Lesbians And Gays Of The Past #7: Book Review of Leave Myself Behind by Bart Yates
Leave Myself Behind is classed as a gay young adult novel, but honestly I would be hesitant to put it in the YA category. The two man boys are 16 and 17 but this novel deals with very graphic and intense scenes regarding sexual activity and abuse. It shines a very true and brutal light on the type of homophobia gay men face in a small religious town. As well as the long term psychological damage of CSA and what that can do to a person and how it can even affect their children. This certainly isn’t a light read, but our main character, Noah York, is an insanely witty and snarky boy so with the way he narrates this story you sometimes forget about the completely messed aspects of it. The romance in this story is handled extremely well and develops at a very natural pace. This story is written by a gay man and the protagonist is biracial (half Portuguese and half white), however to my knowledge the author is white. Due to this , I think at least, any race issues such as racism or how different cultures may stereotypically act to homosexuality, aren’t really brought up in this novel.
After his father passed away, Noah and his mother ,Virgina ,end up moving to a small town, where she begins teaching at the university. His mother and him have a very odd relationship I would say, in the end it’s pretty unhealthy but the novel does well to address the toxic nature of it. In this new town he meets a boy named J.D., who is his neighbor. The two are polar opposites in terms of interests and personality but they click together instantly and become fast friends. Now, I’m a lesbian, so I don’t exactly have the most knowledge on typical male interactions and friends, let alone how it is affected by a man being gay, but I will say from what I’ve heard about male friendships and from what my gay male friends have told me, this novel seemed to really understand the struggles and complexities that come along with that. The boys acted like stereotypical teenage boys. Noah and J.D. rough house, they swear, they use words they probably shouldn’t and they struggle with letting themselves fully express what they want to. However, they also go through some incredible character development and grow a lot as people as they deal with the hardships of their life.
It will be hard to talk about their struggles without giving away too many spoilers, but throughout the novel both boys learn about some horrific pains and tragedies as they get closer together about their lives and they end up emotionally depending on each other a lot.
I would recommend this novel to anyone who enjoys reading very intense realistic fiction and also wants to see what I deem as a very important and accurate reparation of what it can be like to be a young gay man.
Trigger Warning - Spoilers -: domestic abuse, homophobic language, homophobic hate crimes, self harm, mentions of r*pe, mentions of death, mentions of CSA, mentions of r*pe via incest, child abuse, sexism, ableist language
(Spoilers): Has a HEA for the gay couple
