The Gift of Hope
Day 2 of 2022's 31 Days of Ficmas @doctorroseprompts Prompt: hope Rating: T (mild - language) Pairing: 10xRose (AU) Summary: On the worst day of Rose Tyler's life, she discovers that once you've hit rock bottom, the only place you can go is up. You just need a little hope, and helping hand. 2022 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist AO3
As a generalization, James loved people. Talking to them, hearing their stories, and he particularly loved getting to know his customers. He’d always found wonder in other people, and owning a café had done nothing to dull that- though he did sometimes worry about the nation’s average level of intelligence.
Waiting patiently for Maggie to decide between a macchiato and an espresso (which would inevitably be an espresso; it always was, and always a struggle for her to commit to it), his eyes drifted to his favorite customer, and he frowned at what he found. She was in the back corner at a table for two, head down on her arms, and visible even from all the way across the shop, her shoulders were shaking.
Is she crying? Why?
He didn’t, strictly speaking, know anything about her, even her last name – but she’d been coming in most days for a good six months now, and they’d easily fallen into a cheerful, if flirty, bit of banter.
“You know what, let me try the macchiato,” Maggie finally said, tearing his eyes back to her.
“Really?” I think the world’s about to end.
The woman bit her lip, looked from one menu board to the other, then shook her head. “No, give me the espresso. Maybe next time.”
Crisis averted. Earth is safe! he thought sarcastically, and only felt a tiny bit bad about thinking such a thing about a steady paying customer. “Coming right up.”
Having never made a drink so fast in his life, he handed it over in record time before calling over his shoulder, “Sally, I’m taking a break.”
“Okay!”
Plating a double chocolate muffin he stepped out from behind the counter, winding his way through the shop with only minimal interruptions, focus solely on the pretty blonde whose smile did awful things for his blood pressure. Only once he stopped at the table did his brain catch up, realizing he had no real way to approach her – he could hardly tap her on the shoulder, so he settled for clearing his throat; and when that didn’t work, he coughed.
Still nothing.
Rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck, wondering if this was a mistake, he sighed and said, “Cough cough.”
The blonde head slowly raised, normally brown eyes red rimmed and befuddled met his, horror growing over her splotchy face. “Oh, God, I’m sorry, please don’t kick me out-”
“Eat something.” He all but dropped the muffin on the table in front of her, shuffling side to side.
“I didn’t order this.”
“I know.”
They stared at each other as she blinked rapidly. “Oh… kay. Thanks?” She glanced down at it, the barest twitch at the corner of the mouth showing it was a solid choice. “Erm, why?”
“Can I…” James gestured to the seat across from her, waiting until she nodded to slide into it. “Look, I don’t mean to pry, but I think a flood of tears might land me in trouble with health and safety,” he tried to joke. “D’you want to talk about it?”
The woman flushed, shaking her head. “I’m the world’s biggest moron is all, and the universe has decided to make sure I know it.” Chewing on her lower lip, she tore off a small piece of the muffin and popped it in her mouth. “’S good, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He glanced around the shop, making sure they weren’t being watched, before asking, “Is there anything I can do to help? Are you in some sort of trouble?”
She choked on another bite of the muffin, causing a coughing fit, but when he went to stand she waved him off, taking a long pull off of her tea – peppermint, which wasn’t her usual, but made sense if she was in some sort of distress. “You could say that,” she scoffed, then studying him in a way that made him feel he was being evaluated, and he tried to look as trustworthy as possible with little idea how to functionally accomplish such a thing.
“I’m, well…” her gaze dropped, picking at the muffin without eating it. “God, I’m stupid. I’m not just in some sort of trouble, I’m… in trouble. Trouble trouble. The sent away to help an elderly relative for six months type of trouble.”
Not understanding her meaning he just waited, making a vague noise of commiseration.
Looking up again he must have looked lost, because she groaned. “In other words, I’m up the duff and my boyfriend- well, ex, now, I s’pose- left tire marks behind he bailed so fast.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say, his heart dropping even as his head scolded him. Her life is dramatically changing and you’re upset you lost out on a date you never really planned on asking for? “He’s a shitstain.”
“He really is,” she surprisingly agreed, laughing a bit. “He really, really is, and the worst part is, my mother warned me.” Her lower lip trembled. “She warned me and warned me, but I knew better. Joke’s on me, I guess. Fuck, she’s gonna kill me.”
He had nothing to offer but a napkin, which she used to dab at her eyes then blow her nose.
“And, ‘cause of my own general lack of self-observation and calendar-keeping, I don’t really have any choices. And the irony is, based on the timing, he probably did this to me when I tried to leave and he talked me into staying – and then disappeared on me the second he found out! Wanker. An’ now here I am cryin’ to you about it, an’ I just… God, I wanna die.” Her face crumpled, but she breathed deeply, opening her eyes again to his horrified face. “Oh, no, I’m not gonna- I just mean in the- fuuuck, I can’t get anything right these days.” She scrubbed her hands over her face. “I’m not a threat to myself or anyone else, I just wanna go back six months and kick myself in the arse.”
“I get it,” he offered, then tentatively put his hand face up on the table. “And for what it’s worth, I think how you’re feeling is probably normal and understandable. No judgement here.”
“Thanks.” She smiled at him, and though it was dull and wan, it was genuine. “I just dumped all that on you when you were trying to be nice. Sorry.” Hesitantly, she put her hand in his, heat searing through him at her touch.
James shook his head. “I’m glad you felt you could trust me with it, at least on some level.”
A whistle from the other side of the shop caught his attention, startling him; he’d almost forgotten about the rest of the world. Flashing Sally a sign for five more minutes, he waited for her eyeroll and thumbs up before turning his attention back to the woman. “Wait, why’d you say it like that?”
“Say what?”
“‘You’, like there’s something specific about me that makes me bad to confide in, or something.”
The woman flushed, eyes going wide before dropping to the crumbled muffin. “Nothing, it wasn’t…” She groaned, shook her head, then said, “My boyfriend- ex- he thought I was cheating on him, ‘cause projection, and he thought… I mean… ‘cause I come in here so much…”
“Is that so?” Occasionally, James had had to deal with angry men who thought the same because of his apparently overly-friendly attitude, but never had the jealousy provoked such delight in him. “Really?”
“Shut up,” she said, but it was half-hearted at best, accompanied by a tiny grin. “He’s a prick and a moron, remember?”
“How could we be having an affair though?” he asked reasonably. “I don’t even know your name.”
“I’m Rose, Rose Tyler.”
“Rose Tyler,” he repeated, loving the way it felt on his tongue, how it rolled over his soul and filled him with warmth. “Lovely to meet you, Rose Tyler.”
She smiled, then raised her eyebrow in expectation – and when the silence stretched between them, she prompted, “And you are…”
“Right! James. Noble. At your service.”
“Oi!” Sally’s voice carried across the room, and when he glanced in her direction, grimaced at the line snaking from the register to the door.
“Shit. I’ve got to…” he gestured, and she- Rose- nodded.
“No, yeah, of course, sorry to keep you.”
Standing, he shook his head. “No, no, don’t say that, I’ve loved talking to you, I just gotta… Don’t leave, okay? I’ll be back.” With a parting smile he hustled away before anything stupid could come out of his mouth, like I love you, or I’ll raise a baby with you, or marry me.
Too soon. Way, way, way too soon. Probably haven’t got a shot in hell now anyway.
And he deserved it, he supposed, taking orders and clearing the line as quickly as he could without being (too) rude, almost obsessively checking to be sure she hadn’t left. You could’ve said something to her at any point, but you waited too long and lost your chance. Always the coward.
-
The longer Rose sat at her small table, picking at the muffin and sipping her cold tea, the stupider she felt – which was impressive, given how low she’d been when she walked in.
It’s probably for the best that I never made a move on him anyway, she rationalized. I was probably already pregnant when I first realized I liked him; it would have been too complicated. I was too proud to end things with Jimmy, and this is my just desserts. Only shame is this poor baby’s gotten dragged into this now.
It still didn’t feel real; twenty-four hours earlier her only worry had been that the nurse wouldn’t believe she’d tripped over the damn cat - which was the truth, at least this time. Now Jimmy was gone, and he’d left her a going-away present that felt like a noose and she had this great responsibility hanging over head; how far along she’d gotten without realizing only made it worse. So much for the weight being all those chips.
“Sorry, sorry,” James apologized, sliding back into the chair across from her.
“No, I totally understand, it’s fine,” she shook her head, gathering her things. “I’ve taken up way too much of your time as it is.”
“Don’t go!” His eyes wide he caught her hand, but immediately dropped it. “I mean, obviously you can leave it you want, but… don’t? Please?”
Bottom lip caught between her teeth, Rose hesitated. What are you doing? You are the last person in the world who should be considering any kind of new relationship, and he deserves better than the fuck-up that you are. Despite her better judgement, she sat back down.
They stared at each other across the table, and Rose wondered what was going through his mind, because certainly nothing appropriate or rational was occurring in hers.
“Would you like to have dinner with me?”
Whatever she’d been expecting, it wasn’t that, and she blinked stupidly at him. “You understand I’m pregnant, right? Baby on board? Soon to be accompanied by a tiny, screaming overlord? And I’m not… I mean, I might’ve considered my options if I’d known sooner, but… I am keeping it.” She hadn’t honestly made the decision yet, but as the words escaped, it felt right. I’m keeping it. Oh fuck, I’m gonna be a mum!
“I bet you’ll be a great mum,” he said warmly. “You’ve got this kindness about you- you’ll be wonderful. And I’m not asking you to marry me, just to spend a little time together. I… I’ve fancied you for a bit, to be honest, and I’m sorry if this is inappropriate or unwanted, but… well, if nothing else, you should know that just because your wanker of an ex doesn’t want you, doesn’t mean you’re, y’know, unwantable. It says more about him than it does you.”
You’re being stupid, the voice in her head said, but as it sounded a bit like Jimmy, she decided to ignore it. Not like this one could get me pregnant or anything, she snickered to herself. “I am seriously craving chips.”
A smile bloomed across his face, making his already handsome visage positively gorgeous. “Then chips it’ll be. We close in forty-five; does that work?”
“I’ll wait.”
They exchanged giddy smiles, and this time when he returned to the counter, she watched his bum as he walked away. Good smile, nice bum. Check and check!
-
Thirteen weeks later James sat in the rocking chair, holding the tiniest, most precious girl he’d ever seen, unable to stop marveling over her. At only an hour old she’d already settled into the world, content to doze in his arms as he kept counting her fingers.
“Still ten?” Rose’s voice was drowsy but warm, and he tore his eyes away from the baby to smile at her.
“Hey, mama. How you feeling?”
She yawned, shifted, and grimaced. “Like I got fucked by dynamite without any lube, and it exploded and took my bits with it. How’s she doing?”
“Absolutely beautiful. Perfect, and strong, and a champ, just like her mummy.” Standing carefully, he padded over to her hospital bed and settled on the edge. “Want to hold her?”
“Mhmm.” Rose accepted the baby onto her chest, who snuffled but settled quickly at the skin-to-skin contact. “You’re right, she’s perfect.” They admired her together, the peaceful, sleeping expression, the delicate fingers peeking out from the swaddling blanket.
James’ heart had never felt so full, so deeply in love with the newborn already – and her mother. “She’s gonna need a name.”
“And a father.” Rose didn’t lift her head to meet his startled gaze. “I’m not suggesting putting you on any paperwork or anything – not now at least – but… I’d like you to have the role. If you want it.”
He was wrong; his heart felt so full and heavy he was amazed it wasn’t dragging on the floor. “It would be the greatest honor of my life.” He reached out, cupping the baby’s head tenderly, swiping his thumb over her cheek. “I’ll love her and protect her with my life.” He looked at Rose. “And her mother.”
They kissed tenderly, mindful of the precious bundle between them and Rose’s own tender state.
“But what’s her name?”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” Rose’s gaze returned to her daughter, love shining through the exhaustion and lingering pain. “And… I think I know what it is now. And it’s the gift you gave me, on one of the darkest days of my life.”
“What’s that?”
Rose smiled down at the baby. “Hope,” she said softly. “When she and I were alone in the world, abandoned, you gave me hope that the future could be bright and happy. Her name is Hope Sophia Tyler.”
“It’s perfect,” James smiled. “A perfect name for a perfect little girl. And I hope she will always know how precious and loved she is.”
Her- their- daughter’s soft cry interrupted their kiss, but they just laughed, and James stroked the baby’s cheek, soothing her. “I’m sorry Hope, you have our full attention, I promise. I love you.” He choked up, hardly daring to say words. “Daddy loves you, so, so much.” Tears pricking at his eyes, not caring if they fell, he met Rose’s loving gaze. “Both of you.”
“And we love you.”
And so, on a warm spring morning, they became a family of three, full of hope for the future.
And it was beautiful.