Alright m’dears, I was NOT expecting my job’s busy season to be beating my ass as much as it is. I’ve been doing 12-hour shifts and weekends for the past two-ish months.
While I can’t promise a lot of activity until closer to summer, have this Hank blurb I did on some of my breaks to tide y'all over. And I'll be poppin' in more to answer some asks and stuff, but don't expect anything novel-length for now lol. (But you are free to request second parts, still, ofc.)
🩸Random Hank Blurb🩸
<TW: Yandere, General Obsessiveness>
Hank is not experienced in romance at all, to any degree. He had never thought about what it would be like to be with someone, whether it be in a relationship or in a more physically intimate way. And there’s no reason why he would; most others were completely pathetic and not worth his time anyway (outside of slaughter), so he didn’t pay anyone much notice. Until you, that is.
You make him feel weird. The warmth that bubbles in him when he sees you is different from anything he’s ever felt before; the want to protect and shower you with his affections is mixed with a deep craving for anything and everything related to you. Ordinarily he’d despise anyone for daring to make him snap out of his usual bloodlust-ridden haze (it wasn’t exactly good for his job), but he couldn’t help but like the new sensation of…hunger.
In the beginning, this foreign need for you was fine for him on its own. In a way, it mimicked his bloodlust; limitless, a constant hunger that he felt could never be sated. It was bearable. Until it wasn’t. And Hank was never restrained in anything, and as it turns out, least of all you.
His instincts demand you; your touch, your presence, the feel of your breath on his skin and the weight of your gaze on him. In horror, in revulsion, in glee, in lust; at the start, it doesn’t matter in the slightest which version greets him. It’s still you either way, not like he cares. Hank J. Wimbleton isn’t a grunt that ever had to give a damn about those menial things. Well, until he started to.
Suddenly, the very same things that excited him when it came to any other grunt began to have the opposite effects. The most memorable, familiar images of your fear, the way you’d shake when he’d approach, the disgust at the blood he was soaked in more often than not, it failed to be entertaining. No, worse, it gave him pause.
He caught himself mid-step at flinches from you whenever he got near. He watched how your breath stiffened, and your chest grew stiller, and the way your eyes shifted to each exit whenever you saw him. You’re clearly expecting that it might be the day he decides not to mercifully spare you (Nevada doesn’t exactly provide much hope that way). And for those brief seconds in time, Hank J. Wimbleton felt something achingly close to discomfort.
That irritates him. You irritate him. He should enjoy you being scared of him, but in those flickers, all he felt was this odd sinking in his gut vaguely similar to being stabbed with a poison-coated combat knife. He felt bad when he saw that flicker of your gaze like you were his prey; that rot built in behind his teeth where ordinarily there'd be indifference, or that craving for violence. He was repulsed when he saw himself through your eyes.
Needless to say, this is entirely foreign to him. But he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t try to test how far this went; to cure himself of this unnecessary weakness caused by your opinions. And if that means forcing your fear away, he’d figure out how; Hank is nothing if not tenacious, after all. He’d fought his way through worse than some simple stinging at the looks on your face.
Meanwhile, you’d learn that the only thing potentially worse than Nevada’s most wanted killer obsessed with your attention is one that wants the good of it and can’t accept settling with the bad.
Please oh dear writer, Hank x GN Reader x 2Bdamned? Snuggling time for each of them then all together, please. 🙏🏼
Nevada's best
Oh man I missed writing for madcom so much I'm about to Markiplier leap onto you. Both hc's and written scenarios because I had no idea how else to do them separately? Forgive me.
Hank
Hank is a big and awkward feller when it comes to the concept of cuddling. He doesn't fear violence but when it comes to you they are somewhat scared to crush you so you usually snuggle in a position which allows them to gently press your face into his chest or the other way around, and its one of the only times they will take their goggles off and slip their mask down in order to feel your skin against theirs, its something incredibly precious to him.
He enjoys your scent A LOT so if you allow them to nuzzle into your neck there's no way you're ever getting that space back until you have to get up. Kisses and little nibbles ensue. Oh and hey speaking of necks he absolutely adores hiding your face in the crook of his, he doesn't care what you do so you have free reign from there but he loves the difference in muscle and height between you two.
They're down to snuggle at the most random of times, at two in the morning on the couch or at 5 in the afternoon in a proper bed, or well whatever classifies as a proper bed in Nevada these days, and prefers positions where you lay on your sides.
Back to the topic of skin to skin, if you're not as big and rough of a fighter as he is he adores taking your hand in his once you're asleep and seeing the size difference between them, along with the contrast of your skin textures, his is much more stiff and rough considering his work consists of using his hands a lot, so they like looking at the difference and it reminds them the reason they don't throw themselves into danger as much anymore.
_ - _ - _ - _ - _
After a particularly rough day Hank kneeled between your legs, their head resting against your thigh as your fingers carefully ran over his scalp over the bandana, careful to not put pressure on any fresh stitches or injuries. You two were content in the comfortable silence between you, it was their way of winding down after a mission, alone time with you and just sitting still for once. His body screamed for him to move all the time, always in danger, he tried to hide his legs bouncing, kneeling on them to still them as he nuzzled your thigh, taking in your scent. He pushed his goggles up and over his bandana, placing them on the makeshift nightstand you had next to your sofa-bed that was almost always extended, resting his cheek against the side of your leg and looking up at you, taking you in without the red from his goggles that he wore almost all the time, you began humming a slow tune, closing your eyes when you felt warm metal against your thigh. "Hank." You spoke up, still keeping your voice quiet as you looked down to see him with their jaw open, prepared to bite down, a gentle tap on his forehead reminded him to be patient, his jaw closing around thin air rather than your skin this time. Grumbling as he stood up, strong hands placing themselves under your arms and laying you back on the bed. They threw off their coat, impatient as he practically jumped into bed, pulling you into him as he shoved his face into your neck, letting a sound akin to a cat who is annoyed but enjoying the attention, not wanting to admit it. Grunts are weird.
2BDamned / Doc
Doc is a difficult cookie, constantly busy reviving his team and having his house raided by the AAHW even though Hank no longer cohabits with him (or well, didn't co habit with him until you appeared and they needed a safe space for you). Anyways back to the point, he doesn't have a lot of free time on his hands so he's very tired most of the time, but it means he's extra soft and cuddly when you finally convince him to rest for once, but be aware you have limited time to drag out the sweetness in the situation as he will fall asleep from the slightest comfortable position.
Snuggling happens on the bed, not the couch, you both need space to be comfortable or otherwise he'll just turn even more grumpy and begin complaining. He prefers to lay on top of you rather than under you when finally in bed, allowing you to unclip his mask and run your fingers over scalp and through his hair, he practically melts under your touch, mumbling sleepy nonsense as he places kisses over your clothed torso or gently pulling down your hands to kiss your palm.
When he wakes up or comes to snuggle you out of his own will (OLD MAN INTITIATING AFFECTION ALERT SOUND THE HORNS) he loves to begin with burying his face in your stomach, kissing the skin there before working it up to your lips and then embracing you.
_ - _ - _ - _ - _
You'd almost forgotten his face from behind his mask. You found these moments precious between you when he finally took his mask off, or well when he was heading to bed at a time when he was still conscious enough to remember he had it on still. You laid in bed, pillows under your head and stitched-up covers pulled up to your waist, the material brushing against the back of his neck as he laid atop of you partially, face hidden in your stomach. Your fingers ran through his hair, subtly checking if he was still awake, and awake he was, proven by him tilting his head to look up at you almost as if to confirm to himself that it was indeed you here with him. He let out a sigh a bit heavier than the last few before putting more weight onto you, relaxing into your touch. "Where's your brush hun?" You asked, knowing 2BDamned was internally groaning at the nickname as he pointed to a cardboard box next to the bed, thankfully you managed to feel it out without having to get up for both of your sakes. You ran the bristles of the brush through his hair, accidentally pulling a little too hard earning a scrunch of his nose against your skin, you mumbled an apology and took a more careful approach. After some time you congratulated yourself for taming his wild hair from his lack of care for it even though he insisted on keeping it, you ran your fingers through it a few times and were about to speak up when you heard a snore from the man resting on your stomach and decided against making noise, setting down the brush and resting your head back, slipping into slumber knowing your workaholic partner was finally resting too.
Both combined
Its odd, since its likely you're shorter than them and there is a height gap between them, but your beloveds make it work! The most used position for snuggling with them both at the same time is Hank laying on the bed with you laying your head on his chest and your body between his legs, belly up as doc rests his head on it, his legs curled as to not have them dangling off the bed that's already massive because of Nevada's slender man over there tut tut.
Out of the three of you, Doc falls asleep the fastest, leaving you and Hank awake for a bit before you fall asleep, with Hank falling asleep somewhere between then and you waking up, I'm convinced that they do not have a good sleep schedule.
Upon waking up they both love exchanging kisses, smothering you and themselves. 2BD is the first to get up to make you two a cup of coffee (Hank isn't allowed any) while Hank takes time to adjust your clothing and help you change into gear if you're lucky enough to have spare clothes to use as PJ's.
_ - _ - _ - _ - _
"Hank, stop moving." 2BDamned complained as he slipped into bed where you and Hank were already shimmying under the covers as the overly energetic merc was still full of energy somehow even after a whole chain of back to back combat on his last mission which lasted over a few days. Hank did whatever the grunt equivalent of rolling your eyes without any visible eyes is before finally laying still, letting the so called doctor of the group reapply gauze and bandages to his injuries so that none of you woke up to one of his wounds bleeding all over you or one opening back up. Even if you weren't injured, 2BDamned still carefully checked over you every time, his hands carefully turning and moving your body to make sure there were no hidden injuries or aches and only once he was 100% sure you were clean he'd let himself rest. He waited patiently as Hank settled you atop of them, laying your back against their chest as Doc climbed into bed, laying his masked face on your stomach before remembering to peel it off, laying it on the night stand next to the pile consisting of Hank's mask, bandana and goggles. He paused, thinking about something but his thoughts quickly vanished as your warm hand cupped the side of his face, your thumb gently caressing the tired skin under his lower eyelid. He never had anyone hold him like this before, especially after the wounds on his cheeks appeared. He closed his eyes for a moment, lowering his head and only opening his eyes back up when he was comfortably resting. The sight of one of Hank's arms loosely draped over your form while they busied themselves pressing as-soft-as-a-metal-jaw-gets kisses into your shoulder and neck and you looking down at him with a smile was enough to reassure him that this was okay, that this was something he could allow himself to enjoy for once instead of constantly stressing about survival of his crew even when all of them where home safe. All three of you slept soundly that night, leaving worried of survival and the next plan against the A.A.H.W to be tomorrows issue.
(Also the last human alive fic is discontinued cause i got too lazy and maybe i didn't like the idea no more)
So when it comes to reader I always like to think how they would fit in madness combat especially for human reader cause how would they survive? Since the sun is dead
Sun being gone, oxygen is definitely gone now, so their must be something keeping the human alive?
So what if the human was never born in madness combat but... hear me out what if the human was a astronaut think about
Maybe a,scenario like this:
Human reader going to be the first human to go to a unknown planet thats far away from their solar system.
They were assigned to Simply test if this planet is habitable enough to live in but of course thing go wrong the ship fails like every cliche movie, and now reader is stuck on this planet.
How would reader meet the main four or other characters like jebus or auditor, maybe even the sheriff? Maybe from the SOS signal that was specifically for there people and not them. Or another way maybe reader crash into their city or maybe auditor or phobos were the ones who shot the ship.
Not only that.
Like imagine how terrifying it must be for grunts to see a astronaut especially the suit, for us it looks goofy or cool but for grunts? Probably the most traumatizing shit they ever seen and dont get me started on face reveal, imagine seeing reader face boy oh boy they be running up the hills and screaming for help and may even bring the entire army at their ass
Even funnier if the grunts are in their canon design.
hey, mind doing the main 4 dissenters with a fem! Arena combat protag Dissenter s/o who after she went on a mission to rescue her siblings (a male magiturge who is her triplet brother, her other triplet who is a another but normal male grunt, and her younger sisters which one is a fugitive patient and other is a normal female grunt) and successfully managed to save them ;
she also managed to save some 9 cute lil baby gruntlings who had become fluffy grunts due to a harmless failure on the cloning process : and there’s 5 normal gray ones (3 boys and 2 girls (and 1 boy is an attempt to clone 2b, the other boy is an attempt to clone Sanford, and one of the gray girls and the 3rd gray boy are a attempt to clone Deimos, and the last gray who is female is a attempt to clone s/o) ; a melanistic boy (another failed attempt to clone Sanford), and a albino female and her 2 siblings a boy and a girl who were meant to be gray but are fully hairless and these last 3 are an attempt to clone Hank …
how they would react on seeing their s/o adopting these lil fluffy babies?
Whoops, sorry it took so long bruv. Some of it is a little rushed because otherwise I'd never put it out but I hope you like it anyway
Main 4 x arena protag reader with family
---------------------------
Hank
• You know him. If you need a hand on the sibling rescue, or a petty revenge against your ex-agency, or any operation, call them, you'll have all ennemies mowed down within the hour.
• He might do the petty revenge part without you even asking, actually.
• Wow those are a LOT of kids. He honestly doesn't really know what to do. They were never a social guy, let alone a family man! Nonetheless, they'll try their best to give your family all of the attention, affection, and occasional roughhousing they need.
• Doesn't have much of a reaction about the cloning failures, but he most definitely has a reaction when it comes to petting them. Even the most wanted man in Nevada loves cute soft tiny things, and anytime he's not delivering death en masse, or getting patched up, or getting yelled at by allies and ennemies alike, he's with you and your family, relaxing for the first time in forever and letting the little fluffies bite and scratch at his fingers.
• Speaking of biting and scratching, he will 100% train both the fluffies and your siblings for fighting, which isn't that bad of an idea... though his methods are a bit unorthodox. You just have to tell him that maybe throwing the grunts at people so they can eat them only works for the tiny ones.
• Even if his muscle control has been hindered by all the physical damage he's taken, he can be shockingly gentle for a man who could effortlessly crush a skull. You had already spent enough time with him to know that, but your siblings and coworkers had to get used to letting him pick up the fluff balls, afraid he would crush them just by holding them a little too hard.
• He's quite nonchalant about the DNA thing too, as this isn't the first time the AAHW has tried cloning him. Though he tilts his head up a little when he learns one of them was derived from you.
• Once, you found him crouching and staring at his not-so-fluffy clones before pointing at them.
"Haha. Bald. Shouldn't have taken genes from the bald guy, stupid."
"Hank!"
• Once he learns about the time loop you're in, and the additional burden on your shoulders it represents, you get to see a much softer side of him. They know what it's like to be dragged along a deadly ride you can't get off, but the mandatus, or whatever it's called, almost disturbs him. It even messes with their view of 2BDamned a little, even with the decades they've known eachother for.
• They didn't think the idea of people close to him going through existensial horrors would be this unpleasant, but alas there he is. He first noticed that he didn't like it when he was hanging out with your fugitive sister and magiturge brother, witnessing all the weirdness and horrors they have to think about on the daily.
• He had a very hard time coming to terms with his affection for you and your family.
Sanford
• Thankfully for you, Sanford works well as a family man, and while it's very overwhelming at first, he quickly gets used to taking care of the fluffies. You can expect quality dinners and lots of bear hugs.
• He also works even better as a brawn & brains mass murderer, so expect the operation to go smoothly.
• He has a habit of worrying for you and your siblings, especially the younger and more vulnerable ones. He's very protective once one gets close to him.
• He bought skin protection products for the bald little ones, and generally cares to make sure the fur of the rest is well kept, clean and mat-free. It's though work but hey, at least he learns how to take care of everyone's hair as a result.
• However one hair style he didn't have to learn to handle was the one on his clones. He first felt a little uncomfortable at the idea of these things he takes care of being exactly like him, he can even spot aspects of his own personnality in them sometimes, though maybe that's because he spends so much time with them... But as you two work toghether to give them a better life than they had in the labs, he starts to see them in a much better light, almost as if they were you two's kids, a thought that makes him blush just a little.
• He's had some... discussions, about the Mandatus and all that crap with you and your siblings, especially your magiturge brother since they would know the most. Whether you tell him directly or not is up to you, but even if you didn't he would probably be able to figure out some of what's going on.
• It's disturbing to say the least. To know that someone you love has to vanish into the void to live eternally in the worst way possible. He knows it's for the good of Nevada (which actually makes it feel even more cruel and unfair that this is the only way) but it'd be hard not to feel bad about it, especially when he now has to take care of all the family you had to leave behind. Once he learns about all this, he'll try to spend as much time toghether as possible, because if for him it'll only feel like one loop, might as well make it worth it.
Deimos
• When he learned you needed help on a rescue mission he was ON. He's dissented before, so have you, these dorks don't mean anything. At least until you told him about your family, and how this was to rescue them. The idea of someone in Nevada having a real family had never passed by his mind until now, but he notheless is even more ready to go do this with you. Learning about how they got taken away from you pisses him off.
• Though, he was already shocked to learn about how many siblings you had, so imagine his surprise when all of you came back with an abundance of fluff in your arms(?).
• Maker help this man he does NOT know how to take care of himself, let alone a family. You'll find him poking and prodding the fluffies, ever so slightly grossed out every now and then, waiting for you to give him advice on what to do with them. He likes to observe you when you're taking care of them, fascinated and impressed at how much better than him you are at it, he'll definitely oogle about that to you later.
• Eventually though, he will warm up to everyone. You'll start to see him regularly have fun with your buds, playing games with them, or taking them out to do something slightly less responsible. Yeah, hope you're more mature with the lads than he is, otherwise it's gonna be a hellish birthday party of a family.
• It feels real weird for him to hold a piece of...his flesh? Would it be correct to call it that? It's what parents call their children after all, and that often implies some sort of genetic relation. Point is, it's funky. He had been subjected to experiments from the AAHW himself, but it had never crossed his mind that they could still have some of his DNA stored somewhere. Makes him wonder what else they could have about him...
• Definitely the most likely to tease you about expanding the family. Reciprocate though, and you'll see him lose his cool for a fraction of a second before he doubles down.
2BDamned
• When you came to him about a special operation, separate from S.Q matters, you already had his attention. Mention an endangered family and you've got his intrigue. While he may not help you directly, you definitely would not have been able to save them without his planning, hacking skills, and shared knowledge of how the agency operates, so you can all thank him for that. Though he isn't the type to ask for or care about gratitude.
• Incredibly interested in the clones. It's not every day you get your hands on specially failed AAHW projects. Well, it is everyday for him, but not with this kind of failed project. When you brought back the experiment files, he locked himself in his room for at least a few hours to analyze everything avout them and where they could have gotten the DNA. This is important information if S.Q wants to keep itself as secretive as possible.
• It left you by yourself with your newly adopted... things for a moment, that of which he hadn't really realized would now be part of his daily life until he came back out and you rightfully scolded him for it. At least you had/have the other S.Q members to help you out, plus 2B now.
• He got way more overwhelmed than he'd like to admit with the gruntlings. He was trying so hard to come up with a structured planning on how to take care of them while keeping his work-life balance slightly less skewed towards work, but it becomes hard to focus when he's got all these creatures scratching and biting around for his attention. But he'll become a great fluff dad soon enough, especially when you're by his side.
• When he looks at you playing with or taking care of your family, he can't help but wonder: How many time loops have there been where you do the exact same thing? How many times did he have to take you away from them? He tries not to think about it too hard; it's for the sake of Nevada he tells himself, but somewhere inside of him, he wonders about all the timelines where you've done the same exact thing and left for the Nowhere, and a part of him already misses you, and not just on behalf of your family.
Hmmm, 2B x a reader who is super bubbly and sweet? Like grunts working with 2B sometime do double takes because reader is so kind and is dating their very strict boss.
Either hcs or a small story is fine
Omg yes!!!
2bdamned with bubbly and sweet Assistant!Reader
2bdamned still till this day doesn't know how he dated you. Every time he looks at you, he questions how you love him.
You're sweet and bubbly while he's cold-hearted and dull. Opposite attract really is real.
Deimos still tries to figure out how someone like you dated 2bdamned. Did you change him? Nope, he's still grumpy.
2bdamned is less rude with you, always telling you to do something and you do it, no questions asked. Unless you get lost.
The first time you met 2bdamned, you weren't sweet and bubbly. You were in your own personal space and mind.
But when he ordered you to do something, you smiled and kindly nodded. He didn't think about it until many days, and many times, he ordered you to do something.
He then starts to see how sweet you were and bubbly you are when around others. He didn't seem to like how kind you were it reminded him of Skinner.
But it didn't bother him. What bothered him was how you double your task and make him coffee, he's a favorite one too.
He thought you were some kind of spy. But you proven enough to make him know your not one, your just so innocent? No you also kill so that's not it.
He never understood you, how can someone like you exist??? Even the maker would question this.
That when you two start getting to know each other. He starts to try to understand you, and little by little he start growing feelings.
He hates how he ends up having these feelings, turning him into a tsundere. He tries to push you away, but that didn't last long.
But he then confesses his feelings, and to his surprise, you said yes(he was expecting a no)
Now that you're dating, it's time to explain how your relationship with him goes.
When you first began dating, he didn't show his affection until you two were alone. He likes his relationship to be private. He doesn't want anyone to find out he is dating you. He's has enemies, and it's best your relationship with him stays low and secretive.
He is still getting used to the whole dating thing, and sometimes he feels like he's not being one.
Also, his workaholic, don't be surprised when you see him in his office 24/7, don't even think about telling what to do he doesn't like following orders.
So, instead of ordering to stop, you help him finish his work faster so he can get some damn sleep.
One of the reasons why he loves you. He likes someone who helps him around rather than ordering him to do something.
When you're talking to someone, he gets jealous and orders you to do something. He's way, saying, "I'm jealous and you're not helping"
Dates? Coffee.
Give him this man a kiss where his cheeks used to be, and he would get flustered and go tsundere mood.
Bonus
If Hank were to find out about this, he would look for you and ask petty things. Why? Becasue he wants to piss 2bdamned off.
synopsis: your world is vastly different from the nevada native to madness combat. after the main three + 2bdamned get transported to your world, they each find things that fascinate them.
trigger warnings: ehh slight yandere/obsession but could also be read as super heavy pining if you're not into that lol
notes: madness combat fandom arise. madness combat fandom come back to me (also set in @/saltymongoose 's self-aware au)
For the sake of consistency, let’s imagine that the Player lives in a big, lonely, woodsy and plain-sy plot of land. There’s little to no outside human interaction, and lots of animals wandering through the area with a river running through it. For the wildlife, I’m basing it on the American South because I’ve lived here my entire life and know how they act.
SUNSETS & SUNRISES
2BDamned would be the most entranced, since he has the most memories from before the fall and before Hank killed the sun. He’s an early riser by nature (since his body has conditioned him so he’s mostly overworked and under-rested, as unhealthy as it is), so he leans more towards the beauty of a sunrise, towards the light that starts to paint the dark sky with hazy orange shades and rosy hues. He likes breathing in the crisp air and the way it almost sends a shock through his lungs.
But the sun stirs a lingering feeling of nostalgia, though, for the way things were before everything fell to madness. Doc tries his best not to let the thoughts get the better of him as you slip through the front door and out onto the front porch, carrying two steaming cups of coffee.
God, he could imagine staying like this forever: just you, him, a beautiful sunrise, and coffee. Surely the way you pay attention to him, the way you get up extra early to watch the sunrise, the way you doctor his coffee just right – they’re all examples of how you care for him, just as he cares for you. But for now, he’ll just bide his time, blowing the steam off the surface of his coffee and purring, soft and raspy, both at the taste and because of your company.
But that doesn’t stop the others from appreciating the astounding view at dusk, because Sanford and Deimos are more partial to sunsets after long days. They like lounging in the adirondack chairs set up around the fire pit, cracking open a few beers, and simply relaxing with you. (Don’t worry, Sanford will gather firewood and Deimos will set it alight if it’s a little too cold for your taste.)
They’re fresher clones, so they don’t remember the sun well, if at all. They both always go quiet when the sun starts to dip below the horizon. Sanford props his tea sunglasses on top of his head and Deimos sets his cigarette in the ashtray as they both stare at the way the light turns the clouds purple and paints the sky with pink streaks. It stirs something sad in your heart – both of these men are pushing and just over the cusp of thirty, yet they don’t know the simple sweetness of a sunset.
But as soon as night overtakes the sky, they both turn their attention back to you. Deimos makes some suave comment about your beauty being nothing in the face of a sunset in that rumbling, smooth voice of his, and Sanford gives him a pointed glare. Sanford points out that your beauty and the beauty of nature are two whole different things, but keeps showering you with not-so-inadvertent compliments, leaving you flustered and blushing from both grunt’s words.
Hank is somewhat of an anomaly with this one. All of the grunt’s biological clocks are absolutely porked from their time without a sun, but Hank’s affected the worst by far. (That, and he doesn’t really care for the sun. He literally slaughtered it.) Therefore, he’s more privy to waking up in the middle of the night and dragging you onto the roof to look at the stars.
He likes laying on his back with you on his chest, pointing out the brightest stars and asking you questions about them. (He doesn’t really care, he just likes hearing your voice.) He loves your vivid descriptions of the constellations and how you describe them in intricate ways. To Hank, they’re just sparkly, unreachable dots in the sky, but it seems like, to you, they’re beautiful: like millions of silver nails driven into a dome of dark blue velvet.
He savors the moments like these the most, when you’re alone with him. There’s no sound except for the crickets and dog-day cicadas and spring peepers and your voice and Hank’s sputtering purring. Honestly, it’s as it should be – without those other pesky dipshits ruining your time together. (Well, he can tolerate Doc, but that annoying extraction team could go fuck themselves for all he cared.)
ENTERTAINMENT
Sanford hates being lazy. He hates feeling like he’s not doing anything useful, even if he’s being useful by resting. The only real way to make him sit down and stop moving is by trapping him on the couch, laying your head in his lap, and turning on the TV. (Even if, for the first thirty minutes, he’s too focused on you and your body heat and how fast his heart is beating to even consider looking at the TV.)
But the thing he loves watching the most isn’t any sort of movie with amazing cinematography or show with riveting writing – it’s infomercials. Specifically, infomercials from the 90’s to the late 2000’s. He likes seeing what things could’ve been like if there was no madness in Nevada, because things are oddly peaceful (at least, to him) in your world. Billy Mays and Cathy Mitchell make him wonder about domestic life with you (even if the Jupiter Jack and the Xpress Redi-Set-Go are completely obsolete by now), and how these little gadgets would make your life together supposedly go smoother.
He likes combing his claws carefully through your hair as you both watch these people play up how useful these obviously useless inventions are. He tries to avert his eyes and act interested in the TV as you look up at him and point out how the Red Devil Grill was recalled because it got so hot it collapsed and caused fires, but can’t. He just can’t keep his eyes off you when you look up at him so sweetly, and can you blame him? You just make his face so warm and his heart beat so fucking fast…
Deimos has always had a fascination with electronics, but it’s mostly been from a tactical and weaponized standpoint. But he’s discovered (well, really, you introduced him to) video games. He absolutely loves curling up into your side, purring and providing commentary as he watches you play. (Because, despite his trying, he hasn’t really gotten a hang of the controls yet.)
He loves more story-fueled games with characters he can really get attached to. He likes investing himself in things and people that don’t actually affect him, because seeing your favorite character go through dire straits or even die hurts for a little while, but it’s nothing compared to seeing someone get eviscerated right in front of you. And, yeah, he totally cried when Arthur Morgan died (and totally played it up so that you’d comfort him).
He also likes draping himself over you in the middle of a boss fight, wriggling and nuzzling into your cheek, causing you to giggle, lose focus, and, obviously, die. He strings together half-hearted apologies through his raspy purring, but he’s not really sorry. More deaths means more time spent with him, and internally, he’s completely and honestly unapologetic for his underhanded tactics.
Due to the nature of his administrative role, Doc spends a lot of time in front of screens. He likes to unplug and unwind by reading, no doubt with a straight-up hazardous amount of coffee by his side. He prefers reading with you with an arm wrapped around your shoulder, whether you’re also reading or working on something else. Though he’s inexperienced (and sometimes even shy) with these types of things, he’s more than happy to ease into affectionate touches and romance that kills his common sense with you.
His tastes are often cheap, but when he earns enough dough, he likes to splurge on second-hand college anatomy textbooks. No, he’s not planning on going to university, but he wants to know the inner workings of the human system (and, therefore, the inner workings of you). He also likes speculative biology and seeing what humans think about other intelligent species potentially being out there.
He would absolutely be elated (though he tries his best to hide it) if you took his interests seriously and discussed them with him. He tries to keep you in his makeshift office and away from the others so you can continue to spend this precious alone time with him, but that doesn’t stop the red-hot flare of jealousy as one of the others bursts in with a childish ask about something that should be obvious. (Of fucking course you wouldn’t want to go for a walk, Deimos, have you seen the weather out? Leave you and him alone!)
Obviously Hank would love gorefest and splatter film movies because of his all-encompassing and absolute love for carnage, and he’d love them even more if you got scared and hid yourself in his shoulder or chest. It’s clear that he’s your strongest and most capable vessel, so he clearly agrees with your choice to choose him as your protector (even if that choice is based on an instinctive need to hide).
He also loves WWE and MMA fighting. When given the choice, he opts for MMA because it’s real and bloody and he prefers seeing people push themselves to their absolute limit rather than some predetermined fight that serves a higher storyline. (But, then again, he really likes the clip of Undertaker breaking into Paul Bearer’s house during an interview and throwing a cabinet at him because, what the fuck? He’s never thought of that before! Using things from the environment when out of weapons instead of his fists could be an improvement. Maybe he can learn a thing or two from these fake fighters…)
And, yes, if you give him access to Twitter he will turn your entire timeline into those backyard fight videos and dashcam car crashes. He doesn’t mean to, it just happens.
ANIMALS
Being a natural night owl, Deimos loves keeping a lookout for what critters come out at night. When he’s on the front porch with you, smoking a cigarette and waving away mosquitoes, he makes sure to keep an eye out for weird and unusual wildlife. (While pressed against your side and purring loudly, no doubt.)
He likes watching the whip-poor-wills swoop down and catch the moths that swarm around the overhead porch lights. Yes, he will try to catch one, but backs off when you tell him to. Instead, he opts for digging in the dirt to find beetles and grubs to toss up in the air for the small birds to catch. He will kinda feel bad if the beetles hit the ground but will continue to throw them to the birds when you tell him insects are basically immune to fall damage, so… no harm, no foul.
He’s also absolutely enamored by raccoons. He likes throwing food to them from the safety of the porch and watching them eat with their little grabby hands. He’s very reckless so, despite your warnings, he’ll try to squirrel one away inside the house. (He does this multiple times and, without fail, gets bitten each time. 2B has given him multiple rabies shots after shooing the raccoons out with a broom.)
Speaking of Doc, he enjoys going out in nature and finding decaying things just to see how many buzzards arrive. He excuses it with something about wanting to see if decomposition works the same across both your world and his, but he secretly finds some relation with the birds – something about being deliverers and arbiters and negators of death. (Though the last one really only applies to him.)
He also likes the rare sightings of wild horses. He’ll go out of his way to (carefully, shyly) rouse you from whatever you’re doing to go take a look at the majestic beasts, and he’ll be even more excited if there’s a foal wandering between the stocky legs of the adults.
He just barely brushes his fingers against yours as you both stand on the edge of the treeline and watch them graze. Seeing the foal break from the herd, kick out and tumble and fall over and immediately get back up sparks… something in his heart. A vision. Just you, just him, linked pinkies, and a future together, with this warm feeling in his chest.
Hank really likes the more dangerous creatures. He gets along well with cottonmouth and other venomous snakes (and “gets along well” really means that they’re mean as can be and strike as often as possible while he just holds them and smiles at you).
If you don’t keep a close enough eye on him, he’ll wander off and try to provoke larger animals, like bobcats. To him, they’re just tiny little pussycats, even if they pose a real threat and could kill him. Please don’t let him go too far, because if he comes across a bear, he will try to wrestle it, and Doc doesn’t like having to do emergency surgery on the island countertop in your kitchen.
On multiple occasions, he’s come back to the house after being missing for hours, reeking of skunk spray. He just purrs happily as you tell him to strip and hold still as you spray him down with the hose.
Sanford is way calmer with his interactions with wildlife. He likes sitting on the dock with you and watching the fish swim by (because he’s impressed both by the fish and by the river – he’s never seen water in such great quantity!) Set him up with a hook, lure, and line and he’ll be entertained for hours. Though he struggles a bit with making streamers and fishing knots due to his big hands and claws, he’s more than patient when you teach him (mostly because he gets to spend time with you).
When he’s fishing, he likes to look around and observe – mostly because fishing is a waiting game. His favorite visitors are herds of whitetail deer, especially when summer is in full swing and the fawns are ready to start exploring. They remind him of his family, mainly because of the way the does don’t really care which fawn is theirs, just that each is getting enough milk. You point at them and discuss them with him in small whispers because you don’t want to spook them.
Again, it reminds him of his want for a domestic life with you. Just basking in the mottled sun that seeps through the trees, dipping your bare feet in the cool river water as a catfish tugs on the line – it’s all he wants, really. Now if he could just get the rest of the grunts to leave you alone… excluding Deimos, of course.
I Will Poison All Your Happy Thoughts,I Will Love You Like The Ashes In My Cigarettes Buds
A stupid Deimos X reader fic.
Tags:Angst, Hurt/comfort,Hurt No Comfort,Implied sexual content,masochism,some implied sadism,gender neutral reader, relationship issues(?)
Notes:I posted this on AO3 and thought I would post it on her too,enjoy the shit show or do whatever.
How did this happen?
How did it end up like this?
You half naked and Deimos at your side fully clothed in bed.The smell of cigarettes,burnt tobacco and chemicals,it made you feel sick but it was comforting.The chainsmoker,gliding the damn cigarette across your back, marking you.
You can tell he was enjoying this,even though he was surprised at first that you wanted this.
You winced at the pain of the burn but relished on the pleasure of being marked by him and only him.
Then why did it hurt?Well more emotionally then physically.
You were a nice,a good person if you can call it that.You used to be a by the book person even after Nevada fell and became a kill or be killed wasteland,even if you did anything bad it was for your own survival.
Then you met Deimos.
Maybe it was your own fault for being involved with one of Nevada's most wanted mercenaries,but something about Deimos drawn you to him.
He was different. Carefree, unserious, a jokester with a smoke always between his fingers. You were the opposite. By the book. Structured. Controlled. Yet somehow, you worked. Somehow, you loved him and he loved you.
You two were an odd pair.
But you both made it work,you grew to love and care eachother.You jockingly said that you could “fix him” and he also found it funny.Did you sometimes take it seriously when you said that?Maybe? Only because you wanted him to quit his smoking because the smell was giving you a headache.
But over time, that joke “I could fix him” twisted into something darker on his part. “I can make you worse,” Deimos jockingly said with his raspy voice.
Every laugh you shared, every joke you made, felt like a tiny ember, burning away the innocence you had left. He was changing you.
Each passing day, Nevada’s chaos seeped into you. You weren’t just surviving anymore,you were becoming part of the mess, part of him. And you weren’t sure if you liked it… or if you feared it too late to stop.
Shit. You swipe at your face, but the tears still come.
“Sorry… I just—was thinking,” you say, sitting up, wincing as the burn on your back pulses.
“You want to stop? We can—” He sets the cigarette down.
“No! No… it’s just...fuck, just give me a minute,” you choke out, the tears flowing freely now.You sat, trying to control your tears your emotions this was supposed to be a passionate moment and your fucking ruining it with your crying.
You probably look so damn pathetic in his eyes.
“I’m fine,I'm fine...” you say too quickly, too quickly, words clipped and sharp. You force your hands into your lap, pressing them tight, trying to block out the sickening swirl of guilt, desire, and self-loathing. You cannot feel this, not now.
“No you aren't, you're shaking like a damn leaf in the wind just tell me what's wrong—”He almost takes your hand in his. You flinch away and take his hands away from yours.
“I said fucking I’m fine!” Your hands slam against your knees, a burst of frustration and shame all at once. “I don’t need your pity, Deimos! Just,just leave it!”
An awkward and tense silence fills the bedroom and he spoke his voice quieter this time “Did I do something wrong...?”
You felt immediate regret with yourself
“No it's just—I've just been thinking about us...”
“Well if it's about us then I must have done something wrong to make you feel like this—Please just tell me so I can fix it,please.”Deimos says his temper flaring with his words but his tone in the end turns into a desperate plea.
You finally find the words choking your chest,that made your heart ache, the lump in your throat heavier than any cigarette burn.
“I… I don’t know how to say this, without hurting you.” you whisper, voice trembling. “I don’t regret… us. I don’t regret loving you. But… I feel… wrong. Dirty. Like I’m not me anymore.”
Deimos felt stiffen,like his whole word crashing down,eyes narrowing,fingers tightening on the sheets.“I… I didn’t mean… I didn’t want this—fuck. What did I do?”
You hear your heart pound in your ears, seeing him like this made you feel worse than you already are.“I-It’s not that I regret us. I love you, Deimos. I just… I feel like you’ve… changed me. Made me worse.”
You see so many emotions flash in his face guilt, regret and anger.And suddenly he's out of bed pacing at the side of the bed. “Made you worse?!” His voice is harsh, shaking. “I… I thought you wanted this! I thought we were fine!?I thought you were fine,and I thought I was fine—”
“Stop!” you cut him off, voice sharp, almost pleading. “Stop talking. Stop saying you didn’t mean it. Just… just listen!”
He stops his pacing,his hand fell to his side and a long tense silence stretches the bedrood.Then he speaks, quieter now, almost a growl of self-loathing “God… I hate that I made you feel like this. I hate that… I can’t fix this. That I can’t fix you.”
Your body feels like it’s unraveling, every nerve screaming. Without thinking, without planning, you let your head fall against his shoulder, letting the heat and weight of him anchor you.
He tenses at first, rigid as steel, before slowly wrapping an arm around you.
Not a word. Not a kiss.
It's protective and tender.
Just the press of his chest against yours, the warmth that says he’s here, he’s not leaving, he’s not hurting you more.God,He doesn't want to hurt you anymore.
And somehow, in that silence, that unbearable, suffocating quiet, there’s… a fragile kind of peace.
