#bartender problems

[orangeskiesandbigeyes]

I was told there was no ketel… well to my surprise as i was restocking a different vodka, there it was! So enjoy this photo i sent to call the person out who told me it was 86’d

[fuck-customers]

the scene:

i used to bartend in one of those big chain restaurants where there's serves and then usually one, sometimes two, bartenders making drinks for all the servers while taking care of the people eating/drinking at the bar

one slow thursday morning, 2 servers called out but it was mostly okay since it was so slow. there was one person at the bar and one family sitting at a table in the bar area but not very close to the bar

so im mindin my business, prepping strawberries and drink mixes and making hella mimosas when a woman at the table SNAPS HER FINGERS at me. naturally im immediately angry and naturally i ignore her. she's not at my bar and her server is getting soup like chill out woman. but then she snaps at me AGAIN and says something along the lines of 'um EXCUSE me bartender?' and i look up just like 'WHAT'

she then insists is get her an arnold palmer, has super specific requirements on the lemonade to iced tea ration, makes me remake it TWICE, and then has the AUDACITY, the unmitigated GALL to complain about me to my manager.

like fuck OFF ma'am and wait 2 secs for your stupid server who's just standing in the servers corner chatting

[angel-has-fallen]

So fuck customers, right.

At the pub where I work, we are accepting both card and cash payments. A lot of people appreciate that they can use cash, as there a lot of places currently refusing to accept it.

So I have a table ask for their bill, I bring it over, he asks if he can pay cash. I say yes, no problem, and he gets out his wallet and jokes that "it's clean, don't worry; I washed it this morning". I laugh it off, and THEN... this guy, in a GLOBAL FUCKING PANDEMIC, gets out his cash, LICKS HIS FINGER, counts it out and hands it to me. Man I held that cash at arms length like it was a ticking bomb and downed my hands in sanitiser once it was in the till. To add to it all, I was cashing up tonight so had to touch it again when counting the till, cue a shed load more sanitiser.

Why are people gross?

[unfortunate-waitress]

“I’d like a cold beer. COLD! Make sure it’s cold. I don’t like warm beer. C-O-L-D! And in an even colder glass. It’s hot outside so it’s gotta be nice and c-“

Me:

[darth-vendor]

So today me and the regulars in the bar I work in were arguing over whether or not Irish people in general were uglier (or less attractive in general) than people from other countries. All the usuals were brought up: Colin Farrell, Saoirse Ronan, nineties Bond... the Fassbender was ruled out cos he's half German as far as I know- but it was argued these were outliers. Anyway one of the lads, the Kerryman, put his pint down and held up a hand until everyone else quietened down. "What are the cliffs of Moher to this nose?" he says, gesturing to his own, admittedly craggy, face. "We were carved by five thousand years of Atlantic wind and rain..." He holds out a hand as though feeling that wind now, a faraway look in his eyes, as though staring out across the vast and empty horizon. There is a moment when everyone pauses, absorbed, before he takes up his pint again and raises an eyebrow at me before shrugging. "Sure how else would we look WHA??" Anyway one of the other lads fell off his chair and we laughed nearly as hard at that.

[shriekingpotatos]

Tequila

Today I had a lady come up and buy a 60 oz margarita. When she ordered it, I asked if she would like to add any extra shots of tequila. Lady: how many shots are in it already? Me: it’s about 20% alcohol without any extra shots. Lady: fuck it, give me 2 extra shots. Me: 2 extra shots? Sure no problem. I pour her extra shots, pour her margarita and hand her the cup. She takes a sip and makes a sour face. Lady: oh my god this is so strong!!! Can we fix it?! Me: ...I’m sorry, fix it??? Lady: you don’t have any Virgin margarita you can put in here to weaken it??? Me: sorry no it’s all alcoholic Lady: ugh I just hate tequila! Pause. You ordered a SIXTY (60) ounce margarita with TWO!!! (2) EXTRA SHOTS OF TEQUILA AND ARE COMPLAINING BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE TEQUILA LIKE??? At this point, even the gentlemen she came up with are making fun of her for saying such a stupid thing. She ended up giving the guys the margarita and getting a soda instead.

[munkime]

Nothing like bartending first thing in the morning.

[lets-imagine-fanfics]

My Kink: when customers bring back their glasses