I marched solemnly down the basement stairs in front of my father. I could feel his conniving pupils piercing me in the back. I knew this was going to be more than just a little chat. He had evidently found time to do some research and planning in the midst of "meeting with doctors all day".
He seemed to think he had complete control over the situation. Dressed in his best suit of pin stripes and arrogance, drenched in his vindictive bastard cologne, which reeked so badly I nearly gagged. Nevertheless, I was prepared to grab the helm from him at the first sight of trouble.
I was more comfortable standing, but I sat down on the couch beside Melissa anyway. Maybe two judicious faces glaring up at him would make him reconsider his sins. Liss was extremely nervous, I could tell, but she held herself together quite well. I couldn't tell if she had no emotion left inside or she believed that my father had devised the perfect solution that would wipe all this horror away.
"I did a lot of thinking last night and today..." He began.
Well I should hope so, you're holding three people's lives in the balance.
"I am going to pick your mother up from the train station on Friday and bring her back to the house to tell her. I think it should be here in the privacy and comfort of our own home. I know she is going to be livid with me and I'm anticipating a long, grueling conversation. Your mother may even tell me to pack up my things right then and there. You girls know how she is."
Yeah I know how she is, I lived in the same house with her for 22 years. She doesn't put up with anyone's lies or bullshit. She's going to tear through you like a pit-bull whose found a rib-eye steak.
"I have already made arrangements to move out into my own apartment."
My heart stopped. Even though I had heard mention of it on the phone, I could not believe my father was already planning his exit strategy. I let him continue on.
"Your mother should have the house and I don't want to disrupt your girls' lives. So, it's just better if I move out on my own."
Don't want to disrupt our lives?! It's a little late for that, Dad. I'm pretty sure Melissa and I's lives have permanently derailed.
"So you definitely think Mom is going to want a divorce?" Melissa asked.
Without hesitation he replied, "Your mother is never going to be okay with what I've done and even if we tried to work through it, I don't want to live a life where I am constantly being punished for my mistakes. I don't want to be haunted by this in every argument: 'but you cheated on me!' No. I want to be happy and I want to be with someone who appreciates me."
Wow. He had completely made up his mind. It was over. And he had mapped out his escape route to his new life. I had no words. I had to respect the fact that he recognized he had made a huge mistake and was not willing to pay my mother's consequences. He would rather gather the minuscule scraps left of his dignity and move on with his life.
"I know it is a lot to ask you girls not to say anything to your mother until I speak to her, but please... let me be the one to tell her. Please do not say anything to her or to anyone until I speak to her.
"I will need you two to find a place to stay on Friday night. I want it to just be your mother and I here. Alone."
