what are you talking about? He's a nice guy, and I don't think you can tell me what to do or who to hang out with. That isn't your job," I say in a serious tone.

"(Y/N), you can't be serious. You just met this guy. How do you know if he's not using you or trying to kidnap you? How do you know if he's not a meta?" Barry says.

"Okay, look, Barry. I know you're protective, and you care about me, but I want to get to know him, and I actually have a good feeling about him." I say.

Barry looks a bit taken aback.

"You can't be serious, (Y/N). I don't want you near him," he says.

"Okay, I'm done talking about this. You're not the boss of me. We should probably head back to S.T.A.R. Labs," I say angrily.

Barry tries to speak to me, but I grab the coffee and walk out.

I hear Barry's footsteps right behind me.

I walk into the alley, making sure there is no one around, and I speed to S.T.A.R. Labs, leaving Barry alone.

So I wrote this fan fiction and I’m going to make it into a series because why not! I hope you enjoyed it and to be continued. ‘What’s going to happen, is (y/n) going to fall in love with Chris, is she finally going to get over Barry, is Barry going to finally realize he loves (y/n) and not Iris?’

[hppylaw]

I thought this was my Legacy but it isn’t none of this is! (Barry Allen x reader) part.4

Warning: inappropriate language, mention of abuse, depression

Warning: I do not own any of the flash content or the characters it’s just for the story, I only own my character and the story I’m writing

Summary: you the reader are in love with Barry Allen but he is married to Iris West and you get to your breaking point

•~• Series Masterlist•~•-

•Reader's POV•

Why does everything have to happen to me? Why?

The thought wouldn't leave me alone.

It echoed through my head over and over again like a broken record.

No matter how hard I tried to push it away, it always came back.

Barry.

Team Flash.

DeVoe.

My parents.

Everything.

I slammed my fist into the workbench beside me, causing tools to rattle and fall onto the floor.

"Why?" I whispered.

My throat felt tight.

My chest hurt.

I wasn't even sure what I was angry about anymore.

Was I angry at Barry?

At myself?

At DeVoe?

Or was I just tired?

Tired of being hurt.

Tired of feeling abandoned.

Tired of pretending I was okay.

I took a shaky breath and rubbed my eyes.

I couldn't focus.

Not on the Elite Sphere.

Not on DeVoe's plans.

Not on anything.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Barry standing in front of me.

"I love you."

The words made my stomach twist.

I stood up abruptly and walked out of my workshop.

The abandoned house was quiet.

Too quiet.

The silence made my thoughts louder.

I rounded the corner and immediately froze.

Marlize DeVoe stood in the middle of the room.

Waiting for me.

My eyes narrowed.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

Marlize looked exhausted.

Dark circles rested beneath her eyes.

Her expression wasn't fearful.

It was guilty.

"I came to fix you."

I frowned.

"What?"

Before I could react, Marlize pulled a small device from her pocket.

A sharp hiss filled the room.

Something struck my neck.

Pain spread through my skin.

My vision blurred.

The room tilted.

"Marlize..." I muttered.

The last thing I saw was regret in her eyes before darkness swallowed me whole.

•Marlize DeVoe's POV•

"I'm sorry, Ms. (Y/L/N)," I whispered.

My hands trembled as I caught her unconscious body.

She weighed almost nothing.

The girl who had been carrying the weight of the world was now completely vulnerable.

I carefully dragged her toward one of the chairs.

Every bruise on her arms.

Every cut.

Every scar.

They were reminders of what Clifford had done.

Of what I had allowed.

I swallowed hard.

I opened a small case and stared at the syringe inside.

The antidote.

Months of research.

Months of secretly searching for a way to undo the damage Clifford had caused.

If this worked...

Maybe she could get her life back.

Maybe she could remember who she truly was.

I raised the syringe.

Then a voice stopped me.

"What are you doing?"

My blood ran cold.

Clifford stood behind me.

His expression was unreadable.

I tightened my grip on the antidote.

"I was putting an antidote in her."

His eyes darkened instantly.

"You betray me."

"No."

I stepped forward.

Anger finally replacing fear.

"No, Clifford. I thought you were doing this for a good cause. I thought you wanted to help humanity."

Tears burned in my eyes.

"But you're destroying lives."

I pointed toward the unconscious girl.

"Look at her."

"You broke her."

"You manipulated her."

"You turned her pain into a weapon."

Clifford remained silent.

For a moment, he almost looked disappointed.

Then his face became emotionless.

"Well then."

He raised his hand.

"I'm sorry, Marlize."

Gravity began twisting around him.

A breach started opening.

I knew exactly what he was about to do.

He was going to get rid of me.

Forever.

Then red lightning exploded across the room.

•Reader's POV•

My eyes snapped open.

Pain shot through my skull.

Everything felt foggy.

But one thing was crystal clear.

DeVoe was about to hurt Marlize.

Red lightning erupted around my body.

In less than a second I appeared between them.

I shoved Marlize behind me.

"What are you doing, DeVoe?" I growled.

The room shook as crimson electricity crawled across my arms.

Marlize stared at me in shock.

DeVoe's eyes narrowed.

"She betrayed me."

His voice was calm.

Dangerously calm.

"She's my wife and she chose to stand against me."

He pointed toward Marlize.

"She tried fixing you."

He smiled.

"And you were perfect."

For a second those words hit something inside me.

Perfect.

Was that all I was to him?

A weapon?

A project?

Something to control?

Something to use?

My hands clenched.

"I don't care what she did."

My voice trembled with anger.

"I'm done helping you."

The room went silent.

Even DeVoe looked surprised.

"I am not going to stand here and let you hurt someone."

Something flickered in his eyes.

Disappointment.

Then annoyance.

Then rage.

"You betray me as well."

"Yeah."

I took a step forward.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

The air exploded.

DeVoe attacked first.

Gravity crashed into me like a freight train.

I flew backward through a table.

Wood splintered around me.

Pain shot through my ribs.

Before I could recover, I launched a blast of red energy.

DeVoe blocked it.

The impact shattered windows throughout the room.

I threw lightning.

He countered with telekinesis.

Furniture flew everywhere.

Glass exploded.

Metal twisted.

The entire hideout shook around us.

Behind me, Marlize screamed.

I immediately threw up a force field around her.

A glowing crimson barrier surrounded her body.

Nothing would touch her.

Nothing.

"You still protect people."

DeVoe laughed.

"Pathetic."

I roared and blasted him across the room.

He smashed through a wall.

I grabbed Goldface's weapon and pointed it directly at his chest.

My hands were shaking.

Not from fear.

From fury.

"Me and Marlize are done helping you."

For a moment, nobody moved.

Then DeVoe smiled.

"You have no idea what's coming."

The floor suddenly disappeared beneath me.

Gravity twisted.

My body slammed through a glass table.

A large shard drove into my stomach.

I screamed.

White-hot pain exploded through my body.

Blood immediately soaked my shirt.

The world spun.

I could barely breathe.

But then I saw DeVoe moving toward Marlize.

No.

Not her.

Not again.

With a scream of pure rage, I unleashed everything.

A massive blast struck DeVoe directly in the chest.

He staggered.

I opened a breach.

The portal ripped open behind him.

Before he could recover, I slammed another blast into him.

The force launched him backward.

Straight into the breach.

His eyes widened.

Then he vanished.

The breach closed.

Silence.

I collapsed onto my knees.

Blood dripped onto the floor.

My vision blurred.

Everything hurt.

Everything.

Marlize ran toward me.

"Oh my God."

Her voice shook.

"You're losing a lot of blood."

I pressed my hand against the wound.

Warm blood seeped between my fingers.

"We need to go."

"You can't move."

"We need to go."

I forced myself to stand.

"DeVoe is coming back."

Marlize looked terrified.

I was too.

But I refused to stay.

Then I remembered something.

The technology.

The weapons.

The experiments.

Everything DeVoe could still use.

"Wait."

Marlize grabbed my arm.

"What are you doing?"

"There are dangerous things here."

I gritted my teeth against the pain.

"He could still use them."

Understanding crossed her face.

"I need to take them."

Marlize stared at the blood covering my clothes.

"How?"

I forced a weak smile.

"I have a few tricks."

The next few minutes were agony.

Every movement felt like a knife twisting deeper into my stomach.

But I kept moving.

Speeding from room to room.

Collecting weapons.

Data drives.

Technology.

Anything DeVoe could use.

By the end my vision was almost completely blurred.

The bag hung heavily over my shoulder.

The briefcase felt impossible to carry.

But I refused to leave anything behind.

Together, Marlize and I stumbled outside.

I turned back one last time.

At the hideout.

At the place where everything changed.

At the place where I became Invictus.

I raised my hand.

Red lightning exploded outward.

The abandoned house collapsed in on itself.

Walls crumbled.

Fire erupted.

Within seconds nothing remained but ruins.

I climbed into the van.

And for the first time in weeks...

I felt absolutely exhausted.

As Marlize drove away, I leaned my head against the window.

Blood stained my hands.

My clothes.

My skin.

Everything.

"Where are we going?" I asked weakly.

"To a house I own."

I nodded.

For once...

I didn't argue.

Thirty minutes later we arrived.

The house was beautiful.

Warm.

Safe.

Everything my childhood had never been.

Marlize helped me upstairs.

Each step sent fresh pain through my body.

By the time we reached the bedroom, I could barely keep my eyes open.

She carefully laid me on the bed.

The room spun.

My hearing faded.

I watched her rush around gathering medical supplies.

"Hold on, (Y/N)," Marlize said.

I tried.

I really tried.

But darkness pulled me under.

Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to be free?

To wake up and not be afraid?

To have a family that loves you?

To belong somewhere?

I always wanted that.

A real home.

Real parents.

People who chose me.

People who stayed.

But life doesn't always give you what you want.

Sometimes it gives you scars instead.

Sometimes it gives you nightmares.

Sometimes it gives you pain and calls it survival.

And eventually...

That pain becomes part of who you are.

Maybe that's why I became this.

Maybe that's why Invictus exists.

Because (Y/N) got tired of being hurt.

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

The sunlight coming through the window almost blinded me.

For a moment I forgot where I was.

Then the pain in my stomach reminded me.

I looked down.

Bandages wrapped tightly around my wound.

I carefully leaned back against the pillow.

The door opened.

Marlize stepped inside.

She looked relieved to see me awake.

"How are you feeling?"

I let out a small laugh.

A painful one.

"I feel fine."

A lie.

"But thank you for patching me up."

Marlize smiled softly.

"You're welcome."

She sat beside me.

"It's the least I can do after you protected me from Clifford."

I studied her.

Really studied her.

For the first time she looked broken.

Not physically.

Emotionally.

The same way I felt.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

She nodded.

But tears filled her eyes.

I slowly reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I'm fine."

She forced a smile.

"Things didn't turn out how I wanted them to."

I squeezed her hand gently.

"Sometimes bad things happen."

My voice was softer than it had been in weeks.

"But that doesn't mean good things won't come."

Marlize stared at me.

Then she smiled through her tears.

"Those sound like familiar words."

For the first time in a long time...

I smiled back.

“Thank you for showing me the light,” I whispered.

The words felt strange leaving my mouth.

For so long all I had seen was darkness.

Pain.

Anger.

Hatred.

I looked down at my hands.

The same hands that had hurt Barry.

The same hands that had destroyed S.T.A.R. Labs.

The same hands that DeVoe had turned into a weapon.

For weeks I had convinced myself I was right.

That Team Flash had betrayed me.

That Barry never cared.

That everyone would eventually leave me.

Now I wasn't so sure anymore.

Marlize gave me a small smile.

"You're welcome."

There was sadness in her eyes.

The sadness of someone who wished they had acted sooner.

"I saw that you needed help," Marlize continued quietly. "I saw a girl who was hurting and a man who used that pain against her."

I swallowed hard.

"Clifford manipulated you. He took every bad memory, every fear, every insecurity you've ever had and made them louder."

I looked away.

The memories came rushing back.

Barry lying on the floor bleeding.

Cisco's terrified expression.

Caitlin crying.

Joe pointing a gun at me.

I remembered every second.

Every scream.

Every threat.

Every terrible thing I had done.

"He made your mind believe your team betrayed you," Marlize said softly. "He twisted the truth until you couldn't tell what was real anymore."

A tear slipped down my cheek.

I quickly wiped it away.

"There never going to forgive me."

My voice cracked.

For the first time since everything happened, I allowed myself to admit how scared I really was.

"What if they're right to hate me?"

I laughed bitterly.

"What if they're better off without me?"

Marlize immediately shook her head.

"No."

Her answer came without hesitation.

"Everyone makes mistakes."

I looked at her.

She looked exhausted.

Broken.

Just like me.

"I stayed beside Clifford for years believing I could save him."

Tears gathered in her eyes.

"I watched him become someone I didn't recognize anymore."

She looked down at her hands.

"And I still stayed."

I could hear the guilt in her voice.

The regret.

The self-hatred.

"We all make mistakes, Ms. (Y/L/N)."

She squeezed my hand.

"What makes us human is what we do afterward."

The room became quiet.

Too quiet.

I stared at the floor.

"I let my darkness take over."

The words felt heavy.

Painful.

Because they were true.

No excuses.

No lies.

No blaming DeVoe.

At some point I had stopped fighting.

At some point I had embraced the anger because it was easier than facing the hurt.

Marlize nodded slowly.

"Then stop letting it control you."

I looked up.

Her eyes met mine.

"Use your powers for good."

She smiled gently.

"Be the hero people already know you are."

The hero.

I didn't feel like one.

Heroes didn't threaten their friends.

Heroes didn't stab people.

Heroes didn't become monsters.

Yet somehow Marlize still believed I could be one.

I took a shaky breath.

Then I nodded.

"But first..."

I slowly sat up despite the pain in my stomach.

The wound immediately protested.

I clenched my jaw and pushed through it.

"We need to stop DeVoe."

The softness disappeared from my voice.

Now there was determination.

Purpose.

Marlize noticed it too.

A small smile crossed her face.

"Together."

I nodded.

"Together."

Slowly I stood from the bed.

Pain shot through my side.

The room spun for a moment.

Marlize quickly moved forward.

"You should be resting."

"I don't have time to rest."

I grabbed the edge of the dresser for balance.

Outside the window the sky was already beginning to darken.

Time was running out.

"Clifford isn't going to stop."

I turned toward her.

"You know what he's planning."

Marlize nodded.

"He wants The Enlightenment."

"He wants control."

"He wants everyone to think exactly the way he does."

"And he'll destroy anyone who gets in his way."

Marlize's expression darkened.

"What do you suggest, Ms. (Y/L/N)?"

I took a deep breath.

"I think you should help Team Flash."

Her eyes widened slightly.

"What?"

"You're the only person who knows Clifford better than anyone."

I walked toward the desk and began gathering my equipment.

"You know his habits."

"His plans."

"His weaknesses."

I looked directly at her.

"They need you."

Marlize stared at me.

"And will you be coming with me?"

The question hurt more than I expected.

Because part of me wanted to.

Part of me wanted to walk into S.T.A.R. Labs and apologize.

To tell Barry I was sorry.

To tell Cisco, Caitlin, Joe, and Iris that I never meant to hurt them.

But I couldn't.

Not yet.

I shook my head.

"No."

Marlize looked confused.

I turned away.

"I have other things I need to do."

I opened the case containing the Elite Sphere.

The silver and purple technology reflected in my eyes.

"I have a plan to stop the satellites."

Understanding slowly crossed her face.

"And if my plan fails..."

I didn't finish the sentence.

I didn't have to.

Marlize understood.

I was preparing to face DeVoe alone.

"You'll stay with Team Flash."

I looked back at her.

"So you'll be safe."

Marlize's eyes softened.

"You still care about protecting people."

I gave a sad smile.

"Someone has to."

For a moment neither of us spoke.

Then Marlize asked the question that had clearly been bothering her.

"How do I get Team Flash to trust me?"

I thought about Barry.

Cisco.

Joe.

All the people I had hurt.

Then I answered honestly.

"You tell them the truth."

Marlize listened carefully.

"You tell them you want to stop Clifford."

"You tell them I sent you."

She looked uncertain.

"They may not believe me."

"They won't."

I laughed quietly.

"At least not at first."

Marlize smiled slightly.

"Then what?"

"Then be honest."

I stepped closer.

"Show them you've changed."

"Show them you're trying."

"That's all anyone can do."

Marlize nodded slowly.

Including me.

"Okay."

She took a deep breath.

"I trust you."

For the first time in a long while, I felt something warm in my chest.

Hope.

"Good."

I carefully picked up my mask.

"Then let's save the world."

A few minutes later I carried Marlize in my arms.

"Hold on."

Red lightning exploded around us.

The world blurred.

Buildings became streaks of light.

Within seconds we arrived at S.T.A.R. Labs.

I gently set her down near the entrance.

Then I handed her one of my energy swords.

Its purple blade illuminated the hallway.

"Just in case."

Marlize smiled.

"Thank you."

I nodded.

Then she started walking toward the Cortex.

Toward her future.

Toward redemption.

I watched until she disappeared from sight.

Then I turned away.

Red lightning crackled around my body.

I pulled the Elite Sphere from my bag.

The final piece.

The only chance I had.

The only way to stop Clifford.

And maybe...

The only way to make up for everything I'd done.

~1 Day Later~

The world was ending.

Purple clouds stretched across the sky like bruises.

People filled the streets below.

Running.

Screaming.

Praying.

Cars were abandoned.

Sirens echoed endlessly through the city.

Fear was everywhere.

DeVoe had done it.

The satellites were active.

The Enlightenment had begun.

I stood alone on top of a skyscraper.

The wind whipped around me.

My new suit shimmered beneath flashes of purple lightning.

Silver armor covered my shoulders and arms.

Purple energy pulsed beneath the fabric.

For the first time since becoming Invictus...

I didn't feel like a villain.

I felt like a hero preparing for her final battle.

I tightened my grip around the Elite Sphere.

"This ends today."

Red lightning exploded beneath my feet.

I launched myself into the sky.

The satellite came into view.

Massive.

Towering.

Deadly.

I raised my hand.

Energy surged through my body.

Every power.

Every lesson.

Every mistake.

Every painful memory.

Everything became one.

I fired.

A massive blast of red and purple energy collided with the satellite.

The explosion illuminated the entire sky.

Metal shattered.

Fire erupted.

The satellite broke apart.

People below began cheering.

But I didn't stop.

There were more.

I raced toward the second satellite.

Lightning tearing across the clouds behind me.

I was halfway there when I felt something.

A presence.

Dark.

Cold.

Familiar.

I stopped instantly.

The air around me grew heavy.

Then a voice echoed through the sky.

"Impressive."

My blood ran cold.

I slowly turned around.

And there he was.

Clifford DeVoe.

Waiting for me.

"This is how you repay me, Ms. (Y/L/N)?" Clifford DeVoe said.

His voice echoed through the ruined streets as purple lightning flashed across the dark sky above us. The satellites continued orbiting overhead, casting an eerie glow over the city. People were screaming in the distance. Cars had stopped moving. The world felt like it was holding its breath.

I tightened my grip on the Elites Sphere.

"I thought you were helping me," I said, my voice beginning to vibrate with anger. "But you lied to me about everything. Team Flash never wanted to get rid of me. They were my only family and friends. I ruined it because you manipulated me into believing your lies."

Red lightning crackled violently around my body.

"I AM DONE WITH YOU, DEVOE!"

For a moment, Clifford simply stared at me.

Then he smiled.

Not a kind smile.

Not a proud smile.

A cold smile.

The smile of a man who believed he had already won.

"I suppose you've finally discovered the truth," DeVoe said calmly. "You and Marlize are both traitors. I should have known better than to place my trust in either of you."

I clenched my jaw.

The guilt inside me twisted like a knife.

Marlize had risked everything to save me.

And I had almost destroyed the people who cared about me.

I could still see Barry bleeding on the floor of the Cortex.

Still hear the fear in Caitlin's voice.

Still remember Iris looking at me as if she didn't recognize me anymore.

The memories hurt.

But they were mine.

Not DeVoe's.

Not manipulated.

Not altered.

Mine.

"Well, now your plan is going straight to hell with you, DeVoe."

His smirk widened.

"Well, Bolt... you have another thing coming."

Hearing my hero name come from his mouth made my skin crawl.

I glared at him.

"Don't call me that."

"Oh, but that's who you are, isn't it?" DeVoe replied. "The hero. The savior. The girl who believes she can fix everything."

Purple energy surrounded his body.

"But you're forgetting something."

He pointed directly at me.

"You're still broken."

I froze.

His eyes narrowed.

"You're still angry."

Another step.

"You're still afraid."

Another.

"You're still carrying every terrible thing that ever happened to you."

His voice became quieter.

More dangerous.

"You still have darkness inside of you, Bolt."

I felt my chest tighten.

Because part of me hated how much those words hurt.

How much they sounded true.

"You can't run from it."

Purple lightning crackled around him.

"You can't bury it."

Another step.

"You can't pretend it doesn't exist."

His eyes locked onto mine.

"So stop fighting it."

I shook my head.

"No."

"You know I'm right."

"No."

His smile grew wider.

"Then why are you trembling?"

I looked down.

My hands were shaking.

Not from fear.

Not from weakness.

From everything.

From the guilt.

The anger.

The regret.

The pain.

Every terrible choice I had made.

Every person I had hurt.

Every bridge I had burned.

I forced myself to look back up.

"No."

My voice was stronger now.

"I'm not you."

The red lightning around me exploded outward.

"Marlize and I thought we were helping someone who wanted to change the world."

The ground cracked beneath my feet.

"We thought you wanted people to be better."

I took a step toward him.

"But all you wanted was control."

Another step.

"You wanted everyone to think like you."

Another.

"You wanted to steal their freedom."

Another.

"You wanted to erase who they are."

I pointed directly at him.

"And we are NOT going to let you do that."

For the first time, DeVoe's smile faded.

Only slightly.

But enough.

"You actually think you're smarter than me?"

"No."

I shook my head.

"We don't think."

I raised the Elites Sphere.

"We know."

The sphere began glowing brighter.

Energy swirled around it.

The air itself seemed to distort.

"We know you're wrong."

The satellites above us flickered.

DeVoe immediately noticed.

His expression darkened.

"You've activated it."

I nodded.

"It's time for you to pay for everything you've done."

For a brief moment, neither of us moved.

The city around us was silent.

Waiting.

Watching.

Then DeVoe chuckled.

A low, unsettling sound.

"You really think this is where the story ends?"

I frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

His smile slowly returned.

Even darker than before.

"No, Invictus."

Purple energy surged around him.

"You finally remembered who you are."

The smile widened.

"But I'm not the only one."

A chill ran down my spine.

The way he said it.

The certainty in his voice.

As if he knew something I didn't.

As if he had been waiting for this moment.

I tightened my grip on the Elites Sphere.

The energy inside it pulsed faster.

"What does that mean?"

DeVoe's eyes gleamed.

And then—

He laughed.

The sound echoed through the city as the sky above us cracked with purple lightning.

I took a deep breath.

Something was wrong.

Terribly wrong.

And for the first time since turning against DeVoe...

I wasn't afraid of him.

I was afraid of what he was about to reveal.

•Marlize's POV•

The alarms throughout S.T.A.R. Labs echoed through the Cortex as I ran inside, my heart pounding violently against my chest. Every screen glowed with reports of chaos spreading across the city. Outside, the sky had become an unnatural shade of purple, streaked with flashes of crimson lightning as DeVoe's satellites activated across the globe.

Everyone turned toward me the moment I entered.

"What’s wrong, Marlize?" Iris asked, immediately noticing the panic on my face.

I struggled to catch my breath.

"Y/N..." I whispered.

The room immediately fell silent.

"That’s what’s wrong."

Barry stepped forward.

"What about her?"

I looked at all of them.

For the first time, I saw fear in their eyes—not fear of Y/N, but fear for her.

"That was her plan all along," I said. "I couldn't understand what she was building. I couldn't understand why she was risking everything. But now I know."

I swallowed hard.

"She created the Elites Sphere to destroy DeVoe's satellites."

The entire team froze.

Cisco's face paled.

"What?"

"The Elites was never meant to be used on something this large," I explained. "It was designed as a last resort. A weapon powerful enough to destroy almost anything."

I clenched my fists.

"But there is a cost."

Barry's expression immediately darkened.

"What cost?"

My voice cracked.

"Death."

The word hung heavily in the room.

No one spoke.

No one moved.

The realization hit them all at once.

Y/N wasn't trying to escape.

She wasn't trying to hurt them.

She wasn't trying to become a villain.

She was preparing to sacrifice herself.

Barry looked like someone had punched the air from his lungs.

"No..."

I nodded.

"Every satellite she destroys increases the energy output."

I pointed toward the sky visible through the monitors.

"The Elites absorbs cosmic energy, dark matter, Speed Force energy, and electrical energy. If it overloads..."

I couldn't finish the sentence.

Caitlin looked horrified.

"She'll die."

I nodded slowly.

"Yes."

Barry immediately stepped forward.

"We have to stop her."

I grabbed his arm before he could leave.

"There's something else."

Everyone looked back at me.

"The Elites is dangerous."

I held up the tablet containing Y/N's research.

"If Clifford gets his hands on it, he can rewrite it and bend it to his command."

Cisco looked disturbed.

"You mean he'd become even stronger?"

"He wouldn't just become stronger."

I looked toward the city skyline.

"He could become unstoppable."

The room fell silent again.

For a brief moment, nobody knew what to say.

Then Iris spoke.

"You trust her?"

I smiled sadly.

"More than she trusts herself."

Everyone stared at me.

"I know what she did."

Images flashed through my mind.

Barry bleeding.

The destroyed Cortex.

The threats.

The anger.

The darkness.

But I also remembered something else.

The moment she stood between me and Clifford.

The moment she chose to protect me.

The moment she saved my life.

"I know she hurt all of you."

I looked directly at Barry.

"I know she scared all of you."

Barry's jaw tightened.

"But deep down she's still fighting."

I felt tears gathering in my eyes.

"Every second."

I looked away.

"She just doesn't know how to come home anymore."

The room became painfully quiet.

Barry lowered his head.

The guilt on his face was impossible to ignore.

For weeks he had been chasing her.

Trying to save her.

Trying to reach her.

And every time she pushed him away.

But now...

Now he finally understood.

She wasn't running from them.

She was running from herself.

Cisco suddenly moved toward the computers.

"We need her location."

Immediately.

The screens lit up.

His fingers flew across the keyboard.

Satellite readings.

Energy signatures.

Speed Force traces.

Finally—

A red dot appeared.

Cisco's eyes widened.

"I found her."

Everyone rushed toward the monitor.

"Where?"

"5th Street and Season Street."

The room instantly became tense.

I looked at the monitor.

The energy readings were off the charts.

My stomach dropped.

Clifford was already there.

Barry saw it too.

"She's fighting him."

Cisco nodded.

"And losing energy fast."

Barry immediately turned toward the suit chamber.

"Suit up."

Nobody hesitated.

Not this time.

The team scattered.

Ralph.

Caitlin.

Cisco.

Joe.

Everyone moved.

Because they all knew what was at stake.

Not just the city.

Not just the satellites.

Y/N.

As Barry activated his suit, I stepped in front of him.

"Barry."

He stopped.

I could see the fear in his eyes.

The fear he had been trying to hide.

The fear of being too late.

I stepped closer.

"She still loves you."

His eyes widened.

"Even after everything?"

I nodded.

"Especially after everything."

For a moment, Barry looked completely broken.

Because now he understood the truth.

Every cruel word.

Every threat.

Every attack.

Every time she pushed him away.

It came from pain.

Not hatred.

I placed a hand on his shoulder.

"She told me to trust all of you."

Barry looked surprised.

"What?"

"She said Team Flash could help me stop Clifford."

A small smile appeared on my face.

"Even when she thought she was a monster, she still believed in all of you."

Barry looked away, fighting back emotion.

I could see tears beginning to form.

"Then we bring her home."

His voice was barely above a whisper.

But it carried more determination than anything I'd heard before.

I smiled.

"Then hurry."

I looked directly into his eyes.

"Because she's preparing to die for this city."

The words hit him like lightning.

His expression immediately changed.

Fear.

Determination.

Love.

All at once.

I stepped back.

"Bring her back, Mr. Allen."

Barry nodded.

"I will."

Red lightning exploded around him.

The Flash disappeared.

One by one, the rest of Team Flash followed.

Within seconds, the Cortex was empty.

Only Iris and I remained.

Outside the windows, the sky continued to burn purple.

And somewhere out there...

Y/N was standing alone against Clifford DeVoe.

Preparing to save the world.

Even if it cost her everything.

[hppylaw]

If only you knew the Truth (Barry Allen x reader)

Warning: inappropriate language, mention of abuse, depression

Warning: I do not own any of the flash content or the characters it’s just for the story, I only own my character and the story I’m writing

Summary: you the reader are in love with Barry Allen but he is married to Iris West and you get to your breaking point

•~•Series Masterlist•~•-

“I have too many emotions. I feel useless most of the time. The only time I actually feel normal is with him—Bartholomew Henry Allen…”

Oh god. You don’t even know how much I’m in love with this boy.

My heart beats faster than he runs.

Everything about him feels perfect—his smile, his lips, his eyes, his face, his laugh.

The only problem is I never told him the truth about my feelings.

But I think it’s too late… because he’s married and happy with his wife, Iris West.

Barry has been in love with Iris since they were little. Every time we would hang out, he would talk about Iris. Always Iris.

And then there are the times I get left out… most of the time when I’m with them.

I’m sitting on the rooftop of my apartment. I’m leaning against the wall, looking out at the city lights shining below me.

I play with my powers in my hands for a moment… then I stop.

I head back down to my apartment. I open the door, walk inside, and check to make sure I’m safe.

I go upstairs, get ready for bed, and fall asleep.

“No, please stop… no!”

I struggle against the cuffs.

“You lose again, (Y/N),” the unknown person said.

“Please… just don’t hurt them,” I said, looking at my parents.

“You know, lying is a horrible thing. Your parents are never going to love you,” the unknown voice said.

“No. They love me. And I’m going to get out. And when I do, I’m going to take you in, and you’ll never leave prison,” I said angrily.

“Aww, poor (Y/N). You still love your family after everything they’ve done to you?”

I looked at him, shaking.

“They never loved you. No matter how hard you want them to. The truth is, family is always going to leave you. No matter what. They’ll betray you. They’ll abandon you. And soon… you’ll have nobody left.”

“No. I have a family. And they love me,” I said, refusing to believe him.

“Well… good luck with that.”

He sped toward my parents and vibrated his hand through their hearts.

I froze.

Then I screamed.

I wake up screaming.

I panic—my breathing uneven—until I slowly count to ten.

1… 2… 3…

I look around.

I’m in my room. I’m safe.

I glance at the clock. 4:00 a.m.

I take a deep breath, get out of bed, and walk to the bathroom. I take a shower, get changed, and go to the kitchen.

I pour a glass of milk and head to my balcony.

I sit on my couch outside and stare at the dark sky.

I stay there until sunrise.

Then I decide to go to S.T.A.R. Labs.

I grab my things, go to the garage, and take my motorcycle.

I drive to S.T.A.R. Labs.

When I arrive, I walk into the speed lab and sit in one of the chairs by the monitors. I take out my journal and start writing.

I stay there for a while… until the alarm goes off.

A bank robbery.

I immediately stand up and head to the cortex.

I see Barry’s suit is gone—he already left.

I pull up his vitals.

Then I see it.

His vitals spike… and drop.

I press the comms.

“Barry, what’s going on?” I said, worried.

“(Y/N)…” Barry said.

“Yes, Barry, it’s me. What’s going on? Your vitals spiked.”

“I’ve been hit by a bullet,” he said in pain.

“What? You got hit by a bullet? How is that even possible? I thought you could dodge a bullet.”

“I can… but I don’t think it’s a normal bullet.”

“Okay—do you need me to come with you?” I asked.

“No, I’m fine. I got them. Everyone is safe.”

“I’m on my way back,” Barry said.

“Okay,” I replied.

I kept watching his vitals, just to make sure he was stable.

Then—Barry speeds in.

He’s holding his side.

“Are you okay?” I asked immediately.

“I’m fine. It’s nothing,” Barry said.

“Obviously it’s something. You’re hurt.”

He brushes me off, but I don’t listen. I pull him toward the medical room.

I sit him down.

He speeds away and changes into regular clothes.

I grab supplies and tell him to take off his shirt. He does.

I examine the wound, then pull the bullet out of his stomach and place it on the tray.

I patch him up, using my powers to heal him faster.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” Barry said.

“You’re welcome.”

“Why are you here so early?” Barry asked.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came here,” I said.

I clean up the mess and examine the bullet again.

It doesn’t look normal.

I get lost in my thoughts again.

Only if you knew the truth about what’s really going on…

“Do you want to talk about it?” Barry asked.

I shook my head.

“You know if you talk about it, it’ll make you feel better,” Barry said.

“I’ve tried talking about it… and it didn’t end well,” I said coldly.

“Well, I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.”

I turn to him.

“Barry, what do you want me to tell you?” I asked, arms crossed.

“What’s going on in your mind.”

“Why do you care so much?” I asked.

“Because you’re my best friend,” he said.

“It hasn’t felt like that in a while, Barry,” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“Whenever I was with you and Iris—actually before you dated—you two always left me out. You never included me. You kept secrets from me. Barry, I’ve been there longer. The only thing we ever talked about was Iris. Never me. Never ‘how are you, (Y/N)?’ Never ‘let’s go have fun.’”

I step closer.

“You know what? Why don’t we tell each other how we really feel?”

Barry just stares at me.

“Never once did you ask how I felt. I’ve been through so much… and I wish I hadn’t. But I can’t make the pain stop.”

“(Y/N)…” Barry said.

I raised my hand to stop him.

“You want to know the worst part? Seeing you and Iris get married. I always gave you signs… but you never saw them. Because you were in love with her. And I’m happy for you… but it’s none of your fault. It’s mine—for falling in love with you.”

“You’re in love with me?” Barry asked.

“I have been for a long time. So many people told me to tell you… but I didn’t. Because I wanted you to say it first. But I was wrong. Because you’re in love with Iris… and you always will be.”

Barry looks at me.

“I don’t know what to say,” he admits.

“Then I’ll do it for you,” I say quietly. “Just tell me you don’t love me… and we’ll be done here.”

Barry looks at me, sad.

“(Y/N)… I’m in love with Iris. You know that. It’s always been her. I’m sorry.”

That’s when it hit me.

I didn’t think it would hurt this much.

A tear slipped down my face.

I wiped it away quickly.

“Umm… right. I know you don’t love me. I guess love does have pain. I’ll get over it, I promise,” I said.

My voice cracked at the end, but I forced a small nod like it meant something.

I turned around and faced the wall instead of looking at Barry.

Before he could say anything else, I walked out of the room.

I stepped into the cortex and immediately saw Cisco and Caitlin looking at me.

I tried so hard not to cry.

“Hey, (Y/N)… are you okay?” Caitlin asked gently.

“I’m fine. I’m going home,” I said quickly.

“You want to talk about it?” Cisco asked.

“No,” I said colder than I meant to.

They both looked at me like they already understood I wasn’t okay.

“I’m sorry… I just don’t feel good,” I added, grabbing my things.

Before I could leave, I heard footsteps enter the cortex.

I turned and saw Iris.

I tried to walk past her immediately.

“(Y/N)… are you okay? You look upset,” Iris asked softly.

“I’m fine,” I said quietly.

I didn’t stop walking.

I left the cortex.

Outside, I went straight to my motorcycle.

My hands were shaking as I turned it on.

Then I sped off.

Tears blurred my vision as I drove.

I didn’t even know where I was going—just away.

I ended up in the forest.

I stopped the bike and sat there for a moment… then everything broke.

I screamed in frustration and threw my phone as hard as I could.

It hit the water and disappeared into the lake.

My breathing got heavier.

I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in them.

I tried to calm down… but I couldn’t.

My hands started glowing faintly.

I froze.

“No… no, stop,” I whispered to myself.

The glow got stronger.

I stood up slowly and walked toward the lake.

My reflection shook in the water.

When I touched it—

The water turned purple.

I pulled my hands back in shock.

“What…?”

I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know I could do that.

I quickly grabbed my backpack and pulled out leather gloves, putting them on tightly like they could fix what was happening.

Then I got back on my motorcycle and went home as fast as I could.

I locked the door behind me and rushed inside.

The second I took my gloves off—

My hands were still glowing.

“Why is this happening…?” I whispered.

I pointed shakily at a glass on the counter.

A purple blast shot out—

It shattered instantly.

I jumped back.

That has never happened before.

My breathing turned sharp and uneven.

Then—

I heard something in my living room.

I turned quickly.

DeVoe was standing there.

My hands lifted instantly, energy building again.

“What are you doing in my house?” I said, voice shaking but angry.

“Excuse me, Ms. (Y/L/N), I didn’t mean to intrude,” DeVoe said calmly.

“Stop acting nice, DeVoe. What do you want?” I snapped, reaching for my bag—

Then I remembered.

My phone was gone.

I had thrown it into the lake.

“I actually need you, Ms. (Y/L/N),” he said.

“No. If you take one step closer, I won’t hesitate,” I warned.

“I don’t think you will,” he said calmly. “Because if you do… I will expose Mr. Allen’s identity. The Flash. To the entire city.”

I froze.

My hands lowered slightly.

He noticed.

“I see your powers are active,” he said. “That’s because you’re angry… and hurt.”

I didn’t answer.

“I want to help you, (Y/N). You’re powerful… special. Trust me—Team Flash never cared about you. They were going to leave you anyway.”

“No,” I said sharply. “They’re my friends. They care about me.”

“Then explain this,” he said.

He held up a tablet.

A video played.

Team Flash.

Talking about me.

Useless.

Not needed.

A burden.

Words I had always feared… now being spoken out loud.

My breath caught.

A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it.

“Where did you get this…?” I whispered.

“I hacked into their systems,” he said. “I only wanted you to see the truth. So you wouldn’t waste your loyalty on people who don’t deserve it.”

I shook my head slightly.

“No… they wouldn’t—”

“But I care about you,” he interrupted softly. “I can help you control your powers.”

I looked at him, torn.

“I don’t trust you,” I said.

“Trust takes time,” he said. “Come with me… and I’ll help you.”

“No,” I said again, firmer this time. “I can’t betray my team. Even if they don’t care about me.”

A slow, unsettling silence filled the room.

“That’s a shame,” DeVoe said quietly.

Then his tone changed.

“Then I suppose I’ll have to take you.”

Before I could move—

Pain exploded through my head.

I screamed.

Everything went black.

A few hours later

“What are we going to do with her, Clifford?” Marlize asked.

“I’m going to change her,” DeVoe said calmly. “Turn her against them. And then she will buy us the time we need for the Enlightenment.”

“I don’t like this,” Marlize said.

“You don’t need to,” he replied.

I groaned.

My head was pounding.

I forced my eyes open.

Bars.

A cage.

Cold metal.

I was trapped.

I sat up quickly.

My breathing hitched.

DeVoe stood in front of me.

Next to him… his wife.

“You’re awake,” he said calmly.

“Let me go,” I said immediately.

“I can’t,” he replied. “I need you.”

“What are you going to do to me?” I asked, fear creeping in now.

“Nothing bad,” he said softly.

But the way he said it—

sent ice through my entire body.

Suddenly—

Pain.

Electricity ripped through me.

I screamed.

My body collapsed to the ground.

I gasped for air.

Again.

Another shock.

I cried out louder this time, shaking, unable to move.

The cage lit up around me.

And I realized—

this was only the beginning.

“What are you doing?” I managed to say, my voice barely steady.

“Your body is absorbing the electricity,” DeVoe said calmly, almost scientifically detached. “If you take in enough, you’ll be capable of immense destruction.”

I stared at him like he wasn’t real.

Then the pain hit again.

I screamed, the sound ripping out of me before I could stop it.

^One hour later^

Time didn’t feel real anymore.

It stretched and broke and folded in on itself until I couldn’t tell how long I had been on that floor.

My body felt wrong. Heavy in a way that didn’t belong to me anymore. Every breath hurt. Every movement came too late, like my mind was sending signals through something broken.

I coughed, and blood came with it.

I tried to push myself up, but my arms collapsed immediately. My vision blurred at the edges, flickering like a dying light.

DeVoe didn’t move. He just watched me like I was an experiment reaching its final stage.

Then he stepped closer.

Something cold pressed against my head.

I flinched violently—but there was nowhere to go.

“I’ll see you when you wake up, Ms. (y/l/n),” he said softly. “Have a pleasant dream.”

My stomach dropped.

“No—wait—”

Pain exploded through my mind.

Not physical this time.

Deeper.

Every thought fractured at once.

I screamed—

—and the world went silent.

I woke up in my bedroom.

But it wasn’t right.

It was too still. Too clean. Too quiet in a way that made my skin crawl.

I sat up slowly, heart already racing, like my body remembered something my mind didn’t.

Then I heard it.

Shouting downstairs.

My chest tightened.

I moved without thinking.

Step by step down the stairs, each one heavier than the last, like something was waiting for me to understand what was wrong.

When I reached the living room, my entire body went cold.

My parents were there.

Drunk. Loud. Familiar in a way that made my stomach twist.

But something about them felt… wrong. Like a memory that had been edited.

“Hey,” my father snapped. “Get over here.”

I didn’t move.

His expression changed instantly.

“Did you hear me?” he said again, sharper now.

My body locked up.

This wasn’t real.

It couldn’t be real.

But it felt real enough to hurt.

He grabbed my arm.

Pain shot through me instantly.

I gasped—

“No—stop—”

The moment I tried to pull away, everything snapped.

I kicked back, broke free, and ran.

But the house didn’t end.

It kept going.

Hallways that shouldn’t exist stretched behind me. Doors that led nowhere slammed open as I passed them. The world felt like it was rearranging itself just to keep me inside.

And then—

I was outside.

But the city wasn’t right either.

It was empty. Hollow. Like someone had erased everyone except me.

S.T.A.R. Labs came next.

Still empty.

CCPD after that.

Still nothing.

My breathing turned shallow.

“Hello?” I called once, voice echoing too loudly.

Silence answered.

Then I saw them.

Barry.

Iris.

Relief hit me so fast it almost hurt.

“Barry—!” I stepped forward—

And froze.

They were kissing.

Not noticing me.

Not hearing me.

Like I didn’t exist at all.

My heart dropped so fast it felt like it left my body behind.

My throat tightened.

No sound came out.

I took a step back.

Then another.

Until the ground beneath me disappeared—

I was standing in a cemetery.

Cold air. Still wind. No sound except my own breathing.

I turned.

The Reverse-Flash stood there.

Waiting.

Watching.

I moved toward him, rage cutting through the fear—

But he blurred out of existence before I could reach him.

Like he wasn’t even real enough to fight.

I turned back.

Two graves.

Nora Allen. Henry Allen.

My knees gave out instantly.

I didn’t even fall properly—I just… collapsed like something had been cut out of me.

“No…” I whispered.

My hand touched the stone like it could undo it.

“I’m sorry,” I said, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save you. I tried—I tried so hard—”

My voice cracked completely.

“I’m sorry…”

The wind didn’t answer.

Nothing did.

When I stood again, the world shattered.

I was thrown forward before I could react.

Zoom.

His presence alone made my chest tighten.

“Hunter…” I said through clenched teeth.

He smiled.

And then everything broke again.

Iron Heights.

Metal. Cold. Wrong.

I backed away immediately.

“No, no, no…”

But my feet didn’t listen.

My parents were inside.

Standing calmly.

Like they belonged there.

Like they weren’t part of the nightmare.

“Mom?” I whispered.

She smiled softly.

And I hated how much it hurt.

“This isn’t real,” I said, shaking my head. “This isn’t you.”

My father stepped forward.

“We changed,” he said.

That sentence broke something in me.

Because it sounded almost believable.

Almost safe.

And that terrified me more than anything else.

“No,” I whispered again. “You don’t get to say that.”

I backed away until I hit the wall.

Then I ran again.

Because that was the only thing I knew how to do anymore.

And then—

DeVoe.

Standing in the center of everything like he had been there the whole time.

Like he owned it.

“What did you do to me?” I demanded.

He tilted his head slightly.

“Oh, sweet (y/n),” he said gently. “You’re not broken.”

A pause.

“You’re being refined.”

My hands shook.

“You’re insane.”

“No,” he corrected softly. “I simply showed you the truth your mind was already afraid to admit.”

Behind him—

they appeared.

Zoom.

Reverse-Flash.

Savitar.

All watching.

All waiting.

My breath hitched.

“No…” I whispered.

DeVoe stepped back.

“Let’s see what you become when everything you trust turns against you.”

He vanished.

They moved at once.

Not fast.

Instant.

Pain exploded through me before I could even think to defend myself.

I tried to form a shield—tried to focus—but fear kept slipping through my control.

Everything blurred.

Everything broke.

And still they kept coming.

Until something inside me snapped—

And a force field erupted outward, throwing them back.

Silence.

For half a second.

Then they started getting up again.

Smiling.

Like this was just the beginning.

I ran.

S.T.A.R. Labs.

Time Vault.

I collapsed against the wall like I’d been running forever.

My hands shook violently as I reached for Gideon.

She appeared instantly.

“Good afternoon, (y/n) (y/l/n).”

“Gideon…” My voice cracked. “Where am I?”

“You are inside a simulated construct created by your neural interface.”

My stomach dropped.

“So this isn’t real.”

“It is real to your mind.”

My breathing turned shallow.

“How do I get out?”

“You cannot exit without external deactivation of the device.”

A pause.

I swallowed hard.

“Can Team Flash hear me?”

“If a message is sent, it will remain within the simulation.”

I laughed once—quiet, broken.

“Of course it will.”

Gideon faded.

And I was alone again.

Barry’s POV

“Where is she?” I asked again.

My voice was sharper than I meant it to be.

Cisco shook his head. “Nothing. No trace.”

Caitlin looked exhausted. “It’s like she disappeared.”

“She didn’t,” I said immediately. “She’s somewhere. She has to be.”

Iris stepped forward. “Barry—”

“No.” My hands clenched. “Something is wrong. I can feel it. She wouldn’t just vanish.”

Silence.

Then the alert hit.

DeVoe.

My body moved before my mind did.

I sped out.

But when I arrived—

Nothing.

Just emptiness.

And a sinking feeling in my chest that told me I was already too late.

“Good evening, Mr. Allen. I see you received my message,” DeVoe said calmly.

“What do you want, DeVoe?” I asked sharply.

He tilted his head slightly, almost amused.

“Well,” he said, voice smooth and unsettling, “I want to destroy this world. I simply don’t intend to do it just yet.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You didn’t drag me out here just to monologue.”

A faint smile formed on his face.

“No,” DeVoe replied. “I brought you here to show you something.”

My stomach tightened.

“You see, Mr. Allen…” he continued slowly, deliberately, “I have something you don’t.”

That made my chest go cold.

“What are you talking about?” I demanded.

DeVoe said nothing at first.

Instead, he simply raised his hand and pointed behind him.

I followed his gesture.

And my entire world stopped.

There she was.

(y/n).

But something was wrong.

Completely wrong.

Her posture was tense, like she didn’t fully belong in her own body. Her eyes—her eyes weren’t hers anymore. They were distant. Clouded. Controlled.

Like she was there, but not really her.

My breath caught in my throat.

“No…” I whispered under my breath.

DeVoe’s voice cut through the silence.

“She’s quite remarkable, isn’t she? So much power. So much potential… and so vulnerable when broken correctly.”

My fists clenched instantly.

“What did you do to her?” I snapped.

He didn’t answer right away.

Instead, he looked at her like she was an equation he had already solved.

“I didn’t break her,” DeVoe said calmly. “I simply showed her what she already feared was true.”

My stomach twisted.

“Let her go,” I said, voice low now—dangerous.

DeVoe finally looked back at me.

“Oh, Mr. Allen…” he said softly. “I’m afraid she’s already where I need her to be.”

A pause.

Then he added, almost gently—

“And I don’t think she agrees with you anymore.”

•Reader’s POV•

I stepped out of the darkness the moment DeVoe finished speaking.

The second I saw him—Flash… Barry Allen—I smirked.

“(Y/n)… what are you doing?” Barry asked, his voice tight with worry.

I tilted my head slightly, studying him like he was a stranger.

“You see, Flash,” I said slowly, my voice distorted, almost vibrating with power, “I’m not (y/n). I’m Invictus.”

The air around me crackled faintly with purple light as my eyes glowed the same color.

“So much for family,” I added bitterly. “You all really thought you could treat me like I belonged with you… but you lied. None of you ever cared about me.”

Barry stepped forward instantly.

“(Y/n), what are you talking about?”

Behind us, DeVoe watched for a moment longer—silent, satisfied.

Then he opened a breach.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” he said calmly, before stepping through and disappearing.

The portal closed.

Silence hit like a weight.

Barry’s eyes stayed locked on me.

“What did he do to you?” he asked, softer now. Careful.

My jaw tightened.

“He didn’t do anything,” I said sharply. “He helped me see the truth.”

Barry shook his head immediately.

“No. Team Flash cares about you. I care about you.”

That made something inside me snap.

“NO!” I shouted, my voice echoing through the space. “You don’t care about me. No one does.”

My powers flickered brighter.

“You all used me,” I continued, trembling with rage. “You treated me like I was fragile. Like I was replaceable. Like I didn’t matter unless I was useful.”

Barry’s expression shifted—pain flashing across his face.

“That’s not true,” he said quickly. “You’re family. You always have been.”

I let out a sharp, broken laugh.

“Family?” I repeated, voice shaking. “My real family is the reason I learned what betrayal feels like. They’re the ones who hurt me. They’re the reason I will never let myself be weak again.”

My hands clenched tighter.

“And I’m not going through that again. Not with you.”

Barry stepped closer despite everything.

“(Y/n), you’re a hero,” he said firmly. “You’re kind. You’re smart. You save people. This isn’t you.”

I stared at him for a long moment.

Something flickered—something small.

But I buried it immediately.

“I’m not a hero,” I said coldly.

My voice dropped.

“And I can prove it.”

Before he could react, I raised my hand.

Lightning exploded outward.

Barry tried to move—

But he wasn’t fast enough.

The blast hit him, sending him crashing hard into the glass behind him. The impact echoed through the space.

For a second, I just stood there.

Then I walked over.

Kneeled beside him.

Barry groaned, trying to sit up.

I grabbed his face firmly, forcing him to look at me.

“If you ever try to lie to me like that again,” I said quietly, dangerously calm, “there will be consequences.”

I let go and stood.

“(Y/n)… this isn’t you,” he said weakly.

I paused.

Then turned my head slightly.

“I’m not (y/n),” I said.

A beat.

“I’m Invictus.”

My eyes glowed brighter.

“And (y/n) is gone.”

I leaned in just slightly.

“If your team comes looking for me… tell them not to.”

My voice sharpened.

“Because next time, I won’t hesitate.”

And then I disappeared in a blur of purple lightning—leaving only silence behind.

[hppylaw]

Strange feeling pt.2 (Barry Allen x reader)

Warning: I do not own anything from the flash, I repeat I do not own anything from the flash, I only own my character and the story line

Summary: Your in love with Barry Allen but he’s with Iris west, you want to tell him the truth about your feeling, but you get a strange feeling that maybe you shouldn’t because you’ll ruin everything between the two of you, that’s until you met a stranger and you develop feeling pretty quickly, but now your emotions are confused on who you really love!

•~•Series Masterlist•~•

I was back at S.T.A.R. Labs. I had given Cisco and Caitlin their coffee, and I was sitting in front of the monitors checking to see if there was any trouble.

I'm still upset with Barry.

I mean, Chris doesn't look like a bad guy, but then again, I don't know that because I just met him.

But what if Barry is wrong and I can finally get over Barry? What if Chris is the person I fall in love with and not Barry?

Jesus, why did I get myself into this situation?

I can't like two guys, but Barry has Iris. I need to move on from Barry. He doesn't like me.

"Where is Barry?" Caitlin says.

"I don't know. He was with (Y/N)," Cisco says.

They both look at me, and I was trying my best to ignore them. I kept looking at the screen, trying to find something to do.

"(Y/N), where's Barry?" Cisco says.

"I don't know. Have you tried calling him? Not all the time am I going to be with him. That's why he has a phone, for people to contact him," I say in a very irritated way.

"What's wrong, (Y/N)—" Caitlin says.

"Nothing's wrong. I just don't get why you guys think I would know," I say.

"Well, the fact that you're both best friends since birth, I would think you know where he is. Besides, you both were together a few minutes ago," Cisco says.

"I don't know where Barry is. Me and him had an argument," I say.

"About what exactly?" Caitlin says.

"Well, I met a cute guy at CC Jitters today," I say.

"A guy?" Cisco says.

"Yes, a really cute guy, and he was nice to me. But the problem is that Barry said he doesn't trust this guy, and he doesn't want me hanging out with him. So I flipped and told him he can't tell me who I can and can't hang out with. Then I left," I say.

Caitlin and Cisco look at each other.

"What? Why are you guys looking at each other like that?" I say.

"Nothing," Cisco says.

"So who is this guy?" Caitlin asks curiously.

"His name is Chris Peters," I say with a smile on my face, reminding me of him.

I see Cisco go to the screen and type something into it.

"Well, I found him," Cisco says.

"What?" I say.

"He is 27 years old. His full name is Christopher Andrew Peters. He doesn't have any criminal records. He works as a photographer for the police department of Coast City, but it says he transferred from the Coast City Police Department to CCPD," Cisco says.

"Well, from the looks of his profile, he is a pretty decent guy," Caitlin says, looking at me.

"Isn't it kind of weird that we're stalking a guy that I met at a coffee shop?" I say.

"Well, you said that Barry doesn't trust this guy, and from the looks of it, he isn't evil or anything. He actually has a degree in engineering and police science. His family is all alive, and he doesn't have any bad records," Cisco says.

I smile. I knew he wasn't evil or a meta-human.

"He's actually kind of cute," Caitlin says.

I look at her.

"Well, (Y/N), looks like you can trust your Prince Charming," Cisco says.

I roll my eyes and look back at the screen.

"Who's Prince Charming?" someone says from behind us.

I look up and see Iris smiling at us and holding hands with Barry.

"(Y/N), Prince Charming looks like she found someone," Cisco says.

I glare at him and smack him on the arm.

"Owww," Cisco says.

"He's not my Prince Charming. He's just a guy I met at CC Jitters," I say.

"Who is he?" Iris asks.

I could see Barry getting annoyed about Chris.

"He's just a new guy around Central City. His name is Chris," I say.

Iris nods.

"So you guys were stalking him?" Iris says.

"No... n-no! Of course not. It was Cisco. He wanted to look into the guy I was talking about," I say, getting a little nervous.

"Uh-huh," Iris says.

"Well, we needed to make sure that this prince was a good match for (Y/N)," Cisco says.

"Good match?" Barry says, annoyed.

"Well, from what we're hearing, (Y/N) seems interested in this guy," Caitlin says.

"Okay, that's enough. Can we stop talking about Chris? It's kind of getting weird," I say, taking Chris's profile off the screen.

"(Y/N), I think you should go for it. Go and get to know this guy. Maybe he's your soulmate or your future boyfriend," Iris says, nudging my shoulder.

I start to turn red. I clear my throat and tuck my hair behind my ear.

"I don't know. I just met this guy. Who knows what might happen?" I say.

"Well, you're never going to find out if you don't see this guy again, (Y/N)," Caitlin says.

"Okay, how do we know that this guy isn't a meta-human or might even try to lie to us?" Barry says.

"I mean, it is possible, but I looked at his profile. No criminal records or anything. He wasn't here for the particle accelerator, and it looks like he lived in Coast City since he was born," Cisco says.

"Okay, seriously, you guys. We need to stop talking about Chris," I say.

They all stop and look at me.

"And now she's defending him," Cisco says.

"No, I'm not defending anybody," I say.

"Can we please just focus on something else?" I ask.

“I don’t know, I just met this guy, who know what might happen” I said

“Well your never going to find out if you dont see this guy again (y/n)” Caitlin says

“Okay how do we know that this guy isnt a meta human, or might even try to lie to us” Barry said

“I mean it is possible, but I looked at his profile no criminal records or anything, he wasn’t here for the partical accelerator and it looks like he lived in coast city since he was born” Cisco says

“Okay seriously you guys we need to stop talking about Chris” I said, they all stopped and looked at me

“And now she defending him” Cisco says

“No I’m not defending anybody” I said

“Can we please just focus on another thing?” I ask.

“Okay well (Y/N), we’re having a family dinner tomorrow,” Iris says.

“I know. Barry already told me,” I said, looking at her, while Caitlin and Cisco went to the other side of the room to talk about how to stop Savitar.

“Really, honey?” Iris says.

“Sorry,” Barry says with an apologetic smile.

“You’ll be there, right?” Iris says.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be there,” I said.

“Okay, great. I’ll cook some of the most amazing food, and you don’t have to bring anything,” Iris says. I nod.

“Okay, I have to go buy the things for tomorrow, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay (Y/N)?” Iris says.

“See you there, Iris,” I said.

“I’ll see you at home, Barr,” Iris says as she goes to peck his lips goodbye.

It hurt me seeing how happy they were. It made me jealous.

I knew that me and Barry weren’t going to be anything more than friends.

Iris waved at all of us goodbye. Caitlin and Cisco waved.

I sit down on one of the chairs. So did Barry.

“Hey (Y/N), I just want to apologize for what I said at Jitters,” Barry says, getting my attention.

“It’s okay, Barr. I know you were just trying to protect me,” I said.

“I just want you to be careful, okay? I can’t lose you either. You’re very important to me, and you understand me more than anyone can,” Barry said.

“Barry, I’ll be fine. I can protect myself,” I said with a smile.

Barry smiled back, and we forgave each other. We began talking to each other again.

“There, both in love with each other, but neither one of them can tell,” Cisco says.

“Well, they're both afraid. Barry has Iris now, and (Y/N) seems interested in Chris,” Caitlin says.

“They both might have a partner, but they're both going to realize that their partners are not the ones they're in love with,” Cisco says.

“Who knows,” Caitlin said.

“They both grew up together. Every time I’m talking to Barry, I see him staring at (Y/N). And when I’m with (Y/N), I talk to her about Iris and Barry, and she gets jealous and tries to change the subject,” Cisco says.

“Well, they’re both going to have to confess their feelings someday,” Caitlin says.

“They will, but they don’t know how,” Cisco says, looking at Caitlin. Caitlin just nods her head.

The next day

I woke up to the sun shining through my curtains.

After going out saving people yesterday, my arms are really sore. It’s something I’ve dealt with before.

Anyways, I got up and sped through my daily routine. I made sure I ate breakfast, and I got my bag ready to head out.

My phone beeped.

I walked outside my apartment, locked it, and checked my phone while heading out.

It was a text from Joe saying he wanted me to come to CCPD to help with a case.

I texted back saying I’m on my way.

I made sure no one was in the hall and sped toward CCPD.

The elevator doors dinged, and I got out, walking into the main floor where it is always busy.

I asked the lady at the desk if she had seen Detective West, and she said he hadn’t come in yet.

I thanked her and waited in the lobby.

That’s when I heard someone call my name.

I turned around and saw Chris with a smile on his face.

“(Y/N), oh hey...” Chris says.

“Hey Chris, I didn’t know you’d be here,” I said.

“Well, I work here now as a photographer and a sketch artist,” he said.

“Oh! I didn’t know that,” I said.

“Well maybe you will if you like to join me for lunch,” Chris says with a smile.

“Are you asking me out?” I said.

“Yes, well no… not that way. I mean not like a date unless you want it to be,” he says, rambling. I could see he is getting nervous.

“Chris, relax. I’d love to get lunch with you,” I said with a warm smile.

“Great… I mean good… you know what, I’m going to stop talking,” Chris said, letting out a nervous laugh.

“It’s okay, I like your rambling,” I said.

He was going to say something until someone cut him off.

“(Y/N), sweetheart,” Joe says, kissing my forehead.

“Hey Joe, how are you?” I said, kissing his cheek.

“I’m good. Thank you for coming,” Joe says.

“It’s not a problem,” I said.

Joe turned and looked at Chris.

“And who are you?” Joe asked curiously.

“Oh, I’m Chris Peters, sir. I’m new to CCPD. I’m a transfer from Coast City,” Chris says.

“Nice to meet you, Chris. Detective Joe West. You don’t have to call me sir, you can call me Joe,” Joe said.

“Yes sir… I mean Joe,” Chris says.

I smiled at him.

“(Y/N), how do you know Chris?” Joe asked.

“Well, I accidentally spilled coffee on him and apologized. We talked and got each other’s phone numbers to maybe hang out in the future,” I said.

Joe nodded.

“Iris and Barry were on their way up,” Joe said.

“Okay,” I said.

“Well, when you’re all done talking to Chris, you know where to find me,” Joe said.

“It was nice meeting you, Detective West,” Chris says.

“Same goes for you, Chris,” Joe says, walking away.

I turned back to Chris.

“Is he your father?” Chris says.

“No, Joe isn’t my biological father. He is a father figure to me. He helped me through so much when I was small, so I treated him like he was my dad,” I said.

“Oh, that makes sense,” Chris says with a smile.

“Yeah, I’m really close with them. They’re my family, and I care about them a lot,” I said.

Chris looked at me and smiled.

He was going to say something until he was interrupted again.

“(Y/N)!” Iris called my name.

I turned and saw her and Barry coming toward me and Chris.

I saw Barry glaring at Chris.

“Iris, Barry, I didn’t know both of you were coming,” I said.

“Well, I talked to my dad and he said you were going to be here, so I wanted to talk to you about dinner,” Iris says, then looks at Chris and smiles.

“Who is this?” Iris asked.

“Um… this is Chris. Chris, these are my best friends Iris West and Barry Allen. Guys, this is Chris Peters,” I said.

Chris extended his hand and shook both of theirs.

“It’s nice to meet both of you,” Chris says.

“Our pleasure is ours. We heard a lot about you. (Y/N) won’t stop talking about you,” Iris says.

My eyes widened, and Chris looks at me and smiles.

“Well, I can’t stop thinking about (Y/N). Since yesterday she had really pretty eyes,” Chris says.

I turn red and bite my lip.

“So what are you doing here in CCPD?” Barry asks, trying to sound polite.

“I actually work here as a photographer and sketch artist,” Chris says.

“Are you a transfer?” Iris asks.

“Yes, I’m a transfer from Coast City,” Chris says.

“Coast City? Wow, so you’ve never been to Central before,” Iris says.

“No, never. I grew up in Coast City. I worked as a photographer and sketch artist for their police department,” Chris says.

“Do you guys work here?” Chris asks.

“Actually no, my dad works here as a detective and my boyfriend here works as a forensic scientist,” Iris says, pointing at Barry and grabbing his hand.

I felt a little upset and uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I work here,” Barry says with a stern face.

“That’s cool. Forensics is a really hard subject, I hear,” Chris says.

“It wasn’t that hard since I found it easy. So did (Y/N). She has many degrees for science,” Barry states, looking at me and smiling.

“I didn’t know you had a degree in that,” Chris says.

“Well, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me yet, Chris. Maybe when we get lunch we could get to know each other,” I say with a smile.

“You guys are getting lunch?” Iris says.

“Yeah, after Chris’s shift we’re going to get lunch,” I say.

I see Barry tense up.

“Chris, maybe you should join our dinner we’re having tonight,” Iris suggests.

I send her a glare.

No. No. No. This can’t be happening.

“Iris, what are you doing?” Barry whispers, but Iris ignores him.

“I’d love to, if I’m not intruding and if that’s okay with you (Y/N),” Chris says looking at me.

“Umm… no, of course not. You’re not intruding. Iris is the host of the dinner so it’s fine with me,” I say.

“Okay then, I’d love to come,” Chris says. Barry is glaring at him.

“Yay! (Y/N) can send you the details and the address,” Iris says.

“I’ll give you everything,” I say.

“Well then, in that case, me and Barry are going to his lab and we’ll leave you two alone,” Iris says with a smile.

“Bye (Y/N) and Chris, we will see you tonight,” Iris says, grabbing Barry’s hand.

“I’ll see you, (Y/N). You too, Chris,” Barry says with a fake smile.

They leave.

I watch them go, my heart aching really bad.

I look over at Chris and see him smiling.

“I guess I’m meeting your family,” Chris says.

“I guess you are,” I said.

“I am really sorry about them. Iris can be intrusive at times,” I say.

“It’s okay. I think she’s just curious, and for Barry, I don’t think he likes me,” Chris says.

“No, no. Barry just has to get used to you. He has a hard time letting people in. I would know,” I say.

“So did both of you have history?” Chris asks curiously.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“I mean, did you guys date before? Because he looks a bit jealous, not going to lie,” Chris says.

“No… n-no. Me and Barry never dated. We basically grew up together since birth,” I state.

“Oh, I just thought you both dated,” Chris says.

“No, never dated him. You don’t have to worry about that. Barry is really overprotective of me and his family,” I say.

“Oh okay,” Chris says.

“Yes, so about lunch?” I ask.

“Right, lunch. How about we go to Big Belly Burger?” Chris asks.

“I like that idea,” I say.

“So we’re on after my shift?” Chris asks.

“We’re on,” I say with a small laugh.

“I’ll see you later then,” he says.

“I’ll see you later,” I say.

I walked away to Joe’s desk.

I could see Chris do a little victory dance as he walks upstairs. I let out a small laugh.

Me and Joe talked about a case for a few hours until Joe brought up a different subject.

“You know, Iris told me that Chris is joining us for dinner,” Joe said.

“Yeah, he’s a really nice guy, Joe. You’ll like him,” I said.

“Hopefully I will. You know I promised your dad I’ll protect you,” Joe said.

I looked up at him and smiled sadly.

“And from all the years of taking care of you as my own, I know that you just want to get over Barry,” Joe said.

I was shocked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, trying to play it off.

“(Y/N), I know you’re in love with Barry,” Joe said.

I couldn’t say anything.

“You want to know something? Barry isn’t fully in love with Iris. He’s in love with you, and so are you,” Joe said.

“No, Barry doesn’t love me. He’s always been in love with Iris since we were small,” I said.

Joe shook his head.

“He’s in love with you. It’s the little things, (Y/N). Like he smiles when you’re not looking. When you’re around, it’s like you’re the only one he sees,” Joe said.

I looked at him and then back at the papers.

“The only problem is that you need to decide between Chris and Barry,” Joe said.

I bit my lip.

“And if you choose Chris, you’re not going to be as happy because your heart belongs with Barry,” Joe added.

“I don’t know, Joe. Barry is happy with Iris, and I don’t know if I want to ruin our friendship,” I said.

“You’re confused about your feelings. You think you need to move on because Barry is with Iris, but your heart still belongs to him,” Joe said.

“I know, Joe, but I can’t do anything about it,” I said.

“You know your father said that in the future you’re going to become an incredible woman, and he was right,” Joe said.

“You’re just like your mother—always caring about everybody and making sure everyone is treated fairly no matter what,” Joe said.

“My dad said that?” I asked.

“Yes. I remember it very specifically,” Joe said.

“And I was grateful to have you and Barry in my life, to be able to become a father again,” Joe said.

I got up from my seat and hugged him.

“Thank you, Joe, for always being there for me no matter what happens,” I said.

“You’re just like a daughter to me. Of course I’ll do anything to keep you, Barry, Iris, and Wally safe,” Joe said.

“Yes, you want us to be safe, but there are times where we protect you,” I said with a smirk.

He laughed.

“I’m just glad that you and Barry are being careful out in the field,” Joe said.

“Always,” I said.

I looked at the time. Chris’s shift is almost over, so we can go get lunch together.

“You going somewhere?” Joe asked.

“I’m just going out to lunch with Chris. He wants to get to know me,” I said.

“And that’s right now?” Joe asked.

I nodded.

“I guess I’m going to be dad cop today,” Joe said.

“No, I don’t think we’re going to need that, Joe,” I said nervously.

“He’s lucky he works here, because then I just might have to pull out my gun,” Joe added.

“Joe,” I said.

“Relax, I’m not going to shoot him… unless he breaks your heart,” Joe said.

I glared at him.

I heard footsteps behind me.

“Breaks whose heart?” Barry asked.

I turned around and looked at Barry.

“No one. Joe was just making a joke,” I said.

“But was I?” Joe said.

I glared at him.

“(Y/N)!” Chris called out, walking toward us.

“Chris,” I said, feeling uncomfortable.

“Are you ready to go?” Chris asked.

“Yes, I’m ready,” I said.

“Go where?” Barry asked.

“Um… me and Chris are heading out to get lunch together, remember?” I added.

“Oh, so you guys are going on a date?” Barry asked.

“No, n-no, it’s not a date. It’s just us hanging out and getting to know each other,” I said.

“Uh-huh,” Joe said.

I looked at Joe.

“We should get going. Chris, you ready?” I asked.

“Yes, let’s go,” Chris said.

“I’ll see you guys at dinner, okay?” I said.

“Alright. Chris, take care of her. I don’t want to hear anything bad about you,” Joe says with a serious face.

“I promise, Joe. I’ll take care of her,” Chris says.

Barry is just glaring at Chris.

“Okay, let’s go. We don’t want to be late,” I said, grabbing my things and grabbing Chris’s hand.

“I’ll see you later, Barry and Joe,” I said as me and Chris headed out to the elevator.

I could feel Barry staring at me and Chris holding hands.

Well it looks like (y/n) might be in a sticky situation, is she going to fall in love with Chris, is Chris going to find out that (y/n) is in love with Barry, is Barry going to break up with Iris, who knows??

[hppylaw]

You don’t love me, You left me when I needed you the most (Barry Allen x reader) pt.3

Warning: inappropriate language, mention of abuse, depression

Warning: I do not own any of the flash content or the characters it’s just for the story, I only own my character and the story I’m writing

Summary: you the reader are in love with Barry Allen but he is married to Iris West and you get to your breaking point

•~•Series Masterlist•~•-

•Reader’s POV•

I scrolled through the hard drive, my eyes locking onto exactly what I needed.

There it was.

I let out a slow breath, a satisfied smile forming before I could stop it.

Now I just needed the physical pieces.

First stop: CCPD.

They had what I needed.

“Well,” DeVoe’s voice came from behind me, calm and observant, “it looks like you’ve made quite a name for yourself, Ms. (y/l/n).”

I didn’t even look at him at first.

“No,” I said simply, still focused on the data. “I didn’t make a name for myself. I just took what I needed from Mercury Labs and covered my tracks. No evidence. No trace.”

I finally turned slightly, eyes sharp.

“And I made sure Team Flash understands something very clearly… I’m not on their side anymore.”

There was a pause.

Then I added, quieter but sharper:

“They’re afraid of me now.”

DeVoe studied me for a moment, like I was an equation he was still solving.

“Good,” he said finally. “Because you may need to defeat them.”

I crossed my arms.

“If it comes to that… I will.”

A beat.

“I already sent them a message,” I added. “A clear one.”

DeVoe tilted his head. “And?”

“And they’re scared,” I repeated, almost proud of it. Then my smirk faded just slightly. “They won’t interfere.”

“Make sure they don’t stop my plan,” he said.

“They won’t,” I replied. “Not if they don’t even have the tools left to track me.”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “Explain.”

I shrugged casually.

“I may have destroyed parts of their Cortex systems… wiped their tracking capabilities… and disabled their communication backups.”

A slow silence followed.

Then DeVoe nodded once.

“You did well.”

That approval settled something uneasy in my chest.

I didn’t question it.

I just accepted it.

“Now,” he said, “go to CCPD. Retrieve the remaining components.”

I nodded.

He turned to leave, the air shifting as he disappeared.

For a moment, I just stood there.

Then I grabbed my gear.

CCPD first.

But not immediately.

There was somewhere else I needed to go first.

Somewhere quieter.

Somewhere darker.

I arrived on the edge of a warehouse district just after nightfall.

The air was heavy, still, wrong.

Perfect.

Before I could take another step—

A hand grabbed me and yanked me into the shadows.

“What do you need, little girl?” a man snapped, pressing a gun close to my ribs.

My expression didn’t change.

But something inside me did.

Slowly.

Dangerously.

“I wouldn’t call me that,” I said coldly. My voice began to vibrate slightly, electricity humming under my skin.

I twisted free with a sharp motion and stepped back.

The air around my fingers sparked.

“I really wouldn’t.”

Another man stepped forward immediately, gun raised.

“Tell us what you want.”

I exhaled slowly.

“I’m here to buy something,” I said evenly. “From your boss. And I suggest you both stop pointing guns at me… unless you’re trying to die tonight.”

They hesitated.

Good.

“How do we know you’re not a cop?” one of them demanded.

A tired sigh left me.

I reached into my bag.

And pulled out my own weapon.

Not metal.

Not normal.

A crackling construct of violet electricity formed in my hand—unstable, sharp, alive.

I aimed it directly at him.

“You don’t,” I said simply.

The warehouse lights flickered.

The air went still.

And for the first time…

They started to realize I wasn’t the one trapped in here with them.

“Do I look like a cop?” I asked coldly. My grip tightened slightly around my weapon. “Or does this look like something a cop would carry?”

I tilted my head, eyes locked on them.

“Now I want you to take me to your boss.”

The man hesitated for a second… then slowly nodded.

Smart choice.

I lowered my weapon but didn’t relax. Not even a little.

He led me inside.

The moment I stepped through the door, the atmosphere changed—dim lighting, crowded space, people trading illegal tech, weapons, and supplies. The kind of place that thrived in silence and fear.

I followed him through the crowd without slowing down.

Too many eyes. Too many weapons.

None of them mattered.

He brought me to the back where a man was standing.

He turned as I approached, scanning me up and down like I was something to be priced.

“What can I do for you, pretty lady?” he said, amused.

My expression didn’t change.

“Goldface,” I said flatly. “I need smoke bombs—long-lasting. I also need standard explosives. And guns. Special ones. Unique.”

His eyebrows lifted slightly.

“Special guns?” he repeated.

“Yes,” I said firmly. “Now.”

He studied me for a moment longer.

“For what, exactly?” he asked.

A slow, sharp breath left my nose.

“You’re asking too many questions,” I said, taking a step back. “And if you’re going to waste my time, I’ll find someone who won’t.”

I turned slightly, already pretending to leave.

“Wait,” he called out quickly. “I can get them.”

I stopped.

Silence stretched for a beat.

Then I looked back over my shoulder.

“Good,” I said simply.

Goldface snapped his fingers.

Immediately, his guards moved, disappearing into the back to retrieve what I asked for.

I crossed my arms, waiting.

Calm on the outside.

But underneath it all, something was shifting.

Something I wasn’t fully controlling anymore.

And I didn’t know if that scared me…

or if I was starting not to care.

“What’s the cost?” I asked flatly.

“Cost?” Goldface repeated, like he found it amusing.

“Don’t act stupid with me,” I said sharply. “What’s the cost for the weapons, Goldface?”

He studied me for a moment, his expression shifting slightly.

“I’m guessing you’re planning to break into something,” he said.

I didn’t deny it. I just nodded once.

His smile widened a little. “Then I need to know where.”

“I’m going to break into CCPD,” I said without hesitation.

That made him pause.

Then he nodded slowly, like that was exactly the answer he wanted.

“Then I need a favor in return,” he said.

I crossed my arms. “Of course you do.”

“I want you to erase every file CCPD has on me,” he continued. “Everything about my business. My operations. My name.”

I considered it for a moment.

Not because it was difficult.

Because it was useful.

“And when you’re done with your little job,” he added, “I want the files.”

I exhaled through my nose.

“Fine,” I said. “You have a deal.”

He held out his hand.

I shook it once—firm, quick, no hesitation.

A business arrangement. Nothing more.

His guards returned moments later carrying the weapons.

I immediately moved to the crates, opening them and inspecting the contents. Smoke bombs. Explosives. Specialized gear.

I began packing them into my bag without wasting time.

“They’re powerful,” Goldface said as I worked.

“I would hope so,” I muttered.

Then I paused at one of the boxes.

Inside were sleek, custom weapons—gold and white plating, accented with faint purple detailing.

My eyes narrowed slightly as I picked one up.

Lightweight. Precision built. Dangerous.

Interesting.

“This gun can either fire a normal bullet,” Goldface explained, “or switch into a concentrated gold energy blast.”

I nodded once, carefully inspecting it.

“Understood.”

“Well,” I said, closing the box and securing it, “that’s everything I came for.”

I adjusted the bag on my shoulder.

“I’ll send you the file through your men,” I added.

Goldface raised an eyebrow. “It’s a pleasure doing business with—”

He paused deliberately, waiting.

I met his eyes.

“Invictus,” I said flatly.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “Pleasure doing business with you, Invictus.”

I didn’t respond.

His guards escorted me out through the back exit.

The second I was outside, I kept walking until I was far enough away that the city noise swallowed the black market behind me.

Only then did I move.

I slipped into an empty alley and scanned it once—no cameras, no movement, no witnesses.

Good.

I blurred forward in a burst of purple lightning, vanishing from sight.

My secret lair was silent when I arrived.

The weapons hit the table one by one.

Metal clinked. Energy cores hummed faintly.

I exhaled and spread out the blueprints of CCPD.

Rooms. Entry points. Security blind spots.

Everything lined up perfectly.

I traced a finger across the map.

File room.

Weapons storage.

Backup servers.

I already knew exactly where I needed to go.

I secured the gun on my back, strapped explosives to my waist, and checked everything twice.

No mistakes.

No hesitation.

I teleported just outside CCPD in a flash of purple energy.

Now I waited.

A police officer eventually exited the building and walked down the alley.

Perfect timing.

I slipped in behind him before the doors fully closed.

Once inside, I immediately looked up.

No visible cameras.

But I didn’t trust it.

I pulled out my tablet and hacked in seconds—one sweep, and every camera feed in the building looped empty hallways.

Disconnected.

Safe.

I put the tablet away.

Then I moved.

Fast.

Silent.

Smoke bomb first.

The hallway filled instantly—thick gray fog swallowing visibility.

Voices erupted in confusion.

“Check the corridors!” someone shouted.

I was already gone.

I blurred through the halls, sticking to blind spots, moving like a shadow between flickering emergency lights.

File room.

I hit the door with a controlled burst of electricity.

The lock exploded inward.

I slipped inside and shut it behind me.

Quiet.

For a moment, I just listened.

Nothing.

Clear.

I moved through the files at high speed, scanning names, folders, encrypted reports.

Goldface.

Mercury Labs.

Meta activity logs.

Five minutes.

That’s all it took.

I found what I needed and shoved it into my bag.

Then I saw something else.

Mercury Labs robbery report.

My own name wasn’t on it—but the evidence pointed close enough.

I took it anyway.

A mistake left behind by someone else.

And I wasn’t leaving loose ends.

A sound.

Footsteps.

Door opening.

I moved instantly, slipping behind a cabinet.

A police officer stepped in, weapon raised.

“Clear!” he called.

I didn’t give him time.

I kicked the gun out of his hand.

Metal clattered across the floor.

He turned fast—too slow.

I struck once.

Clean hit.

He dropped unconscious before he hit the ground.

I exhaled.

“So much for being a police officer,” I muttered.

I stepped back into the hall.

Still quiet.

Still mine.

Another smoke bomb went off as I moved deeper into the building—the previous one fading.

Weapons room next.

I broke in the same way—electric surge, door blown open inward.

Inside: confiscated tech, experimental weapons, seized gear.

I moved through it all quickly.

Grenades. Explosives. Tactical gear.

Mine now.

Then I found it.

A Cisco Ramon prototype case.

I opened it.

Golden glider tech.

My eyes lingered for half a second.

Interesting.

I took it.

Everything went into the bag.

No hesitation anymore.

Just collection.

Just purpose.

Then—

Footsteps again.

Closer.

Too many.

I activated another smoke bomb and blurred toward the exit before they could fully surround me.

Emergency stairwell.

Roof access.

I burst upward in a flash of purple light.

Wind hit me instantly.

I crouched near the edge and looked down through the glass.

Police flooded the building.

Searching.

Confused.

Empty-handed.

I smirked slightly.

They weren’t going to find anything.

Not anymore.

I pulled out my tablet again and reactivated the camera loop—resetting everything to look untouched.

A perfect crime scene.

No trace.

No proof.

Just noise.

I vanished again in a blur of lightning.

I returned to my base and dumped everything onto the table.

Blueprints. Weapons. Files.

Goldface’s data was the first thing I opened.

I copied it.

Not just for him.

For me.

Then I stood there for a moment.

Still.

Quiet.

And I realized something I didn’t want to think about.

I was getting faster at this.

Better at it.

More comfortable.

That thought should’ve scared me.

But it didn’t.

Not enough.

•Barry POV•

I got a call from Joe saying someone had broken into CCPD.

I didn’t even think—I just ran.

The world blurred into streaks of red and gold as I pushed myself faster, that familiar hum of the Speed Force barely grounding me anymore. Something about this didn’t feel like a normal break-in. Something about it felt wrong.

When I got to the precinct, I slowed just enough to step out of the elevator.

The air hit me first.

Burned metal. Melted wiring. Smoke still lingering in thin, choking trails through the hallway.

My eyes scanned immediately—no casualties. At least not obvious ones. But the damage wasn’t random. It was precise. Controlled. Angry.

I spotted Joe near the front desk speaking to one of the officers. I walked over quickly, already tense.

“I got knocked out by a woman,” the officer said, still shaken. “She was wearing black… hood up. I couldn’t see her face. She moved too fast. She went straight for the file room and weapon storage like she knew exactly where everything was.”

Joe nodded once, steady but clearly unsettled.

“Alright, thank you, Officer Johnson.”

The officer left, still rubbing his head.

Joe turned—and saw me.

His expression tightened immediately.

“Barry.”

“What happened?” I asked, already knowing I wasn’t going to like the answer.

Joe exhaled slowly.

“Someone hacked the cameras, used smoke bombs to blind security, got into the file room and the weapon storage. Clean. Surgical. In and out before backup could even respond.”

My stomach dropped.

“And the witness?”

“Officer Johnson only saw her for a second,” Joe said. “Said she moved like lightning.”

Silence settled between us.

I already knew what was coming next.

Joe said it anyway.

“Do you think it was (y/n)?”

My jaw tightened.

“I don’t know, Joe,” I admitted, voice lower than I wanted it to be. “I don’t even know what she’s capable of anymore. It’s like she’s becoming someone else… someone who doesn’t care who gets hurt.”

Joe didn’t hesitate.

“Well, Barry, we need to find her before she does something worse. Before someone gets killed.”

That word hit harder than it should’ve.

“I don’t think she’ll kill anyone,” I said quickly.

Joe gave me a look—patient, but firm.

“And what if she already isn’t the person you think she is anymore?”

I shook my head.

“No. I know (y/n). I knew her before everything—before Iris, before all of this. She’s not like that. She wouldn’t—she can’t—”

Joe cut in gently, but it landed heavier than a shout.

“Are you saying that because you know her… or because you love her?”

My mouth opened.

Nothing came out.

Joe’s eyes narrowed slightly—not accusing, just aware.

“Iris told me something,” he added carefully. “She said (y/n) confessed she loved you. And now you’re standing here trying to figure out what that means for you.”

That pulled everything back to the surface.

Her voice.

Her shaking hands.

The way she looked at me like I was both her home and her wound.

I swallowed hard.

“She told me she loved me since we were kids,” I said quietly. “That it took her years to try and move on from me. She said the only way she could get over me… was if I told her I didn’t love her.”

Joe stayed silent, letting me continue.

“And I didn’t say it,” I added, voice tightening. “I couldn’t. So I told her I was in love with Iris… because I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

Joe’s expression shifted slightly—less tactical now, more human.

“Do you love her?” he asked.

I exhaled sharply, frustrated at myself more than anything.

“I don’t know, Joe,” I said. “I care about her. I always have. She’s been there for me through everything. But I don’t know what that turns into. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel anymore.”

Joe nodded once, slow.

“Then you’re going to have to figure it out,” he said. “Because right now we’ve got (Y/N) on the loose who knows all of our systems, all of our tech—and she might be getting pushed further away from us every second.”

I nodded, but it didn’t feel like agreement.

It felt like loss.

•Reader’s POV•

I was still missing pieces.

That was the only thing that mattered now.

Not feelings. Not names. Not Barry Allen’s voice echoing in my head like a wound that wouldn’t close.

Just completion.

Just the Elites Sphere.

I packed the empty bag again and moved fast, slipping out into the night like a shadow that had learned how to think for itself.

At S.T.A.R. Labs, I disabled the alarms before they even had time to exist. Cameras looped. Sensors blinded. Every system turned into silence.

Perfect.

I slipped inside.

The Cortex was active—but distracted. Voices overlapped. Movement everywhere. I stayed in the blind spots, moving through the edges of their world like I didn’t belong in it anymore.

Because I didn’t.

I reached the Time Vault.

My hand pressed against the interface.

It opened for me anyway.

Gideon’s voice filled the room.

“Good afternoon, Ms. (y/l/n).”

“Good afternoon, Gideon.”

“What can I assist you with?”

“I need the blueprints for the Elites Sphere.”

“Certainly.”

The hologram unfolded—cold, mathematical beauty. A weapon that could reshape everything.

I studied it like it didn’t belong to me anymore.

Like I was just borrowing destruction.

I inserted the USB.

“Transfer all Elites Sphere data,” I said. “No backups. No trace.”

“Transfer in progress.”

The silence while it processed felt too long.

Like something inside me was waiting to be interrupted.

“Transfer complete.”

I pulled the USB out.

Paused.

“Gideon… erase any record that I was ever here.”

“There are no detectable signs of your presence.”

Good.

Because I didn’t know who I was becoming anymore.

I left.

Three floors dropped beneath me in a blur of vibration, the world stuttering like reality couldn’t keep up.

Then I entered the prototype room.

Wells. Cisco. Thawne.

All the ghosts of this place stacked in one room like they were waiting for me to repeat history.

I grabbed what I needed.

Too fast.

Too efficiently.

Until—

“Stop.”

Barry’s voice.

I froze.

Not fully turned. Not fully ready.

“What are you doing?” he asked, slower now. Like he already feared the answer.

“It’s none of your concern,” I said carefully. “Move, Barry.”

His eyes dropped to the item in my hand.

“…Is that Thawne’s tech?”

My grip tightened instantly.

“No,” I lied too quickly.

That was enough.

“Barry, please,” I said softer now, almost pleading without meaning to. “Just go.”

“I can’t,” he said. “Not when I know you’re doing this.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” I snapped, stepping back.

“I know you,” he insisted. “I’ve always known you.”

That cracked something.

Because he sounded so sure.

So wrong.

Then he said it.

“I love you.”

The words hit like impact.

Not healing. Not warmth.

Pressure.

“I love you, (y/n). I always have. I just didn’t realize it until now.”

My breath caught.

Anger came faster than pain.

“No,” I said sharply. “No, you don’t get to say that now. Not after everything.”

“You left me,” I continued, voice rising. “Every time I needed you—you were somewhere else. With her. Always her.”

Electricity crawled under my skin.

Unstable.

Feral.

“(y/n), stop—”

“I HATE YOU, BARRY!”

It burst out like a fracture finally breaking.

Lightning exploded from me.

He tried to move.

Too late.

It hit him hard enough to send him crashing through the cabinet behind him. Glass shattered outward, metal bending under the force. He hit the floor and didn’t get up immediately.

My chest heaved.

I was already gone before I could see his face clearly.

Back at my base, the silence was unbearable.

The Elites Sphere pieces sat in front of me like they were watching.

Judging.

Waiting.

Does he really love me? Do I love him? Am I evil?

I shoved the thought down.

Built instead.

Because building didn’t ask questions.

But my hands slowed anyway.

Frustration spiked.

I kicked the trash can hard enough to send it clattering across the room.

Then I dropped into the chair.

Head down.

Breathing uneven.

And for the first time…

I couldn’t tell if I was building something to save myself—

or something to destroy everything I still had left.

•Barry’s POV•

“Guys… we don’t even know what she’s planning,” I said again, my voice tighter this time, like saying it twice might make it make sense.

“But we do know she has Thawne’s tech… and some of mine,” Cisco replied, eyes fixed on the monitors like answers might appear if he stared hard enough.

Ralph leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

“Okay, but why? What’s the endgame here? You don’t just steal CCPD weapons, Mercury Labs tech, and speedster-level equipment for fun.”

“I don’t know,” I said, cutting in faster than I meant to. “But something’s wrong. Something changed. She’s not just upgrading her abilities—she’s evolving.”

Caitlin’s expression shifted, subtle but sharp.

“What do you mean?”

I swallowed.

“She has multiple powers now. Not just speed. Not just lightning. It’s like… she’s layering them. Like she’s copying pieces of other people.”

The room went quiet for half a second.

Then Caitlin spoke again, slower.

“You said her lightning changed?”

I nodded.

“Purple before. Now it’s red. And her hair—Caitlin, it’s not just a color shift. It’s like her whole energy signature is different.”

“That’s not normal metahuman adaptation,” Caitlin said under her breath. “That’s… something else.”

“She started sounding like Thawne,” I added quietly.

That landed heavier than anything else.

Joe stepped forward.

“How is that even possible?”

“I don’t know,” I said, and for the first time it sounded completely honest.

Because I didn’t.

Not anymore.

Not with her.

Ralph pushed off his chair.

“Alright, then we track her. If she’s moving this fast, she’s leaving something behind. Energy residue, tech signatures—something.”

“I’ll run scans through satellite grids,” Cisco added immediately. “If she’s hitting locations tied to S.T.A.R. Labs or CCPD, we’ll narrow it down.”

Caitlin hesitated.

“I’ll try to analyze what’s happening to her powers,” she said softly. “If there’s a way DeVoe altered her neural or metahuman pathways… I might find it.”

One by one, they left.

The room slowly emptied until it was just me and Joe.

The silence felt heavier than before.

I turned slightly, eyes drifting to my suit hanging in the lab. Bright red. Clean lines. Something I used to put on and feel like I was doing good.

Now it just felt like responsibility I couldn’t outrun.

Joe stepped closer and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Barr… we’ll get her back.”

I shook my head almost immediately.

“I don’t know, Joe,” I said quietly. “She really hates me.”

Joe didn’t remove his hand.

“She doesn’t hate you,” he said firmly. “She’s hurt. There’s a difference.”

I let out a short, broken breath.

“I finally told her I love her,” I said, almost like I was admitting to a mistake instead of a feeling.

Joe blinked slightly.

“You told her?”

I nodded.

“And she didn’t believe me,” I added. “Or maybe she did… and that’s what made it worse.”

Joe’s expression softened, but his voice stayed steady.

“She’s been pushed too far, Barry. And I don’t think this is just her. I think DeVoe is using her. Shaping her. Turning her into something that keeps us distracted.”

I looked down at my hands.

They were still steady.

But everything else wasn’t.

Joe studied me for a long moment.

Then he asked the question I didn’t want to answer out loud.

“Barry… do you really love her?”

The question should’ve been simple.

It wasn’t.

Because every answer I could think of felt like it came too late.

“I think I’ve loved her for a long time,” I said finally, voice low. “I just never knew what it was… or how to say it. And now that I do…”

I swallowed hard.

“…I don’t know if I’ve already lost her.”

[hppylaw]

You were the one that I loved not anymore (Barry Allen x reader) pt.2

Warning: inappropriate language, mention of abuse, depression

Warning: I do not own any of the flash content or the characters it’s just for the story, I only own my character and the story I’m writing

Summary: you the reader are in love with Barry Allen but he is married to Iris West and you get to your breaking point

•~•Series Masterlist•~•-

I sat alone, waiting.

Waiting for DeVoe to return and give me my next instructions. After all, he was the one who helped me see the truth… the one who finally made everything make sense.

The Flash’s expression kept replaying in my mind. That pitying look. Like I was something to be saved.

I hated it.

A sound behind me made me react instantly.

My hand snapped up, forming a weapon out of pure energy—sharp, unstable, glowing purple. I aimed without hesitation.

But then I saw them.

DeVoe.

And Marlize.

I exhaled sharply and lowered my hand, the weapon dissolving back into nothing.

“Maybe you should give a warning,” I said coldly. “There are a lot of people willing to kill you, you know.”

DeVoe didn’t react to my tone at all.

“How was your conversation with Mr. Allen?” he asked calmly.

My jaw tightened.

“He tried to convince me I was ‘good.’ That I wasn’t a villain.” I let out a short, humorless laugh. “And that you did something to me.”

I stepped forward slightly, anger building.

“But that’s bullshit. I chose this.”

My voice sharpened.

“I decided who I am. Not him. Not any of them.”

My eyes glowed faintly again.

“They never cared about me. Ever. They used me. They betrayed me. They made me feel like I was nothing to them.”

My hands clenched.

“That’s not what family does.”

A pause.

“They’re not my family,” I said quietly. Then louder—more certain. “They’re nothing to me. Nothing.”

DeVoe watched me with quiet approval.

“My sweet (y/n),” he said gently. “It’s perfectly alright. You can do whatever you wish to Mr. Allen and Team Flash.”

Something inside me steadied at his words.

“All we need,” he continued, “is for you to send a message. A signal that you are no longer with them.”

I nodded slowly.

“And then we proceed with my plan.”

A smirk formed on my face.

“If they think they’re getting me back,” I said, voice low and sharp, “they’re going to realize they’re wrong.”

My power flickered around my fingertips.

“They’re going to have another thing coming.”

I grabbed my things and turned slightly.

“Good luck with your mission, Ms. (y/l/n),” DeVoe said.

I didn’t look back.

“Yeah,” I replied flatly.

A breach opened, and he stepped through with Marlize following behind.

But she hesitated.

“(Y/n),” Marlize said softly, stepping forward. “This isn’t you. Don’t let this consume you. My husband is using you—please, trust me.”

I finally looked at her.

And for a split second—

something flickered.

“You’re not evil,” Marlize said quickly. “It’s what Clifford put in your mind. He changed how you see things—he’s using your pain, your memories, everything against you. He’s turning it into a weapon against the Flash.”

I stared at her, unmoving.

For a moment… something flickered again. Something uncertain.

But I pushed it down.

“Look,” I said coldly, my voice flat but sharp, “I don’t care about Barry. Or anyone else.”

My eyes hardened.

“I only care about myself now. And I’m going to make him understand what pain really feels like.”

I turned to leave.

But Marlize grabbed my arm.

Hard.

She pulled me close, lowering her voice so only I could hear.

“They’re the only family you have,” she said urgently. “Clifford has changed too. He’s not stable—he’s putting drugs in my drink. I’m going to leave him.”

Her grip tightened slightly.

“Please,” she said. “Do the right thing. Don’t become the person who destroys the only family and friends you have left, Ms. (y/l/n).”

Something in her voice cracked.

Worried. Desperate. Real.

For a second, I didn’t move.

Then I pulled my arm free.

And I was gone.

Mercury Labs.

I hit the building in a blur of purple lightning, sliding into the lab before anyone could react.

Cameras were the first thing I destroyed—quick flashes of energy, one after another, until the system went dark.

Silence fell.

Good.

I moved fast through the room, opening cabinets, scanning everything. Chemicals. Experimental compounds. Anything I could use.

I packed them carefully into a case without hesitation.

No one was going to stop me.

Not anymore.

That’s when I saw her.

Dr. McGee.

Standing at the door.

Our eyes met.

I didn’t hesitate.

In a blur, I moved—vibration rippling through my body as I phased just enough to avoid a direct reaction, closing distance before she could even process what was happening.

She turned to run—

I hit her with a controlled burst of energy.

She collapsed instantly.

Not dead.

Just out.

I exhaled once and dragged her back into her office, placing her down carefully enough not to cause lasting harm.

Then I turned to her computer.

A few seconds later, I was inside the system.

Data. Experiments. Files.

Everything I needed.

I transferred it all.

“This is useful,” I muttered under my breath.

The alarm suddenly blared.

Voices echoed in the hallway.

They were coming.

I grabbed my case and moved immediately.

Too fast.

Too precise.

I phased through the floor just as the door burst open, landing on the level below with a sharp exhale.

Emergency exit.

Perfect.

I ran.

The back of Mercury Labs.

I was almost free.

Almost.

I spotted the electrical box near the wall.

Without thinking, I opened it and released a surge of power.

The building went dark behind me.

Perfect distraction.

I turned to leave—

And froze.

The Flash stood there.

Watching.

Still.

His posture was tense, but not just as a hero.

As Barry.

His mask was gone.

And his face…

Confused.

Hurt.

Angry.

Like he didn’t know whether to stop me or save me.

For a second, neither of us moved.

Just silence.

Then everything between us changed.

“What are you doing?” Barry asked, his voice sharp but still confused more than angry.

“That is none of your business,” I said coldly, stepping back and tightening my grip on the stolen case. “So go somewhere else, Barry. I have errands to run.”

“No,” he said immediately, shaking his head. His tone shifted—hurt now, not just heroic. “You’re robbing Mercury Labs. And you’re working with DeVoe.”

I let out a humorless laugh, my eyes narrowing.

“So what, Barry? DeVoe has helped me more than you ever did. More than Team Flash ever did.” My voice rose, cracking at the edges even as I forced it steady. “You don’t care about me. And I don’t care about you either. I’m not your best friend, Barry Allen. I’m never going to be your best friend.”

For a second, something flickered across his face—like I had physically hit him.

Pain. Shock. Disbelief.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, stepping forward anyway. “But you’re a criminal. And so is whoever you’re working with.”

That was it.

He blurred forward in a flash of red and gold.

I reacted instantly.

My hands snapped up, electricity surging through my arms as I ripped open a small breach mid-air—unstable, jagged, glowing purple at the edges. The speed force collided with it for half a second before I hurled a blast straight through.

Barry slammed into the concrete wall of the lab with a brutal impact. The sound echoed—bone, metal, glass rattling.

He dropped, but tried to push himself up.

I didn’t let him.

I sent a surge of electricity into the floor beneath him. It arced through him like a live wire, forcing a sharp cry out of his throat as his body locked and collapsed again.

My breathing was uneven now.

Fast.

Too fast.

But I didn’t stop.

I shaped the energy in my hands into something solid—light bending, hardening into a blade-like form of crackling violet energy. It hummed violently, unstable and sharp.

I walked to him as he struggled to lift his head.

I grabbed him by the front of his suit and forced his chin up, pressing the glowing edge just under it.

Barry froze.

His eyes met mine.

And for a split second—just a split second—I saw him there.

Not the Flash.

Not the hero.

Barry.

“What do you think you’re going to do?” I said, voice low and shaking in a way I hated. “You’re going to stop following me. You’re going to stop trying to fix me.”

My grip tightened.

“And if you don’t… people are going to die. And I’m going to make sure you feel it every time.”

His jaw clenched.

“You’re not like this,” he said, breath uneven. “This isn’t you.”

A bitter laugh escaped me.

“Don’t do that,” I snapped. “Don’t say my name like you still know me.”

He kept going anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Barry said, softer now. “I’m sorry I wasn’t the friend you needed. But you are the only person who stayed with me when I lost everything. My mom. Ronnie. Everything. You were there. You saw me.”

His voice broke slightly.

“So please… don’t do this. Stay with me.”

That word—stay—hit harder than anything else he’d done.

My hand trembled.

Just for a second.

Then I forced it away.

“I’m not your best friend anymore,” I said coldly. “I’m not your anything.”

I dropped the blade and summoned the cuffs from his belt in a blur of motion.

Before he could react, I snapped them onto his wrists.

Barry looked at me like he couldn’t believe it.

Like I had just rewritten reality.

“What are you doing?” he asked, struggling once—but I hit him with another controlled pulse of electricity, just enough to force him down.

A scream ripped out of him.

I didn’t answer.

I grabbed him and sped him out before he could recover, dragging him in a violent blur of motion.

S.T.A.R. Labs hit like a blur of lights and noise.

I dropped into the Cortex center.

Everyone was there.

Caitlin. Cisco. Joe. Iris. Ralph.

All of them turned at once.

And I let Barry fall.

He hit the floor hard, coughing, trying to push himself up.

“Barry!” Iris screamed, running forward—

I raised my hand instantly.

Electricity flared around my palm.

Joe grabbed her and pulled her back.

“Don’t,” I said flatly.

The room went silent.

Cisco looked like he couldn’t even process what he was seeing. “What are you doing, (y/n)?”

I tilted my head slightly.

“That’s none of your concern,” I said. My voice was calm now—too calm. “But I have a message for all of you.”

Barry coughed on the floor, trying to sit up.

I stepped closer and looked down at him.

Then back at them.

“I want to say thank you,” I said, almost smiling. “For showing me exactly what I am to you.”

I paused.

“For showing me I was never really part of this team.”

I heard Iris breathe sharply.

Joe’s hand tightened on his weapon.

Caitlin’s eyes filled with shock and disbelief.

Cisco whispered my name like he was trying to bring me back.

I ignored it.

“I’m not your friend,” I continued. “I’m not your family. And if you try to ‘save’ me again…”

My eyes flicked to Barry.

“…you’re going to regret it.”

The room shifted—tension snapping tight like a wire.

Joe raised his gun.

“Put him down.”

A slow smile crossed my face.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said sarcastically. “Did I hurt your feelings?”

I moved in a blur.

One second I was standing.

The next, I had Barry by the collar again.

Electricity surged through my arm into him as I drove a blade of energy into his shoulder.

Barry cried out, the sound echoing through the Cortex.

I let him drop.

He collapsed, gasping, clutching his shoulder.

For a moment… I just stood there.

Looking at him.

Looking at all of them.

Something inside me twisted.

Something wrong.

But I swallowed it down.

Hard.

“Now you guys got my message,” I said, my voice low and sharp as I stood in the center of the wrecked Cortex. “I don’t want anything to do with any of you. And Barry Allen—”

I turned my head slightly toward him as he groaned on the floor.

“Leave me alone. Unless you want to feel that pain again… or watch it happen to someone on your team.”

The words landed hard.

Barry didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He was still clutching his shoulder, trying to breathe through the pain.

I glanced at the others.

They were staring at me like I was someone they didn’t recognize anymore.

Good.

I rolled my eyes, like it meant nothing.

“Don’t test me,” I added quietly.

Then I moved.

A blur of purple lightning ripped through the lab.

Panels exploded. Glass shattered. Monitors sparked and died one after another as I tore through S.T.A.R. Labs like a storm given form. Systems went dark. Alarms screamed and then cut out mid-cycle.

Cisco shouted something—I didn’t even listen.

I didn’t stop until I had made my point.

Until everything felt quiet again.

I reappeared where I started, the air still vibrating with static.

“Now you know I’m serious,” I said coldly. “Don’t get in my way.”

My eyes flicked across them one last time.

“I won’t hesitate to kill any of you.”

A pause.

Then I let a small, twisted smirk form.

I let my voice drop lower, darker—almost not mine anymore.

“Good luck with your little problem.”

And I was gone.

I grabbed my things from the hiding spot in a blur, my hands moving too fast even for me to fully process. The case hit the table harder than I intended when I got back.

Silence swallowed the room.

And then—

Me.

Standing alone.

I stared down at my own hands.

They were still faintly glowing.

Still unstable.

Still wrong.

What am I doing?

The thought came quieter this time.

Not anger.

Not power.

Just… me.

I just threatened them.

I just hurt Barry.

My throat tightened.

I forced myself to move before the feeling could grow.

I pulled off my mask and dropped it on the table.

Then I turned back to my work.

Faster. Sharper. Anything to drown it out.

Anything so I didn’t have to think about his face.

Barry Allen POV

I groaned, the pain in my shoulder burning deep enough to make my vision blur.

“Barry!” Iris’s voice broke through immediately as she rushed to my side.

“I’m fine,” I muttered through clenched teeth, even though I clearly wasn’t.

“You are not fine,” Caitlin said quickly, already kneeling beside me. “We need to stabilize him. Now.”

Cisco and Ralph helped lift me carefully, moving fast but controlled, carrying me toward the med bay.

Joe stayed behind for a second, staring at the destroyed Cortex like he couldn’t process what just happened.

“I never thought (y/n) would go rogue,” he said quietly.

Cisco didn’t respond right away.

“Or that she’d hate us that much,” he added instead.

They got me into the medical room.

The lights were still flickering from the damage outside, but Caitlin worked fast—clean, practiced, steady hands.

“Okay,” she said, tightening the bandages around my shoulder. “You’re going to heal, but you need to stay still.”

“Thanks, Caitlin,” I said weakly.

She nodded once and stepped back.

Iris stayed right beside me, holding my hand tightly like she was afraid I’d disappear if she let go.

But my mind wasn’t here.

It was still in the Cortex.

Still seeing her face.

Still hearing her voice.

“Iris…” I said quietly.

She looked at me immediately. “What?”

“She’s not evil,” I said.

Iris’s grip tightened. “Barry—she stabbed you.”

“She’s hurt,” I corrected. My voice was firmer now, even if it hurt to speak. “I can see it. This isn’t just her choosing this. Something is wrong.”

Iris shook her head slightly. “Barry, she destroyed S.T.A.R. Labs. She threatened all of us. You can’t just—”

“I know what she did,” I cut in.

My voice dropped.

“But I also know her.”

Silence.

I swallowed hard, forcing the words out.

“I haven’t been the best friend to her,” I admitted. “We grew up together… but I still always let it become you and me. I never really made sure she felt like she belonged.”

Iris’s expression shifted slightly.

“Barry…” she said softer now.

My eyes dropped to the floor.

“She told me she loved me,” I said.

That made Iris freeze.

“I didn’t know,” I continued. “Or maybe I did, and I just didn’t want to see it. Because I was focused on you.”

Iris stepped back slightly.

“Wait,” she said carefully. “(y/n) loves you?”

I nodded once.

A long silence followed.

Then Iris let out a slow breath and stood up.

“I need a minute,” she said quietly.

“Please,” I said quickly, reaching slightly with my good arm. “Iris—”

But she was already walking away.

“Barry,” she said without turning back. “I just need time.”

And then she was gone.

I leaned back against the bed, staring at the ceiling, my shoulder burning, my chest heavier than the injury.

Because the pain in my arm wasn’t the worst part.

It was knowing she looked at me like I didn’t matter anymore.

And realizing…

Maybe I deserved that.

I sat there for a long time after Iris left.

The med bay felt too quiet now—just the soft hum of machines and the distant echo of S.T.A.R. Labs trying to recover from what had just happened.

My shoulder throbbed, but it wasn’t what I was focused on.

It was her.

I kept seeing her face in the Cortex.

Not the version that attacked us.

Not the version with lightning in her hands.

But the version I grew up with.

Laughing with Iris.

Teasing Cisco.

Pulling me out of my own head when I got stuck in grief.

I pressed my hand to my forehead.

“What did I do…” I whispered.

A few minutes later, footsteps returned.

I looked up.

Iris was standing in the doorway again.

But this time, she wasn’t angry.

She just looked… tired.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” I replied just as quietly.

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

There was a long pause before she spoke.

“I didn’t come back to fight,” she said. “I just… needed to understand what you meant.”

I nodded slowly. “Okay.”

She crossed her arms, but not defensively—more like she was holding herself together.

“You said you don’t know if you love her,” Iris said carefully.

I didn’t answer right away.

Because saying it out loud made it real.

“I don’t know,” I admitted finally. My voice was low. “And that’s what scares me.”

Iris didn’t interrupt.

So I kept going.

“I love you, Iris. I always have,” I said, looking at the floor instead of her. “That was never a question for me. It was always just… you.”

A beat of silence.

“But (y/n)…” I swallowed hard. “She’s been there for me in ways I didn’t even realize until now.”

My fingers curled into the blanket beside me.

“When I lost my mom… when I was trying to be okay after everything with Reverse Flash… Zoom… Savitar…” I shook my head slightly. “She was always there. Even when I didn’t ask her to be.”

Iris sat down in the chair beside me now.

Quiet.

Listening.

“And I think I took that for granted,” I said, my voice cracking just slightly. “I think I always assumed she’d just… be there. No matter what. Like she didn’t need anything back.”

I finally looked up at Iris.

“My best friend,” I said softly. “And I didn’t protect her. I didn’t see her. Not really.”

Iris’s expression softened even more.

“Barry,” she said gently, “that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“It doesn’t make it better either,” I said immediately.

Another pause.

Then I exhaled slowly, like the truth was finally catching up to me.

“Iris… when she told me she loved me,” I continued, “I didn’t know what to do with that. Because part of me… didn’t want to lose you.”

Iris nodded slightly, like she already understood that part.

“But now she’s gone,” I said quietly. “And I don’t even know if she’ll ever come back as… her.”

My voice dropped lower.

“I didn’t choose either of you,” I admitted. “And now I think I’ve lost both.”

Iris looked down for a moment.

Then she said something I didn’t expect.

“You’re going to have to decide what you want,” she said calmly. “Not what’s easiest. Not what’s safe.”

She looked back at me.

“What you actually feel.”

I didn’t answer right away.

Because for the first time…

I was afraid the answer wasn’t as simple as I always thought it would be.

And somewhere deep down, all I could see was (y/n)’s face—

not angry.

not violent.

just… hurt.

And I realized that was the version of her I couldn’t stop thinking about.