I never lost him Trigger warnings for PTSD, mentions of war, torture, etc. Just unapologetic cuddling and comfort ft. Steve Rodgers. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Chapter 1 2400 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI Post TWS Steve realises that he's not the only one looking for Sargent Barnes. Reader is Tony’s sister, a non-enhanced shield agent who recently resurfaced.
“I don’t really know what you want me to say”
“Y/N” Tony says, exasperated, “I want you to say that you’ll be more careful”
“That’s a bit rich, comin’ from you”
Natasha scoffs at the young woman’s reply, quickly shrugging at Steve, who is positioned directly across from her in the quinn-jet.
“I” Stark continues, “Didn’t just ransack an entire underground base-“
“No, you were just waiting outside said base, with a shit-tone of explosives”
This time, Romanoff doesn’t even bother to disguise her laughter, much to the dismay of the other, more uncomfortable passengers.
“I also have a billion-dollar suit-”
“I can make myself one, if us matching would make you feel any better”
The offer silences Tony, who rubs at his goatee, screwing his eyes shut for a moment as he considers his sister.
“I’m sorry me doing my job makes you nervous” she offers calmly, standing up from her spot to pace towards the main console, “but, look on the bright side, we got all the tech we wanted, and, it’s one less HYDRA lair for SHIELD to worry about bringing down”
“She’s right, Tony” Steve inserts, speaking for the first time since their departure, “I’m not gonna say I agree with her method-”
“Oh good” Stark counters, still clearly irritated, “Because for a second there, it sounded like you were going to praise my little sister for jumping head on into a fight without backup”
“I had back up” Y/N mutters, keying something into the computer
“Like who?” Tony bristles,
“You” she answers, turning to face him.
It’s clear from the silence that follows, that that is something she was expecting him to have known already.
It’s also clear that her having that level of unwavering faith in him, is something he didn’t consider as a possibility.
He’s suddenly very flattered. It shows.
Y/N rolls her eyes, and everyone notices how identical the expression looks when it’s her who’s wearing it.
Tony smiles the rest of the way back to New York. Not even Fury chastising them for their ‘rash actions’ does much to temper his new found elation. In fact, when he tries to scold Y/N, by saying that ‘Reckless impulsivity’ must be a genetic trait they share, he only seems to get happier.
Steve looks somewhat satisfied with the days events, and Natasha is boarder line chipper considering her usual blank facade.
“What did you go back for?” she whispers, when Y/N eventually takes her seat, back at her side, “i pochemu ty pryachesh' eto ot svoyego brata?” and why are you hiding it from your brother?
“because it’s not any of his business” she answers calmly, ignoring the quirk in Steve’s brow, “Eto to, chto ya dumayu, prinadlezhit Sardzhentu Barnsu”
“Sargent Barnes?” Natasha echos, shock making her forget her place for once.
Rodgers snaps up in his seat, eyes suddenly trained in on the women-
“Don’t pretend you don’t know who he is” Y/N chides, “I know damn well you’ve both been tracking him for months-”
“You know Bucky?!” Steve demands in a hushed tone, acutely aware of their lack of privacy.
“Who the hell is Bucky?” she quotes, not bothering to hide her smirk.
“Son of a bitch!”
“Language” the women tease in unison.
Natasha has taken the minute of distraction to compose herself.
It’s hardly surprising Y/N has caught on to their lame attempts at locating the former assassin. They’ve been hacking into her tech after all-
“No offence” she chides, “but did either of you really think nobody was going to notice a bunch of Stark drones being deployed covertly with no authorisation? ”
It’s clear from Steve’s expression that that’s exactly what he’d thought.
“You’re lucky it was me who caught on” she says, “Tony would have put a stop to it pretty fast, y’know, he’s still a little sour about the whole he murdered our parents thing”
“Y/N/N” Steve begins, clearly desperate, “He didn’t know- there is no way Bucky would’ve-”
She raises a hand to silence him, nodding over at her brother who is still blissfully focused on the navigation software.
“You’ve been keeping him off our tracks” Natasha realises, blinking between the siblings, “You are the one that’s been helping me decrypt the security codes-”
Y/N just shrugs.
“You’re actually quite good” she comments, “for a field agent”
Natasha rolls her eyes, bumping her shoulder playfully.
Steve shifts anxiously on his seat clearly trying to process the information he’s just been hit with.
“If you” he begins, “If you’ve already been doin’ that, would- would you help us? I’m sure with you runnin’ some of the kit we track him down in-”
“I don’t need to track him down” Y/N says pleasantly, shutting her eyes, “I know exactly where he is”
Before either of the others could formulate a response, she’d put her headphones in, and was leaning back against the wall, seemingly serene.
Steve had festered for the entire journey back, sharing strained looks at Natasha who seemed to be utterly unwilling to share in his urgent need to do something.
Once they’d landed, Tony had rushed his sister down to their lab to run some tests on the things they’d brought back, and to update Banner who’d been staying behind with Clint.
Much to his continued dismay, Black Widow had only cautioned him against doing anything stupid where the Starks were concerned. Warning him that he was on thin ice with Tony already, and reminding him of the older man’s protective nature, when it came to his sister.
“But she knows Nat” he’d insisted, “she knows his name, she knew about the bridge, about what he said-”
“maybe” Natasha allows
“-How?! How the hell does she know about that” he half demands, “and how, has does she know ‘exactly where he is!?”
“I don’t kn-”
“Shocking” Y/N says, pushing the door to the room open with a smile on her face, “You’re in the dark about’ somethin’ Red? I’d never have believed it-“
Before the spy can react the teasing, Steve has reacted, he’s turned, jaw locked as he reaches out to grip her arm, hard enough to leave a bruise.
She stiffens at the sudden contact, and Natasha takes a step towards the pair.
Their eyes are locked together, Y/N looks almost curious by the boldness of the mans actions, but she can tell that he’s hurting her, even though she knows him well enough to be certain it’s not deliberate.
“Steve…” she cautions, astutely aware of the way that the other woman is assessing the scenario “let her go”
“Unless you want you and your old buddy to have a matching set” Y/N says, flicking a glance at his hand, “then I’d do what she says.”
Steve releases her instantly, ashamed of the way he’d acted on instinct, without considering how he much have hurt her in the process.
“I’m sorry” he says sincerely, taking a step back, “I didn’t mean to-”
“I know” Y/N accepts, damp hair falling in front of her face as she offers him an amused smile, “Don’t worry about it”
“Y/N/N” Nat begins, hopeful that if she can do the talking, they might stand a chance of leaving this interaction with more information then they’d started with, “You said you know where Barnes is located”
“I did” she agrees, leaning on the counter, “I do”
Steve watches her, body thrumming with adrenaline.
“How?” Nat presses, “we’ve been running drones-”
“I know what you’ve been doin’” she replies, “and don’t get me wrong, I love a satellite controlled drone as much as the next girl, but I’ve been takin’ a different approach in terms of gettin’ an updated location-”
“-and that is?”
“I called him a couple of days ago.”
Steve’s jaw drops open, Natasha’s locks shut.
Y/N looks at the duo, and her amusement visible shifts to something more akin to sympathy, when she sees how earnestly Steve wants information about his friend.
“He’s alright…” she offers, “… safe”
“He has a cell phone?” Nat mumbles, more annoyed at herself for not figuring that out, than she is absorbed in the nuance of the conversation
“He takes your calls?”
“Well yeah” Y/N replies to both of them, “I check in every now and then”
“You… check in, on the winter soldier?”
“Are we still calling him that?” she quips, turning to look at Natasha, “I mean, we can I guess, but it sounds a little formal don't you think? I usually stick with Bucky"
Steve is still speechless. He just blinks dumbly at the women for a second, thoughts racing.
“What?” Y/N chides, “You’re the only one allowed to make new friends?”
He runs a hand through his hair, starring at her again.
“Is that what you are? His friend?”
She thinks his tone is awfully protective, if a little suspicious. It doesn’t take her long to decide that it’s endearing, rather than offensive, so she offers him a smile before shrugging, and murmuring a “somethin’ like that” that makes Natasha scoff.
Another, longer silence fills the room. Nobody seems keen on breaking it, and the mutual air of acceptance that has come with it.
Steve isn’t sure why he trusts the woman’s intentions, but that doesn’t change the fact that he does.
Natasha has always loved Y/N. Their bond goes deeper and further back then any of the others know, so there was never any part of her that was going to risk upsetting her over a man she’s never spoken to.
“He’s expecting a call tonight” Y/N says finally, “I'll tell him you say hello”
The hope that flairs behind Steve’s eyes is sweet. He grins and takes a step towards her, he catches himself though, and slows his movements, feeling absurdly guilty about the way he’d greeted her earlier.
“I’m not giving you his number” she tells him firmly, with no hint of apology
“Please” he asks, feeling the optimism he’d been experiencing a moment ago dissipate like smoke, “Y/N-”
“I can’t” she replies, looking at the other woman for support, “He knows you’re looking for him, Steve, he knows where I live, I-”
“is he angry at me?”
“What?” both girls say in unison
“Why would he be angry at you?” Y/N asks, as Natasha offers her a confused glance.
“I- I left him, I-“
“You nearly died” Black Widow inserts, “He nearly killed you”
“That doesn’t matter Nat, I-”
“No” Y/N says calmly, “No Steve, he’s not angry with you- He’s-” she sighs, “He’s not angry at anybody”
“So why-”
“He’s scared, Steve” Natasha says, as if that answer had been obvious, “I mean can you blame the guy?”
Y/N averts her eyes, but it’s obvious from her expression that she agrees.
“I don’t-”
“God, Steve” the red head continues, "He's clearly running from something, and right now, my money's on us-”
“-Oh, god…”
Y/N looks up seeing, hearing the remorse in their voices.
“He’s fine” she repeats, “but he’s not ready for a reunion”
It looks like he might cry. She can barely handle it, so she moves in, closing the few steps between them, and pulls him into a hug.
He laughs into her shoulder, shocked at the contact, but not displeased. He holds onto her, before nodding when she pulls away.
“Would-” he sighs, clearly emotional, “Would’ya tell him, I’m- I’m sorry, I’ll- I’ll give him space, and I- I swear I never meant to make it any harder on him I just- I just miss him-”
“I’ll tell him, I promise”
He nods again, and reigns himself back in, the best he can, pawing at his face to stop tears from filling his eyes.
“So…” Nat begins, “…what did you bring back for him?”
Steve turns to face the spy, and then the Stark.
Y/N is grinning, as she pulls a silver chain from her pocket.
“What’s that?” Romanoff asks, looking at the dog tag that’s hanging from it almost suspiciously, “and why do you think it’s his?”
“Because it is” Y/N answers calmly, “Isn’t it?”
She hands it to Steve, who holds it like it’s fragile, like it’s precious, or like he’s worried it might disappear.
He turns the tag over in his fingers, looking at the familiar engraving with awe.
“It… that… that’s not possible”
“Clearly, it is” Y/N teases, taking it back from his hands, “He told me about it once, said he’d never taken it off before he fell- when I saw it in that drawer I figured I should probably get it back to him”
“We had them made” Rodgers says, “when we got him out of that camp, everyone was jokin’, said it was so if one of us got lost, we’d get brought back to the other”
“Where’s yours?” she asks, eying his baron neck,
“Somewhere at the bottom of the ocean.”
The sadness in his tone is heavy. It pulls at Y/N’s heart strings until one almost snaps in her chest.
“Well, maybe it’ll come back to you one day” is all she says, even though she feels like she owes him more than that.
He forces a chuckle and nods.
“How are you gonna get it to him?” he asks, clearly nervous, “it could get-”
“I’m going to hand it to him” she says, “I’m not going to risk sending it in the mail, Steve, I promise”
His curiosity is clearly sparked again, but this time, he bites his tongue.
The trust he’s putting in her is tangible. She offers him a smile, and tucks the necklace away.
“I’m gonna get back to T-” she announces, pressing a peck against Natasha’s cheek, “I’ll let you know how he’s getting on”
“We’ll stop the drones” the other woman offers,
“You don’t have to” Y/N replies over her shoulder, “they’re way off track”
Steve shakes his head, dismayed- earlier that week they’d been sure they’d gotten a lead in Budapest.
“We really weren’t ever close?” Nat asks, almost irritated
“No” she replies apologetically, “But if it helps, you were up against me, so you never really stood a chance”
“Careful, darlin” Steve cuts in, “you’re startin’ to sound-”
“Like an arrogant douche bag” Natasha finishes for him,
Y/N laughs, loud and hearty like her brother.
“Maybe it’s genetic” she suggests playfully, “Recklessness, Impulsivity, Arrogance, I’m sure Fury’s puttin’ a list together-”
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