This day is a very important day to me. Hindi ko sukat akalang nandito pa rin ako.
Nagmamahal. Kumakapit. Lumalaban.
It has been tough and challenging 7 years since I decided to just let Christ and my faith on Him move in my life as I becoming the man He wants me to be.
Pitong taon.
Pitong taon, at masaya pa rin akong naglilingkod Sakanya. Pitong taon, at nagbabaga pa rin ang apoy dito sa puso ko. Pitong taon, at patuloy pa rin akong nagtitiwala Sakanya.
Mula sa musmos na bata noon hanggang sa hustong gulang na ginoo ngayon, Pitong taon, at kahit kailan hindi ako nagsawang mahalin Siya.
"...maybe our teachers will forget our names, our tambayan place will be taken by someone else’s group, our books will be passed on to the next batch and in the end we never really feel like we’ve left enough legacy."
(WARNING: may be in danger of unexpected sentimental feelings from me)
This was a piece I wrote a long time ago, when I just had my last academic day as a Pisay student. I came across this when I was backreading my old posts. I was inspired to add some more to it and since I terribly miss Pisay, I realized I had so much to say. This is quite long so I'm sorry in advance.
"I guess this is some sort of life epiphany slash realization slash life lesson I learned now that I'm in my last year of my stay there. Yesterday was my last academic day ever in my Pisay life, and the sad thing about it is that it felt just like any other normal day for me. All the picture-taking with the teachers didn't feel so sentimental for me, and the suspension of classes in the afternoon didn't help at all.
I guess the only thing that triggered sentimental feelings to me was when we watched 2010's sort-of farewell video during our STR period. Let me just say that batch 2010 was the elder batch I got to know least since I was in first year back when they were in their last year. Basically, I barely knew anyone from their batch, but that video made me more sentimental than ever. It wasn't because of the people I knew from their batch, but the sad yet accurate fact I learned that Pisay doesn’t stop for anyone – as said by one of my favourite people in the world, B Poblete. There will come a time when the current first year batch right now (or rather Grade 7) will not even remember the aura our batch gave to this school - the exact same thing I felt when batch 2010 left when I was in first year. I never really felt their absence, and I know there will come a time when the younger batches will turn seniors and the cycle goes on and on until we realize in the end - we’re really nothing special.
While I was alone in the grandstand yesterday, I realized that after my four years in Pisay, I don’t quite remember seeing the grandstand the way I see it right now. I guess the grandstand didn’t matter to me during my first few years since I was so sure that it won’t leave, I mean, it’s technically just there. It's going to stay there. We never really appreciate things that are just there, or are unchanging. Yet when I was in the grandstand, it felt like I was seeing visions from the past regarding my experiences. I saw myself sitting there with my Bible study group back when I was in first year. I saw myself with my Topaz classmates since it was there where we used to stay during dismissal while playing rubber band games. I saw myself talking to friends and playing the guitar for our music subject during second year. I saw myself listening to people’s heartbreaks or simply eating lunch with them when I was in third year. I saw myself with someone confessing feelings. I even saw myself being asked to prom right at the very spot I was sitting.
Basically, I saw how the grandstand played a great part in my high school memories without me ever really appreciating it. I guess, soon after I graduate, it will be the grandstand’s turn to not miss me once I step out of this school. Despite this, I know the grandstand won’t ever stop playing a part with other people’s memories. God knows how many memories were made there since it was built. It just won’t stop for me, or you, or anyone else. The same goes for everything in Pisay – maybe our teachers will forget our names, our tambayan place will be taken by someone else’s group, our books will be passed on to the next batch and in the end we never really feel like we’ve left enough legacy. I may have vandalized "Bana was here" to some pages of the books (sorry), but who will even remember the person behind the name? Sure, we’re going to donate something to the school with the phrase “donated by batch 2013” written in gold letters but really, who will even remember who were in our batch after 4 years? 5? 10? 20? Who will remember about the batch who walked through the halls with their distinct voices echoing in every classroom? Who will remember the batch that jokingly asked a carabao for guidance to pass the UPCAT? Who will remember the batch who made the whole school painfully silent when a beloved batchmate passed away? Is batch 2013 just another batch to them? Am I just another student (rather, alumnus) to Pisay?
It is in human nature to be sad when we are not remembered by those who meant a great deal to us. In this case, we are not remembered by Pisay itself. And maybe, we just can't accept the fact that we are going to terribly miss a place that won’t even miss us back. So, it is through our small and insignificant legacies – the gum under the chair, the graffiti on the cubicle door and the numerous “someone was here” writings – that we forcibly try to be remembered.
We always knew we weren’t meant to stay in Pisay forever (and we may have even been excited to get the hell out of it). But then I realized, somehow it’s not really that important to be remembered by Pisay. Maybe the small legacies we bring to Pisay don’t really matter. Maybe what we bring to Pisay doesn’t matter quite as much as what we bring outside it.
It was then when I realized that the greatest legacy we can give to Pisay is ourselves.
Once we step out of this school after graduation, we will forever be expanding the four walls of Pisay through our different paths. Many of us are going to be scientists, engineers, doctors, architects, researchers, or maybe even artists, photographers, etc. In the process of achieving our dreams and aiming for excellence, we are justifying everything that Pisay has done for us. Maybe this is what Pisay wanted - for us not to worry about leaving legacies within the four walls of the classroom but rather for us to reach out to the outside world and be the living legacy this country ultimately deserves. The gums under the chairs, the vandals on the walls, or even the smeared paint (caused by our countless school projects) on various parts of the school, will be nothing compared to the people we are going to be in the future. Besides, our teachers never failed to remind us that we were all destined to become something great, and it is through this greatness that we leave a legacy worth remembering.
We are, afterall, walking legacies (still and forever will be) in pursuit of a glorious thee.”
- Rosa Silvana T. Bascuna (Batch 2013)
Please forgive me for my inaccuracies, errors in grammar, disorganization, whatsoever. Special thanks to Luke Magsanoc for proof-reading this!
Just because people just had their baccalaureat mass at UST yesterday, I felt the need to post some pictures! For throwback's sake! :)) Photo taken by yours truly.
NGAYON LANG NAGSINK-IN SAKIN NA NAGKABATCH REUNION KAMI.
At na mahirap nang maipon ang batch nang ganun uli, maliban nalang sa legit reunion many years from now. :( Di pa ko nakakapagpapirma sa lahat ng tao! Can we have a fansigning event soon please? :))
That aside, I wanna tell everyone how much I love our batch, even though I didn't actively participate today and just enjoyed the brownies LOL
It was like we never graduated, never got separated, never even let a day pass without seeing each other. I appreciate how we looked and acted like how we always do when we guys are together. Every flag ceremony, every batch congress, every day of the week for the past four years, we have been yolo-ing and ajuwah-ing together and I just want to say that I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. I stand by my wish to marry the whole batch if I could.
Please let's have a reunion again soon, where hopefully everyone could come and take a batch picture again.
